takashi shirogane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
earthshine) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
apocalypsehowcomm2021-08-05 03:34 pm
earthshine) wrote in apocalypsehowcomm2021-08-05 03:34 pm
Entry tags:
[ closed ]
Who: shiro + keith
When: perm log for these idiots
Where: all over
Summary: say, say o playmate from the august tdm. the butcher's camp from the september tdm. quarter pounder from the september event. keith's birthday. hermy the wormy from the december tdm. in the hive from the december event.new year, new you from the january tdm. end of january, references january event.
Warnings:
say, o say o playmate: hallucination, blood, ritualistic sacrifice, claustrophobia.
the butcher's camp: animal death, animal mutilation, both human and animal butchery, implied cannibalism, stripping ( nsfw ).
quarter pounder: blood, animal attack, consumption of human flesh, violence, gore, body horror, potential for severe injury, including puncture wounds and broken bones, potential for choking, potential for animal death.
keith's birthday: boys being stupid.
hermy the wormy: worms, decay, altered mental states/compulsion, emotional corruption, potential for violence, body mutilation, attempted murder.
in the hive: insects/swarms, bites, vomiting, body horror, death ( npcs ), mental and physical trauma
new year, new you: self-doubt, body dysmorphia trauma, cringe talk about sex safety, hook-up culture, body modification ( steroid and synthol oil use ), mention of drug use
end of january: implied animal death, self-doubt, body image issues, body dysmorphia, self-harm, body mutilation, skin burning, drug use mention ( tren steroid ), implied extreme dieting ( starvation & dehydration ), nsfw ( heavy petting and nudity ). reference to shiro's scars.
When: perm log for these idiots
Where: all over
Summary: say, say o playmate from the august tdm. the butcher's camp from the september tdm. quarter pounder from the september event. keith's birthday. hermy the wormy from the december tdm. in the hive from the december event.new year, new you from the january tdm. end of january, references january event.
Warnings:
say, o say o playmate: hallucination, blood, ritualistic sacrifice, claustrophobia.
the butcher's camp: animal death, animal mutilation, both human and animal butchery, implied cannibalism, stripping ( nsfw ).
quarter pounder: blood, animal attack, consumption of human flesh, violence, gore, body horror, potential for severe injury, including puncture wounds and broken bones, potential for choking, potential for animal death.
keith's birthday: boys being stupid.
hermy the wormy: worms, decay, altered mental states/compulsion, emotional corruption, potential for violence, body mutilation, attempted murder.
in the hive: insects/swarms, bites, vomiting, body horror, death ( npcs ), mental and physical trauma
new year, new you: self-doubt, body dysmorphia trauma, cringe talk about sex safety, hook-up culture, body modification ( steroid and synthol oil use ), mention of drug use
end of january: implied animal death, self-doubt, body image issues, body dysmorphia, self-harm, body mutilation, skin burning, drug use mention ( tren steroid ), implied extreme dieting ( starvation & dehydration ), nsfw ( heavy petting and nudity ). reference to shiro's scars.
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nevertheless, shiro asks his follow up question and keith does look then, guarded but deeply incredulous. ]
Why would getting yelled at make me feel better?
[ it's almost laughable really. does shiro think he's some kind of glutton for punishment? that all of his misdeeds were warped around some desire to hear how terrible he is as a person? keith doesn't scoff, but he comes dangerously close to it. ]
You're the one who said I didn't let you say what you needed to.
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god, he’s such a coward.
self admonishment adequately issued, shiro’s frustration climbs higher, feeling strangely out of depth with how to approach this. a lecture is easy. a lecture is expected. but fuck, shiro does not want to do that, not here, not now, not when keith is still huddled into his knees and looking like a drowned cat.
… but keith’s accusation lands. it stings just enough to loosen his tongue for an exasperated: ]
Yeah, about me breaking your hand, not about you breaking someone else’s. [ the meaning between the lines? shiro doesn’t give a shit about this fake griffin kid. keith didn’t handle it right, sure, but tim fucked up royally and shiro doesn’t necessarily want to have jurisdiction over that mess by playing keith’s babysitter. the only person shiro cares about in this whole fucked up reality is the one he also hurt the most. ]
I wanna talk about us. I wanna know we’re okay. [ a beat. ] That you’re okay… with me.
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I thought we were okay!
