apocalypsehowcomm | Feb/March Catch-All (OPEN log)

Entry tags:

Feb/March Catch-All (OPEN log)

Who: Donnie and all!
When: February through March
Where: All around!
Summary: General open log with prompts inside, specific starters upon request!
Warnings: Possessive/obsessive love possible, more TBA as they occur

candy crush (February 1-15, TDM Prompt)
( NOTE: Feelings will be romantic for characters within a couple years of Donnie's 16. For characters older, it will be more like desperation for mentorship/parental figures/familial attachment. Obsessive/possessive optional! )

[One of the fresher boxes of candy has gone missing from one of the break rooms one day, though Donatello isn't exactly hiding that he's just taking the damn thing with him up to the roof of the building for his lunch break. Lately he's been feeling...very lonely. Perhaps it's related to the fact that he still doesn't remember his brother, or maybe it's all in his head.

Regardless, Donnie sits on the edge of the ADI rooftop, legs dangling over the front of the building as he munches on chocolates. He doesn't have a huge sweet tooth usually so maybe he stops at one, or maybe he loses track of what he's doing and has shoved six of them down his throat at once. Who can resist a salted caramel, right?]

dumpster diving (Anytime)

[True, Donnie is engaging in some light criminal activity via identity theft and purchase of components he could otherwise never afford on his own, but there's a curious lack of websites Donnie can visit here to get the really good shit. So that, unfortunately, means that he has to go in search of raw materials so he can build the really good shit himself. He'll need to find a way to smelt metals but he'll work on that later, maybe go in search of a hideout-y place he can use as a foundry where ADI won't snoop.

What this means is that Donnie is absolutely and blatantly dumpster diving downtown, tossing possible raw materials into a shopping cart he also stole, a purple hoodie the only disguise he bothered to put on. He's not really trying to be very stealthy about it, if the loud clangs and bangs coming from nearby alleys are any indication.]

ding dong delivery (Anytime)

[Donnie has lots of packages being delivered to his unit in apartment D; perhaps a delivery man confused his address for yours? Or perhaps the address is yours, but the package is addressed to a...D.L. Jitsu? Or J. Jupiter, or perhaps a more recognizable name such as M. Curie, M. Faraday, E. Hubble or A. Turing.

Regardless of the name, there is somewhere nearby a teenage turtle in a purple hoodie stalking that package, and he has no qualms stealing them from doorsteps or even right out of hands seconds after delivery.

In fact it seems to be happening all over, throughout the apartment blocks, even some closed down businesses in town. What a shady individual!]

wildcard (Anytime)

[Donnie can be found in the following places at the following times:
Roof Jumping usually at nights, usually with the aid of his bow. Parkour shit, just to make sure he doesn't fall out of practice since he doesn't have his jetpack to assist anymore.
ADI IT Rooms during work days, usually completing the mundane tasks of organizing inventory and replacing hardware for people who don't know the difference between a mainframe and an a-frame.
Apartment D-3 on weekends and some evenings, working on his tech and testing some curious substances- are those candy bees inside a beaker over there? Close CR can probably just walk right in, though if Rodney is around they'll get an earful for violating the roommate agreement he and Donnie both signed.
Feel free to pick any of the above, or propose your own prompt! Specific starters may be added to this log as needed throughout the next month and a half!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The effect of Leo taking the book is immediate.

Donatello starts violently; Leo takes the phone and Donnie begins to frantically pat himself down as if searching for just a moment, before his eyes lock on his brother's face. Instead of calming him down however, the sight of Leo's worried eyes seems to agitate him even further.

His breaths become panting sobs, the panicked weeping of someone who is overwhelmed but still has enough sense to know they need to get something done. He reaches for Leo and begins to pat him down, much like Donnie had himself, pressing against his plastron, reaching to feel the back of his neck, pulling his brother close to look down at his shell over his shoulder. All while crying, panting out shuddering gasps, trying to get himself under control and failing miserably.]

Hey-

[Donnie starts patting himself and Leo down, and Leo can't help wondering what happened. What did that book do? He remembers reading it with him when they were younger, using it to scare Mikey together by making it way creepier until Splinter took it away. There's no way in hell that Donatello's suddenly scared of it now. That just isn't him, this isn't like his brother.

