apocalypsehowcomm | Event - Circus, Circus

Event - Circus, Circus

Circus, Circus

➥ By the Pricking of My Thumb

(cw: wax, potential compulsion and fighting)

The train pulls into the railyard at noon under a bright blue sky. The engine is a bright red with orange and yellow flames painted along the sides. The first carriage after that is pitch black with similar flames and a logo for the Fenix Down Extravaganza. It's a stylized red phoenix head in a circle of orange and yellow, the name of the circus painted across the top and bottom, mirroring the curve of the circle. A line of carriages stretch out after that, painted all different colors, but each maintaining the motif of flames down the sides and each bearing the company logo.

Excitement comes to the railyard. The circus is in town for a one-week stint before they continue their journey north. People in colorful costumes--clowns, 'fire fairies' covered in drips of candle wax, and those in animal masks--paper the town with advertisements. You might even find yourself conscripted to help with putting up the fliers and posters if you look idle. A stack of posters is placed in your hands. A $100 bill set atop seems to be your incentives to do something more than just toss them in the bin. There's a frantic energy both about the performers and the people in town. You might even find yourself strangely caught up in it. You want to help spread the word, to ensure the posters reach every part of town. Everyone else who's been conscripted, as well? You can do it better, faster. You need to be faster. You need to claim the space for your own before it's lost to someone else.

There hasn't been a circus come to Gloucester in decades, and it's the Fenix Down Extravaganza! They're renowned for their pyrotechnics and laser lights shows. Surely the enthusiasm for all that is just… catching.

The tents and booths are set up in vacant fields to the west of town, and there's one curious addition, as well. There's a railroad car that's been seemingly pulled away from the railyard somehow. No one sees it being moved, but it's out in the vacant field, and some might recognize it as the old, dilapidated thing that had been hidden in the railyard, the charred husk filled with old posters. It looms, in the field, almost seeming to smoke where it sits. It's quickly cleaned and restored over the course of the day the circus is setting up, though, and it seems to have been turned into the ticket booth for the front of the circus, complete with a new bright red paint job.

➥ Something Wicked This Way Comes

(cw: large-scale vehicular collision, industrial disaster, fire, harm to animals)

It's not a single person who can claim credit for the find, but many people all together. Hours have been poured into researching the mysterious midnight train crash that had rocked people from their beds almost a week ago. Finally, something is found. Stitched together from local newspaper clippings from around Cape Ann, a story emerges, identifying a derailment in the city of Gloucester back in 1921. More than a dozen workers had died in the railyard and there were fires beyond that in the town. The train itself had had only a few people aboard, performers for the Smoke and Mirrors Acting Troupe, along with animals used in their performances. The stories seem to be tucked away a few pages from the front of the newspapers, which are dominated by stories about skyrocketing unemployment following the Great War and the return home for the troops.

All of the stories seem to end with the same sentiment: It could have been so much worse. If the train had derailed further north in one of the more populated cities, where it had been scheduled to arrive the next morning after the crash? It could have been hundreds, maybe even thousands dead.

The information, whomever has found it, is enough. ADI calls a staff meeting. Ghostly circus train derailments just before another circus rolls into town? That's not a coincidence. Everyone who's willing is purchased a ticket for entrance to the Fenix Down Extravaganza, and every person is assigned a partner to join them. Don't lose track. There will be no kidnappings this time. ADI is determined to keep their people as safe as they can be while investigating. Maybe have a chat with your new companion(s).

Those who misbehaved during the last event's Sticky Wicket prompt and were caught with either an opened box or found to have injuries related to the artifacts inside the boxes will be assigned an additional person to their group. A mentor to keep them on the right track this time. And also to narc on them if they mess up again. Better behave, partner.

➥ Send In the Clowns

(cw: reference to cannibalism, fire, pain, mild body horror)

There's a light and excited atmosphere about the circus once a body makes it through the long queue out front. The sweet and sticky scent of fried and sugary foods permeates the air along with barbecues and the ever-present smell of ash. Fire would seem to be the main attraction for the Fenix Down Extravaganza. Fire dancers, fire jugglers, people swallowing fiery swords, and walking over beds of hot coals. There are sideshow attractions and games to see before heading into the big top. Notably, there are no animals or signs of animals at the circus save for a small contingent of goats that are set up as a petting zoo, and a sideshow with a reptile exhibit along with a 'snakeman.' Otherwise known as a performer decorated with shiny sticker scales who provides interesting 'snake facts' to anyone who happens by.

The Food
The food is typical carnival garbage. A little overpriced, but still decent and provided in excess of what people should reasonably eat in one sitting, especially for things like the cotton candy and funnel cake. There is some decent grilled food available, and those who go snooping will find that the food prep within each of the little booths is acceptable for what it all seems to be. There is one booth characters might notice that has 'long-pig' on the menu. Or does it? Check again, and it's not there. It seems to be selling hotdogs, though. Just ordinary hotdogs. Care to bite into one?

The Games
Your standard rigged carnival games: the ring toss, the ladder climb, the baseball and milk jugs. Spend more money for bigger prizes! But you're risking losing it all, as well. There are a few unique games, as well, though. One is called 'The Floor Is Lava,' and participants must make their way around a strange obstacle course that's up on balance beams. If you slip and go down, it's just grass of course. But for a moment, for a split second, you can feel the heat and agony as the lava engulfs your body. You're fine, though, of course! It's just a game, after all. Even if you might feel a bit… singed after that. Another game someone might find tucked away in an obscure corner is 'Liar, Liar,' which involves throwing beanbags at targets. Each target lights a match that helps to burn a string leading toward a cartoonish figure in polka dot boxers. The goal is to get the fire to touch the boxers before a timer runs out. When the fire hits the boxers, there's an uncomfortably realistic shriek. But it's probably fine.

The Sideshows and Exhibits
Fire is the overriding theme at the side shows with fire dancers and jugglers being the most prominent amongst the tents. Attendants for the tents all wear full (and varied) animal heads obscuring their faces; though, if someone is rude enough to rip off their masks, they'll just find disgruntled employees who would like that back now. The more notable sideshow acts include:

The Twisted Twisters - A pair of contortionists who maneuver bowls filled with flames while they shift around. They're very affable, joking with each other as they work.
Flammie the Magnificent - A magician who's open about his use of smoke and mirrors, as well as making objects appear in a burst of flame. He's a purposefully goofy magician aimed at younger kids.
Asbestos Mike - A man who juggles burning coals. His hands are… unfortunate to look at. But he doesn't seem to mind and claims to have no working nerve endings. He's extremely calm about… everything.