[ the unsaid but is deafening as keith mangles his lower lip for a beat. how does he even begin to unpack whether they're okay or not? when does he unpack it from? since that day on the couch when shiro tried to kill him and then avoided him for weeks? or does it wrap back around to the turkey testicle fetival when they kissed and things between them felt right .... until they woke up the next day and shiro didn't remember a goddamn thing and left keith feeling like he has to carry a secret? keith holds eye contact for as long as he can bear before there's a prickling feeling at the corners of his eyes that forces him to drop his head and draw tighter into hinself. ]
I thought -- [ voice cracking slightly, keith grits his teeth and clears his throat. ] But you weren't in your right mind for one thing and you don't even remember the other. So I don't know, okay? I want us to be okay. It's the only thing I want.
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easier, right, this doesn’t feel easier.
has it been festering in keith’s mind as much as it has in shiro’s? does he catch himself wondering and wanting and thinking what if…? maybe. if anything, it seems like it’s been tormenting ketih, just as everything else shiro’s brought upon him as of late. shiro grimaces, lips pressed tight together on a frown. he could come clean. it could help clear every tangled, broken feeling between them and help them move past all of this. or it could do the opposite, is the cynical voice in him. and maybe some part of shiro wants that. if keith refuses to get angry with him about breaking his hand and squeezing his neck until it bruised, then perhaps keith learning that shiro’s been hiding from him in more ways than one, will finally earn shiro the tongue lashing he thinks he deserves.
no. he closes his eyes and draws a breath, once again repeating no to himself. keith’s overwhelmed. keith’s hurt. shiro doesn’t want to inflict more damage in some shitty ploy to feed his own self-destructive tendencies. opening his eyes now, he looks back to keith and finally, finally realizes that he’s still doing it. he’s still putting distance between them because he thinks that’s what keith should want, even though everything about keith says differently.
so he gets up. his clothing gets a good spray down as he pads inside, as well as his damp, yet mostly dry, hair. as he knocks his back to the tile and eases down to sit beside keith, shiro sighs, gently offering the two words he’s been dying to say for eons now. ]
I’m sorry. [ except, the apology isn’t for what happened two weeks ago. ] I’m complicating everything. [ and even as he says this, there’s a silent but, that he follows up with his explanation as to why he’s complicating everything. ]
Your forgiveness shouldn’t be this easy. [ a beat. ] I don’t know what I’m saying. [ back and forth, back and forth, he can’t seem to decide on a steady course. he frowns toward the center of the shower stall and draws up one knee, resting his forearm along it. ]
I just… I could’ve killed you. I don’t know how to accept that.
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i’m sorry.
the desire to laugh itches at the back of his throat, but it never amounts to anything because shiro doesn’t give him the time to process that on its own.
i’m complicating everything. your forgiveness shouldn’t come this easily.fuck is that supposed to mean? keith tries to ask, but instead makes a raw noise that’s wounded in its confusion. he doesn’t understand, and moreover apparently shiro doesn’t either. it should be funny. that itch in his throat is back, but when keith sucks down air for his next inhale, it comes out ugly on hitched breath and shaking shoulders.
one moment he’s there at the warehouse bringing his foot down on a jaw teeming with hundreds of swarming insects, the next he’s on the couch struggling to breathe through the pressure of metal fingers clamped tight around his throat. keith opens his eyes, giving himself a mental shake. ]
So what -- you want me to tell you to fuck off? I -- [ voice pinched and tight, keith keeps his face buried in his knees. ] Want me to tell you I was scared? What do you want?
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I don’t know. [ quiet, lost, just barely above being drowned out by the spray. ] I – retribution, maybe?
[ so the self-flagellation is winning out afterall. the problem here is that he can’t articulate what this punishment is meant to be. he doesn’t want keith telling him to fuck off, vowing to never see him again. but anything lesser than that seems inadequate in the light of what he – unknowingly – did. so he doesn’t know how to resolve this bitter, tormented feeling in his ribcage. according to keith, he shouldn’t even feel anything about it though, huh? he wasn’t in his right mind, like that makes everything that came after forgettable; that neither of them ever have to acknowledge it happened.
