(Network) A little bit of hacking never hurt anyone

[failedpromise]

Who:"Manji" (Actually Cortana posting with his account)
Username: Username
Warnings: None, other than Cortana being a little shit.

A little Public Service Announcement: don't make your account password a variation of password.

Unless, of course, you want to end up like this guy.

Comments

[failedpromise]

(Oh for the love of-Cortana's frustration and bewildered exasperation only increase. At least, they do until she gets the picture of his feet. Then her expression turns to one of utter shock before she bursts into laughter.)

You-you just sent me a picture of your feet, buddy.

(It takes a moment to get herself under control.)

But no, I'm entirely real. If you want to see for yourself, I'm happy to meet you in the cafeteria.

[canofmanji]

i was trying to do that filter thing! [Really it's impressive he manged to take a photo to begin with.] but sure, ill bite. see you then.

[failedpromise]

Maybe I can show you when you get there.

(It won't take her long to get to the cafeteria. And it won't be hard to spot her: she really is blue and made of light.)

[canofmanji]

[That stuns the one armed, one eye man dressed in a classic black and white kimono. He doesn't even pretend to not be staring.

That sure is... blue.] Well, shit. Ain't that something.

[failedpromise]

(She is amazing, isn't she?

Cortana grins from ear to ear. It's nice to be able to dazzle people again.)

If you really want to see something impressive...

(She turns purple instead.)

[canofmanji]

[Manji takes a step back in shock and surprise.] How'd you do that!? Something with the light or somethin'?

[failedpromise]

(Oh this just keeps getting better.)

Something like that. (Admire her more, please.

...Oh, right, she'd had something else to show him.)

Do you want me to teach you how to use your phone without taking pictures of your feet?

[canofmanji]

Can you make it stop making so much noise? [Guess who ended up downloading a lot of random stuff that now sends him a bunch of random notifications most of the day.]

[failedpromise]

(She snorts.) Probably. (She holds out her hand and waits for him to hand over the phone. Might as well see what else he's messing up and help him with it.)

[canofmanji]

[Manji hands the phone over and the very first thing she'll probably notice is how cracked and dented it is. Also sticky. Clearly someone doesn't care if their hands are dirty when he picks his phone up. The next thing she will notice is he has no lock screen at all. No pattern, no code, nothing at all.]

[failedpromise]

(She makes a bit of a face, and takes a moment to wipe the phone screen.)

Protip: try to keep the screen clean, letting it get dirty like this can make it less responsive to your touch.

(She isn't surprised that the phone isn't locked, but...)

Also, you can set the phone to "lock" when you're not using it. You might not care about whether someone tries to take it from you but you could at least make it annoyingly difficult for them.

(Said as she works on figuring out what's going on. She'll check notifications first, of course.)

[canofmanji]

[He shrugs. He'll consider her suggestion, but knows himself and his habits enough to not make a promise.]

Isn't the point to carry it around? I don't see other people locking it away when they're not using it. [That's what she means by lock, right?

He has so many spam notifications. Different apps reminding him to play them or do something with them. Others telling him to send money. Apparently he's won a lot of different lotteries he's never entered.]

[failedpromise]

(She does her best not to laugh, though her amusement at his confusion is clear and obvious.)

No I mean... (She shows him her own phone, and how turning it on doesn't allow access to the phone but instead brings up a screen demanding a password.

Once she's done that, she goes back to examining his phone.)

...Did you intend to download a bunch of games and gambling programs?

[canofmanji]

[Manji 'huhs' softly with some interest. He doesn't bother trying to open it, but instead hands it back.]

Yeah, they said they'd give me money if I did, but I couldn't get any of them to work. Kept asking me for some sort of security number. [ADI gave him a fake social security number, but luckily Manji hasn't memorized it or cared much about it.]

[failedpromise]

Usually when an app offers you money, it's either because they want you to do something for them or because they're trying to trick you into giving out exactly that sort of information.

(She sighs.)

ADI gave you a fake social security number when you arrived here. Don't tell it to people-someone who knows that number can take out loans and credit cards in your name and leave you on the hook for paying them back.

Also, downloading all these apps is why your phone keeps making all that noise. They're trying to get your attention so that you'll use them.

[canofmanji]

They can't make me pay it back if they can't find me.

Huh, they never shut up. So they do tend to get my attention, but how do I get them to shut up?

[failedpromise]

Money from ADI is stored in an electronic account. Debt collectors can bill that directly.

(Wait ...does he even realize he has an account?

If he doesn't and is just using any physical cash he manages to get his hands on, he could be sitting on a lot of money. A part of her wants to try and steal it, but he is an ally and she's never had much use for cash. She supposes she might need to teach him to use an ATM...)

You can turn off notifications from apps, both individually and for all of them, in the settings.

(For now she'll just walk him through that.)

[canofmanji]

Yeah, had a bit of a spat with them over that. They weren't paying me real money for awhile. [He Karen-ed his way into getting someone how to get his paycheck out of the bank each time they get paid. Even if she did decide to rob his bank she'd find it completely empty.] Tried to tell me it was invisible or something stupid like that. I got them to give me real money now.