takashi shirogane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
earthshine) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
apocalypsehowcomm2021-08-05 03:34 pm
earthshine) wrote in apocalypsehowcomm2021-08-05 03:34 pm
Entry tags:
[ closed ]
Who: shiro + keith
When: perm log for these idiots
Where: all over
Summary: say, say o playmate from the august tdm. the butcher's camp from the september tdm. quarter pounder from the september event. keith's birthday. hermy the wormy from the december tdm. in the hive from the december event.new year, new you from the january tdm. end of january, references january event.
Warnings:
say, o say o playmate: hallucination, blood, ritualistic sacrifice, claustrophobia.
the butcher's camp: animal death, animal mutilation, both human and animal butchery, implied cannibalism, stripping ( nsfw ).
quarter pounder: blood, animal attack, consumption of human flesh, violence, gore, body horror, potential for severe injury, including puncture wounds and broken bones, potential for choking, potential for animal death.
keith's birthday: boys being stupid.
hermy the wormy: worms, decay, altered mental states/compulsion, emotional corruption, potential for violence, body mutilation, attempted murder.
in the hive: insects/swarms, bites, vomiting, body horror, death ( npcs ), mental and physical trauma
new year, new you: self-doubt, body dysmorphia trauma, cringe talk about sex safety, hook-up culture, body modification ( steroid and synthol oil use ), mention of drug use
end of january: implied animal death, self-doubt, body image issues, body dysmorphia, self-harm, body mutilation, skin burning, drug use mention ( tren steroid ), implied extreme dieting ( starvation & dehydration ), nsfw ( heavy petting and nudity ). reference to shiro's scars.
When: perm log for these idiots
Where: all over
Summary: say, say o playmate from the august tdm. the butcher's camp from the september tdm. quarter pounder from the september event. keith's birthday. hermy the wormy from the december tdm. in the hive from the december event.new year, new you from the january tdm. end of january, references january event.
Warnings:
say, o say o playmate: hallucination, blood, ritualistic sacrifice, claustrophobia.
the butcher's camp: animal death, animal mutilation, both human and animal butchery, implied cannibalism, stripping ( nsfw ).
quarter pounder: blood, animal attack, consumption of human flesh, violence, gore, body horror, potential for severe injury, including puncture wounds and broken bones, potential for choking, potential for animal death.
keith's birthday: boys being stupid.
hermy the wormy: worms, decay, altered mental states/compulsion, emotional corruption, potential for violence, body mutilation, attempted murder.
in the hive: insects/swarms, bites, vomiting, body horror, death ( npcs ), mental and physical trauma
new year, new you: self-doubt, body dysmorphia trauma, cringe talk about sex safety, hook-up culture, body modification ( steroid and synthol oil use ), mention of drug use
end of january: implied animal death, self-doubt, body image issues, body dysmorphia, self-harm, body mutilation, skin burning, drug use mention ( tren steroid ), implied extreme dieting ( starvation & dehydration ), nsfw ( heavy petting and nudity ). reference to shiro's scars.
you were right about that LOL
he whips around to the sound, lungs locking up, heart thumping hard; he feels like he’s on pins and needles with every nerve-ending tingling. adrenaline ramps up for the promise of a fight and he has his galra arm held at the ready, not alight yet, but all that takes is a fraction of a second and then he can --
run?
the glare he has directed at the passageway only deepens and for a brief moment, he grits his teeth, grinding down some of the immediate frustration. not all of it though, not even close, so his tone carries it. ] No. [ he’s not even looking at keith but he anticipates a rebuttal anyway, tacking on a harsh: ] It’s not up for debate.