– isn’t that what shiro is doing with the drunken kisses?
shut up. one thing at a time. he blows out a breath and focuses on his arm slung over his knee, curling and uncurling those inhuman fingers. he supposes this all stems from – that. ]
I’ve gotten away with so much and never had to apologize for it. [ it could be argued that it wasn’t of his own volition then either. forced into a decision to kill or be killed, of course he chose the former, even if it came at the expense of murdering lesser, more defenseless creatures. his form of punishment? he straightens out his fingers, tilting his wrist to survey the splay and reach of each metal inch. is a ruined body enough? he’s not so sure. he still has a beating heart and air being pulled into his lungs; that’s far more than anything that can be said about those who cowered before him in the ring. ]
I don’t want this to be like that… I want you to take me seriously when I say I’m sorry, that I’d never want to…
[ hurt him, even though that seems to happen often, just never in the physical sense, huh? so no more brushing it off. no more avoiding it. no more pretending it’s no big deal. shiro has all the potential to be dangerous and it’s about time they create safeguards for that. he swallows and balls his fist, hardening his voice. ]
And if it ever happens again. If I’m never me… you take that knife of yours and you defend yourself to whatever end.
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he doesn't know what shiro's talking about. gotten away with so much? -- what? it should be easy to piece that together given time and room to breathe, but keith's ability to deal with anything has telescoped around his life in the last two weeks. forget the boars, forget adi, forget voltron, forget that whole awful year before shiro miraculously came back -- he just doesn't have the emotional capacity to process any of that right now.
not when the most important person in his life is effectively asking him to... ]
Are you insane?
[ the question comes out louder, sharper than intended and echoes sharply off the tiles. ]
I'm not fucking stabbing you. How could you even ask that? Is this seriously your idea of making amends?
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gloucester has come with an array of mental games, this past one being the most violent. shiro doesn’t doubt for a second that there will be other mind fuckerys in the future and likely not of the terrorizing, yet mostly harmless type that plagued them in the first couple of months. if shiro goes rogue… – he can’t do that. he can’t come to and find keith’s lifeless body.
so call him selfish. call him insane. but shiro isn’t backing down on this. ]
Listen to me. [ he matches keith’s intensity, voice still hard-edged and unwavering. he doesn’t look at keith, still staring at this goddamn curse of an arm. ] You can’t hesitate next time.
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Do you still have mold on you or something?
[ coming right off the heels of their last experience, it's likely a cheap shot but fuck if keith knows anything anymore. the warehouse had been full of ren in bits and pieces, in all of her insectoid friends -- how the hell is he supposed to rule out some lingering bullshit influence on her part? without warning, he snatches up shiro's flesh arm and turns it this way and that to look, still wearing a scowl on his face. ]
You said we're a team. You said we were going to handle everything together. You said all those things and now none of it matters?
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he allows keith precisely four seconds and three turns of his hand before shiro pulls it back, meeting keith’s scowl with a sour version of his own. ]
They still matter. [ but but but – ] But some things are out of our control.
[ not so optimistic any more, is he? as long as they believe in themselves and each other, they can overcome any obstacle: isn’t he always spouting off feel good inspirations like that to encourage everyone on? it’s time for a reality check. ]
This isn’t the route I want to take by any means. [ the harshness gives here some, punctuated by a weary sigh. ] I only want you to be prepared should the worst happen.
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that said, the slight give in shiro's tone is not one that's mirrored in keith's. while he doesn't yell, his tone is unyielding in its finality and the scowl stays locked in place. ]
And I am not entertaining the idea of stabbing you or cosigning anything to that effect. Did you come in here to make me feel worse or something? Cuz congrats -- mission accomplished, soldier.
[ exhaling slowly, keith adds just a touch less bitingly. ]
I really don't need you to strongarm me into some messed up consent to lethal force agreement right now. You said you were going to apologize. You could have stopped at I'm sorry.
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maybe shiro should leave.
there’s a dismissive tch on his part and the sound of metal hitting tile as he slams his right hand down, hefting his ass up. wait. that’s as far as he gets. he hangs in limbo like that, supported with a heavy lean to his right and weight up, for three, two, one…
he can’t run away. he’s done enough of that these past weeks.
so he lowers himself back down without a sound and decompresses as he goes: shoulders droop low and his head hangs lower too. staring at the stretch of room beyond the shower, shiro tries to organize his thoughts and formulate something to say. keith’s right? not wholly, but as that anxiety fueled frustration gives, he can begin to see how he approached this wrong. the plan is solid, the timing is not. so he won’t take any of it back, not yet, possibly not ever, but he can soften his tone, clear his scowl, and offer up a quiet: ]
I’m sorry.
