demonicmiracle: (110)
anthony crowley ([personal profile] demonicmiracle) wrote in [community profile] apocalypsehowcomm2022-03-03 08:23 pm

(log) march catch-all

Who: crowley + others
When: throughout the month
Where: all kinds of places
Summary: a collection of various threads so I don't spam the comm
Warnings: Gonna be a dead body in at least one thread, will update with others if necessary
oldbookshop: (tfw u remember ur bookshop is gone)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-10 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
[ Aziraphale puts that up to the mutual reassurance category given current context. It's been a time all around. He's relatively certain that he's fresh out of offense to take if it's not offense taken with an Entity.

In any event, Aziraphale has put far too much mileage into being accidentally or purposefully condescending over the years to be able to judge. Which is really to say it doesn't sound fun or fulfilling to poke an argument about something right now. Nothing sounds especially fun right now, though.

Sleeping for three days sounds broadly appealing and worth a revisit. Maybe Crowley's been right about that all along.

He offers a wordless hum of acknowledgement, initially, seeing as he's halfway through a little visual sweep of the area. An angel can be a safety detail when they want to be. As though there would be any actual putting a stop to a second round. It's the principle of the matter, sometimes. ]


Dreadful city, isn't it.

[ Nice things about London, there are no eldritch terrors feeding on their psyches, and there's always a play on to talk about when things are strained. ]
oldbookshop: (whatever i needed this icon)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-10 11:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh thank God. Crowley is still a veritable hero. Aziraphale doesn't bother swallowing back a relieved sigh.

His conversational well was looking too dry to be sustainable.

The continued contact is enough. Being allowed that with no questions asked. Best case scenario it's helpful for Crowley too somehow, worst case scenario he expects it isn't verging past a minor inconvenience, given the circumstances.

(He sort of doubts that it's the latter at all.)

It's a slow drain of tension the closer they get to properly known territory, the longer they go without incident. He's always been partial to the comfort of the familiar, if for no other reason right now than considering it an acceptably private space in which to let his good posture lapse.

Crowley's question gets what is either a pause for thought or a pause while it fully registers. ]


Whichever number means I'm flattered, but would rather you didn't. [ A bit on moral grounds, a bit on feeling uncharitable towards the care and feeding of any Entity, no matter to what end.

Mostly, if Aziraphale is entirely honest, because he suspects he is not in a place to gracefully handle Crowley popping out anywhere at this particular juncture. Still sort of has to pad those sharp edges out again, now they've been stripped down.

But he will add, in the spirit of not wanting to sound like he doesn't sincerely appreciate the willingness: ]


If things don't seem to be manageable, I'm sure I'll consider my options.
Edited (me half asleep copy pasting my emailed notes from work 2022) 2022-04-10 11:05 (UTC)
oldbookshop: (all creatures...... gr8 and small)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-11 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Good. Good. No need for another debate while neither of them has the energy for it. This would be a poor time to be at odds.

He hasn't got the heart for it.

It's making very clear sense right now why Crowley's Alpha Centauri plans were so quickly tossed back out the window. Changes the perspective, really.

Aziraphale squeezes back. ]


Thank you. [ For the hand holding. For the truce on arguing. For not really being dead, possibly, regardless of any bearing Crowley himself even had on the matter. Preemptively for helping. All of the above.

Crowley taking a minute or two in the same flat is much better as an option. That's a silver lining. He's already getting back into practice. ]


Take your time. I'll be here.

[ Gives him time to hang his coat and brace himself. On some level, somewhere, he's already grateful to have what he'd consider a healthy pain tolerance for an angel of his station. Fine thing it would be to wind up making Crowley feel guilty for lending a hand.

Actually, maybe he'll just handle the worst initial part of this band-aid pull while Crowley is out of the room. He expects that's going to be the bit that verges towards the upper end of tolerable. The inherent task of unfolding wings to get them back out is homophobic design. ]
oldbookshop: (tfw u remember ur bookshop is gone)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-11 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ The sounds of someone rummaging around for supplies is something that can be so comforting. A free Crowley tracker during the stretch where his own only real agenda is controlled breathing.

It's still good to have him back in the same space. Even if he has the sheer audacity to know Aziraphale well enough to preempt his proto-British sensibilities. Aziraphale reminds himself to have a minor huff about it later, which he promptly forgets. ]


Well. I doubt I'd be all that coherent if either of them were broken, so that's one point in our favor. [ Call that good luck, because he really doubts he'd have gotten reasoned with or herded into a taxi in that event. Would have been taking up too much real estate. This is just him buying time while he susses out something more concrete. All a matter of just information.

