open network - video

[sneakery]

Who: K.P. Hob & various
Username: K.P.Hob
Warnings: None

[Standing beside and towering over a combat dummy is one K.P. Hob. As always he stands ramrod straight, though today he holds his well-used halberd in one hand. His attire is a crisply pressed peacoat worn over a knitted turtleneck.

No pants.

He clears his throat, yellow eyes briefly shifting to the person recording this video before, apparently reassured, focusing once more on the lens. When he speaks his voice is deep and refined, with the affectation of rolling the odd R here or there. Somehow, his mouthful of many sharp teeth fails to obstruct his speech even slightly.]

Ahem. Good evening. I come to you today with a request. You see, while these—[he pauses here to give the dummy a light swat with the flat of his blade for emphasis]—are adequate while drilling forms, I find myself sorely lacking in practical combat exercises. To this end, I would like to enquire if anyone is in need of a sparring partner?

Comments

un: mercyme; video

[graveyounglady]

[What a radiant being! It's much like Rue for Mercy, wondering if this person might be a god.]

Aye, sir! I been looking for someone to practice with. Can't say I'm the best with the weapon I been gifted, but I been working hard at it, and I mean to honor the memory of the man who gave it to me by learning it right. Or are you searching for folk who's already talented with what they got to hand?

voice; un: bootyyyshaker9000

[semilethal]

[Donnie isn't really much of the type to volunteer to train or spar, but he's effectively grounded thanks to Crimes. Alleged crimes. And if he doesn't get some other kind of stimulus he's going to go certifiable.]

Yes. Here. What kind of exercises?

un: Pegasus - Video

[ferriswheelsandfootball]

[Is he…

Is he supposed to be naked Like That.]

I could use some practice. What kind of combat are you looking for?

[Please also accept the same face he has when seeing aliens also with no pants. Because not all the aliens wear pants.

He’s just. Staring.]

[sneakery]

[Hob is once again momentarily distracted by whoever is holding his phone (Rue). From the way his eyes move it's clear there's some gesticulating going on. When his attention returns to the camera he smiles in the slightly forced way of someone trying to make a good first impression.]

No, no, your offer is most welcome. It would be my pleasure to assist in what sounds to be a most honorable endeavor. I daresay I could even give you a few pointers! Er, should you want them, of course.

[sneakery]

Whatever you need....booty-shaker-nine-thousand.

[Is that a barely supressed chuckle? could be]

Polearms, swords, unarmed, grappling, it makes no difference to me.

[sneakery]

[Hob sees the face. He sees the stare. He lifts a thick furry brow, but makes no comment. This isn't his first rodeo with humans being surprised/appalled/horrified by his sartorial choices, and he's resigned himself to waiting them out.

Most don't ask. Some do. Some, when confronted with his silence, simply walk away. Which will John choose to be?]

My requirements are few, you'll find. Quarterstaves to start with, perhaps?

[graveyounglady]

I'll take any advice you got--[if he is a god she should show the proper respect with her speech]--you have, sir. It would be an honor working with someone like yourself. My name's Mercy Graves, devotee of Pelor, the Dawnfather. I have a dirk and a glaive to my name. It's the glaive that's more what I be-what I've been learning. The man who gave it to me had a fair few inches on my height. I know how to swing a shovel. Swinging his blade's a little more trouble with the length.

un: timjdrake

[ployboy]

[Sparring. Cool. But first: Pants.

No pants.

Tim has taken the time to scrub at his face before recording his answer from where he's sat at the springy edge of his bed, his attention is partially divided.]

I'm on my way down if you're interested in something immediate.

Video Un: Chosewell

[failedpromise]

(No horrified staring at the lack of pants here, though he does get an amused eyebrow raise.

As for her, she looks pretty Human - no longer translucent and blue with her new robotic body - but a closer examination will reveal some telltale signs of a construct.)