➥ Lost & Found

(cw: child endangerment/distressed parent with missing child, disorientation, hallucination)

And then, of course, there are the 'experiences.' They're not rides per se. Those are hard to pack up on a train, but they're exhibits to pass through with a particular theme toward interaction or ogling. There's a small wax museum with decently-crafted models of a few famous individuals. And then there's the Fun House. It's a mirror maze inside that seems to stretch on far larger than the small space it's set up in should allow. For those who make it to the center of the maze, they'll find a dark room with a single mirror in it. This, unlike the rest of the mirrors in the Fun House, isn't one that distorts your form. It's simply a standard mirror. There's also a corridor of mirror beyond it that leads to a quick escape from the Fun House for those lucky winners who make it there.

Said 'winners' will find that everything seems to be perfectly normal when they step out onto the bustling circus grounds. But is that- Ah, that's someone they wanted to talk to. Or maybe it's someone who looks suspicious. Just someone they want to follow. There is a figure and it's someone they want to follow. If they do so, they'll quickly lose said figure in the crowd, only to spot them a ways on a few moments later. Pursuing this figure will result in the winner being run around the circus grounds, never quite able to catch up. If they stop their pursuit, they will find themselves somewhere that they have not seen before. There may be a sense of disorientation as they try to get their bearings.

For those who don't enter the Fun House or come out as winners, they might notice someone--a parent--frantically looking about some other time. The parent comes up to them, asks if they've seen their child, before hurrying off to try to find an employee for help. Their little one was just there. They just came out of the Fun House and now… now they can't find their child! Employees will be only too happy to help, but non-employees might be quicker on the draw to locate the missing child. They're always found in a random place, seemingly unharmed but confused and frightened as they search for their parent, claiming they saw said parent going just over there, or over here. Still, you've reunited a family! No harm, no foul, right? Kids go wandering all the time. Parents really ought to keep a closer watch.

➥ The Ringmaster

(cw: fire, pain, immolation, screaming)

"Please be advised the following show contains flashing lights, sudden loud noises, and fire. Anyone who may have difficulty with these, please make your way to the exit. Our employees will provide refunds for anyone who may have challenges due to these effects." A full two minutes pass to allow those who need to leave time to do so. And then…

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and everyone in between, put your hands together for the one, the only, Fenix Down!" The words sound over the PA system in the tent just before roaring calliope music picks up and the man himself practically dances to the center of the ring in the main tent. Fenix is a remarkably short Caucasian man with dark hair, brown eyes, and a suit that looks like it's on fire, all orange, red, and yellow licks of color across the fabric. His bright yellow tophat features the company's phoenix logo on it, and he nearly loses the thing as he dashes around the ring, grinning like a madman and eliciting cheers from the audience as he raises his arms for them to shout.

"Are you ready, my friends, for the brightest, the grandest, the most extravagant show you have ever seen?" Thunderous cheers from the audience. "I am Fenix Down, and this is my extravaganza!"

The show plays out with two main acts with smaller ones in between. The main acts are introduced by Fenix in turn:

"Penny, the dancing flame!" is firedancer with an elaborate show involving a flaming whip and multiple other performers in horse heads acting as her 'animal companions' for the show.
"And Roderick, the man with laser hands!" is a young man in large, dark glasses who conducts a laser lights and pyrotechnics production from a DJ-style turntable as rock music plays and performers dance and tumble around the ring.

On the final night, there is a change to the performance, though. "And now, my friends, my dear friends, we have a special treat, a new main act to premier: Pyre, the burning man!" Those who are witness to this will see a young man enter the ring. He's sweating and a bit on the heavy side. He also looks… frightened. Frightened and exhilarated. He waves to the crowd as a circle of pipes is raised from a stage in the center of the ring. Pyre sets himself in the middle and lifts his hand. Liquid sprays from the pipes and for those who are close enough, they will likely recognize the scent of gasoline.

"I will be reborn and rise as the phoenix!" Pyre declares before striking a match. His whole body catches immediately in flames and there are horrified gasps and screams from the crowd. Those who might try to interfere are asked to hold on, hold on, just wait by employees. There's nothing to do for young Pyre, anyway. The flames burn rapidly until he collapses on the stage. Fenix makes the first subtle movement he has ever made for anyone who has watched his other performances. A small snap of his fingers, half-covered by one hand. The fire snuffs itself out immediately.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, I know that seems frightening, but just watch," Fenix calls. "Like a phoenix, we rise!" As he says this, Pyre picks himself up. His clothes hang in a charred mess about his form, but his flesh… it seems to have knit itself back together. He is whole, and proceeds to give the audience a double-thumbs up. Relieved guests erupt in applause for this… very strange and rather harrowing final act.

After each performance for the night, the main acts and Fenix are available to take photos, sign autographs, and generally schmooze with the public for a little while. They each have a small tent so that you can have a moment of privacy with your favorite act, if you'd like. If anyone is looking for answers, particularly, these are the top of the hierarchy and might prove the most fruitful to speak to. They're also the only people in the circus that seem to have supernatural energy about them, for those who might have such senses to notice that.