(But then again, his brother hasn't been his brother the last few days, not remembering him.]

Talk to me, anything. Even just telling me to shut up or go away- Something.

[-it feels impossible. Nothing? Nothing?

I want my dad.

That can't be right. Donnie felt his- Leo's shell and plastron crack. He thought he did, he must have- it just hurt so much.

Donnie's frantic examination finally slows, until he's holding onto Leo's forearms with his hands between them, in his lap. He sucks in breath after shuddering breath, trying to pack it back down, that overwhelming need to sob and scream until he's numb. He was there, right there, in his brother's head as he-

As he-

Donnie lets go of Leo's arms to rub his fists against his eyes, his sopping mask, only to push himself up and wind his arms around Leo's shoulders instead. None of them ever took the time to really talk about what almost happened- well, Michael probably did. But he, Donnie, did not, ever, let alone to Leo or about Leo.

His brother shut himself in a dimension with no way out, with a hateful homicidal alien in a robot suit literally built to conquer, and clutched a ragged picture to his chest and smiled while he almost died. How could Donnie have let that happen?

-how could he not recall?]

I'm sorry, [Donnie whispers wetly, wrapped around his twin, clutching so tight it's like he's trying to push the terror out of them both. Maybe if he doesn't let Leo go, it won't feel like he could suddenly float off into that gray nothingness, that place of sterile rot where things go to be forgotten.]

[Leo watches him. He lets Donnie finish the frantic patting, holding his forearms.

Still no response though. Donnie still hasn't said anything and that's worrying with the crying and the- Hug? Leo hold his breath at the hug; such a rare thing for Donnie to initiate, let alone hug so tightly.]

...What? [There's a moment of recognition, that Donnie remembers now. Did the book do it? Leo does not hesitate a moment to wrap arms around him hugging back tight.]

[Even confused Leo still wraps around Donnie like an octopus, which is so much like his brother that Donnie almost chuckles. He remembers that now; the neat dark holes in his memory are filled with stupid jokes, with the color blue, with a brother who, ever since they were little babies, would lay down atop Donnie's shell any time he would allow. "Soft," Leo had explained one day, when they were still working on full sentences, and had laid his head down on Donnie's shell. Later, when Leo had the vocabulary available to him, before burgeoning adolescence had robbed them of their unabashed sincerity, he'd explained a bit further; the rest of them had hard shells, sometimes rough if they were dehydrated or otherwise unwell, but Donnie's shell was always like laying down on a "fancy leather couch cushion," he'd said.

Ever since that, Donnie didn't really hate his shell as much as he had when he was younger. None of his brothers ever made him feel badly for his shell, but Leo had specifically gone out of his way to imply he liked it the best. If Leo had the soft shell, he wouldn't be able to enjoy it like he does. Maybe in the darker, quieter parts of night, when Donnie is up working on his battle shells because they'd been destroyed again, fiddling and pinching at the edge of his soft shell over his shoulder, maybe he thought about Leo flopping down onto his back and reminded himself that there are worse things to have.]

Sorry I forgot, [Donnie chokes out, because he had. Leo gets on his nerves like no other brother, but there's also no other brother who can look directly at Don's weaknesses and find greatness in them like Leo can.

He re-wraps his arms around his brother again, holding him close. He can't talk about what he saw, not right this second, not- just, not yet. He doesn't want to think about it, the way sour, mindless terror tried to drown his thoughts as he floated there, knowing that it was his brother going through that as the rest of them stood safe from harm and watched the sky blossom a sunset orange-pink, smoke from the explosion sitting fat like clouds. It's like he's right back there listening to Raph try to choke back his tears for his and Mikey's sake, mind catching and stuck on, but he was just here, over and over again. Like tires spinning through mud. Can't get out. He was just here. But I just heard him.]

Edited 2023-03-06 17:28 (UTC)

[Donnie clings to him, and it's instinctive to cling back. It's how they've always been - one initiates something, the other reciprocates if it's worth it. Arguments, jokes, affection - though Leo is usually always the one initiating that last act. Not that Donnie isn't affectionate, it just isn't his first instinct, not like the rest of them. Leo's always usually aware of how much Donnie can tolerate and tries not to push that.

