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apocalypsehowcomm2023-02-02 02:09 pm
failedpromise) wrote in apocalypsehowcomm2023-02-02 02:09 pm
Video post, forward dated to Feb 5th
Who: Cortana
Username: Chosewell
Warnings: Mentions of death, animal experimentation and harm, creepy food?
(Oh look! A video post!
Cortana is sitting in an (her?) office with a small bowl of veggies and ...a rat? Yeah that's very much a white, tailless rat there, rummaging around in that little bowl of vegetable pieces next to Cortana as she speaks.)
Hey everyone! So I've got a little public service announcement for you- (The rat, having briefly lost interest in the food, starts trying to climb up her shirt. With a whispered dammit, no! Cortana gets to work on detaching it from her and putting it back next to the bowl.
She sighs.)
...You're probably wondering why the rat. Sometime around last October a new bakery opened up. Well technically, it had been open for a while, but it wasn't until October that it became famous for selling a rather unusual, if seemingly innocuous treat.
Sound familiar?
Deathbed bread was a tasty -- at least, according to what I've been told -- sourdough bread with fake epitaphs baked into the bottom as a homage of sorts to a time when bakers would steal headstones to use for baking bread.
(She makes a face.)
It seemed more than a little disturbing to me but apparently not everyone agreed -- I had to wait in line for a long time just to purchase a loaf.
There's a file containing pictures of said loaf attached to this post, by the way. (Anyone who looks will find an image of what looks to be an expertly baked loaf of sourdough marked with the words:
Here Lies Jessica Strange
Mother, Daughter, Sister, and Cousin
She made you feel Strange, but never a Stranger
...yeah, it really doesn't look sinister or threatening at all.)
As it turns out, the bread was a lot less innocent than it seemed. Not that it seems particularly innocent to me but apparently I'm sensitive to weird death symbolism. (She sighs, rolling her eyes.)
...Don't ask why.
Anyway, I thought it was creepy, so I talked to the people in research and requisitioned three lab rats to feed portions of the bread to, along with some other tests. Yes (She gestures to the little tailless creature munching on veggie pieces next to her.) that's where this guy is from. As for the others ...a few days after being fed, they had heart attacks and died. This one survived, but was severely traumatized (She picks it up, both to hold it closer to the camera and to give it some scritches. It seems to like the scritches.) and stressed to the point of chewing off its own tail. Given the situation, I think it's safe to assume the others were frightened to death. Humans who ate the bread reported having strange dreams and distressing experiences, claiming that they felt like they were going to die. There were also a lot of actual "accidental" deaths around that time.
Look, I know insects are perfectly normal food on some worlds and in some cultures, but in case the general public's reaction didn't tip you off, they aren't here. Given the previous track record with stores popping up selling new and unusual treats, I'd be really careful about anything you buy at Bumblegum, at least until we know for sure it's not a front for some sort of entity cult.
For those curious, I've got more pictures and data on the results of my experiments attached to this post.
Username: Chosewell
Warnings: Mentions of death, animal experimentation and harm, creepy food?
(Oh look! A video post!
Cortana is sitting in an (her?) office with a small bowl of veggies and ...a rat? Yeah that's very much a white, tailless rat there, rummaging around in that little bowl of vegetable pieces next to Cortana as she speaks.)
Hey everyone! So I've got a little public service announcement for you- (The rat, having briefly lost interest in the food, starts trying to climb up her shirt. With a whispered dammit, no! Cortana gets to work on detaching it from her and putting it back next to the bowl.
She sighs.)
...You're probably wondering why the rat. Sometime around last October a new bakery opened up. Well technically, it had been open for a while, but it wasn't until October that it became famous for selling a rather unusual, if seemingly innocuous treat.
Sound familiar?
Deathbed bread was a tasty -- at least, according to what I've been told -- sourdough bread with fake epitaphs baked into the bottom as a homage of sorts to a time when bakers would steal headstones to use for baking bread.
(She makes a face.)