It'll be the least mortifying mortifying ordeal he's contributed to within the past half a day. ]
But I'll admit it's not-- not pleasant. Very grabby lot. Not inclined to be gentle about these things, if you can imagine.

[ Which is dreadful. He'd sort of expected some pulling would be the case, though, going in. They were a touch more of a bitey lot than he'd strictly expected, too, but those are the risks one takes. ]
oldbookshop: (could you please repeat that)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-12 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, wouldn't have made a difference, really. [ In any event, now he does know it. He'd have gone about it the same way regardless. Would do if it happened again tomorrow. Can't imagine not doing it.

He supposes he should be grateful that he wasn't able to make quick work of his physical form in the aftermath, though, in hindsight. That would have been a much heftier fix. This is a little bit the lesser of two evils, technically speaking.

Crowley being very sweet and careful is something that can be so personal. ]


Perfectly alright. It's only you. [ Much like the list of individuals who he might be willing to allow to know he's in a poor state in the first place, let alone get their hands involved. Only the one name on it. ] You'll step back if you need a break?

[ It sounds like a question, but it's him being bossy. ]
oldbookshop: (anthony?)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-12 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[ If his wings weren't having a poor time of things right now, this could be quite nice. Soothing, even.

Maybe it still is, a bit. Rhythmic and methodical, relatively predictable. The sustained contact of it, too, as much as anything. Smooths down another jagged metaphorical nerve. They're safe. Safe enough, at least. Closed up ranks somewhere familiar. Crowley is right here, in one piece. Nothing more than an Entity getting out of hand.

Aziraphale offers a flat little hm, the very picture of well-curated disappointment. The audacity of his own body part. ]


Better to just pull it. Save the trouble. [ And the time, and the probable future itch. ] I promise not to, um. Knock you over.

[ There's no such thing as a good reaction to having a feather pulled out, strictly speaking, but dignified enough not to try to flap Crowley across the room is an acceptable level in its stead. ]

Quick as you like.
oldbookshop: (oh we sad on main now)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-13 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
Absolutely embarrassing for the both of us. [ A powerful team of getting knocked around by wings and not having enough self-control to avoid knocking someone around with wings. Unacceptable.

The distraction tactic does its due diligence. Aziraphale holds no illusion about the fact that, between the two of them, he tends to be more the goer-on. But it's usually nice to listen to Crowley talk about something. Very practical and straightforward, right now.

He keeps himself contained to what he would consider an acceptable twitch when the time comes. Not so bad. Low end of the scale for the day, really. Leaving it in would have been more of an irritant in the long-term. ]


Much obliged.

[ He is out here pulling from his rolodex of reasonable polite responses. It cannot be stopped. ]

Of course, as much as I appreciate that you know what you're doing, I do wish you hadn't had to learn.

[ Because if being unable to change the past or the overall nature of some parts of reality were enough to stop him from wishing, he'd have been done in ages ago. And it is, in that roundabout way they manage, a little sharing of self, for Crowley to go about it the way he is, to explain things the way that he is. ]
oldbookshop: (wtf where'd this snake come from)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-13 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ World's most valiant effort to not make a 'press X to doubt' noise: successful. There are times for pushing a point and times for not pushing a point, and this is arguably not one of the times for pushing.

He's been trying to avoid doing just that for the past couple of weeks.

No point to getting Crowley upset if he knows he can avoid it. ]


It does seem like an inconvenient design element, doesn't it. [ He scrunches his nose. Never mind that Crowley can't see it. This distaste is for him, including the tut. ] Just as well that's not the case now. I think I might be properly cross if I were dripping on the floor.

[ And it takes energy, being actually legitimately angry. As... evidenced, he supposes.

He really can't fathom having the reserves for it right this second, when things are mostly settled into scraped-out and raw. ]
oldbookshop: (imagine if we'd been 1% competent)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-13 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Very thoughtful of you. [ If he had his druthers, nothing attached to this corporation would have the audacity to get blood anywhere. Tanking some damage has a very different vibe when one can miraculously heal at a thought as opposed to this whole mess.

He supposes he should count himself lucky that his coat looked mostly unscathed when he was hanging it. Nothing a dry-clean shouldn't fix.

Aziraphale is not immune to feeling comforted by the offered comfort in the meantime. It's nice. A very new avenue, of course, but he's always been a comfort fan.

He tips his head back a little, one of the least practical ways to angle in a vaguely Crowley-ward direction. But he doesn't want to turn around. Imagine not batting someone away when they pull a feather and then knocking them over trying to turn around to look at them. Absolutely not. ]


If it helps, I did rather suspect that would be the case. [ They hurt anyway. Better the reassurance of knowing they're clean. He folds his hands, for ease of discreet squeezing access. ] Won't hold it against you.