So for him to be openly drawing Leo in, keeping him in this embrace even for this long, this openly messed up... Something happened. More than Donnie suddenly remembering him after who knows how long forgetting his existence.

He'd told Rue that he'd get this fixed. That they'd all get Donnie to remember him.

Leo just wishes he knew how it happened.]

Not your fault. Stupid place's fault.

[Donnie can't seem to catch his breath entirely, even with Leo living and well right here in his arms, so after a while unable to calm his hiccupping sobs Donnie gets up to his feet, pulling on his brother's arm to follow him.

He goes to his bedroom, pulls Leo soundlessly inside. Grabs a sign from a shelf next to the door and tapes it to the front before shutting and locking it.

The battle shell drops at his touch with a quiet hiss, clunking down on the thick carpet when Donnie doesn't even bother to reach back and catch it. He pulls Leo with him, climbs onto his bed and lays down on his plastron, tugging at his brother until he gets the drift. Weighted blanket. Drape. Please.]

[Leo follows the pull, a mixture of worry and concern and still a little shocked seeing his brother in this condition.

He's half a mind to grab for the metal shell himself when he sees Donnie just letting it fall. But before Leo can even do that, he's being tugged along again. Watches his brother and it doesn't take another second to realize what's up. At least for this, years of experience. His shoulders relax and Leo takes a breath, climbing up and laying across his brother's back, that soft leather comfortable as always.

He'll ask again what's happening. Just.. In a minute, when it's clear Donnie's got his words again.]

[It takes some deep breathing, some near-meditative behavior. Donnie recites the periodic table in his head as he's squished down into his bed. Soft-shelled turtles in nature buried themselves in mud during brumation; Donnie always wondered if that was in, why sometimes just being flattened helped him feel safe. Maybe that's it. Maybe he's putting too much stock in nature and it's something else.

It takes some time, but finally the words manage to slot themselves in the correct order. Donnie reaches over to grab onto Leo's arm, to hook it with his and keep him from getting up just in case.] I couldn't remember why I took the book back with me, so I assumed it had something to do with you. I read it hoping to jog my memory.

It was like I got...sucked into something else. I was experiencing a memory that wasn't mine from someone else's point of view. ...it was yours. Whatever happened with the Krang leader on the other side of the portal.

[Leo's got a comment locked and loaded on the tip of his tongue a bout that book - they'd meant to look at it together to see what the dealio was with it, but stuff kept getting in the way.

But then Donnie says that. That he saw, from Leo's first person POV, what happened in the Prison Dimension. Whatever warm blood he has goes cold.]

...Yeah? [Does he sound as dead to Donnie as he does to himself?] ...You didn't see much of it. Right?

I saw a lot.

[His arm tightens around Leo's. As close as he's willing to get to holding hands, like they did when they were so little their father could hold them in his palms.]

You wouldn't have told anyone about any of it. You probably didn't even tell Dad.

[At "I saw a lot", Leo's ready to ask what he saw while ready to also deny the severity of it all. He wasn't in there for very long in the grand scheme of things, and they got him out and they all recovered. They'd all gone through enough horrible shit too, so it felt selfish to even Leo to focus on what happened to him.

But his mouth closes so sharply his teeth click at that second thing. Because Don's right. He's never told his brothers or their father the full scope of what happened. He didn't see the need, see aforementioned "feels selfish to focus on himself" here. So he's quiet while Donne said that and he tries to process it himself.]

...You shouldn't've had to see it either. Sorry.

Don't be dumb. [Squeezes Leo's arm and gives it a little shake. Dumdum behavior, to apologize for something like that. Even with Donnie always ready to shift the blame off himself, he'd never lay something like this at his twin's feet.

...speaking of,] You wanna make it up to us? Never, ever do it again. I don't care if it means the end of the world. You bring us with you or you don't do it.

Promise?

[He feels the squeeze. He doesn't react too much to it, letting Donnie have that physical anchor he actively reached out for, that Leo didn't have to provide.]

...What if I can't?

Of course you can. Just open your mouth and say the words, I promise Donatello, from now on I will trust wholeheartedly in your brilliance and will not sacrifice myself for any reason, greater good or otherwise. You can throw in something about Mikey and Raph's skills in there too I guess. [Holds arm. You thought this was comfort, maybe it's a hostage situation. Maybe he's going to turn this into house arrest if you don't agree.]