➥ Mod Notes

GENERAL - Players are welcome to play NPCs for themselves when they are needed in a thread. If you need more information on general behavior for these types of NPCs, please feel free to ask! In general, the information provided in the prompt should be sufficient and you're welcome to make up any details beyond that for your specific scene. For this event, the only NPCs that should not be controlled by players for threading are: Fenix Down and the Main Acts in The Ringmaster prompt. These NPCs will be played by mods and available for interaction.
BY THE PRICKING OF MY THUMB (25-26 August) - Characters may accept fliers to put up a maximum of three times (that's $300). Not everyone will feel the compulsion to put up the fliers, but if you need incentive for your character to take action, they can do so. The fliers are ordinary adverts with dates, hours, location, and pricing for the circus. Characters can wander around some of the set-up for the circus, but they'll be shooed away if they linger too long with a request to leave for their safety. Circus personnel doing the set-up are not interested in talking. They'll ignore characters or threaten to call the police for harassment if characters persist in bothering them while they're trying to set things up. Those who attempt to mind-control the workers or otherwise compel them for information will quickly discover that these are genuinely just ordinary people who are doing all the set-up. And they would really like to do their job because they do not have enough time.
SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES (25-27 August) - Players are free to OOCly select their ADI-assigned partner. Those who misbehaved during the Sticky Wicket prompt (and there was evidence of that misbehavior) will find themselves saddled with a mentor, either as their partner or in addition to their partner. This mentor (if they're a PC) should be someone who DID behave in that prompt or who has not made themselves a problem for ADI up to this point. Partners are not required to stick together or with their mentors for the duration of the event. This is just an opportunity to get some new CR (or strengthen existing CR)! And maybe butt heads while you slip away from each other while investigating. Mentors will be expected to be somewhat responsible for their charges, though, if you would like to play with that dynamic.
SEND IN THE CLOWNS (26 August - 2 September) - Regular employees and sideshow acts have no particular information to provide about anything sinister going on at the circus. As far as they know, the work is grueling sometimes given the quick set-up/break-down and schedule, but they're paid very well and even have benefits! They're pretty protective of their employer, as a result, and aren't going to willingly trash-talk him or the circus beyond some standard grumbling about the extra work going into this as Gloucester wasn't originally on their tour schedule.
LOST & FOUND (26 August - 2 September) - Employees will be generally helpful in these situations, using walkie-talkies to try to find missing children. They won't be fast, though. Parents will be uniformly distressed, then grateful to anyone who might assist in locating their children. Children will be wholly unharmed, wherever they are found, but frightened, confused and disoriented. Characters who end up as 'winners' in the Fun House will need several minutes to get their bearings back after following their hallucinations. If they try to return to the Fun House, they won't seem to be able to find the center of the maze anymore, and the mirror maze will appear to be wholly ordinary and the correct size for the space it's in.
THE RINGMASTER (26 August - 2 September) - Characters who would leap in to assist Pyre will be waylaid by staff just long enough for him to stir and complete his act to show that he is, indeed, alive and seemingly fine. Those who still try to interrupt will be escorted out by security. Characters will have the chance to speak to Fenix, Penny, Roderick, and Pyre during this prompt. The first four will be available for the full week the circus is in town. Pyre will be available the final night. Characters may interrogate one NPC each. Each NPC will have different information they may be able to provide.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ the fun house is a piece of cake. shiro has the cheats. just gotta keep the left hand to the wall and only turn that way; easy peasy. apologies to the clean-up crew who’ll be windexing long stretches of smudged mirror though. far too satisfied with his win and its special exit just for those victors, shiro steps back into the hustle an’ bustle of the circus grounds, mouth tilted on a full-blown smile.

alright. so next on the list: games? or perhaps he should find keith first. he knows he’s here; it’s just a question of whether or not he’s still being babysat. probably not, he thinks with some amusement.

though, on second thought, there is a third option: investigate. that’s what adi wants them to do, tch. he brushes the thought aside as he pulls out his phone, thumbing on the screen and tapping to open a textbox. he’s been here for two hours now and hasn’t seen anything other than friendly, accommodating workers and the typical, run-of-the-mill circus attractions. besides, he’s experienced enough shafting from adi that he thinks he’s earned at least a few hours of respite.

so -- keith? he’s only a few letters in when the screen -- blurs? no, his vision does. he blinks a few times and isn’t any better for it. so next, he clenches his eyes shut and lifts his head level, reopening his eyes almost immediately. he’s still only four or so yards from the exit of the fun house and yet, he feels misplaced. it looks different…? feels different. where was he going again?

it’s right then that his vision clears and he sees him, there, right there. ] Adam? [ or -- over there? ] Adam!

[ the horizon tilts and shiro stumbles right on that first step. the intended beeline for his target ends up more of a zig-zag as he tries to regain his bearings, so of course adam slips away into the crowd before shiro can ever reach him. after that, it becomes a mad dash. thankfully, the whirling of his senses seems to settle but even though he’s moving straighter, the surety of his strides is lacking and with him constantly scanning the crowd for one individual, he’s blind to everyone else.

sorry sir for barreling into you. sorry for knocking the popcorn out of your hands, ma’am.

every glimpse is just too short and every call goes unanswered and unacknowledged. he knows they parted on sour terms but why doesn’t he… why won’t he…

he ends up spotting another familiar face, one that thankfully stays put the closer he gets. ] Keith. [ agitated, confused, distressed -- shiro doesn’t have his usual attentiveness to maintain the facade of control. everything is plain to see and to hear in his voice. ]

Come on -- help me. [ perhaps what’s most telling is he skips any smile or proper hello, he merely grabs keith’s forearm as he breezes by, forcing him to match his quickened pace. ]

Adam’s here. We need to find him.

[ so keith's only just managed to escape the watchful eyes of his assigned "mentor" for the day and had been on his way to go find shiro when -- ah, yes. right on cue, shiro finds him instead, but everything is wrong. no greeting or any other pleasantry, just a tight grip on his forearm as he's spun on his heel and half dragged along. ]

Woah -- what? [ no seriously, what? it doesn't take a genius to register that shiro is seriously out of sorts here, borderline panicked and it takes keith an extra beat to register adam and connect that back to the present. he prises his arm free, not quite keeping pace as shiro clearly wants, but quickening his pace nonetheless. ]

Adam's here? [ after the debacle with the garrison, it's not a name that keith likes having brought up. the less he thinks about the guy, the better as far as keith's concerned. but he starts looking around at the thick crowd of people, looking for a sign of that familiar face that always looked like it was a nanosecond away from delivering a patronizing lecture. ] Where? [ a beat. ] And why's he running away?