[ He doubts Crowley was worried about that specifically in forewarning him. Still, though. ]
oldbookshop: (could you please repeat that)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-14 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ Hmm.

To put it both mildly and eloquently: ow. He thinks he may not be a fan of this at all. At least 'endurance for the greater good' has always been a little bit part of the job description. Fine mental bolster.

Aziraphale keeps any noise to a minimum, barring a handful of sharp inhales he can't quite get a handle on, one or two instinctive attempts to draw a wing back in tight that he has to quickly abort. It's a weirdly fair distraction from the harder bits, concentrating on trying not to kick up too much fuss about something necessary.

If his fingers feel a bit stiff from repeated squeezing when it's done, that's his business. ]


Oh, it feels fine. Better than before. Thank you. [ He almost absently brings a hand up to rest over Crowley's, gives it a squeeze in return. ] Might need a moment, if it's all the same.

[ What is a good take a moment goal if not to flex out some professionally suppressed jitters. If the worst is over then he doesn't need to have them on retainer. ]
oldbookshop: (im babey)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-14 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ How very elephant in the room of him. It's probably only fair. Or maybe unfair, to say that sort of thing with a gentle hand, to have said-- said what he said, with all the sincerity in the world in the moment, and then to come back around after and reiterate.

Some part of Aziraphale seizes up around that alone, sort of grinds to a halt, like he's been given something far too delicate and far too important and simultaneously far too large to safely hold.

"She never deserved you."

He'd be lying if he said he had any idea what to do with it. ]


I know. [ He doesn't know what to do with it, but he can at least admit to this much. That he knows it was honest. And, to that end: ] So did I.

[ How do you add, without overstepping, it was unbearable, it was like being torn open, I tried every way I could to burn out of myself but it didn't work and being trapped with it was nearly as bad as losing you in the first place?

He's not certain he knows. The definition of overstepping, all that.

There's an ache in his throat that he can't swallow back. That would only be his business if it didn't strain his tone. ]


I missed you.
oldbookshop: (better not.)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-15 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ This is objectively rather unbecoming. Not the sort of feeling he ought to wallow in, when he knows full well he'll be repeatedly getting caught up on it going forward and likely won't be stopping to wallow in it then. Undignified, for an angel.

Crowley thought he was dying, and here he's had to run damage control since the moment that broke him out of the hallucination. Try to keep Aziraphale from laying waste to passersby with a bent umbrella, probably. Patch him up. Offer comfort, offer affection. Unfair to him to keep asking.

There's no layer of excusing or plausible denial thick enough to keep up the internal pretense that Crowley might be doing any of this as an obligation, that he's always been doing it in the absent way of a person who would do the same for anybody.

Crowley mostly just does these things because Crowley loves him.

On the scale of things clicking into place and truths being spoken today, it's not the most difficult one. Kindness without condition. A space where the odd crack in veneer being noticed doesn't necessarily call for dread.

Aziraphale isn't so lost to his general concept of acceptable dignity or complicated selfishness algebra that he pulls away. He gets a careful hold of Crowley's arm, instead, absorbs the relief that comes with closeness. It's nice. ]


Of course you are.

[ He doesn't expect that the wariness will be a quick thing to pack away again in full, or the lingering sort of itch to be certain he remembers precisely where he put that sword just in case, but the-- desolation, that tapers out more into a harsh memory than an active pain by the moment. Which does make everything much easier to breathe around.

So Aziraphale indulges in it for a bit. Takes his minute with it. Takes a nice, controlled breath. ]


Right. The sooner we're finished up here, the sooner we can have a rest.

[ Mutually beneficial, getting to the point where they can have an official rest. Crowley might like to get off his feet again by now. ]
oldbookshop: (tfw u remember ur bookshop is gone)

[personal profile] oldbookshop 2022-04-16 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Crying averted. Another successful day on the books. He'll see how the night goes, but that can be a problem for later.

It was nice, though. Well, it is nice.

It would, he thinks, probably be very nice to touch Crowley for reasons beyond necessity or the aftermath of something terrible. Maybe he can... work on that. There are a lot of things on his list of things to work on when it comes to the Crowley situation specifically.

There's no real knowing how much time they have left for-- this, whatever it is they could call it. He can't skim over the idea of the same thing happening again. How much would have been left unsaid.

He's always been a bit of a coward about this.

When he's back to being a little better at proper thought, maybe he ought to turn it over.

For now he heaves a very genuine sigh of relief over having his feathers cleared of blood.

There's a different, more complicated level of relief in knowing that it's only his blood that's been drying. Less... less mess. Less to think about. ]


That's much better, thank you.

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