apocalypsehowcomm | [LOG] March Counselling Sessions [Open]

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[LOG] March Counselling Sessions [Open]

Who: Elidibus and Anyone
When: March
Where: ADI HQ, Bonnie's, Video Calls, Home Visits?!
Summary: The Counseling Department is here for you! Welcome the new peer specialist.
Warnings: Therapy sessions, mental health issues, related talk. Implications that however helpful Elidibus is being, he also may have ulterior motives.

As March begins in earnest, notices begin to be issued to the Fear-touched. You may have received this directly through the ADI's internal Network, a letter through the postal service, in an email, to your work desk or maybe all of these options! HR is nothing if not thorough. Others may have seen a flyer or posting at appropriate locations or by word of mouth through a friend, co-worker or receptionist if they happened to visit the headquarters one day. Eventually the flyer will make its way to Bonnie's flophouse- and some may even have a chance to run into the newest member of the team it mentions.

Needless to say there is plenty of reason to have received the news in some fashion.

[ OOC - How it Works: Will repost this around the beginning of each month with little changes based on availability or current events. ICly, 'Assessment' or 'First Time' appointments probably asked to be done 'in office' but can be handwaved as having already happened. Or wildcarded as a special case. Invite Elidibus into your home. You know you want to! TLDR: Everything mentioned is a general guideline. Exceptions can always be made, just let me know. ]

1. Friday Office Appointments - [Open to Assessment/One on One Talk]

Did you come in for an assessment? Or just a one on one talk? The office you will find yourself brought to is a comfortable space. A gentle light, the soft hum of a whitenoise generator and when the door is closed, the sounds of the work environment beyond are almost non-existant to human ears.

"Please have a seat," Elidibus offers. He will wait until his visitor has made himself comfortable. A young human male in appearance, he has a calm and patient demeanor about him. Though there is a small desk in the corner, he won't be sitting there. Laptop and notebook are eschewed in favor of simply sitting and facing the other person.

"How would you like to begin?" Introductions? What you are here for? The floor is yours.

2. Video/Telehealth Appointments [ Can be scheduled Mon-Thurs One on One Talk/Counseling/Optional Assessment ]

For the most part, Elidibus prefers to have an in-person visit for the first appointment. But not everyone can have their Fridays free (plus there's only so many timeslots) and there are some who might feel... better if they didn't have to come into the ADI at all, even for assessment. Elidibus is willing to make the time for them and one of those options is a secure video call.

A secure and well-known application is used, adding a layer of (questionable?) privacy away from the ADI's internal network system. After all the computer being used was issued by the agency and any good IT could tell you that the internet routers can be monitored. But hey, maybe you aren't that paranoid. Perhaps you just want to talk and don't care who might know what.

"Good afternoon." Elidibus is framed on the camera in front of a plain white wall. The soft sound of a white noise generator may hum in the background but this just adds to the sense of privacy on his end. "Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today."

3. Crisis Hotline

Elidibus is willing to take his turn at being on call. Sometimes during the day, sometimes at the wee hours of the morning, if you were to call the crisis line you might hear his light baritone voice on the other end.

"Hello, you have reached the ADI crisis helpline. I am Elidibus. May I have your name?"

4. Encounter At Bonnie's

While the ADI handles a great deal of the paperwork involved in sending out memos to current employees and those benefiting directly their housing initiative, there's still some places that need a bit of personal footwork if Elidibus is to encourage as many as possible to approach him for counseling.

And so there's a day during the week shortly after normal 9-5 working hours, that a youngish man looking to be in his early twenties is found at Bonnie's. After getting permission to do so, he's to be found affixing the flyer where it'll be noticed.

"Good afternoon," would be a greeting if someone pauses nearby. After all the flyer speaks for itself.

5. Wildcard!

[ Non-appointments, encounters, housecalls, reluctant people in need! Elidibus acting in capacity of a counsellor/advisor/listener. PM me if you have ideas. ]

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"Oh, hey, dude."

Jeff pauses to look at the flyer, then looks at the guy. He squints a little, staaares, then:

"Whoa. That dude in the flyer looks kind of like you."