[ all the feel-good reassurances he’s been talking up these couple of weeks, of how they need to stick close and that they’re a team made stronger by working together -- bullshit. when the chips are down, shiro’s going to pull rank and here he does just that. so if anyone is staying behind to face whatever comes out of that passageway, it’s going to be shiro, end of story.
that’s not to say he’s suicidal. two passageways opened up and as far as he can tell, the screaming is only coming from one. so if they just get a move on. he backs up with slow, measured steps, angling to cross the distance between them, never looking away from the cursed opening for more than a moment at a time. the scream picks up again after a few moments pause and fuck, the movies never get it quite right. that’s someone on the verge of death. someone who knows without a shadow of a doubt that no one will help them and that they are going to die. shiro’s heard a lot of those.
focus. he risks a longer glance away, eyeing up the second passageway, before jerking a nod toward it and then looking back to the first opening. ]
The tunnel -- you can fit that. [ shiro thinks he can too; might be a tighter squeeze but. ] Go. I’ll be right behind you.
i am a prophet
he shoots the tunnel an obligatory glance, takes one step towards it even, but he doesn't deactivate the bayard or get down on his hands and knees to start crawling. ]
I'm not leaving without you. [ said emphatically as he grabs shiro's hand to tug him away from the screams. ] That's not up for debate either.
[ so shiro better not get any funny ideas about this whole situation. ]
when shall i expect the next edit
whatever happened to listening to team leader? funny, keith doesn’t even know shiro once offered up the helm of voltron to him and yet, he’s acting like a co-leader anyway, like shiro’s orders have no authority over him.
fuck, there isn’t time to get into an argument here, especially when squabbling will cut into their window of escape. so while he dug his heels in and refused to budge on that first tug, two, three ticks later and he gives up on the stare down, instead heaving an exasperated sigh. ]
Come on. [ and now he’s the one tugging keith along, only to then bully him in front, right up close to the tunnel opening. ]
You first.
[ don't fight him on this, don't fight him on this, don't -- ]
.likely within the next 3 tags. ..that's probably a generous estiamte.
it's too dark to see just how far this tunnel extends and the space is narrow enough that keith instinctively doesn't want to go crawling into it. there's only just enough room to move forward and turning around is going to be an impossibility. if this tunnel's a dead-end, they're fucked if whatever's in the other room can pursue. for a moment, keith's expression falters as he looks over his shoulder at shiro. looking less disgruntled, this time keith simply looks miserable and frightened. it's hard to believe that less than fifteen minutes ago they were messing around on a playground without a care in the world and now they're down here contemplating the end. ]
Shiro...
[ he starts, there's another anguished scream that reverberates off the stone walls. in the end, keith never finishes what may be the last thing he says to shiro. heart racing, keith has to force himself to slip into the tunnel. it's coming is enough of a petrifying motivator that keith moves as fast as he can, ignoring the sting of his hands and knees as he moves forward. he doesn't stop, he doesn't try to look back, just keeps pushing onwards through the pitch black of the narrow tunnel. ]
i'll be amazed if it takes 3.
they’ve been in arguably worse situations before, ones with higher stakes and stacked odds, but it’s easier to compartmentalize somehow. because there, keith’s suited in paladin armor with the castleship behind him and a red lion in his corner. here, he’s dressed in plain clothes and looking a lot closer to the boy he used to kick up dust clouds with in the desert. wholly and utterly himself, keith doesn’t pass as the warrior shiro has become accustomed to and it’s jarring.
but the scream is more so. he flinches, whipping his head ‘round to the other opening. one shallow breath later and he looks back to keith, only to find that he’s half inside the tunnel. his legs disappear soon enough and shiro feels the smallest sense of relief. good. go. and then shiro stalls because of course he does.
just a little longer. he puts the tunnel to his back and stands in front of it, once again giving the scream-filled passage all of his attention. shiro has no desire to face whatever threat is here, but allowing keith a head start to get some distance…? yeah, that’s what he wants.
he can’t say how long he delays. it can’t be more than a minute. nothing in the room has changed; no sign of the threat from the other passage and nothing crawling out from the pit. not exactly confident to turn his back on all of this, but figuring that’s good enough to ensure keith has a good buffer, shiro ducks down and squeezes inside the tunnel. and then he starts crawling.
