[log] no matter what they tell you / the future's up for grabs, no

[lowficharm]

Who: Martin and you, possibly!
When: After his network post over the next day or two.
Where: The ADI apartments, the library, and the beach.
Summary: Jon has disappeared. Martin is not taking it well by any stretch of the word.
Warnings: Disassociation, codependency, depression, lots and lots of guilt, and maybe more as they come up.

i. [ADI apartments] nobody said the road was endless / nobody said the climb was friendless

[Jon is gone. Jon is not here and his phone is deactivated and Martin is running over every single detail of the day and the last time he saw him in his head. It was this morning, they were in bed, he's sure he saw him then and did he say I love you this morning? Did he forget? The mug Jon used for coffee is still in the sink, it can't have been that far, he can't have gone that far.

At first, he's just in the apartment after he makes the post, pacing around and looking for clues. He's checked every window for any kind of unknown entry, he's gone through every paper left behind on the small desk in their room, he's looked in every drawer for missing clothes or belongings or--

Even if you don't come calling to just check on him, he can be found around apartment block B, just... looking. It's uncanny how quiet he is in these moments, seeming to look at places on the floor, at windows, even in the stairwell, but he's in rapt attention until he's approached.]

Sorry, if-- don't mind me. Just looking for something, you can carry on, don't mean to block you--

[He almost sounds out of breath, for some reason. Strange.]

ii. [the library] but could we please pretend this won't end?

[He can't stay in the apartment for too long. Once he's searched ADI up and down, it's off to other places he thinks Jon might be. He's heard something's happening with the library recently- maybe Jon's investigating, it would be normal, it would be so normal to find him there and this could all be over so quickly.

In fact, as soon as he steps in, he hears him. It's faint, but the relief he feels is so sweet he almost feels like crying. Immediately he's almost running, eyes sharp and alert, towards his voice. But he doesn't see him still, even though it's most certainly Jon's voice, until he almost runs smack into the history section wall. This makes no sense. It's not right and it's not...

It's not real. It's not real, is it? Of course. How could he be so stupid.

So he sits. He sits in a nearby chair, closes his eyes, and tries to listen for anything he can. If you come in to approach, you may also be able to hear the voice of a man, sounding as if he's speaking through a tape recorder of some kind.]

These Entities will follow us anywhere we go, but we have to stop them, no matter what. We run on time that is not ours, to a place not our own, but we have to succeed or risk everything. There is no going back. There is no. Going. Back.

iii. [the beach] we'll cry later or cry now / you know it's heartbreak

[It's quiet here. He's sitting cross-legged in the sand as the sun sets, the movement of the waves creating a fine mist that extends up past where the waves reach. It's still winter-- still cold-- but he doesn't seem bothered, even if you might be able to see his breath as he exhales. His eyes aren't closed, but he's barely even blinking as he looks out into the expanse, sitting unnaturally still. It's almost as if he isn't even there, even with no one else around. A fitting place for him. A fitting end, perhaps.

But he doesn't seem to be dying, or leaving, just... existing. He won't say anything unless addressed, or you come and sit next to him in the silence, where eventually he'll break it.]

Do you need something? From me.

iv. [wildcard] we could dance our tears away, emancipate ourselves

[Want something else with Martin on this? Hit me up via DM, Discord, or Plurk at cancerously and we can get plotting!]

Comments

[lowficharm]

[He nods. He knows all about making those kind of concessions.]

I know. It's... something, at least. I mean, it-- we're all just trying our best, you know? Just to make it.

[edalyn]

We sure are. I may not like this place... [And here it's entirely clear if she means the Human Realm, or this Human Realm, or the ADI, or all of the above.]

But I'm pretty sure it's better than trying to go it alone. [Or at least, that's what she keeps telling herself.]

[lowficharm]

It is.

[He's learned that, kind of by force. Or rather-- it's something he always knew, but didn't always believe he deserved. But if others deserve it, if he's trying to save everyone, that must include himself. He has to be there for others. So he must get them, too.]

It's the connection that makes us different from the Entities. It-- It's our biggest strength against them.

[edalyn]

Is it? I can't say I've ever stopped to ask if the cosmic horrors have friends.

[This is partly flippant, but... well, she's not actually if that is what makes them different, at least not that it's the one specific thing or anything.]

[lowficharm]

I mean-- they can't.

[He knows this to be true, if only because he did this kind of research when he was alone in the Archive. Thankfully, he doesn't have to say as much.]

They're... they're fear incarnate. You can't be... there's no room for friendship when you are only fear. So the fact we can team up, have real bonds to stop us from being afraid, it-- it can stop them. Like... er, well. Like I did for you. In the bakery.

[Right, he did that, even though he was so afraid. It's nice to think he saved someone, despite it all. He did something with his time here. It mattered.]

[edalyn]

Sometimes I think that's all they they are. Or... maybe even less than that. [Depending on how much people read in despite the lack of any intent.] But sometimes I think we're missing something.

[And unfortunately, she's not sure if there's really a way to prove it one way or the other. Or at least she doesn't think they're really near figuring out how.]

But you're right, that worked pretty well. [It might be the reason she's still here, in a general sense. It's definitely the reason she's talking to him, either way.]

[lowficharm]

[At another time, he'd be much more willing to debate this, even if he was never very good at the theory of it all. But right now he just doesn't have the heart for it all, so he simply shrugs.]

I dunno. Maybe.

[He lets his gaze rest again out towards the edge of the ocean.]

I'm glad it worked then though. For-- for you, I mean. I'm glad I could help when you needed it.

[edalyn]

Yeah, I'm... not sure if I would have made it out of there.

[Which she doesn't really like admitting, but at the same time, it's true, and it might be good for him to hear he did in fact make a difference.]

Probably not in time to find the bread guy, anyway.

[lowficharm]

Oh, right.

[Right, she had helped to find that guy. How about that. Maybe he helped more then. Maybe.]

Well... I'm also glad you did that, too. So.

[That's?? Good??]

[edalyn]

Yeah, I'm... hoping he'll be alright.

[Even if he caused an awful lot of arm, she can't entirely blame the guy any more than she can blame anyone who's gotten mixed up in all of this.

Either way, she's pretty sure it's a good thing they found him.]

But at least no one else is eating cursed bread.

[lowficharm]

That's true.

[He lets it sit in silence for a bit longer, seeming to ponder something he doesn't say.]

Well, I... I think I might go back now. Get some rest. If that's alright.

[Not that he should need permission. It just feels wrong to say otherwise.]

[edalyn]

I mean, I'm not your mom.

[She knows what he means, but he doesn't need permission.]

Just... remember we're all around, yeah?

[lowficharm]

[He'd like to smile at that, but he can't quite. Instead, he just nods.]

Yeah. I... I'll remember that.

[And off he goes, somehow to be a little less alone.]