Network - Misfired Question

[heyunderoos]

Who: Peter Parker
Username: Parkour
Warnings: Teenagers being stupid

[Around 3am a post will appear on ADI board. From how badly it is typed, it was clearly accidentally posted. Someone got a little confused about google versus the board.]

hw do you kiss aboy???? how doyou kiss your boufriend???

[There will be no replies until the next day given the nature of the post.]

Comments

Text; un: bright

[abrightboy]

Are you asking for, like, written instructions or a demonstration?

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

I didnt realize this posted on here. I thought I was googling.

i think i'm going to just jump off of something now, oh my god.

Text, un: Chosewell

[failedpromise]

(Cortana "wakes up" after charging, gets on the network, sees this text, and immediately starts laughing.

Congrats Peter, you have made her morning.)

New to realizing you have options outside of the traditionally heterosexual? It's the same way you'd kiss a girl, buddy. Unless you're new to that one too?

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

I'm trying to pretend this post never happened. I'm banning myself from using my phone at 3am ever again.

Text; un: jelica

[musicdied]

Are you drunk, Peter?

[Accidental posts, drunk posts - hard to tell the difference, really. Especially with that typing.]

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

no! I'm not old enough to drink!

Text | un: sgr

[punched_hitler]

I wouldn't think it's all that different from kissing a girl, but I'm sure you're about to get some advice from the available experts.

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm never going to hear the end of this. ever.

text; un: cupkate

[bossyboiler]

Peter. Everyone can see this.

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

I'm very aware now. UGH.

[text, un:rue]

[ruevealing]

A boyfriend!! Peter, how wonderful! I had no idea!

Though perhaps this was not meant for the network. If you need further relationship advice, I'd be most happy to chat.

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

[Still embarrassed, but Rue at least makes it less, horrible.]

Thanks, Rue. It kind of just happened.

It was not meant for the network, I was trying to google at 3am and kinda got sidetracked. [By holding the actual boyfriend in question while kind of watching a movie, its fine.]

I'll probably ask you stuff, if I have any like not embarrassing questions. Thank you.

[edalyn]

same way u kiss anybody, kiddo. [People are frankly weird about gender, here.]

if they're your boyfriend it sounds like you're past the hard part.

or are u just planning ahead? Cause bold move telling 'em this way

[heyunderoos]

I'll keep that in mind, thank you. New to dating tbh.

Well. I'm sure he'll either laugh at this post or be embarrassed idk yet.

text | un: rulerzreachf4n

[byeeeeeeeee]

This is really.brave of you. POsting at 3in the morning. To literally Everyone.

[And he's not even being sarcastic.]

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

[Hunter what does this mean?]

I posted it accidentally since I wasn't really paying attention actually.

1/2

[neonleon]

[neonleon]

[brb googling how to delete someone else's post]

[not here]

[semilethal]

[Reluctantly archives post and replies, because he archives everything, but does not enjoy doing it]

[heyunderoos]

[must you do this to him, donnie.]

text: un: hickey

[friendsfordinner]

On the lips?
As someone who's kissed a decent amount of men in my time, you're overthinking it.

[ diversity win! your murderous cannibal mutineer is gay! ]

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

[finally, the diversity we deserve!!]

I tend to overthink, yeah.

I also do it way worse at 3 am when I posted this without like looking where I was posting.

[thefinalpower]

'Tis simple! You just apply your mouth to their mouth. Make sure you don't cough, sneeze, or anything else.

[ ADVICE FROM THE LOVE GURU OVER HERE ]

[heyunderoos]

[THANK YOU, ALL POWERFUL LOVE GURU!

Peter just stares at the response for a long time, not sure what to even say.]

Right. I'll... take note of that.

Do I even wanna ask what other advice you have on standby?

un; punchgirl

[lesbeau]

you just do it? your mouth to their mouth. like i assume this is a gay crisis thing and not a literal thing but you should go for it if they also want to kiss you.

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

It wasn't a crisis! It was just like- googling! You know, you gotta google stuff to like fact check.

text | un: carter

[setthetone]

Are you okay?

text; un: Parkour

[heyunderoos]

Yes, i'm fine.

Just embarrassed.

text; un: freakscene

[cacophonish]

sooooo
did you get any good answers dude

text; un; Parkour

[heyunderoos]

I guess? mostly people wondering if I was drunk or if I was okay.