[log] no matter what they tell you / the future's up for grabs, no

[lowficharm]

Who: Martin and you, possibly!
When: After his network post over the next day or two.
Where: The ADI apartments, the library, and the beach.
Summary: Jon has disappeared. Martin is not taking it well by any stretch of the word.
Warnings: Disassociation, codependency, depression, lots and lots of guilt, and maybe more as they come up.

i. [ADI apartments] nobody said the road was endless / nobody said the climb was friendless

[Jon is gone. Jon is not here and his phone is deactivated and Martin is running over every single detail of the day and the last time he saw him in his head. It was this morning, they were in bed, he's sure he saw him then and did he say I love you this morning? Did he forget? The mug Jon used for coffee is still in the sink, it can't have been that far, he can't have gone that far.

At first, he's just in the apartment after he makes the post, pacing around and looking for clues. He's checked every window for any kind of unknown entry, he's gone through every paper left behind on the small desk in their room, he's looked in every drawer for missing clothes or belongings or--

Even if you don't come calling to just check on him, he can be found around apartment block B, just... looking. It's uncanny how quiet he is in these moments, seeming to look at places on the floor, at windows, even in the stairwell, but he's in rapt attention until he's approached.]

Sorry, if-- don't mind me. Just looking for something, you can carry on, don't mean to block you--

[He almost sounds out of breath, for some reason. Strange.]

ii. [the library] but could we please pretend this won't end?

[He can't stay in the apartment for too long. Once he's searched ADI up and down, it's off to other places he thinks Jon might be. He's heard something's happening with the library recently- maybe Jon's investigating, it would be normal, it would be so normal to find him there and this could all be over so quickly.

In fact, as soon as he steps in, he hears him. It's faint, but the relief he feels is so sweet he almost feels like crying. Immediately he's almost running, eyes sharp and alert, towards his voice. But he doesn't see him still, even though it's most certainly Jon's voice, until he almost runs smack into the history section wall. This makes no sense. It's not right and it's not...

It's not real. It's not real, is it? Of course. How could he be so stupid.

So he sits. He sits in a nearby chair, closes his eyes, and tries to listen for anything he can. If you come in to approach, you may also be able to hear the voice of a man, sounding as if he's speaking through a tape recorder of some kind.]

These Entities will follow us anywhere we go, but we have to stop them, no matter what. We run on time that is not ours, to a place not our own, but we have to succeed or risk everything. There is no going back. There is no. Going. Back.

iii. [the beach] we'll cry later or cry now / you know it's heartbreak

[It's quiet here. He's sitting cross-legged in the sand as the sun sets, the movement of the waves creating a fine mist that extends up past where the waves reach. It's still winter-- still cold-- but he doesn't seem bothered, even if you might be able to see his breath as he exhales. His eyes aren't closed, but he's barely even blinking as he looks out into the expanse, sitting unnaturally still. It's almost as if he isn't even there, even with no one else around. A fitting place for him. A fitting end, perhaps.

But he doesn't seem to be dying, or leaving, just... existing. He won't say anything unless addressed, or you come and sit next to him in the silence, where eventually he'll break it.]

Do you need something? From me.

iv. [wildcard] we could dance our tears away, emancipate ourselves

[Want something else with Martin on this? Hit me up via DM, Discord, or Plurk at cancerously and we can get plotting!]

Comments

i.

[ruevealing]

Martin!

[It's by chance that they meet right in between both of their apartments, Rue just on their way to a late afternoon lunch, though easily set off track by the sight of their neighbor. It has been a few days since they've run into one another and Rue must fill him in on everything that's happened since.]

My friend, I simply must tell you about these cookies I found in town! I was just thinking we should set up another afternoon tea date, are you free - Oh. Spirits.

[They may not know each other that well in comparison, but even Rue can pick up that something is terribly wrong. The excitement in their expression softens into something more gentle and subdued, feathery brows pinching together with worry. A taloned paw falls gently to the man's shoulder.]