… only to find, oh, it truly is tight. his shoulders rub uncomfortably against the narrow walls and -- fuck, hopefully nothing does start crawling in after him, because his movements can only be described as slow. ]
listen, i tried.
shitshitshit -- keith moves on faster. of all the places and ways in which he could die, getting caught crawling and defenseless in a tunnel just wasn't fucking it. he'd have rather died fighting if anything, but of course, he'd given up that option when he'd yielded to shiro's demands.
feeling sick to his stomach, he's not entirely sure if the light at the end of the tunnel that comes up after god knows how many minutes of frantic crawling is hallucinated or not, but the relief it brings is so intense, that he very nearly laughs. maybe there's a reason people always go towards the light in those near death anecdotes, who knew. as he gets closer, the stone tunnel suddenly switches back to plastic tubing and before keith's had the chance to be properly confused about it, he slides the rest of the way down and falls sprawled onto his hands and knees.
flinching at the bright sunlight, it takes keith a second to get his bearings. even after he's physically stable, and not blinded, he doesn't understand. the kangaroo and joey spring rocker is there a couple of yards away, the swing set similarly just as present. but the slide? the fucking slide that messed up the day? it's inexplicably gone.
keith whips around, turning this way and that. ]
Shiro...?
[ and just as quickly, whatever joy he'd felt from having escaped the stone temple withers on the spot. shiro had said that he'd be right behind keith. so where the hell is he? ]
Shiro?!
[ keith yells louder, like that's all it's going to take. a gentle breeze rocks the swing back and forth in answer, but the place is as void as ever. panicked, keith tries again, even louder this tine: ] Shiro! Shiro, where are you?!
[ they say silence is deafening. keith didn't understand how that made sense, but then he turned ten and one day he was all alone standing in front of a headstone at a very empty cemetery. throat tightening and hands balling into fists, keith bites down hard on his lip to keep a desperate sob to himself. he can't go to pieces, he has to think what the logical course of action here is.... but how the fuck do you go about finding someone who disappeared through a wormhole that no longer fucking exists? pulling out his bayard, keith activates the weapon and swings it through the empty space where the slide used to be, hoping to maybe catch it on something invisible to the human eye, but there's nothing.
nothing at all.
he falls onto the ground, stabbing the point of his sword into the rubberized mulch, shoulders shaking as he digging up clumps of earth with his hands. ]
it's ok. it's who you are.
chest seizing on the upwelling of panic, shiro falters on the next pull of his hands. ] Keith! [ his voice echos down the confined space and is soon swallowed up by the endless dark laid out before him. ] Keith! [ tries a second time but it’s much the same. no answering call.
calm down. he’s likely too far ahead. shiro did give him a generous headstart and with his smaller frame, he’d be much faster maneuvering down this tunnel. he’s fine. there’s no plan to calling his name either; it’s not as though shiro would then command for them to backtrack. shiro isn’t even sure he’d be able to at this point.
the only option here is to keep going.
so he does. spurred on by both worry for keith and the very real possibility that something could latch onto his legs at any moment, shiro resumes crawling. he grimaces from the pressure bearing at his shoulders, as well as the scrapes catching at his palm, but he keeps right on until the first trickle of light brightens some of the dark. the brighter it gets, the more frantic he becomes until -- the floor falls out from beneath him. wait, no, it’s still there but angled. and bright. and plastic…?
he has the briefest sensation of sliding down along his belly before the world abruptly comes into focus. a half a second to process trees, sunlight, mulch… and then it’s a lot of mulch as he quite literally faceplants into it. he coughs as he lifts his head immediately thereafter, spitting the bit of mulch stuck to his lip and there, two yards away, on his periphery, is keith. he forgets all else in the moment, turning his attention fully that way and the worry etched across his face eases. ] Keith. [ simple, but it encompasses all of his relief: they made it. ]
no subject
snapping his head up to look, keith doesn't bother getting up from the ground. there, looking scuffed up but relieved is shiro. his heart seems to stop completely for several beats, then all too suddenly everything about the last thirty minutes of his life avalanches down on his shoulders, leaving keith reeling and weak in the aftermath. ]
Shiro?