[ end it there, right? that’s what keith wants? ]
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nut something happens to change shiro's mind and keith watches with a tired look in his eyes as his best friend sits back down. keith doesn't know if that's a good or bad sigh. is shiro staying to wear him down more or --
i'm sorry.
and then silence. keith bites his lip in some attempt to keep it from trembling. after everything he's said about feeling regretful and guilty over the fights he's picked and the destruction he's caused, shiro demanding that he cause more damage in some hypothetical clusterfuck had made it so abundantly clear that shiro hadn't been listening at all.
the silence here finally feels like some kind of breakthrough, but it doesn't feel like a victory. no, instead it feels like a shitty stalemate. face scrunching, keith lets the stream of water fill in the silence for a long ten seconds before breaking it. ]
I don't wanna argue, Shiro. I don't wanna fight anymore. You're my family. Can't we just... get along like we used to?
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Of course we can.
[ perhaps that isn’t true anymore, but shiro needs to believe that it is. they’ve kept it together all this time, despite the stressful, sometimes traumatic events they’ve gone through together and apart. they’ve kept calling each other family and best friend despite all the low points of their lives, the very ones they don’t talk about to each other. and they still love each other despite how they’ve both changed and are so very different from the two peas in a pod duo they were tearing down records at the garrison. if they’ve survived all that, surely they can overcome this as well.
and how best to ensure they right their course? heh. stop acting like any form of physical contact will have keith fracturing under his hands. so in the beat following those words, shiro slips his arm around keith, lining the span of his shoulders to grip his farthest one. he pulls keith in with gentle insistence and there, done, finally, he hugs him into his side. ]
You're my family too. [ a beat. ] And I care about you. [ he squeezes keith in a little more and ducks his head, knocking his cheek to wet hair. ]
So much that sometimes –... I go too far.
[ much too far. and not just in suggesting terrible scenarios. that drunken night had him pushing too far too, just to a very different end. ]
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keith sits this way, twisted and face buried. he should probably find something to say, but nothing comes readily. their friendship's survived a lot over the years including a government cover up and hostile aliens, but the beating it's taken of late is different from all that. how exactly do you recover from the knowledge that you're one mindhack away from murdering someone you love? killing ren was keith's entire answer to this, but then here's shiro who, in his own words, is complicating things. he heaves a deep sigh, fingers digging in tight, tighter at shiro's hip. ]
I know you care about me. [ it's offered up in whisper soft tones, barely audible over the running water. ] ...but sometimes I don't think you realize just how important you are to me.
[ a beat, the mumbled somewhat into shiro's sleeve. ]
Kinda stings.
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i’m sorry is on his tongue again but he presses his lips together to stem the kneejerk reaction. what would that be? the third time in less than five minutes? he breathes out on a sigh and tries to relax his body as much as he can in the tight grip keith has on him, to be a more comfortable anchor as keith tries to both hold shiro and bury himself into him. it would almost be sweet if the circumstances were so utterly fucked.
whose fault is that? i’m sorry. he closes his eyes and squishes an already squished keith into the press of his cheek, his other arm coming round to complete the embrace. words are failing shiro. what is he meant to say to that other than the obvious? they lapse into silence once more for a handful of ticks but soon, he musters breath and states a rather rueful: ]
I think I have a pretty good idea now.
[ misplaced humor finds its way into that and he quirks a half smile to it, feeling rotten and wrong. another breath and that smile flattens out, eyes cracking open to settle on the drain. ]
Can you – [ they slip out before he’s given them any thought. he’s prompt though. he shuts up just like that. ] Nevermind.
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there's a request before keith can mull that one over cmpletely -- only it gets cut off mid-way. he peeks up just enough to look at shiro with one eye.]
Hm? What is it?
[ self conscious, he assumes maybe it's a request to cling a little less. without confirming that, keith loosens up his fingers. better yet, maybe shiro wants to get out of the shower. ]
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… but he’s selfish. and hurting too. he’s replayed those words over and over, tormenting himself with the brittleness of keith’s breath and the panic in his eyes as he desperately tried to reach shiro.
he hates that the first time he said i love you to keith, keith was dying. and he hates that the first time keith said the same to him, keith was once again knocking on death’s door. shiro will never forget that, fuck, he’ll never forgive himself either but… maybe he can begin to move past it if he has a second chance at hearing it. he huffs a truly miserable sound, smiling weakly, even as apprehension keeps his features pinched. ]
Can you say I love you again?
