NETWORK: a measured response

[cacophonish]

Who: Jeff!
Username: freakscene
Warnings: None (for once???)

IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME TO PLAY THAT FUCKING WORM GAME I'M GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR PHONES AND THROW THEM IN THE FUCKING OCEAN!!!!!!!

i cant even get through a set without my phone blowing up with texts about this stupid game!!! how did fucking DAVE from accounting even get my number??

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕!!!!

[ And, for those living at Bonnie's, you can now hear the above playlist being blasted from Jeff's room. Desperate times call for desperately passive aggressive measures. ]

Comments

un: bright

[abrightboy]

[He hasn’t been blowing up Jeff’s phone but he can’t not respond to a direct question about it.]

It’s fun. Have you even tried it?

[cacophonish]

NO AND I'M NOT GOING TO!!!

[ You can tell it's serious because he's using capitalization and exclamation marks. The more capitalization and exclamation marks there are, the more serious he is! ]

[abrightboy]

I’m not usually into these things either, but it’s honestly great.

[cacophonish]

the only game worth playing is Rampage

is this Rampage? NO. its a stupid game about a gross fucking WORM!!!

un: Aberration 👑

[aelwyn_aberration]

Awwwww. Are you mad because you can't play for shit?

Nobody likes a sore loser, sweetie. 💖

[That's just what she assumes, anyway.]

[cacophonish]

[ Et tu, Aelwyn? ]

jokes on you i already KNOW i cant play for shit so i didnt even open it!!

[aelwyn_aberration]

Oh, you poor thing. Well, don't worry about it, we can't all be successful.

If it makes you feel any better, everyone else in this entire office fucking sucks at it too.

[Couldn't be her. The worm champion.]

[cacophonish]

yeah well i have better things to do than play that stupid game!!!

you used to be fun. everyones so BORING now!!

un: max

[carmesi]

imagine having a quiet neighbor

[JEFF, YOUR FIRST AND FINAL WARNING]

[cacophonish]

i'll stop playing music if everyone stops talking about the worm game

[ SORRY, WANDA, THIS IS WAR. ]

[carmesi]

there is a *hole* on our shared wall

i do not even play the game anymore and i am the one suffering your temper tantrum the most.

[getting treated like her twin at this point]

[cacophonish]

[ He has a LOT of experience being a deeply annoying sibling, so this kind of familiar territory. HE CAN TUNE IT OUT--

okay, no he does feel a little guilty about the innocent collateral damage. ]

help me with the worm problem and i'll let you pick the music?

un: blam

[earthshine]

[ this is mature and not an overreaction. ]

Threatening others for enjoying themselves isn’t a good look.

[cacophonish]

[ It is EXTREMELY MATURE and THE PERFECT LEVEL OF REACTION ]

Dave from accounting just called me a little bitch because i wouldnt play the game

he changed my name in his phone to "little bitch" and sent me a screen shot to prove it

AND NOW HE'S SENDING ME WORM EMOJIS AND PICTURES OF THE LEADERBOARD OVER AND OVER AGAIN

IM BEING BULLIED BY A MAN WHOS OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY DAD!!!!! this game is making everyone STUPID!

[earthshine]

[ shiro is vaguely reminded of a certain teenager he knows back home.
very loud. very dramatic.
– this is his own fault for getting involved. ]

You can block his number, can’t you?

[ also wow, excuse you?? this game is fantastic and everyone involved is so exceedingly far from stupid.
especially those who score high.
like shiro.
… has jeff seen shiro’s high score? he should. ]

[cacophonish]

[ DO NOT SEND HIM YOUR HIGH SCORE, SIR. ]

that's not the point!!!!! if its not Dave its gonna be someone else!

[text] un: cupkate

[bossyboiler]

But it's adorable.

[cacophonish]

IS IT??? cuz no matter how long i look at that fucking worm i JUST DONT SEE WHAT MAKES IT SPECIAL!!

[bossyboiler]

It's cute and it's fun and this special hell that we find ourselves in, that's enough for me.

un: strange

[sorser]

Please turn your music down.

[That's it, that's the message. Stephen @ god: why.]

[cacophonish]

[ Jeff should probably listen to this very reasonable request.

But instead he's going to channel his hippie parents in the dumbest, pettiest way: ]

im engaging in nonviolent protest until the worm game goes away

[sorser]

[Stephen is way too tired for this.]

Your non-violent protest is affecting those of us that have zero to do with your discontent. Some of us are trying to meditate in peace.

@GasStationJack

[stations]

Wow, that's a pretty impressive list of fuck-off songs.

( Seriously. He means that. Genuinely impressive. )

Is there a way to like clone or
Oh never mind, I figured it out

( But, uh... )

Could you maybe... actually go steal people's phones? Not mine, but you know. Other people's. No reason.

[cacophonish]

thanks man! i wish i could take credit for it. theres like a playlist for every possible mood you can think of. its fucking awesome 🙂

and yeah i probably could i mean its not hard to steal

wait

why?

[stations]

because
to
help save them from

gingivitis

app gingivitis
they found out it's transmissible through the game, and you know what they say, overall health begins with your teeth

( Jack is, as you can see, a fucking. Terrible. Liar. )