It seemed more than a little disturbing to me but apparently not everyone agreed -- I had to wait in line for a long time just to purchase a loaf.
There's a file containing pictures of said loaf attached to this post, by the way. (Anyone who looks will find an image of what looks to be an expertly baked loaf of sourdough marked with the words:
Mother, Daughter, Sister, and Cousin
She made you feel Strange, but never a Stranger
...yeah, it really doesn't look sinister or threatening at all.)
As it turns out, the bread was a lot less innocent than it seemed. Not that it seems particularly innocent to me but apparently I'm sensitive to weird death symbolism. (She sighs, rolling her eyes.)
...Don't ask why.
Anyway, I thought it was creepy, so I talked to the people in research and requisitioned three lab rats to feed portions of the bread to, along with some other tests. Yes (She gestures to the little tailless creature munching on veggie pieces next to her.) that's where this guy is from. As for the others ...a few days after being fed, they had heart attacks and died. This one survived, but was severely traumatized (She picks it up, both to hold it closer to the camera and to give it some scritches. It seems to like the scritches.) and stressed to the point of chewing off its own tail. Given the situation, I think it's safe to assume the others were frightened to death. Humans who ate the bread reported having strange dreams and distressing experiences, claiming that they felt like they were going to die. There were also a lot of actual "accidental" deaths around that time.
Look, I know insects are perfectly normal food on some worlds and in some cultures, but in case the general public's reaction didn't tip you off, they aren't here. Given the previous track record with stores popping up selling new and unusual treats, I'd be really careful about anything you buy at Bumblegum, at least until we know for sure it's not a front for some sort of entity cult.
For those curious, I've got more pictures and data on the results of my experiments attached to this post.
no subject
no subject
[A beat.]
As much as we can know that anything in this town isn't going to turn out to be haunted.
no subject
no subject
I think now you're just challenging the monsters to do their worst.
no subject
(...In all actuality, she really hopes they do not.)
no subject
[It's deadpan dry.]
If the store has a website, we can look through and see what would be best to try with the rats.
no subject
(No, her fear is living horribly in the clutches of an entity.)
Sure. Wanna come over and check it out?
no subject
I'm just finishing up a report, but I can come by in about half an hour, if that works.
no subject
(What the fuck happened to you, Yelena? She's not actually gonna ask that, but she's definitely going to wonder why she so casually agreed.)
I'm already looking forward to it.
no subject
I'll see you then.
[And, true to her word, a half an hour later she's there knocking on Cortana's door.]
Action
Over and out.
(And true to Cortana's word, she'll be there waiting. It takes only seconds for her to close the distance from the couch to the door.
This is, of course, early February, before she'd even realized Tony was missing, so his stuff hasn't been cleaned up yet. The apartment is thus cluttered with tools and half-finished projects and whatever else he normally has lying around, save for the couch and coffee table + the kitchen. Cortana has her laptop sitting out on said coffee table, ready and waiting.)
Hey there, fancy seeing you here. (She says jokingly, as though she hadn't invited Yelena to come over at this exact time, before moving aside and making a come in gesture.)
Re: Action
[The deadpan tone is ruined by a quick flash of a smile as she steps inside. She notes the clutter of tools and projects she doesn't even half have a name for, and lets out a low, impressed whistle.]
It looks like an apartment and a mad scientist's lair had a baby.
no subject
It does, doesn't it? Welcome to rooming with Tony Stark, I guess. Sorry about the mess.
(She starts making her way to the couch, then pauses.)
You need anything? Coffee, tea...
no subject
They forgot to put the mess in all the magazine articles.
[She follows after Cortana, shaking her head slightly at the question.]
I'm fine. Should be another couple hours before I have to worry about caffeine crash.
no subject
(Dr. Halsey is ...eccentric. At least, she was when Cortana lived in her lab.
The laptop is currently in sleep mode, so Cortana reaches out and taps the touchpad as she sits down. The website is already up and waiting to be searched when the screen lights up.)
So ...what do you want to look at first? (Chocolates, maybe? Unlike many animals, it's not poisonous to rats.)