[ shiro doesn’t react to keith pulling his arm free. the only indication is a shortened step as his body acclimates to the tug of his weight, but then his hand is free and he falls right back into those quickened strides. he still doesn’t look to keith, even as three questions are asked in rapid fashion. he’s, as he has been, caught up in scanning the crowds. being a good head taller than the majority of people filling the walkways and meandering by exhibits, shiro at least has a hefty advantage in doing just that.

not that it produces any results, something that has frustration seeping into his voice. ]

I don’t know. [ to both of those last questions. probably didn’t see him? probably didn’t hear him either over the constant sound of attractions, as well as hundreds of conversations happening all at once. ]

But we need to find him. If he’s just arrived, he probably doesn’t know what’s -- [ happening. adam doesn’t have the experience with the abnormal and unpredictable like they do. their past relationship may be laden with bitterness, but shiro still cares enough to want to ensure adam’s safety. shiro never says any of this though. nah. he abruptly cuts off and hesitates in taking his next step, voice swelling high. ]

There he is! By the lemonade stand. [ in line. right there. see him, keith? ] Adam! [ and right back to his speed-walk, beelining it for the lemonade stand. except there is no line and the few clusters of people standing nearby very clearly do not have an adam among them. well, clearly to anyone not named shiro. ]

[ shiro doesn't show any signs of slowing down and keith... well, keith doesn't show any signs of speeding up.

the last time keith and adam had talked, it wasn't so much talking as it was lashing out in a sudden fit of scandalized outrage. a solid punch across the jaw had left adam staggering, the glasses knocked clean off his face. the conversation after adam had pulled out a second pair of identical glasses from his heavy book bag had been sub-arctic and terse. the next time they were in the same room, it was at the disciplinary hearing. keith doesn't know what adam had looked like that day, having stubbornly refused to even look in his direction. it'd been used against him, of course. iverson and the rest of them had wanted an excuse to boot him the garrison for years and they'd flocked to his like vultures on carrion.

total lack of remorse. nothing but contempt for ranked officers. the judgment and accusation came down hard and fast -- an open and shut case, as one c.o. would put it. maybe keith should have found it in him to apologize, but when the topic of shiro's recommendation had come up and someone had very blithely commented another instance of pilot error and adam had once again chosen to fucking say nothing, the truth just became plain and simple. keith wasn't sorry at all.

time and distance has insulated keith from having to think about it again. is he sorry now? he doesn't know -- not really, and subconsciously he starts to fall behind, one stride, then two. why is he even here? he should just let shiro and adam enjoy their reunion without spoiling it with his mere existence.

keith bites his lip, selfish in half hoping that shiro has made a mistake. pretty unlikely though, with the way shiro makes a beeline to the lemonade stand. taking a deep breath, keith braces himself and looks up. there is, of course, no adam where shiro is headed. worse? there's nobody there that could even be mistaken for adam.

it's... odd, really. should he be relieved? well whatever the case, now keith is four -- five strides behind and isn't quick enough to pull shiro back before shiro approaches in the queue. ]

Shiro, wai! He's not -- [ keith starts to jog afterwards, only narrowly dodging some kid who chooses that moment to play a spontaneous game of hopscotch. after exchanging dirty looks with the parents, keith finally catches up. hopefully in time to keep shiro from engaging with whoever he thinks is adam. ]

[ shiro makes the mistake of taking his eyes off adam. keith shouts for him but it’s not the plea to wait that has him looking back. it’s the fact that keith doesn’t finish it. even disorientated, curiosity piques and concern sweeps in, enough to override his current pursuit and have him throwing a reflexive glance over his shoulder. he pauses on the next step and furrows his brow.

keith having trouble with a small child, alright. is shiro going to help? nope.

frankly unfair of him, seeing as he commandeered keith’s assistance in the first place. and will continue to do so, because when shiro turns his attention forward, he’s down an ex-fiance. he abruptly stops and blinks hard, before giving up the shock to, once again, throw around some frantic glances. no half-frame, cat eye glasses in sight. no heavy bookbag slung on a shoulder. no adam. ]

Adam? [ a couple at the back of the queue glance his way, not that he cares or even notices. he turns this way, then that, even about turning, even though it’s impossible for adam to have slipped behind him. ]

Where did he go? He was just here. [ he’s once again facing the lemonade stand, glancing and reglancing over the clusters of people nearby. ]

[ keith catches up to shiro then, but it's another beat before he places a hand solidly on shiro's shoulder and grips it tight. now that keith's certain adam isn't actually here, the discomfort surrounding the thought of a reunion lifts. in it's place though? a different kind of uncertainty. now that he's pretty sure that shiro must've gone inside the fun house, it really only begs the question of why shiro is seeing adam specifically.

at least when it came to him, the reason keith had seen his dad seemed.... depressingly self explanatory. looking at it now, he supposes shiro seeing adam is probably just as self explanatory, huh? some wounds just don't seem to heal all that neatly. giving shiro's shoulder a squeeze, keith's voice is soft. ]

Hey. I know you want to see him, but I don't think Adam's here. [ nudging shiro out of the queue for the lemonade, he walks them over towards a seating area with picnic tables. ] I', pretty sure the fun house mirrors put some kind of spell on people.

[ so shiro’s eyes are lying to him? hmph. he knows who he saw, keith. hot with indignation, he’s tempted to say as much and shrug off keith’s hand to continue the search alone. but keith tugs and shiro goes, because with his mind tied up with frantic energy, being led and having some sense of direction forced on him is surprisingly grounding. it has him docile for the first couple of steps and before he can rework himself up into needing to go, there’s mention of the fun house. ]

How did you… [ know he went into the fun house. he trails off instead though and heaves a sigh, suddenly exhausted. good thing keith has the forethought to pick out a picnic table, huh? shiro smiles brief and weak on that thought and then settles back into his confusion, frowning as he plops down on the bench seat.

some magical -- or cursed -- mirrors are hardly outside the realm of possibilities with all they’ve encountered in the past month and the fact that keith narrowed down shiro’s whereabouts to having been in the fun house only adds weight to the validity of it all. nonetheless, he has to ask: ]

What makes you think that?