Martin, what's happened?

[lowficharm]

[Under any other circumstance, he'd be more than excited to hear about all sorts of cookies and gossip. Right now though, he looks a little bit like he's been hit by a truck.]

Oh, it-- Rue, I-- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--

[Shit, no, they asked him a question and are probably one of the few people who might really get the gravity when he says this. So he looks at her, much more tired than he means to be.]

Jon's missing. I, I think-- I don't know, but he's been kidnapped before, a-and I can't reach him.

[ruevealing]

Kidnapped?!

[Against his shoulder, Rue's touch tightens, worry clouding their expression.]

When did you last see him? We must go looking! Hob - if you have something of Jon's, Hob may be able to track him down.

[lowficharm]

It-- it might be, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time--

[Wait, something of his, how--]

If you need clothing or, o-or something, I mean it's-- yeah, all his stuff's still here. That's why I thought it wasn't like a trip or, or something, and he didn't even leave a note and if he just wandered off I am going to give him SUCH a talk I SWEAR.

[Did he breathe? Prrrrobably not! He's having one part panic attack one part pissed off attack, so emotions are Hard.]

[ruevealing]

[okay. of course finding John is going to be the absolute priority over the next few hours, but first, Rue thinks, they need to tend to dear Martin before he works himself into a total panic attack.

It's almost graceful how Rue immediately manages to slip a wing around the man's shoulder, turning him on the spot, gently walking with him back to Rue's own apartment.]

Breathe, my friend. Please. Inhale deeply.

ii

[archonloaf]

[Officially, Urianger is here to Research. As far as the ADI are concerned, he's looking into incidences of the name Gus (or such names as Gus might reasonably be a derivative of), because while it's entirely possible it's just G1_15's shape and the fact humans like rhyming things he would be The World's Worst Folklorist if he didn't at least consider that some sort of tragedy had been mythologised into 'wandering spider bus', right? On first glance, you'd be forgiven for just assuming he's mid-study, given the tome sat in his lap and the comfy academia vibe he's currently rocking. Forgiven, also, for overlooking him entirely, distracted as one might be with the siren-call summoning them here, bringing them perhaps down another aisle to the one he's ensconced in.

And it's not as if he isn't intending to research. If anything the voice helps. He completed his Archon thesis with Moen sat next to him rambling about her own research into auracite, her frustration with her mother, how he should eat more... the looping track talking about the dawn will come, the song will end is distraction on easy mode.

But he's absolutely there to listen. And so it's with something beyond irritation, but just shy of panic, that he looks up when the voice changes. It's not the first time it's happened - people wander in and out, chasing their own phantoms - but every time it hurts to have her pulled away.

Still, he knows she will return - or rather, he trusts that she will, and tries to ignore the fear that this time will be the last - and so he returns to reading in what's ostensibly companionable silence. She always comes back, when they leave.

If they leave.

Whoever this is clearly isn't leaving. So he gets up, stretching out limbs grown sluggish and prickly from inactivity, and pokes his head around the stacks, looking for... ah. Yes. There.

The gangly nerd (the ADI's mandatory glamour brings him to something closer to 6 foot than his true height, rounds out his pointed ears, but if Martin's seen him about the hallowed halls of Research or moving around B Block then the rest is similar enough) clears his throat]

... art thou quite well?

i am so deeply sorry about how late this is

[lowficharm]

[It's likely Martin has seen the other man around; he gets between lots of places in ADI working for research and administration, and he's a friendly sort. But right now he's quiet, unassuming, shoulders down and back to the door. He looks almost helpless, and he just barely turns as the other man acknowledges him.]

Sorry, I-- I'm not hurt.

[He pretty much knows that's not what he was asked. Regardless, his head moves back towards the 'source' of the voice.]

Just... disappointed. I guess.

iii

[worthallthis]

[Winter is not particularly fond of the beach, but on one of his patrol-like prowls around town he spotted Martin heading that way, and now he's circling back around to check on him. Because hey, he saw that message about Jon, and he knows they were close.