[ he gets up unsteadily, the echoing relief is plain to hear in his voice, though marred with heavy incredulity. he takes a step closer, and when steps feel too slow, he runs and throws himself at shiro's side to send them both tumbling back onto the ground. if that's melodramatic, keith doesn't give a shit. shiro is solid and warm and present and -- extremely punchable. drawing back a fist, he drives it into his best friend's left bicep. ]
You said you were going to be right behind me!
no subject
they both go down in a tangle and distantly, in the back of shiro’s mind, some place safe from the overwhelming what the hell of the moment, shiro tallies off how this is the third time in under an hour he’s ended up with keith on top of him in some manner. lovely.
the following punch doesn’t hurt in any grand capacity but it does shock him into a higher pitched: ] I was!
[ and there, lying on the ground, frowning at keith with an indignant, defensive expression, shiro only manages to maintain the look for not even a full beat before he glances off to the side.
reluctantly: ] … Okay, maybe not right behind you.
[ slight difference of a minute or two, no big deal, right? hardly enough to warrant a punch. especially when he has a good reason for being late. ] I had to make sure nothing followed you.
i am still mad you made me hunger for cream puffs last night
I thought you were trapped there! When I finally got out of the tunnel, I looked and the slide was just gone and you weren't anywhere in sight! I thought -- [ keith hangs his head for a moment, hands curling into fists again. the thought of throwing a second punch is counterbalanced only by shiro's betrayed indignation. one deep breath, then another for good measure and: ]
I thought I'd never see you again. [ here, keith holds eye contact for as long as he can stomach before looking away with a more subdued: ] I don't need you to be a hero. I just need you to be here.
AND YET you just ate one!
yes, he thinks, but not for himself. there’s obligation in him needing to figure out his past, only in that he can better understand the tech masquerading as his arm and of course, remembering more of the inner workings of the galra and of haggar, can only benefit the resistance. at the very least, maybe he’ll settle the panic always lurking underneath the surface and achieve the kind of mental fortitude worthy of the leader of voltron. he can’t have another freak out like he did with sendak or worse, freeze in the midst of battle as he’s done already.
his mental stability isn’t what he’s focusing on in the present moment though. it’s keith’s.
he won’t apologize for doing what he thought was required in the moment. he was protecting keith and by extension, the future of voltron. as far as shiro is concerned, he acted as he should have. but even in thinking that, that defensive air about him dissipates and his expression softens with understanding. of course he sympathizes; keith’s abandonment issues always have a way of giving his heart a sharp pang.
here, he sighs and then pushes himself up. keith is quite literally in his lap, so it’s easy enough to get his arms around him and nestle him into his chest with a squeeze. ]
Believe me -- no part of me likes the idea of leaving you alone. [ not that he needed more reason, but now he’s even less inclined to tell keith about the stint on the desert wasteland planet and the purple lizard monsters that almost killed him. ] I’m going to do everything in my power to come back to you, promise.
[ a beat and then in hopes of lifting the mood, he gently reminds: ] I did before, right?
because YOU put the craving in my head!!
the risk had at least made sense when there was a universe at stake and losing one paladin was less detrimental than losing two. here though, they both need to prioritize staying alive first and foremost, and if that objective can't be met? then obviously the head of voltron is far less expendable than its temperamental right hand. keith breathes out, sighing heavily into the fabric of shiro's shirt and grips tighter. ]
I know.
[ shiro's escape from the galra and return to earth had been a goddamn once in a lifetime miracle. but what keith doesn't say here is that the galra, however powerful they may be, are still bound to some constraints of reality. whatever happened to them just now? sure, there are some plausible bullshit explanations about wormholes and elaborate mindgames revolving around live sacrifices, but it's not... regimented in the same way. logical, comprehensible, and thus breakable. ]
I just can't lose you here, okay? [ keith allows himself another tick of this self indulgent hug and finally lets go. ] And more importantly, the team needs its leader.
[ so if someone has to take the fall, it'll be keith. but he knows better than to say that. ]
... you're welcome c:
And its second-in-command, red paladin.