[ oh good. so shiro is actually allowing himself to be redirected. not that keith's worried about causing a scene for a whole bunch of randos to watch, but any time a task is made easier is preferable. he sits on the picnic bench next to shiro looking a little relieved, though it's a little short lived with the follow up question. his own fun house experinece isn't something he'd intended on bringing up because it's a little raw and mortifying beyond that, but he supposes if anyone would understand not to pry or laugh, it'd be shiro. he takes a deep breath, taking his hadn off shiro's shoulder only after it becomes clear that there isn't a sudden risk of adam fever to start another spontaneous chase. ]

Because when I went in there before, I also saw someone afterwards. Someone who wasn't there. [ goes without saying for the context, but what's another bit of stalling? keith sighs and looks away for the briefest of moments. ] Spent a while running around all over the place cuz I thought I saw my dad. Kind of embarrassing, really.

[ embarrassing is the lightest way to put it, but there's just enough tension in keith's shoulders for shiro to discern that's really not the extent of it. either way, keith clears his throat. ]

...Anyway, I guess you must really want to see Adam, huh? He always was prepared for everything. What doesn't he carry in that heavy book bag, anyway? [ it's meant as a joke, but keith's tone falls a pinch flat. ] Sorry.

Edited 2021-09-04 05:58 (UTC)

[ he should have guessed that. not who keith saw but that he must’ve gone through the experience himself to be so certain. obviously, keith’s father is a sore subject. they rarely talk about him. funny then, that this is the second time in a couple of weeks. shiro’s still a bit scatterbrained and unfocused as the urge to look out and elsewhere continues to nag at him, but he does know he doesn’t like the way keith is holding himself, as if bracing for something. shiro’s trying to formulate a response, however, he misses his cue by a beat and keith brushes it off.

he probably doesn’t want to talk about it anyway, huh?

the apology has shiro’s frown pinching deeper. it only piles onto the awkwardness surrounding this whole situation. keith said his own experience was embarrassing, like he was ashamed to be caught chasing after his dead father. at least that hallucination made sense, albeit it being rather cruel. shiro on the other hand -- seeing an ex-fiancé who hasn’t been a part of his life for over two years? that’s not only embarrassing, it’s pathetic.

but shiro tries not to get tripped up on his own judgment. instead, he tips his weight and bumps his shoulder to keith’s. the smile he quirks is small. ]

You’re right. He was a planner. [ him and that bottomless pit of a bag. he lugged that thing around with him just about everywhere. suspicious really, that even with its standard size, adam really did seem to have everything in there that shiro asked for. hand sanitizer, one-two-three-endless pens, spare charger for his phone, ibuprofen, band-aids, water bottle, power bars, the list goes on. hell, the bag only fits three to five books, depending on the sizes, and yet, every time shiro asked for a certain text, adam had it. the thought has his smile growing for the briefest of moments, heart panging in a way he hasn’t allowed himself in the longest time but the upwelling of nostalgia eases off and then shiro sobers for: ]

I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you through your experience with the Fun House. Like you’re helping me.

[ wanting to disrupt the tension line of those shoulders further, shiro is now the one placing his hand there for a squeeze. holds for one, two beats and then lets go, hand flopping down into his own lap as he looks away. it’s a mistake. he immediately picks out adam’s face in the crowd, feet pressing firmer to the ground, as though about to push himself up and give chase. however, he catches himself, reminding himself that he’s not real, not real, not real.

he swallows and looks to the ground. ] I don’t know why I’m seeing him. [ because he misses him? some days, shiro can’t even verbalize the kinds of things that are in his head. a lot of his memories don’t feel like they’re his. so underneath all that -- does he miss adam? he frowns. ] I’ve barely given him any thought since I left but every time I look out, I can picture him perfectly.

[ gives up then and simply closes his eyes, hoping that will subside the constant desire to look up. ]

How long does it last?

[ keith smiles back at shiro, more reflexive than anything when there's a familiar grip and squeeze at his shoulder. listening to shiro speak fondly about adam shouldn't be so... awkward? conflicting? keith doesn't know what the right word for it is, but he shifts in his seat and still doesn't manage eye contact.

another sorry is on the tip of his tongue, but keith couldn't explain why or what the apology is even for at this point. would that be sorry i punched the guy? but the thought just grows corrosive in his mind the longer he holds onto it. no -- he's not sorry in the slightest about decking the guy that dumped shiro for pursuing his dreams and later tried to make keith give up on shiro too. if anything, it's easier to redirect a growing anger towards the fun house. for wasting everyone's time and filling shiro's head with trash. ]

Too long. [ which isn't an answer, but he'll substantiate a little more helpfully. ] I was running around for ... ten minutes or so? Might've lasted longer if I hadn't run into Jaeger.

[ but with that said, his tone softens slightly. ]

Just hang in there. I'll be here to talk you through it. Or pull you back so you don't go chasing strangers.

[ ten minutes. alright. if asked, shiro wouldn’t trust himself to estimate how long it’s been since he first imagined adam but whether he has one minute left or the full ten, he thinks he can manage. especially with keith so kindly offering to physically restrain him from making a fool of himself. eyes still closed and face still tipped toward the ground, it might be difficult for keith to see from the angle, but he’s smiling, his amusement subtle, yet genuine. ]

I can always count on you.

[ said lightly, but fully believed, shiro holds onto the sentiment and reminds himself that it’s just a few minutes. barely anything at all. his thoughts won’t quiet, however. even in knowing it’s a trick, there’s an itch at his nape and a buzzing in his head, both whittling at his restraint and driving him a little mad on the desire to open his eyes, look up and find the familiar face in the crowd. not there. is it strange that shiro is comforted to know it’s all a figment of his imagination? being under some sort of spell? curse? glossing over that at the moment, but just knowing that it’s a play on his perceptions and adam isn’t actually turning away from him and refusing to talk to him…? yes, there’s comfort in that.

because shiro knows what he looks like now. stress whitened hair, a scarred face, a bulky build of a brute and a metal hand that his long sleeve doesn’t fully cover -- he’s changed, and not for the better. he thought about that a few times. of how people back on earth would react to seeing him again. the garrison treated him like a threat. he wonders if adam would’ve seen him much the same.

his thoughts keep rounding right back to adam and the more he dwells on him, the more he feels inclined to stand. his feet kick against the ground again and he huffs, abruptly reaching to the side to grasp at the only thing tethering him to reality: keith. he snags the sleeve of that hideous jacket adi unfortunately managed to rid of kelpie blood, but blind in his grabbing, his fingers catch on the tear there. ridiculously, the simplicity of his surprise quiets the urge to find adam and he forgets about him almost entirely. he flutters his eyes open and tilts his face just barely, to eye the press of his index and middle fingers in the tear, now curling along the inside of his cuff.

he frowns, both curious and concerned. he doesn’t remember there being a slice from the kelpies. so… ]

What happened here?