[That does get a huff of a laugh out of him. Words are easy, they're always easy. Especially for Leo.

But actions are harder, especially when he has to look at the results and repercussions in the face afterward.]

Fuck the world, brothers first, huh? [He says it more thoughtfully to himself before sighing. Puts on a bit of bravado] Fiiine. I promise, my dear genius burdened brother who is not as good looking as me, that I will prioritize my life and yours over everything else and worry about everything else second.

I mean it, Nardo. [Holds onto Leo's arm tighter. Maybe even tightly enough to hurt, a bit, though he's not trying to hurt Leo on purpose (this time). Leo always puts on that annoyingly cavalier tone when he's just saying things he thinks Donnie wants to hear. And yes, usually Donnie is fine with that, because he's hearing what he wants to hear and everything else is gravy.

Not this time. Not when Donnie remembers I want my dad, so horrifically clearly, in his thoughts but in his brother's voice. Not when he remembers the feeling of crumpled photopaper under his fingertips as his mouth fills with copper.] Perhaps you don't think I'm serious, but I will do terrible things if you do something like this again.

[The fact that Donnie isn't just taking what he wants to hear and calling it good is serious. Moreso than Leo was hoping this would stay.

He doesn't hate it.

He just has to realign his expectations of the conversation a bit.

Leo rests his hand over Donnie's holding his arm, giving it an assuring pat.]

I fully trust you would find some way to make me regret if I ever did it again. I don't doubt it, I know you mean it, Dee.

And yet you aren't promising.

[Which makes sense, especially with what he's learned of his brother over the past few years. They all grew up together, from babies to now, but never has Donatello come to understand his brothers like he has in the past few years. Still, even with the experience and insight, he is the least likely to 'get' them. The curse of low empathy, he supposes.

No matter. If Leo won't promise, then that just means Donnie has to be more stringent with his safety nets. Leo is willing to throw his life away. New rule successfully assimilated. Measures will need to be taken to ensure that kind of situation ever happens, ever again. Whatever the cost.]

[Don is being annoyingly astute tonight about this. But then, he usually is when it's important to him to hear specific words said. It's difficult. Way more than anything they've done so far. Maybe it's the fact it's the two of them alone, without their brothers and their dad, without April. They have no real backup or place to fall and be caught if the two of them need it.

Leo had to be alone that first month and a half here, and now he's having to be able to catch himself and Donnie. Even if they still have to live apart for now. They've made some allies, and Leo is still very firmly set on bringing Peter back home with them when this is all said and done. But those others aren't family. Not to them.

But they're still others that they've found themselves inexplicably drawn to and care about all the same.]

...I can't promise that. Not when it's not about me. [An echo of the sentiment their father told him. That forced Leo to look beyond their small world to look at the bigger picture. Don and Mikey can handle the smaller details, the little things that Leo and Raph overlook. He trusts them to.]

[Idiot. Fool.

Everything is about him. About them, their family.]

Then you know.

[If Leo can't promise, then Donnie can't retract his ambiguous "threat" (if saying you'll do anything to protect your family can be considered a threat when it's made to that same family). That's fine. Leo can try to sacrifice himself all he wants; all Donnie needs to do is make sure that option is never made viable.

He's been working on failsafes for that already. He'll need...he'll need access to his powers. His ninpo. There's only one way to do that, so he'll just have to make sure all the circuits have been connected so if it comes to it, the only thing he's got to do is flip the switch.

Fuck this place honestly, and everybody else living in it. Donnie's job is to get Leo and himself back home, whatever the means.

Whatever the means.]

[Whatever that means. All Leo has to do is make sure they're never in a situation he has to sacrifice himself, and it'll be fine. If they could access their powers and ninpo, this whole thing would be a lot easier. They could've figured this out, saved the world, and gone home by now and everything just fine. But noooooo this place is super fucked up and stupid.

He just has to make sure his family is safe, first and foremost. The rest of the world sure yeah, but Donnie (and Rue and Peter) first.]

Sure do.

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Feb/March Catch-All (OPEN log)

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