[ he hopes keith understands. that this one time he reads between the lines and sees the why, because it takes everything in shiro to simply ask, all explanation and lead-up deserting him. ]
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Oh...
[ the flustered noise is out of keith’s mouth before he can think to stop it. even more damningly, there isn’t a follow up at the ready, again leaving running water to fill in a deafening gap. feeling very much like a deer caught in headlights, keith swallows and tries not to immediately duck away and hide his face. ]
I didn’t think... you cared?
[ but perhaps keith should have ended the thought at i didn’t think.. it’d be a blatant lie though, and not one keith thinks can survive any kind of cross examination through. of course it’d stuck with him that shiro s only reaction had been to snap the tendons in his hand and promptly return to another round of hermy the wormy.
or.. moldy shiro did. the real shiro hadn’t exactly brought it up either when he was clear headed. maybe there’d never been an opportune moment, but keith had just assumed this was just like the forgotten kisses after the festival. he swallows hard, dropping eye contact briefly to stare at shiro’s metal arm.
if he’s being honest he hasn’t felt the same way about that arm ever since that day, even if his feelings about the person it’s attached to are still much the same. pulling away very slightly, he does his best to hold eye contact without fidgeting. ]
... but of course I love you. [ a beat. nervousness gets the better of keith and he looks away sheepishly. ] That's been true for a really long time.
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so he sits through the beat of silence as keith oscillates on where to look, feeling a crushing sense of hopelessness the longer keith seems focused on his right arm. he shouldn’t have completed the embrace. he should have kept that thing away from him. though… as much as he’s been thinking of his prosthetic as the danger here, it’s all of shiro, really. the arm wrapped around keith’s shoulders? maybe that’s its own kind of weapon too. whatever happened in the living-room, however shiro reached inside keith… that can’t happen again, right? that was a cursed affliction of the mold, wasn’t it?
he’s been deluding himself for weeks now and he’s mostly convinced, but –
but of course i love you.
he exhales a breath he didn’t fully comprehend as being held and while the next breath is heavy, it’s somehow easier than a few moments ago. he’s – relieved? yes. that’s the emotion taking hold of him in rapid fashion. keith has been far too giving toward shiro for far too long now, so shiro didn’t actually think keith would deny him this request, but still. it hits home and it hits hard.
shiro straightens up a little more, wanting to see keith fully, needing to see him fully, to replace the image in his head of keith struggling beneath him, gaze full of absolute terror. having just thought about keeping his galra hand away from keith, it’s almost comical how easily shiro forgets in his rush to get those eyes back on him. he takes keith by the chin and – gently – forces his face toward him. a little nervous, a little sheepish, keith is far from the ideal, but it’s so much better than what shiro had before and instantly, shiro relaxes, throat once again feeling tight.
relief has his breath tumbling on a laugh. short. light. not more than a hiccup. and then he’s pushing keith’s wet bangs back. ]
I love you too.
[ that’s been true for a really long time too. forehead adequately cleared, shiro leans in and presses a kiss to keith’s skin, right there dead center, holding, holding, hold–… three seconds spent and he backs off, fervently promising: ]
I’m going to take better care of you from here on out. [ and. ] We’re gonna get through this.
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but he'd be lying if he said the galra arm was the only reason for the added skittishness. eyes locked on deep gray, keith swallows trying to silence every neuron in his head freaking out about the scant inches between their faces. shiro doesn't know. shiro doesn't remember. this isn't a prelude to kissing the way they did weeks earlier. heart racing, keith tries to keep his head blank of all thought, expression almost owlish as shiro bursts into relieved laughter and sweeps the hair away from his face.
ah. ah yes -- right. this is famiiliar. this is what they were doing before things got complicated and messy and tangled and --
i love you too
keith doesn't know what expression he's even pulling at this point, but maybe it doesn't matter because shiro closes the distance in that familiar way. hearing the words said back like that, looked right in the eye does a whole host of stupid things. a swoop in his stomach, a dull ache in his chest, then the flutter-flutter of warmth that starts to erode through whatever defenses keith had left in his system. stupid. shiro's said these words before ... but it hits different. maybe because they're both so fucking miserable and lonely.
the gentle pressure on his forehead lifts and keith looks up at shiro, daring for once to actually look at him longingly the way he did when he was sure shiro wasn't looking these past weeks. he doesn't smile -- not while part of him is just burning to force shiro to remember the night of the festival, but can he? should he? ]
Yeah?
