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network | text | open

Who: Jeff
Username: freakscene
Warnings: Potential references to body horror, loss of self

hey can anyone give me some weasle advise

like taking care of weasles. what they eat and what kind of house they need stuff like that...

(they get along with cats right? i mean their kinda like little slinky cats)

anyway the adi wont let me keep dave (from acounting) til i have a good setup for him and i figure you guys gotta know a lot about weasles after all that crazy crap at the museum
so help a guy out. do it for dave!

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[Oh boy.]

Why do you wanna keep Dave from accounting?

cuz hes my friend

[ Dave is not Jeff's friend. Dave thinks Jeff's a walking headache. ]

and hed be happier at bonnies with me and macaroni anyway
i mean whats the alternative? being stuck in some adi lab?

Who the fuck is Dave?

[The amount of time she spends even thinking about "accounting" is divisible by zero. You can't just grow money? Cringe.]

cmon you know dave
everyone knows dave
he was the guy wearing dress shorts and a polo on the 9 hr bus ride
had a fannypack?

Whose idea was it to bring accountants to the death museum?
Anyway, I feel like if you're looking for a human pet, you can probably do a bit better than that guy.

he was in charge of giving out allowences

[ per diem, he means ]

anyway daves cool
weve got an inside joke where i call him my sugar daddy and he makes a face and tells me not to 😊

did you know he collects misprinted trading cards?

[ anyway, enough Dave facts ]

besides its not like hes human NOW
its more like hed be my weasle roommate

Edited 2023-03-28 10:38 (UTC)

Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense.

Hm.

I mean, I'll be honest, I don't think they're going to agree no matter what you do. They're kind of sticklers about this stuff.

It's probably not that different from keeping a cat or something though. So just do that.

Edited 2023-03-28 10:41 (UTC)

...You're keeping a person trapped inside a weasel in your room?

[Just to be clear.]

[F in the chat for Dave]

Oh.

Welp.

He probably would be happier than being at an ADI lab, but...I don't know, don't you get skeeved out thinking about how he used to be a human? It's like having a ghost. A really furry ghost.

I can hardly claim to have personal experience with them. But as I recall, they are a variety of predator - though I would assume they favor smaller prey.

Do you really think having a pet is a wise idea?

no the adi took him 😔
but they said i could keep him if i got a good setup for him

ok cool so its like having a cat
so like
cat food should work as good as small prey then right?

why not? i mean ive already got one cuz my old roomie got a cat then vanished
then the guy who was coparenting the cat with her vanished

[ RIP Abby and Jack, wherever you are ]

ive already got a cat
you see the naked one hanging around at bonnies? thats macaroni. she used to belong to jack and abby

anyway i just wanted to look after dave cuz it sucks enough to turn into a weasle
but to turn into a weasle AND get stuck in some adi lab or zoo or whatever is even worse

[ Yeah, Jeff's a real humanitarian-- er, weaseltarian here. Totally pure motives. Definitely doesn't just want to hold onto the man-weasel for the horror of it. ]