text; @abbykim

[retisense]

hello you beautiful people

pimp me the department you work in, the only thing worse than working a regular job is working odd jobs and I'm DONE

Comments

[abrightboy]

What are you good at?

un: freakscene

[cacophonish]

come on 9 to 5s are SOOO much worse

[retisense]

sarcastic commentary and studying
more seriously, I'm an architect

[retisense]

okay, bender from breakfast club

i'm so sorry

[cacophonish]

dude he was so hot...
i used to jerk off thinking about him

[abrightboy]

Hobbies?

un: Kugrash

[ratjesus]

Throw a dart at a list of what this place has to offer and go apeshit.

never apologize

[retisense]

gross

why bender when allison is right there?

[cacophonish]

1. not gross
2. i jerked off to her too

[retisense]

reading
knitting
volleyball

see this is why I haven't signed up for anything yet
useless

[retisense]

possibly the most useful suggestion yet

do you have a dart?
I guess I could use a steak knife

[retisense]

thinking about my history teacher jerking it to anyone is gross

try it
just imagine your us history teacher jerking it to literally anyone
bet you'll agree

[abrightboy]

So you’re athletic, dextrous, intelligent. Have you considered investigations?

un: strange

[sorser]

Do you have any kind of medical background?

[Reading the other comments… he can hazard a guess at the answer.]

@GasStationJack

[stations]

Turns out there's a part of the cool investigations department that's mostly just research, like reading local lore and stuff to see if it has anything to do with the weird stuff going on. I started doing that a little, and helping out with Staff Development. That's the department in charge of teaching the employees Stuff. Not that I have anything to teach them, I mostly just file papers and staple things to other things, but I get to sit in on some of the classes.

Not really sure if I'm learning anything or not yet, I'll get back to you on that.

[cacophonish]

[ YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE HATES YOU TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE THAT DEFINITELY DOESN'T EXIST, ABBY. HE HATES IT SO MUCH.

needless to say there's a bit of a delay before he responds. ]

fuck you

george michael every time i watched the music video for "faith"
this poster of debbie harry i had on my wall
my brothers hidden porno mags
my other brothers d&d manual
david bowie pretty much all the time
every replicant in bladerunner
jamie gertz
bon jovi
prince
also the fresh prince of bel air
when arnolds naked at the beginning of terminator
jennifer connelly in career opportunities
keanu reeves & patrick swayze in point break
keanu reeves in bill and teds excellent adventure
keanu reeves in this shitty movie i saw on tv once
i guess keanu reeves in general

[ yes Jeff's just trying to ruin everything for Abby!! ]

[retisense]

thanks, you've ruined my whole childhood

[retisense]

wow, flattery will get you everywhere
kind of
tell me about it?

[retisense]

up to date first aid, narcan trained, but not beyond that
I can heal with magic but I try not to

@ren

[forethinking]

I work canteen and equipment, if you like cooking and making things.

[retisense]

jack, my man, how are you doing?

as you can probably tell, our plan for me to sit in as the blueprint guy for heists isn't providing regular work

that sounds like something I might be able to do, actually
did you learn anything neat in the classes?

[stations]

Pretty good Abby, how are you?

Sucks about the blueprint thing, it sounded totally awesome in my head.

I sat in on this one class about learning an alien language, but the only thing I remembered after that was a crazy migraine and something that looked like a crooked number 8. There was this one wilderness survival class, I theoretically know how to build a campfire. I haven't actually tested that one yet. Seemed like a bad idea, what with the repeatedly dying for the last few weeks. It's basically just asking to burn the building down.

[cacophonish]

mission accomplished!

admin was ok when i worked there last month

[ yeah enjoy that conversational whiplash back to relevance. ]

[retisense]

that's okay, I'm just gonna call you Mr. Calhoun for the next week as punishment

yeah? what is it, just like regular office work?

[retisense]

I've been better, but I'm surviving
it's good to hear your voice
and hey they did say they'd give me a call if they ever had a heist to do but something tells me that was just to make me happy

yikes, about the alien language thing
maybe the human brain just wasn't equipped for it or something

oh man, building a campfire is useful though, not that I've had much chance to try it either
your fears are valid though, it's been a really rough month