NETWORK: a measured response

[cacophonish]

Who: Jeff!
Username: freakscene
Warnings: None (for once???)

IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME TO PLAY THAT FUCKING WORM GAME I'M GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR PHONES AND THROW THEM IN THE FUCKING OCEAN!!!!!!!

i cant even get through a set without my phone blowing up with texts about this stupid game!!! how did fucking DAVE from accounting even get my number??

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕!!!!

[ And, for those living at Bonnie's, you can now hear the above playlist being blasted from Jeff's room. Desperate times call for desperately passive aggressive measures. ]

Comments

[cacophonish]

thanks man! i wish i could take credit for it. theres like a playlist for every possible mood you can think of. its fucking awesome 🙂

and yeah i probably could i mean its not hard to steal

wait

why?

[stations]

because
to
help save them from

gingivitis

app gingivitis
they found out it's transmissible through the game, and you know what they say, overall health begins with your teeth

( Jack is, as you can see, a fucking. Terrible. Liar. )

[cacophonish]

dude

what???

[ Jack. Jack, are you under Hermy's spell.

HELP HIM UNDERSTAND. ]

[stations]

I'M IN FOURTH PLACE MY REFLEXES AREN'T GREAT I DON'T SLEEP IT'S AN ADVANTAGE AND A HANDICAP AT THE SAME TIME, ALSO I ONLY HAVE NINE FINGERS

[cacophonish]

[ There's a very, very long pause before Jeff responds. ]

FUCKING HERMY

FUCK!!

[ He feels BAMBOOZLED. But, he's also quick to get over the betrayal... ]

ok fine if you pay me i'll swipe some phones

[stations]

( ha ha no way José, he knows the signs of addiction, he is NOT so invested in this game that he's willing to pay anybody actual money-- )

how much

[cacophonish]

$10 per phone

[ Wait, is he underselling? He's underselling, isn't he. ]

that was a typo i meant $100

[ ...too much? ]

[stations]

Okay, I might have an objectively unhealthy investment in winning that I'm not letting myself examine too closely but even I know extortion when I see it

Five bucks each and I'll throw in candy I took from the Halloween party

[cacophonish]

[ He's about to try to haggle the price back up to at least $10 per phone, but then there's that sweet candy deal and yeah okay, that's just fine by him. ]

ok deal

get me a hit list and i'll take out the competition

[ Hmmm that looks more threatening than he intended. ]

's phones