[log] no matter what they tell you / the future's up for grabs, no

[lowficharm]

Who: Martin and you, possibly!
When: After his network post over the next day or two.
Where: The ADI apartments, the library, and the beach.
Summary: Jon has disappeared. Martin is not taking it well by any stretch of the word.
Warnings: Disassociation, codependency, depression, lots and lots of guilt, and maybe more as they come up.

i. [ADI apartments] nobody said the road was endless / nobody said the climb was friendless

[Jon is gone. Jon is not here and his phone is deactivated and Martin is running over every single detail of the day and the last time he saw him in his head. It was this morning, they were in bed, he's sure he saw him then and did he say I love you this morning? Did he forget? The mug Jon used for coffee is still in the sink, it can't have been that far, he can't have gone that far.

At first, he's just in the apartment after he makes the post, pacing around and looking for clues. He's checked every window for any kind of unknown entry, he's gone through every paper left behind on the small desk in their room, he's looked in every drawer for missing clothes or belongings or--

Even if you don't come calling to just check on him, he can be found around apartment block B, just... looking. It's uncanny how quiet he is in these moments, seeming to look at places on the floor, at windows, even in the stairwell, but he's in rapt attention until he's approached.]

Sorry, if-- don't mind me. Just looking for something, you can carry on, don't mean to block you--

[He almost sounds out of breath, for some reason. Strange.]

ii. [the library] but could we please pretend this won't end?

[He can't stay in the apartment for too long. Once he's searched ADI up and down, it's off to other places he thinks Jon might be. He's heard something's happening with the library recently- maybe Jon's investigating, it would be normal, it would be so normal to find him there and this could all be over so quickly.

In fact, as soon as he steps in, he hears him. It's faint, but the relief he feels is so sweet he almost feels like crying. Immediately he's almost running, eyes sharp and alert, towards his voice. But he doesn't see him still, even though it's most certainly Jon's voice, until he almost runs smack into the history section wall. This makes no sense. It's not right and it's not...

It's not real. It's not real, is it? Of course. How could he be so stupid.

So he sits. He sits in a nearby chair, closes his eyes, and tries to listen for anything he can. If you come in to approach, you may also be able to hear the voice of a man, sounding as if he's speaking through a tape recorder of some kind.]

These Entities will follow us anywhere we go, but we have to stop them, no matter what. We run on time that is not ours, to a place not our own, but we have to succeed or risk everything. There is no going back. There is no. Going. Back.

iii. [the beach] we'll cry later or cry now / you know it's heartbreak

[It's quiet here. He's sitting cross-legged in the sand as the sun sets, the movement of the waves creating a fine mist that extends up past where the waves reach. It's still winter-- still cold-- but he doesn't seem bothered, even if you might be able to see his breath as he exhales. His eyes aren't closed, but he's barely even blinking as he looks out into the expanse, sitting unnaturally still. It's almost as if he isn't even there, even with no one else around. A fitting place for him. A fitting end, perhaps.

But he doesn't seem to be dying, or leaving, just... existing. He won't say anything unless addressed, or you come and sit next to him in the silence, where eventually he'll break it.]

Do you need something? From me.

iv. [wildcard] we could dance our tears away, emancipate ourselves

[Want something else with Martin on this? Hit me up via DM, Discord, or Plurk at cancerously and we can get plotting!]

Comments

[ruevealing]

Kidnapped?!

[Against his shoulder, Rue's touch tightens, worry clouding their expression.]

When did you last see him? We must go looking! Hob - if you have something of Jon's, Hob may be able to track him down.

[lowficharm]

It-- it might be, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time--

[Wait, something of his, how--]

If you need clothing or, o-or something, I mean it's-- yeah, all his stuff's still here. That's why I thought it wasn't like a trip or, or something, and he didn't even leave a note and if he just wandered off I am going to give him SUCH a talk I SWEAR.

[Did he breathe? Prrrrobably not! He's having one part panic attack one part pissed off attack, so emotions are Hard.]

[ruevealing]

[okay. of course finding John is going to be the absolute priority over the next few hours, but first, Rue thinks, they need to tend to dear Martin before he works himself into a total panic attack.