[ so this is how the next ten minutes are meant to go, huh? shiro sitting there with his eyes closed while keith fishes for subject matter that isn't adam, depressing or the fear clowns. it'd be easier if he weren't feeling put on the spot, but in the end shiro does that all on his own with that grab maneuver.

keith blinks as shiro brushes his wrist. weird how he'd almost forgotten about the hungry hungry goats amidst all the fuckery going on at the circus. ]

Oh, uh. [ it's not even a secret, but keith gently tugs his arm away to get shiro to stop sticking fingers in holes. ]

The goats at the petting zoo. One of them took a bite out of my jacket while I wasn't paying attention. [ looking fown, he makes a face at the tear. ] Feels kinda weird thinking that a random goat did more damage to this than the kelpies.

[ one day, keith may feel differently about shiro sticking his fingers in holes but for now, he pulls away and shiro sits up further. the concern pulling at his expression fades moment by moment until keith’s explanation falls quiet and then, shiro has a different problem on his hands: trying not to laugh.

first off, that jacket is a hideous offense to fashion everywhere. it’s no wonder keith found it in the discount section of an already discounted store. so the fact that it’s partially ruined and ( hopefully ) on its way to the trash chute once they get to headquarters doesn’t bother shiro in the least. second, the mental image of one battle-hardened paladin surrounded by chubby goats, bleating and chewing at his clothes…

kind of cute.

he feels more relaxed, not that he even consciously acknowledges it. the urge to look away has quieted down and for now, shiro only sees keith as he quirks a crooked, amused smile. ]

Bested by a goat. [ wow. he snickers, actually snickers, smile growing. ] That’s embarrassing.

I wasn't!

[ WOW. way to get keith to huff right away. as he folds his arms, he tucks the arm with the torn sleeve under the other so that it's well hidden from view, hmph. sure, all things considered a snickering and distracted shiro is better than one looking around like a meerkat for an ex-fiance, but does it have to come at keith's expense like this.... ]

The goats were just ... cute, okay.

[ how on earth is that supposed to be a rebuttal? god knows, but keith delivers it like it's the closing statement in court. he rests his case, your honor. he hunches slightly in his seat, grumbling. ]

They don't deserve to be stuck here with bunch of fear feeding clowns anyway.

[ cute, yes okay. legitimate reason to allow one’s jacket to be desecrated. the tease doesn’t come, however. shiro decides to play nice and not push keith to fold even deeper into himself, meaning he merely smiles and gives a small shake of his head. moving on. partly, at least.

another opportunity to tease arises and briefly, shiro thinks of how these goats are, apparently, in need of rescuing. the problem with suggesting that, even in jest, is that there is the tiniest risk that keith may very well fire back with a let’s go. part of shiro wants to meet this jacket eating goat, true, but not if the visit ends with a stampede or one of them trying to hide a fucking goat inside a jacket. he has a feeling adi would not approve.

so he’ll go the safer route: ] Who knows, maybe the clowns treat the goats really well. [ keith said they were cute. even fear feeding clowns have to have limits.

he taps his fingers over his thigh, index and middle drumming one after the other. a little more seriously now: ] How has the investigating been going anyway? See anything strange? [ a beat and still, he doesn’t look out toward the people continuously walking by. ] Other than the Fun House, I mean.

[ .... huh. so there isn't any teasing about the goats incoming. that actually gets keith to unscrunch himself and sit up a little straighter. more than likely, having a head full of ex-fianné isn't conducive to a jokey mood, but it throws keith off just enough to make him blink in surprise as he unfolds his arms. ]

Uh well.... ] right. the investigation. no need to tell shiro about the diversion involving goat-napping then because that's not investigative work, nope. keith rubs lightly at the back of his head. ]

I guess I learned what long pig is? And that some of the games are messed up? And then there was obviously the whole deal with the fun house.

[ immediately after he's said it, keith trails off into a silence -- way to bring up an agitant that shiro already knows about. his hand comes away from the back of his head, shoulders rounding as he shoots shiro an apologetic look. ] ... which you just said other than.

[ shiro's eyes may be on him, but keith turns his attention briefly to the crowds around them. ]

Ticket booth is the same traincar that showed up in the weird phantom fire incident. [ a beat as he looks at a father passing by with his son seated on his shoulders. ] ....I don't know. Seems safe to conclude these guys are definitely tied to the thing ADI keeps calling The Desolation, but I don't know what they intend to do with that information.

[ … what’s a long pig? is that an animal? an attraction? a dish? he puts a pin in the mystery for now as keith continues on, listening to the list of other abnormalities…? do messed up games count? what does he even mean by messed up? aren’t carnie games notorious for being rigged in favor of the house? so if this is simply a projection of keith’s competitiveness… -- shiro should give keith’s investigation skills more credit than that though. set on allowing keith more leeway, the repetition of the fun house and keith’s apologetic look get nothing other than a briefly offered smile. it’s fine.

keith looks to the crowd next and without even thinking about it, shiro instinctively follows the motion to turn his own gaze outward. he nods and then ruefully: ]

Yeah. And with how transparent they’ve been, I doubt they’ll clue us in either. [ funny, a month ago when he was a fresh face on the scene, he was more onboard with working with adi. he knew less about the organization and yet, trusted them more than he does now. a series of unfortunate events with hardly any recourse or explanation have a way of dwindling the faith. even so, that sourness doesn’t prevail into any unexpected decision, like leaving or working in their own interests. no. of course shiro sticks to the original plan. ]

But as of now, that’s all we can do. Gather information and bring it back to ADI.