So he hovers around behind him for a long minute before crunching up over the sand in his combat boots to crouch beside him, just barely within touching reach.]

You okay.

[lowficharm]

[Honestly, Martin doesn't know what he'd do if someone touched him. It seems so foreign now, everything around him out of touch and far away.

He hears Winter, though. And he could lie. But he's... a bit tired, for that.]

I'm not hurt. Physically, I mean.

[That... doesn't really answer the question.]

[worthallthis]

That's good.

[Well, really, it's partly an answer. He does, however, add his clear observation:]

You're upset.

[It's a statement of the obvious, sure, but it's also an invitation to talk about it if Martin wants to.]

[lowficharm]

[For once, their roles lie reversed. Winter is prodding for Martin to have emotions, and Martin looks like he has absolutely no idea how to have them. All of the grief, the hurt, those are so big. How does he even begin to address it all?]

I'm... yeah. Jon's gone.

[He wants to call him his boyfriend again, maybe something more, but he can't. The thought makes his throat tighten and he loses focus on the feeling, as if remembering too much will cause him to burst.]

I looked everywhere. But he's just... gone.

[worthallthis]

[Well, that was a start. Also, Winter had figured that much out. He starts with:]

I'm sorry.

[Because losing people sucks. He remembers losing Strange. Wanda. Meredith. The thought of losing someone even loser to him, Yelena or Steve or Kate, is not one he likes to contemplate. But he also has all three of them. He's not sure who Martin has.]

Do you have other people? Who aren't him. But just. Other people, too.

i

[punched_hitler]

[Steve saw Martin's post earlier; it's not unusual for him to not always see his roommates before he leaves for the morning, but he thinks it is certainly unusual for Martin to be looking for - unable to reach - Jon. So he keeps an eye out for the guy all day, just in case. Maybe even sends Sims a text in the afternoon, just to make sure he and Martin had checked in.

He doesn't get a reply.

When he gets back that afternoon, he runs into Martin before he quite makes it back to the apartment. One look at the guy sort of tells him all he needs to know.]

He hasn't turned up yet?

[It's... mostly a question, but a little bit not.]

i'm so sorry this is so late omg

[lowficharm]

[Martin shakes his head. It's a bit nice not to have to explain to someone else what he's doing, but there's no comfort in his lack of answers.]

No. No one's seen him. And his phone, it-- it won't even connect.

[It could be a coincidence, but whatever it is it's making his anxiety about it all worse.]

I just-- this isn't like him. Not like this.

Not at all! <33

[punched_hitler]

Shit, [Steve murmurs softly. That doesn't bode well, and,] No. That's not like him.

Do you want help looking? Or do you want me to stick around the apartment for a while in case he shows up?

[Or if you just need a break. And some company.]

Or I can just make myself scarce, [he adds, because while Martin doesn't seem like the kind to want to spend time alone, Steve won't judge if he does.]

thank u for your patience <3

[lowficharm]

No! No, I mean, it-- you don't have to leave. Only, uhm, o-only if you want, that is.

[You have no idea how much he is no longer allowed to be the Alone Person, Steve.]

I don't think he's going to come home. Not, not on his own, I'm-- I'm worried he's been taken. By something, o-or, or someone.

[Or ADI, god forbid.]

<333

[punched_hitler]

[Truth be told, Steve kind of doesn't want to leave Martin alone.

Though he also doesn't like the sound of that.] Do you have any ideas, specifically?

[He's not accusing, like he doesn't believe Martin. He's genuinely asking, so they can start following up.

Maybe he can call Yelena.]

iii.

[edalyn]

[Eda is taking a walk along the beach, for her own reasons that may or may not involve being sad, lonely, and wanting space.

She's normally fairly observant, even when she's lost in her own thoughts, so she's a bit surprised when she realises there's someone sitting very nearby. Then again, her eyes are especially tuned to detecting movement, and they're practically a statue.

