Network | Video | PSA about recent Dogtown results

[energyfieldgood]

Who: Rodney McKay
Username: imwithgenius
Warnings: mentions of dead bodies, skeleton horses, amnesia, blood, zombies, guns, bullet wounds, supernatural compulsion, violence, death


Yes, hello. Maybe you remember the mysterious Dogtown building past our oh-so-very-scenic river of blood that some people around here considered the holy grail of answers. Well, we went to check it out. And why would we deny you all the enlightenment it held.

[It's sharp, snide. Someone's in a mood. Even for Rodney, it's a mood.]

You ready for this? It's a zombie. There's zombies now because apparently that's what this place was lacking. You know, just the other night I thought in between all the skeleton horses and amnesia and breaking down of critical infrastructure there's such a lack of dead bodies pursuing me, it's a real letdown.

Dead guy's dressed like a hunter or trapper and shambles with a jolly tune on his lips. Oh, and did I mention the gun? Because there's a gun. Because not only do we get the Terminator's fleshy brother snapping at our heels, obviously he should be able to rain down a hailstorm of bullets at us while he's at it. Because that's fair.

So if you hear whistling, I highly recommend removing yourself from wherever you are unless you feel like playing target practice with things that go Natty Bumppo in the night.

Comments

Voice, un: Pegasus cw: mention of spiders, death

[ferriswheelsandfootball]

[John is probably right next to Rodney. Or at least not very far.

This also resulted in said zombie killing him and him coming back as an Avatar. But he’s trying to sound perfectly normal about things. He’s fine.

Everything is fine.]

PSA to his PSA, we found an antidote to some kind of spider venom, so it wasn’t all for naught.

But yeah. Terminator hunter zombie that whistles and scares the crap out of you with his whistle.

[He does not like that guy. He does not like that guy one bit.]

Turns out fighting zombies isn’t as fun as advertised, who knew?

He’s also unkillable as far as we know so if you see him around, don’t engage. Just run.

[Good luck everyone!]

[abrightboy]

There was only one skeleton horse.

[abrightboy]

What methods have you tried? To kill it, I mean.

[energyfieldgood]

While absolutely not the point, you can't prove that. Maybe we all saw a different one. Maybe there's an entire horse army.

[abrightboy]

Occam’s razor would suggest otherwise.

Text un: Chosewell

[failedpromise]

(Cortana hates this. That said, she's not letting people witness her panic at this news. Hence the text.)

Did he still look mostly like a Human corpse? Or was he more monstrous?

text

[energyfieldgood]

Very human. Better preserved than he probably should have been now that I think about it.

[ferriswheelsandfootball]

We tried shooting at it, it didn’t work. Not like in the movies at all. It gets hot, but it doesn’t slow down.

I tried destroying the web bridge, to trap it, but it must know some other way around the blood river.

text: ceasetherain

[wewillwewill]

Would you explain the nature of this undead manifestation in detail? My understanding of what you call a zombie on this star is limited.

[abrightboy]

I’m not a zombie expert, but don’t you have to, like… cut off their heads?

[ferriswheelsandfootball]

Couldn’t get close enough to try, he was shooting at us.

But even when aiming for the head, didn’t stop him.

text

[energyfieldgood]

Basically, it's a corpse that comes back to life without higher brain function and tries to eat you. Except he doesn't quite fit the bill. Most zombies are slow and shamble without being able to use tools. This one is fast and definitely knows how to work that rifle.

Where are you from?

[video] un: cupkate

[bossyboiler]

Nothing good has come from Dogtown.

[ Is she wrong? It remains to be seen. Is she a coward for not ever wanting to go? Maybe. ]

[energyfieldgood]

Oh, give me a break. Because Occam's razor is even remotely useful in a place with people who melt like wax or condiments that turn us into vampires.

[energyfieldgood]

[Nothing good at all.]

At this point I think we have gathered enough evidence to assume that there probably won't. I'm starting to think the place is nothing but an oversized honey trap.

un; username

[canofmanji]

How sure are you that it was a zombie and not just a really ugly guy?

[energyfieldgood]

I know what a dead body looks like.

And when a dead body suddenly gets up, that definitely ticks the zombie box.

[bossyboiler]

Finally, someone who speaks sense about that place.

[canofmanji]

Does it have glassy or foggy looking eyes? A slack jaw? Weird skin colouring? That's how I usually tell when someone's dead.

[wewillwewill]

Hm, strange. Such beings spawned from corpses of the dead more commonly retain a semblance of skill with weaponry upon my star. The ashkin you witnessed would not be uncommon there. Though any pretense of life, as you call it, would likely be naught but a twisted mockery of what makes a living being. Or some fleeting memory which the abandoned shell possessed.

[ Of COURSE there are worlds out there with 'common zombie problems'. Look forward to that idea when you get back to Atlantis, Rodney. ]

The star I am from is known as Etheirys. Though other than those from the same origin, I have found no reference to knowledge of its existence on this place called Earth.

[ Well not in the literal sense. There's other things he's noticed but that's clearly not what was asked for. Apparently 'ceasetherain' is implying he is okay if the man hasn't heard of it. ]

[energyfieldgood]

Your planet sounds awful.

[Sorry not sorry, what a horrible day to have an active imagination. Rodney makes a quick note to self: look for Etheirys in their database and, in case of success, delete the gate address immediately. No trading is worth this.]

Where's Etheirys located? Pegasus? Ever heard of beings called the Wraith?

[energyfieldgood]

You know, I didn't really check up close before it got up and started shooting at us.

But there were signs of decay, yes. Not as bad as it could have been, though.

[energyfieldgood]

Yes, well. Don't think it's gonna do us much good.

[Meaning, he just knows people will still be idiots about it. He's got one of them in the room with him.]

[bossyboiler]

It probably won't. You're right. Too many people like to keep going back.

[wewillwewill]

If ashkin were prolific and that which man could not counter, I suppose it would seem that way. Yet it is not an overwhelming concern and there are many there which can easily handle the threat.

[ Yeah Rodney, he may have just called you out on your capability. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe it was a straightforward assurance from a guy who gave every little bit of his millennia-long life in dedication to his beloved world and people who just heard some fellow dismiss it as 'awful' because there might be a couple undead running around. Who knows though. It's text. ]

Ah, are you referring to its location in the Sea of Stars? I'm afraid my specialties do not lie in the celestial. Nor would I easily recognize your own star's frame of reference without further study. If indeed Earth is your native world.

There are beings known as wraiths, though they are another subspecies of ashkin. I do not believe I have heard of a living species by that name, if that is what you ask.