[ and hope that as they build up a reputation of dependability, adi will include them in discussions involving more classified information. he frowns, not wholly convinced that even he likes that idea. honestly, he’s not thrilled with the idea of relaying his experience with the fun house and subsequently, the embarrassment of his hallucination.

though, speaking of which… ]

Oh. Hold on -- hey. [ the realization dawns on him suddenly and he forgets himself in the moment, completely abandoning thoughts of adi and their duties as he starts swiveling his gaze this way and that. he’s clearly searching the crowd, but this time, there’s no risk of him scrambling to his feet in a panic. ]

I think it’s over. [ good. though, almost as soon as he thinks it, he feels a small, barely there pang of regret. the smile that comes to him is -- bittersweet. ] I don’t see him anymore.

[ keith's brow furrows a little further. looks like neither of them are pleased with the whole adi situation, huh? not a hard inference to draw, or an unexpected outcome considering the number of times they've been sent out on "investigations" that have taken a nasty turn. keith has mmore he could say about adi -- a lot more, really. butt in the next moment, shiro's switched the topic and this one has more immediate relevance. reflexively, keith also turns and looks and it's only a tick later that he catches himself. ]

Yeah? [ please ignore the way he's gone a pinch sheepish there. he hadn't been able to see adam from the start and all. ] That's grea-- oh.

[ shiro's got a wistful air about him and of course keith's gone and shove his foot in his mouth. he trails off into silence. it takes every fiber of control in his body not to facepalm here, but he manages it after worrying the inside of his lip. ]

....I'm sorry. Do you wish he was here?

[ that’s a loaded question. shiro isn’t sure of the answer. he’s been out of sync with his life since that galra cruiser came into view back on kerberos. from an alien prison cell to a castleship to another reality entirely, shiro craves anything that will tether him back to the confident, unbroken thing he was before. shiro claims he’s holding on so tight to keith because they’re a team and they have the best chance of surviving the threat of this reality if they keep each other close. all true, but there’s more to it than that. it started with voltron. lance, hunk, pidge -- they have their own, minimal way of connecting him back to the garrison but they didn’t know him. not the real him. keith does. did? and there in the castleship, feeling so far from home and out of sorts in both his body and mind, he mentally clung to the constant of keith, his best friend and confidant, for some sense of stability.

the right hand of voltron, heh, fitting, because he’s definitely that for shiro.

so part of him wonders if adam would bolster the same feeling. sure, things were a ruin in the end, with the distance too great for them to bridge beyond the necessary cordialness required of two people working within the same circle but there are happy memories to be found there. memories of the real takashi shirogane, untouched by imprisonment and war. maybe shiro would feel more like himself if adam was here to tsk and remind him to take care of himself.

fuck, what a selfish reason to want someone to be dragged into this mess.

that’s the truth of it though. shiro doesn’t miss adam and he doesn’t regret the break-up or the sudden gap it left in his life those few months before launch day. shiro simply misses feeling whole. but collecting reminders and people from his days as golden boy are never going to be enough to accomplish that.

will he tell keith even the bare minimum of how he truly feels? no. the moment is heavy and strained as it is, and as always, shiro doesn’t want to talk about the burdens of his life. so he deflects. still staring into the crowd, he lets his mouth tug hard to one side on a lopsided smile, none of that supposed amusement reaching his eyes. ]

No. [ at least he sounds sure in that one word. the rest? comes out flippant, clearly playing up a joke. ] He’d hate it here for one. The whole 2021 east coast living while preventing an apocalypse thing -- heh, it would not go over well. He needs structure and routine, something he can depend on.

[ amazing then, that he stuck it out so long with shiro and his chaotic health. though, maybe there's something to that. adam could depend on the progression of the disease and the gradual decline of shiro’s body. he simply couldn’t depend on shiro’s reaction to it. he blows out a breath on the thought and then pitches his weight back, reclining his back to the picnic table, elbows resting along the edge.

he tilts a look keith’s way and again, forces the joke. ]

And two… things are scary enough as they are without my ex following me around.

...

[ for all that shiro's adopted a more flippant tone, keith's known shiro long enough to be able to tell when his best friend is actually amused. this time? he thinks shiro's missed the mark by a degree or two. sore subject? maybe.

but keith lets shiro distract him a little by briefly trying to picture adam's life in gloucester. it doesn't take a genius to know adam wouldn't exactly be thriving with fear eating clowns or naked horse monsters or wormhole concealing playgrounds. hell, the garrison's whole existence revolves around training hard enough that 90% of the variance that could possibly happen on a given mission is something that has at least the foundations of a protocol drilled into everyone's heads. here, there's none of that. adi didn't even bother projecting the image of preparedness. what had their instructions been both times they went to dogtown on a mission? go look for evidence of the supernatural? despite himself, keith scoffs. but for all that adam would especially hate being here taking orders from reyes and the others, it's not like either he or shiro are faring that much better.

or maybe shiro is. there've been at least a few nights where the feeling of being watched was so severe that keith has had to give up sleeping on the bed entirely and make a fort for himself out of spare sheets and bedding in the corner. not the point though. keith clears his throat, not quite managing eye contact or a smile as he tries to keepthe conversation on "safe" topics. ]

Are exes really that scary? [ the question is meant to match the flippant tone, but there's something too earnest in keith's voice. like he is genuinely curious as to what adam's placement on horrors would be with kelpies and possible live sacrifices is. what he doesn't say is that he rather thinks adam should be more afraid of shiro than the other way around. ]

[ shiro catches the inside of his cheek between his molars, biting that fatty tissue to muffle the urge to sigh through a fresh wave of exasperation. way to call him out on his joke, keith, and tether them deeper into a conversation shiro was trying to get them out of. the exasperation is short-lived, thankfully; just a slight spiking and a steadying breath later, and then he tempers the mood, quirking a half grin for keith’s benefit. ]

No, not scary. [ he glances forward, back still resting comfortably to the table. ] Awkward, I guess.

