network | text

[haircaring]

Who: Steve Harrington
Username: harrington
Warnings: none rn, will update if needed/requested

Hey so is this a regular Halloween parties and trick or treat kind of town, or is it gonna be like a portal to hell opens and rains unearthly terrors down on us kind of town tomorrow?

I mean I think this month's already been kind of a lot. Personally. But I know that's basically worthless to a demon or whatever. I just want to know my odds of having to deal with MORE horror movie bullshit.

But uh

also don't be a dick to trick or treaters no matter where we land on that. Like, be cool. They're kids. Between the hell portal and the popcorn balls, those twerps are gonna have enough to complain about.

Ok thanks

Comments

[aelwyn_aberration]

Oh Mr Harrington, you lack imagination.

Imagine a pig with arms for teeth. Or a pig with full arms instead of hooves. Imagine a pig with tusks that are actually just arms with jacked up muscles.

The world should be glad that we only got pigs with arms on their backs.

[haircaring]

[ LENGTHY PAUSE. ]

Pigs have tusks?

[aelwyn_aberration]

...Yes?

Wild ones at least.

[haircaring]

Huh. Kinda cool to know.
Oh you know what it is? I was thinking about boars. Which I guess are pigs but they don't get called pigs. So weird.
If I saw a boar that had arms instead of tusks I'm pretty sure I'd just try to find a river or something to jump into so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

[aelwyn_aberration]

Oh, you mean the mutated creatures that humans bred. No, I meant wild boars. Farmyard Pigs originated from boars.
But yes, that's a valid response.
They were pretty easy to kill though, honestly.

[If you have copious amounts of magic.]

[haircaring]

[ Hmmmmmm. ]

There's a lot of ground to cover there.
The pig stuff is cool. Easy to kill makes me feel better about it.
Is it gonna be weird if I ask about the specifying humans thing?

[aelwyn_aberration]

Oh, I'm an elf. High elf, specifically. We're close to humans in practice, but I'm immortal and more magic than you. And I have sharper ears.

[haircaring]

Right. My elf experience is all pretty Christmas based. But they're also immortal and magic, so.

That sounds cool?

[aelwyn_aberration]

Ah yes, the elves enslaved by the lich of the north pole.

I'm familiar.

[haircaring]

[ A pause roughly the length of a guy who was taking a drink of water when he read that and lived to regret his choice. ]

Are you

Hold on are you serious? You're from a world where Santa's a real thing but he's just an asshole with elf slaves?

[aelwyn_aberration]

No. I just think your mythologies surrounding this fat human sound deeply sinister - like the workings of a lich who created a capitalist empire off the backs of elves and monitors the entire world through some snow orb or whatever.

It's insane. If an old man came through my chimney, I would shoot him in the head.