His attention drawn, Elidibus waits for Jeff to finish the comparison. He is patient and gives off an air of polite courtesy.

"Yes, I am the one pictured on the flyer. My name is Elidibus."

There is no judgement in his words, despite the apparent obviousness about the young man's revelation.

"Are you interested in attending counseling?"

Phew, good thing he's patient, because Jeff's the sort who definitely needs patience. (And who frequently tries patience, though it's hard to say whether that's deliberate or not...)

"Elidibus. Right on. I'm Jeff." He flashes a lazy smile, then looks at the flyer again, reading a few lines.

"Counseling? Oh, nah, I'm good, man. Totally copacetic." Very sane, no troubles at all. "I bet you got a lot of patients already."

Elidibus makes a mental note to look up 'copacetic'. Fluency in English doesn't cover every variance of slang and there are still some words he's learning. It seems safe enough to think Jeff means he's good.

"Or a place to simply talk," the man qualifies. But he has no issue with taking the young man's assurance at face value. Not everyone is in dire need of counseling and let's face it. While Jeff may need some patience so he has the freedom to express himself the easy going and laid back manner is far from suggesting there's a crisis to panic over.

"Hm, I have only just had an office arranged for appointments. And these notices have been sent." Maybe Jeff will get something in the mail as well at some point. Who knows.

"But I will do what I can for those who do come. Have you been in this city very long?"

"They could probably use it. Shit gets messy here," he says, casual as a shrug. And sure, Jeff probably needs therapy more than just about anyone else here, but as far as he's concerned it's a they problem, and absolutely nothing that affects him.

"Mm..." Time to think. "I dunno, man, I got here a year ago? More, I guess, but..." Another shrug, and he shoots the other man a wry smile as if to say what're you gonna do. "Time's always kinda funky. Sometimes it feels like I've always been here, you know?"

Anyway!

"I kinda went off the grid for a while, like, did a whole cross country road trip. Can you believe this crap with the ADI really is the best that this world has to offer? Fucking wild, dude..."

Elidibus can only nod to suggest he understands (or at least accepts) Jeff's summary of time. Time is not as linear as one might expect (funky if you will) and he's had more than ample time recently to discover many of its varied nuance, all bittersweet and painful as it might be.

What are you going to do indeed.

"I would be surprised," Elidibus admits. That the ADI is the best out of all options. Though it's not necessarily a falsehood either. For a moment the youthful visage expresses thought, even serious speculation on Jeff's opinion. If nothing more it seems very clear the silver haired man is listening and not simply brushing it all off.

"Though those who know secrets of magicks and the extraordinary upon this star are inclined to keep it hidden. It would be difficult to find resources. I commend you for taking on such an onerous task. Did you find aught the size or scale of the ADI in your travels?"

“Um. I guess I’d like to know what your background is. You know. Education, experience. How and why you got into this line of work,” Malcolm responds as he settles into his chair.

A fair question. One Elidibus has expected some to ask, particularly the astute but certainly no few who would be hesitant to bare their souls to a stranger under normal circumstances.

Which this is certainly not.

"I would first ask your understanding. If you were to ask someone from my star, there is no true equivalent to the professions you would find in this department. Healing of the mind and heart oft fall under the purview of general medicine. And in some cases it is a malaise certain magicks can dispel."

Elidibus has taken a seat opposite Malcom and holds himself with a confident, professional dignity. There's no slouching or relaxation, nor does he appear to be the sort to fidget much or cross his legs. But he is not stiff and has a certain air that suggests he is only explaining. This is no prevarication to defend himself.

"Because of the laws governing this country, my role in this department is titled as 'peer support' and I have undergone their training for that role. I have also passed several exams which test my capabilities were I able to receive official certification."

There is a moment's thoughtful pause as Elidibus determines the best way to summarize his education and experience before finally beginning with a brief warning.

"My education and experience will take some context to cover because of the differences between this star and my own. But if a summary were to suffice, then my education was sufficient to place me in one of the most important leadership positions for my people, even at an early age. Many of my duties required the same skills ideal for members of the staff here."