[ the sample size shiro is drawing conclusions from comes out to the grand total of one. anyone before adam didn’t fall into the category of boyfriend, though, trysts of that nature have their own potential for awkwardness. depends on the person, depends on the expectation, depends on the situation, depends on… a lot of things, honestly. shiro’s done a decent enough job of keeping his social life from seeping into his career; adam was just about the only outlier from the bunch. an ex-fiance of the same rank, in the same employ -- in hindsight, it probably wasn’t the greatest idea to entangle with someone he had to see almost daily, in some capacity.

oh well, four months later he was in space, then abducted, then recruited for a war, and now, in a time rift. guess that’s one upside to this.

faintly amused at the dark humor of his thoughts, he exhales slow on a sigh and kicks his legs out further, crossing them at the ankles. ]

I’d feel responsible for him if he were here, you know? [ and that in itself is an awkward place to be. on some level, he feels responsible for the ragtag bunch of forced adi agents, only in that they are supposedly a team. with adam it would be complicated. collaborating with him, checking in with him, providing his time, his attention, his care… he doesn’t want to revisit any of that now that he's two-something years down the line of that clean break. ] But that isn’t my role to fill anymore. I don’t want to look after him and I don’t want him looking after me.

[ he didn't feel responsible for you is the bitter response that catches on keith's tongue. he just barely manages to keep himself from saying it, but it's all but spelt out in the briefly sour look that crosses his face. it isn't exactly the fairest framing of how adam had felt maybe, but it was unquestionably the functional outcome. adam wasn't the one insisting there must've been a mistake. of course not. he was the one getting all the sympathy for having told shiro not to go and look how tragically this all turned out while keith was the one routinely being told to stop being delusional.

keith doesn't breathe a word of it. what good is arguing about adam when shiro clearly feel some residual need to defend him? and how is keith's lingering resentment of the garrison even shiro's problem? for as much as keith had garnered some reputation for picking fights, that's not the truth of it. it's more that when keith is provoked sufficiently, he doesn't de-escalate. in this case, this is a pointless debate that they can both do without. he reaches over to give shiro's shoulder a light pat. ]

I don't think he'd want that either.

[ it's only after keith's said it that it occurs to him that maybe this isn't exactly the most comforting thing to hear, but... it's hardly a secret, is it? if adam had actually wanted to look after shiro, they would likely still be together and all. after a beat, keith takes his hand off the shoulder and re-folds his arms. ]

Wonder if the Garrison even bothered telling people back home you're alive and owned up lying.

[ again, bitterly, keith thinks probably not. ]

[ no, probably not, shiro thinks with misplaced humor. adam made it pretty clear he was tired of looking after shiro more than shiro was doing for himself. why would this new reality be any different? according to keith, shiro’s already been selfish and short-sighted with his own well-being. some things never change, huh? shiro, always so careful and diligent in protecting others, but entirely too generous in accepting risk when it comes to himself. a thought comes to him then and he wonders, will there be a moment when keith draws a line in the sand and says he can’t take it anymore? someday, will caring about shiro become a burden, just like it did with adam?

not the same, he tells himself, and then nudges the questions aside. completely different people, different situations and different relationships; stupid, that’s what he is for even entertaining such thoughts. the easing of pressure off his shoulder helps drag him back to the present and he glances over at keith, staring throughout the comment and then, heaving a humorless laugh. ]

Unlikely.

[ and perhaps it’s for the best anyway. reappear only to go missing hours later; not that there is anyone waiting for him on ( their ) earth, but he supposes it would be jarring to the few acquaintances or fans he has. the only thing he’s hoping for? is that the garrison personnel heeded his panicked warnings and are doing something, anything to ramp up their ability to defend earth. ]

Probably too busy covering up the Blue Lion’s existence and explaining away the disappearances of three cadets.

[ neither of them have much faith in galaxy garrison anymore, do they? it shouldn’t, but the thought has him smiling. he allows it for himself, this heartache of betrayal and disappointment, and then he shakes it off. ]

But hey. I don’t think either of us want to be thinking about the Garrison right now. [ or ever. they both got pretty burned. so, with a much needed diversion in mind, shiro heaves himself out of his seat and up to his feet. runs his palm over the closely shorn hair at the back of his head and then tosses a glance down at keith. ]

How about we go investigate some games?

[ keith's scowl deepens with that thought. sure fits the garrison modus operandi alright. lying, covering up the existence of world changing phenomena. frankly, it's the commonality that adi shares with the garrison that'd originally landed adi on keith's ever expanding shitlist.

that said? shiro's correct about his other assumption. thinking about the garrison and the lives they used to have there aren't what they ought to be doing. keith holds onto his one kernel of anger and then puts it away, getting up to his feet. ]

Okay. No more talking about people who don't deserve the time of day. [ adam included. he brushes off his hands and pants then adds: ] There have to be at least a few games around that are less rugged than the others.

[ thigh maybe that's optimistic, who knows. ]

Maybe one of the shooting games? Or that high striker game? [ he laughs, stretching his arms high as he starts to walk. ] Bet that one is nice and easy for you.

[ funny, how it’s that easy. eight steps away from the picnic table and shiro already feels better. more relaxed, more sure of himself -- it’s silly perhaps, only in that so much of this circus is questionable and holds all the potential to go wrong at any given moment. but right here, right now, he lets himself be unconcerned, instead finding comfort in keith’s chatter.

shiro peeks at him with a corner gaze and smiles to his laugh, looking forward again with a shake of his head. ]

Not high striker. [ a beat and a crunch, his foot coming down on a half-eaten bag of popcorn. wrinkles his nose but keeps right on walking. ] Already beat it. [ naturally. there’s a ring toss game to the left, but shiro’s stride doesn’t break; the prizes aren’t that great anyway. ]

I don’t want to wind up with another banana to pawn off on some kid.

[ … after trying to harass a larping wizard into taking the banana first. shiro was, unfortunately, unsuccessful. he laughs now though, twisting around to walk backwards for a moment, facing keith as he stretches his hands out wide. what is that? three feet? four? ]

It was this big, Keith. It was terrible. [ such a negative prize; imagine that, punished for succeeding. ]

wildcard. ( "my immortal" edition )

don't speak to me of that song :/

you're the one talking about putting lyrics in tags.

when you least expect it :3

://///// i shall always be anticipating it now, so ig you can't do it????

are you sure.

... i had to scroll up to see what i was sure about. so no. i am afraid now.

yes good. be very afraid

new thing to be fearful of: the heavy book bag mention ( also ideky this is long, im sry )

i know you;re not sorry.

I COULD BE. but you're right, i'm not.

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not sure why this ended up pointlessly long

the meta is strong in you.

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