[ his tone's gone wistful there as he glances down at his best friend's lips very briefly. ]
We're gonna take care of each other. No matter what, right?
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does keith want to kiss him? does shiro want to kiss him? he shouldn’t want to. that’s not the question. he thinks about it almost every night, of how they came together so easily with one kiss, two, keith falling asleep in his arms. maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it really was having the comforting presence of keith in his bed, but it was one of his better nights. no insomnia, no night terrors once exhaustion finally took him – it was such a good night in so many ways and yet, what did he do once he opened his eyes to keith soft-eyed with sleep and the worst case of bed head he’s ever seen? he cowered in the face of that little slice of paradise and denied himself of it without hesitation.
they hadn’t chose that for themselves. drink had been in their system. they’d been influenced. vulnerable. he couldn’t bring himself to collect on a lapse in keith’s judgment. and afterward? hours to days later of him mulling over his dishonesty? he meant to bring it up and talk through the elephant in the room of whatever has been brewing between keith and him, but again, fear had him pushing it off, always telling himself later. later became never after hermy the wormy and now they’re here. keith is the most important person to him here and back home, if shiro screws up this friendship with some misplaced desire…
so he doesn’t lean in. vulnerable repeats in his mind and he thinks of how keith’s emotions are rubbed raw right now. you’d be taking advantage of him. it’s with that thought that shiro once again tells himself later and goes the much safer route of smiling in that soft way of his, vowing with a repeat of: ]
Right. No matter what.
[ deal sealed, shiro tightens his arm to hold keith in for one last, firm squeeze and then relaxes his grip, arm releasing keith’s shoulder. ]
How about we start that by getting out of this shower and into some dry clothes? [ as much as he enjoys sticking it to adi by running up the water bill, they do need to get out at some point. better sooner than later seeing as keith’s been in here – what? over half an hour. he smiles encouragingly, giving keith a nudge with a bump of his shoulder and sweetens the prospect: ]
I made us some ramen. [ er. oh yeah, about that. actually – ] but… it’s probably cold by now. I can reheat it?
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he ought to be perfectly placated. we're going to take care of each other no matter what is a position diametrically opposed to use lethal force on me if you have to, but somehow he doubts the matter has actually been resolved. one way or another though, it's what keith wants to hear in the moment so he lets the issue drop. in much the same way that the non-issue of kisses is also dropped.
it's for the best. keith repeats the thought to himself, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach. they're family. family don't kiss like that. and moreover, everything's a fucking mess right now. when will it ever not be a mess? is the logical question that comes up, but of course it can't be given any room to breathe. what is happening instead is a shoulder nudge and the offer of cold ramen. he swallows, forcing a tiny half smile. he isn't hungry really, but this is at least a step towards normalcy. ]
Okay. [ he breathes out, then slowly gets to his feet. ] ... But I still need to wash my hair, so....I'll see you in a bit?
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keith assured him he hadn’t fallen. it wasn’t unsteady legs that had keith huddled into himself on the floor, no, the culprit was an unsteady mind. still, now that they’ve, more or less, weathered the turmoil and righted the mess of the warehouse, as well as the mess between them, shiro is reluctant to let keith out of his sight. keith had made himself sick not too long ago; what if he gets caught up in his head and feels queasy or hopeless again? shiro knows what that’s like, when solitude turns volatile and every terrible memory and insecurity surfaces to ravage the mind.
when there’s no one nearby to act as an anchor, it’s easy to get lost.
but – shiro hesitates on overstaying his welcome. keith’s dismissed him, so shiro should trust keith to know himself and take care of himself in such a minimal task, right? ]
Okay… [ he gets as far as shuffling to the other side of the stall, once again at the doorway, freshly sprayed. there are two towels hanging from the towel rack and he really ought to be grabbing one for a quick wipe down, but he can't help asking: ]
You’ll… be alright?
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he shouldn't be looking. that much is obvious, but keith is slow to drop his gaze and squirt shampoo into his hand. ]
Yeah, I'll be fine.
[ it's a quiet reply though as keith grapples with himself over whether or not to be honest. there's arguably been too much of that already and it's already led to one narrowly avoided argument. but then again, maybe that's just a reason to get it all over with so they can actually start fresh tomorrow. he worries at his lip before looking up again. ]
...Can I ask something?
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a brotherly ending.