Spirits! [Rue huffs, rolling their eyes, but they don't appear to be too upset.] You're impossible! I'm an owlbear. I'm neither a 'fuckoff huge owl' nor a 'monster'. Just an owlbear!
At least I'd be able to seek out a barber to begin with. There aren't any on the compound, are there? It's a good thing you've got this glamor—you'd be shit out of luck otherwise.
[ As Rue lets out a little huff, Hickey looks annoyingly smug. Victory! Victory by his own weird nonexistent metrics, but victory! ]
Now Rue. I'm a guest at your little get-together. I'm sure there's an etiquette rule somewhere about the host not blatantly insulting the guest like that.
You really haven't been invited to many parties, have you?
[A little pointed, sure, but where Rue comes from, a little insulting is expected. In fact, before their grand reveal, there's no doubt that some fey would have taken it as a badge of honor to be insulted by Delloso de la Rue. The fey are a strange people indeed.]
It matters not. I have neither the time nor the pictures to explain this to you. But I will remind you that you are indeed my guest and I expect you to play nicely with the others in attendance. Insult me all you like, but if you dare ruin this day for Mercy, I will see to it that you never see the inside of another festival or party in this place again.
I'm not an asshole. [ At least, not THAT kind of asshole. ] I might not like you or Mercy, but I'm perfectly fine playing nice and not causing a scene.
[Rue looks a touch incredulous at that statement.]
I understand your bias against me - feelings which are returned with enthusiasm, naturally - but what reason could you possibly have to dislike Mercy Graves? She's the most generous, warmest, kindest girl I've ever met.
We disagreed about matters of death, [ he shrugs. ] She's big on the memorializing, remembering the dead sort of thing. Saying that there's a duty to the dead. Far as I'm concerned, the only duty is to the living. What the dead want don't matter. So don't talk shit about honoring the dead or doing right by them because your god wants you to when we all know that you're only doing it for yourself.
[Of course the ironic thing is that there is a piece of Rue that certainly agrees with the man. Though there's nothing wrong with memorializing the dead, the real duty should always remain with the living. But then Hickey has to turn it away from that into outright insulting Rue's dearest friend and her deep beliefs.]
Somehow I am unsurprised. [There's more they could say. More casual insults and unimportant bickering they could devolve into, but Rue does have a party to host. Their hands smooth over the front of their glittering, gleaming dress, talons carefully brushing over blossoming flowers, releasing a lovely floral scent into the air.]
Well, please know that I appreciate your cooperation today of all days. And even with our rather strained relationship, I do hope you have a pleasant time enjoying the festival. Certainly, there must be something here even you can appreciate.
[Look at him, giving out near compliments. Rue's proud.]
We actually found them in town at Bumble Gum. I suppose that some humans just enjoy them. Have you tried one yet? [Rue waves a hand, beckoning him along as they take a step in the direction of the snack table.] You simply must.
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Spirits! [Rue huffs, rolling their eyes, but they don't appear to be too upset.] You're impossible! I'm an owlbear. I'm neither a 'fuckoff huge owl' nor a 'monster'. Just an owlbear!
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There's nothing wrong with being a fuckoff huge owl monster. You're taking all this far too personally.
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Oh! Just as if there's nothing wrong with being a fuckoff human with hideous facial hair either?
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[ and yet he somehow still ends up looking like a ratty little supervillain. ]
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Then perhaps that is time better suited for more advantageous endeavors. It would behoove you to seek out a barber instead.
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I must confess, Mr. Hickey. I find myself most envious of those who have never had to meet you. How incredibly lucky they are.
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Now Rue. I'm a guest at your little get-together. I'm sure there's an etiquette rule somewhere about the host not blatantly insulting the guest like that.
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[A little pointed, sure, but where Rue comes from, a little insulting is expected. In fact, before their grand reveal, there's no doubt that some fey would have taken it as a badge of honor to be insulted by Delloso de la Rue. The fey are a strange people indeed.]
It matters not. I have neither the time nor the pictures to explain this to you. But I will remind you that you are indeed my guest and I expect you to play nicely with the others in attendance. Insult me all you like, but if you dare ruin this day for Mercy, I will see to it that you never see the inside of another festival or party in this place again.
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I'm not an asshole. [ At least, not THAT kind of asshole. ] I might not like you or Mercy, but I'm perfectly fine playing nice and not causing a scene.
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I understand your bias against me - feelings which are returned with enthusiasm, naturally - but what reason could you possibly have to dislike Mercy Graves? She's the most generous, warmest, kindest girl I've ever met.
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Somehow I am unsurprised. [There's more they could say. More casual insults and unimportant bickering they could devolve into, but Rue does have a party to host. Their hands smooth over the front of their glittering, gleaming dress, talons carefully brushing over blossoming flowers, releasing a lovely floral scent into the air.]
Well, please know that I appreciate your cooperation today of all days. And even with our rather strained relationship, I do hope you have a pleasant time enjoying the festival. Certainly, there must be something here even you can appreciate.
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We actually found them in town at Bumble Gum. I suppose that some humans just enjoy them. Have you tried one yet? [Rue waves a hand, beckoning him along as they take a step in the direction of the snack table.] You simply must.
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I've got a choice in what I eat here. And I'm choosing no insects.
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Not even one covered in chocolate? Come now, you barely taste a thing. Just the tiniest of crunches.
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Well! Then you might want to leave the gift bags behind when you leave! You may be in for a nasty surprise upon opening yours, Mr. Hickey.
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[ Because free stuff? Nope, he's keeping the free stuff.