The witch almost decides to mind her own business, but... then she recognizes the man. She doesn't know him well, but she sees him around, and she remembers the first time they met. Along with his recent post about someone she doesn't really know, on the network. After a brief bout of indecision she decides to go and simply sit by him.]

From you? Nah. I just figured... you were there when I was a little lost. Y'know, in the, [and she gestures vaguely, because this sounds stupid even to her, but maybe that will at least break some tension,] bread.

[lowficharm]

[Martin seems tuned out of the world, almost out of everything when Eda shows up, and it's effort to get him back to even speak. It's effort he makes only because he knows he has to, because he knows the consequences of giving in to his vices, but not one he takes any joy in doing. But he listens, even finds it in himself to sigh a small amount in what might be a laugh when she speaks.]

Yeah. The bread.

[He's not quite looking at her, just sort of off into the water as the waves break on shore.]

It's not that different. Being here, I mean. On the seashore.

[edalyn]

[Eda's glad she got... almost a laugh, if nothing else.]

Okay, I've gotta ask. When you say that d'you mean there's actually some Entity nonsense going on, or are you just having a bad day?

[She keeps her tone somewhat lighthearted, but she's genuinely curious; in this place you never know. And she doesn't sound like she's laughing at him.]

[lowficharm]

[That's... kind of not what he expected her to say, and he tilts his head, even though he's still not looking at her.]

Uh... well. I don't think there's any Entity things right now. I just meant... y-you know, the fog and. Isolation, sort of. If that makes sense.

[There's a small pause, before he adds--]

Less, uhm. Less hot though.

ii (belated)

[dangerousmind]

[She'd been looking for Jon all day. She'd heard he was gone but her mind, a citadel built on her own paranoia and fear, she couldn't get the image out of her head that maybe he'd been discovered, that maybe he was down in the basement where Pyre was supposed to be.

She'd kept an eye on Martin - more than usual - and it's now that she comes to talk to him. The Entities will follow them. Not the other way round, as one would expect for beings of such a catastrophic size. Jon always seemed to believe her ideas of destroying the entities in the way that wizards have destroyed Gods in the past were naive and yet...

What is this? Why isn't she sure whether to feel angry or sad or guilty?]

...What does he mean? Martin?

listen bro i'm belated all the time

[lowficharm]

[One thing he gets, between the Eye and the Lonely, is the ability to know clearly when he's being watched. It's never something he's asked for or used in particular, but when you're dating Eyeballs McGee it becomes simple to tell when someone is fixated or not, even if he isn't directly looking. So he's aware of Aelwyn's arrival, suspects even that it's her before she speaks, even though he stays perfectly still. She was always so clever. But who is he protecting now?

He just breathes, for a few seconds, and then reaches to put his hand on the bench next to him.]

You should sit down. If you really want to know. It's a long story.

[If she does come close enough to see his face, she'll be able to see the tears still there, barely wiped away.]

[dangerousmind]

[It takes her a moment to register his response. She was expecting another deflection, perhaps a lie. It feels wrong. She actually liked Jon too, in her way. He was deeply frustrating, broken in more ways than even she was, because at least she had some fight in her. But he did too, didn't he? That was the problem.

But now he's gone, and all that's left of what he offered her is Martin.

And now he's offering.

So Aelwyn sits down, slowly, patiently. It feels wrong. She thinks about offering condolences, or opening with a question, even an accusation. But nothing comes out of her mouth, so instead she folds her hands together, not knowing what to do or say.]

[lowficharm]

[He's used to it, in his own way. That he is the one who remains. It's always him, crawling away from something at the last moment, offering himself to a bigger cause and losing at every turn. It figures. Of course it does.

So he lets her sit, tries to rally himself, even if she can likely see the puff of fog from his mouth when he speaks again.]

What has Jon told you? About him. Our-- my London.