It may seem like he's being purposefully vague. Yet he said from the first that there was no true equivalent to this profession. Perhaps not the whole truth as he has seen many civilizations pass in his lifespan, but it's true enough, both for his past and that world at its present. And the youthful looking man does appear to be open to go into more detail.

"As to how and why... that would depend on whether you speak of my original duty or the role I fill here."

"The role you fill here." Not that he doubts that wherever this guy comes from is interesting and all. He's interested in whether he can accept therapy here.

Elidibus nods. He has absolutely no problem focusing on the current how and why and there is no sign he is relieved not to have to talk about the past. And though he probably has anticipated a question like this being asked and has an idea of how to approach it, like all good things he first pauses to think and make sure that answer is still the appropriate one.

"For the practical, it is because this is one place where my talents best lie. While we find ourselves part of this star, we must adapt to living as a part of it and among its people. To those of us who have chosen to defy our summoners, it may be something as small as the determination to live as free of fear as we may. For myself, I am in a privileged position to offer support through guidance. Whether that allow someone to live a normal life or to share some burden of pain caused in a direct confrontation with the monsters that would besiege us."

There is a moment where Elidibus turns away to look out the room's window. It's one with a view of the bay when the blinds are open and quite nice even when cloudy. Before he speaks again, he turns back to Malcolm.

"On a personal level, being able to speak with those willing allows me to know more of them and this star through the unique perspectives of each individual. Whether native or one of those pulled from another realm, the more support I can offer. As well as come to know what role I may ultimately play."

With this, Elidibus intends to cement his acknowledgement that he is not just an observer, indifferent to the people he might counsel, but one who is as much tied up in the events as anyone who might seek him out.

"So you're still sort of... experimenting?" Malcolm clarifies.

Elidibus shakes his head. "No," he offers with certainty and patience. "As I have mentioned, I fully qualify for this role and I will work to fulfill it to the best of my abilities. But my skills are such that they may lend themselves well to other fields of expertise. In time I may learn I am better suited for another duty on this star. Or perhaps I will remain tasked to this one.

Or maybe he will do both.

Though he has allowed Malcolm the full floor when it came to questions, it is at this point he asks one of his own, turning a keen gaze on the other man.

"May I ask why you chose to come see me?" There are surely others on staff. Natives, ones with education and certifications properly suited to this world. And likely with the addition of an impressive resume in working on cases dealing with the Dread Powers.

It's as though Elidibus mildly curious about why he has been singled out, particularly in light of such an obvious interview of his qualities and qualifications.

"I've already assessed them. Ages ago. You're new. Thought I'd check you out."

He has yet to find one he'll speak to about his issues. It's not personal. Back home, he was still seeing the child psychologist he started going to when he was eleven.

"See if you're suitable."

Elidibus takes a moment to close his eyes and think on the answer before nodding. Once his eyes are open he responds to Malcolm.

"I take no offense. In the end, it is ultimately your choice whether or not to accept any guidance I may offer even should you decide I am suited to your needs."

After another minute to think- more on what best to offer next- Elidibus offers.

"Pray inform me how else may I facilitate your assessment then."

Malcolm considers his most recent near-breakdown.

He looks at Elidibus.

"Do you have any experience with grief counselling?"

Elidibus closes his eyes again when he nods his affirmation.

"I have counseled countless, both lost and grieving." His words are solemn and heavy with the weight of one who recognizes the benefit of having had that experience while taking no joy that someone had to suffer for him to accrue it.

"In some cases I was able to offer some measure of solace. For others, my all was not enough." He has experienced failure and success. There is a hint of genuine emotion with the words. Elidibus seems to genuinely regret what he could not accomplish, even though it is clear by being here he has not given up on his ability to help others.

“Some close friends of mine here………… most of my close friends here… disappeared. My roommates, my mentor, my sister… just about everyone. But two were still here: my boyfriend Neal and my friend George. A couple months ago, George was killed doing his work for ADI. I found his body. Almost the next day, one of my friends returned. Then another. Then another. But I’m still struggling with it. George’s death, but not just George’s death. It’s like it opened an existing wound and I still feel empty, even with my life filled back up,” Malcolm tells him.