[ it’s said kindly, but there’s more to it than encouragement. it’s a reminder meant to reinforce him being leader. second -- perhaps it isn’t fair of shiro to expect their current partnership to follow the same dynamic they have within voltron, but shiro is still going to try pulling rank on keith whenever it best suits him. he wants to right now. he made the call because he’s team leader, end of story, done deal. keith shouldn’t question the decision; he should trust shiro and accept the orders he’s given without rebuke. but then he wouldn’t be keith, huh?
besides, shiro fully anticipates keith being the one to call the shots someday, so there’s little benefit in brow beating that independent thought into blind subordination. he wonders if it would be a good moment to tell keith as much: that he once told another version of keith that he wants him to lead voltron when he’s no longer capable, whether that be from death, black no longer accepting him, or the fragility of his mind rendering him a liability.
probably not. not when they’re both reeling from whatever the fuck they just escaped from.
so he lets leader and second stand as they are, and stays the course of the current conversation, sticking close to his reasoning of keith being just as valuable, if not more. ]
You’re just as important to the team, Keith, I’ve already told you that. [ he unwraps his hold, sliding his hands round to settle on keith’s thighs. smiles crookedly. ] And you’re my friend. You can’t stop me from wanting to look after you.
[ holds for a beat and then pats his palms against the side of his thighs, as a wordless encouragement of up. ready to climb off and get to their feet? ]
.... grumbles into infinity
R-right. [ at least at face value, of course every paladin is a valuable member of the team. forming voltron requires five paladins to work in conjunction with each other to fly. ranking individual paladin's values is a pointless thought exercise in that regard, but... of course there's a 'but.' keith clears his throat, trying not to make the unspoken quite as obvious this time as he moves on. ]
Well, you can't stop me from wanting to look after you either. Looks like we're at an impasse there.
"you are a treasure trove of curses and hilarity"
run, i’ll hold it off -- that’s what keith’s innate reaction had been. too bad shiro’s already called dibs on being the expendable one between the two of them.
he‘s still got that smile going but there’s no joy in it, just an exhausted kind of exasperation. he pushes himself to his feet, slowly brushing clumps of mulch from the seat of his pants and the back of his shirt. it’s on the tip of his tongue: the gateway to an argument. they can’t be at an impasse. agree to disagree -- no. they can’t be caught squabbling in a high risk situation like that again.
but it all comes back to what he first thought: he can’t stop keith. besides, they aren’t out of that high risk situation just yet either. for all they know, they might walk into another portal if they dally here too long. it’s time to leave. ]
Guess so. [ hands come round and he flicks a stray wood chip from the front of his shirt, smoothing out the hem soon after. a sigh. ] We’ll hash it out later. [ maybe? he raises his gaze then, catching keith’s. ]
I’d rather get out of here right now, to be honest. [ a beat and a slight turn toward the path they came up. ] So -- back to headquarters?
this was such a mistake
ugh. maybe it'll be funny when there are days between them and this incident. for now, keith just offers a nod in response. leave? yeah, ok. he tucks the bayard away, shoves his hands in his pockets and starts to walk. ]
Fine.
[ it's flatter than it should be. all things considered, this is a victory, right? they confirmed the spooks, got away mostly unscathed. but his head hurts and there are too many words still competing to get out of his mouth. most of them, keith reserves for the adi agent who had the misfortune of being on duty when they get back to headquarters. he doesn't hold back on his diatribe, letting the poor dude know in no uncertain terms that he and everyone else at adi who authorizes these missions are lower than fucking scum for sending people out on investigations without proper equipment or briefings,
in the end, that doesn't even bring him any catharsis. it's only much later when they're back in their apartment, cleaned up and far away from bureaucracy that keith starts feeling less like yelling. of course, there's still the issue of "later" with shiro, but that never seems to happen. instead there are two ramen cups on the kitchen counter and a friendly invitation to eat them together on the balcony.
if that's meant to be a gentler lead in to some deeper discussion, even that never happens. instead the conversation stays light -- joking even, and it's only then that keith lets go of the tension in his shoulders and manages to joke back. ]