It's almost graceful how Rue immediately manages to slip a wing around the man's shoulder, turning him on the spot, gently walking with him back to Rue's own apartment.]

Breathe, my friend. Please. Inhale deeply.

[lowficharm]

[Rue, you're very nice to assume Martin has been thinking about himself literally at all, or has the capacity to do so. He still tries to follow directions, taking the most raggedy inhale ever done, but at least he's got some air in there.]

I know this can be like him, I mean, he's run off to do really stupid things before and I know that about him, but he should-- he should have told me! If that was the case! I mean I'm not crazy, right, this isn't normal, or at least it shouldn't be! Augh!

[He's shaking a little, albeit from strong emotion or lack of air it's hard to say.]

[ruevealing]

You are not wrong, Martin. He should have told you, I most ardently agree.

[Look, that is why Rue is here. Once inside, they gently push the man into a plush armchair and drop a blanket around his shoulders, without missing a single beat of the conversation.]

But if what you say is true and this behavior is common for him, then perhaps we have nothing to worry about at all. We will find him and you can delicately remind Jon that running off without informing you was very stupid indeed. But for now, please, you must focus on your breathing.

[lowficharm]

[He just sort of lets himself be moved; there's very few people who have ever treated him so gently, not even his mother having the desire or care to comfort him since he was a baby. These are pleasantries he gives to other people, and while all of Jon's gestures mean everything to him, he's not here to do them. There will be no comfort from the touch of his hand, the head on his shoulder.

Martin huffs just a little bit though, because he can't really argue for any good reason to those words but he wants to desperately.]

I'm just worried, I mean, what if we leave him too long and something happens, or it is just, you know, nothing and I'm being totally crazy! Do you think he'll think I'm too, I don't know, obsessive of his time, or-- or something??

[Says the man who knows he's codependent and they have admitted this to each other and agreed it was not going to stop. Foolish. At least he now attempts to breathe again.]

[ruevealing]

Martin.

[And here, Rue's usually gentle, soft voice takes on a new strength, wielding all of the authority of their former title, commanding the man's full attention straight to them.

Standing in front of him, their large, dark, impossibly deep eyes do not blink.]

Breathe. [And then more gently, but still with authority clinging to every word.] Inhale, through your nose, deep and slow. [Their paw finds his hand, squeezing it.] I shall do it with you.

[lowficharm]

[Martin wants to falter, but can't under their gaze. He opens his mouth to speak, and then just closes it with a sigh.]

Okay, I-- okay.

[And does what he's ordered, a breath in though his nose, a hold, and an exhale. It shakes while he goes, but it's breath at least.]

[ruevealing]

[And as promised, Rue breathes in and out with him, squeezing his hand the whole time, grounding the man to them with that touch.

And finally, once he has finished his exhale, Rue speaks again.]

Thank you, Martin. Now, let us make a plan of attack. Who are those that Jon spends the most time with? I can make calls, while you find something of his that Hob can take to go search for him with.

[lowficharm]

[Thank goodness for Rue having a level head about this. Someone has to, and usually it's Martin, but at this point he's at his wits end.

He tries to continue to breathe while they speak, process the information, respond with a little laugh.]

I mean-- me, really. He doesn't have a lot of friends.

[Okay, names, there has to be some names.]

I, he, he spends most of his time in research. Anyone there regularly would know him.

[ruevealing]

[Rue can understand that. Hob, as jovial and good-natured as he is, has never been as social as Rue is. He is happy enough with his companionship with them, anyone else he has to work a bit harder to connect with.]

Then I will call everyone in research and see when they last saw him. Please, go find something of his and I will return to you in fifteen or so minutes. I will work fast, I promise.

[lowficharm]

[Hobb is at least nice and jovial. Jon is a jerk on a good day, but Martin understands him. Thank goodness Rue takes that at face value without asking further questions.]

Okay, I-- okay. I'll go find something. Does it need to be, uhm... I dunno, especially smelly...?

[Should he go rifling through the hamper or--]

[ruevealing]

[Honestly, not a bad question to ask.]

I imagine the smellier the better. It can only help.

we can probably call this wrapped if you want LMAO

[lowficharm]

Well, it-- okay. I'll be back?

[At least this is something else to think about, some kind of hope. It's good. It's... something.]