Elidibus has paused to think before answering Malcolm's questions and the same holds true when there are none implicitly spoken. It's as if each exchange is to be given its own personal validation. Yet in fairness it would be especially needed now that the subject has shifted to something other than a recitation of Elidibus's resume.

Still that's not to say this isn't also part of the assessment. The Ancient is well aware that it probably is a test of what he will respond with. Which he now does with a brief nod.

"I have witnessed loss in many forms. Seen the grief of it handled in countless fashion. But rarely would its impact be diminished in such a short span of time as a handful of months. And I have yet to witness it fade into such nothingness that no trace of it would remain."

Not even if memory of it had disappeared. But that too was a loss, wasn't it?

"I would ask whether you feel more focused on the advent of George's death or the disappearance of your friends and kin?" Elidibus then queries.

"I don't know if it's one or the other. It started with one and then... the other was the tipping point. I used to... I liked it better here than at home. I had more friends. I had... a relationship. I had.... stability. But the stability has been robbed and I just feel off-balance all the time. I know I can turn around and anyone can just... be gone again. One way or another," Malcolm explains.

It is nearly a textbook example of the concept that is the impermanence of all things. Though those who wrote about such philosophy would likely not have expected it to manifest in this manner in reality.

"A cascade of loss, without time to process each in turn," Elidibus speaks as though half musing the summary even while he voices it. In truth he is very familiar with sudden abrupt losses... and those which seem to come one after another. One wouldn't be able to easily tell from his outward manner however. The focus seems, as ever, on Malcolm's concerns rather than Elidibus's own.

"Stability may be lost at this time. Yet you mention your boyfriend did not disappear. When mention your relationship in the past tense, is this the one you speak of? Or was there once another before him?"

“No. No, there’s only Neal. I meant I had all those things at that time. I still have that one thing. For a little while, Neal was the only thing I had left,” Malcolm explains.

"It seems he is an anchor," Elidibus answers. It is spoken as a simple truth. But probably not an easy one. "As you are undoubtedly to him."

This... seems an easy thing to measure about Malcolm, simply by what he's learned from the questions and answers. Elidibus gazes at the other man with blue eyes that might be a little uncanny to someone who is not used to seeing a luminescent irises.

"But within such incertainty it is easy to harbor doubts." Of their compatibility? Their bond?

"Do you fear losing him above all?"

"Sometimes. I mean. My identity has always sort of been tied to the context of someone else. Neal is a lot better for me than the last person, but... I guess I'm afraid of what I would be if I were alone," Malcolm tells him. "Like I need to have an anchor, even more than most people, because I don't know what will happen if I drift off course. Bad things, maybe."

For a moment, Elidibus observes Malcolm. Just one of those small pauses that suggests he's mulling over what was said.

"This identity you fear so..." The one Malcolm avoids by tying himself to someone else. "Have you yet to experience it firsthand?"

"I've seen glimpses of it. Had tastes," Malcolm tells him grimly.

Elidibus nods before tilting his head to one side.

"Pray tell me of who you would be, then. As much as you are willing."

It is only right to ask is it not? To understand what it is Malcolm fears becoming so much that he fears losing the people he ties himself too.

Elidibus gives no hint of pressure. 'As much as willing' means just that. And 'not at all' is certainly an option.

“When I was sixteen, a bully in my class at school locked me in a janitor’s closet right at the start of a school holiday. I was trapped in there for three days without food or water. When I got out, I almost killed him. And when I say I almost killed him, I don’t mean that I saw him and lost control in the heat of the moment. I premeditated his murder and carried it out and only pulled back just in time to save him from what I’d just done to him,” Malcolm explains.

Elidibus doesn't look shocked. Or taken aback, surprised or horrified either. Either he's quite good at hiding such things like a true professional or he's had experience hearing of worse confessions. Merely thoughtful for a moment, the silver-haired man then asks.

"Why did you decide to stop your revenge before the child's death?"

“I’m not a killer. That’s the only thing I have that I know I want to be,” Malcolm tells him.

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[LOG] March Counselling Sessions [Open]

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[LOG] March Counselling Sessions [Open]

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*slinks in old backthread tag* ;_;

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slinks in old backthread tag ;_;