I could probably use another person to practice with. Do you fight exclusively with bladed weapons or is hand to hand an option?

un: Power4President; video

[thefinalpower]

[ Power, unfazed by Hob's lack of pants (a product of ridiculous human modesty!), sticks her hand in the air like she's been called on to answer a question in class. ]

I'm renowned for my combat prowess!

1/2

[semilethal]

Polearms. [This dude looks Ginormous compared to the dummies that Donnie has for sure seen in person, and he's not gonna volunteer to be completely humiliated. Might as well make sure he uses something he's actually good with.]

[semilethal]

-also shut up! I love dancing and I refuse to be ridiculed for that.

video | un: badgirlcoven

[edalyn]

[Eda has never made her equally furry son wear pants, so she'd probably be a hypocrite if she started complaining now.]

Yeah, I need more folks willing to face off with these claws. [She holds up a hand and wriggles them for emphasis.] Plus I wouldn't mind seeing what kinda stuff you're teaching Rue. [Even if she's most likely no longer actually grumpy with him.]

Video, un: a.jaeger

[bloodalwaystells]

[Jaeger is used to a lot of things, and a lack of pants is kind of trivial at this point.

The teeth get a lot more of his interext, but Jaeger's not going to throw stones there, either. This is someone he likely has things in common with, and Hob presents himself more than well enough that Jaeger's interest is piqued.

When he speaks, his voice is a low, rough rasp, something speaking of an injury or other affliction. He's wearing a turtleneck as well, his short hair brushed and trimmed and his steely blue-gray eyes serious.]

I'd be interested in someone to train with. I'm mostly a swordsman, but I've worked with staves and do have some experience with unarmed combat as well.

[He pauses briefly. Okay, this might be a little tougher than he expected.]

Andrew Jaeger, by the way.

video → action?

[sneakery]

[Well! That's the sort of initiative Hob likes to see! When he replies it's clear from the angle that he's holding the phone himself now. His ursine features are split by a wide and toothy smile.]

Certainly! I shall see you forthwith!

[When Tim makes his way to the training yard he'll find that Hob has changed his clothes; now, he has pants. No shirt. It's a thing, don't worry about it.]

video; un: jelica

[musicdied]

[It's the coat and turtleneck that get Yelena. Fully dressed or fully naked, she could understand, but this particular compromise is. Perplexing.

The great thing about responding on the network, though, is that she doesn't have to do so immediately. She can have her moment of "why is Winnie the Pooh's much toothier and more well-armed older brother?" in private.

When she goes camera-on to respond a couple minutes later, she looks interested, maybe a little curious, nothing more.]

It looks like you have several volunteers already, but I'm always up for a new challenge.

[sneakery]

I've trained in all manner of melee combat, both mounted and on foot. You won't find me wanting in that regard!

[He sounds quite jovial and not at all boastful. Just a statement of facts. Hob hasn't clocked yet that the person he's speaking to isn't quite what she seems; there's something uncanny about her that puts him in mind of a certain dusty old tailor's shop back home, though he can't quite put his finger on why.]

To put it plainly: yes, if that is what you require.

[sneakery]

[Oh. This one looks very young, but, Hob reasons, age truly has nothing to do with raw skill. If she's serious about sparring he won't turn her away, and if she's lying, well, he'll find out soon enough.]

Capital! [the exclamation is booming and comes with a toothy smile.] Do you have a specialty? [pronounced spesh-ee-al-it-y]

[sneakery]

[Perhaps the hatchet isn't fully buried. It doesn't matter, Hob appears pleased to see Eda anyway. It's quite nice to know another non-human in the same predicament as he.]

If it's a battle of claws you're after, you've come to the right place. [Nevermind that Hob's own claws are more the type for digging than slashing. He'll give as good as he gets, regardless.] As to your second point... we shall see.

[sneakery]

[The action that follows his introduction is swift, incomprehensible, and perhaps startling. Hob slaps his right shoulder with his left hand, blows a raspberry, and, with grave solemnity, flicks his own ear. All of this is done with the crisp respect of a salute.]

K.P. Hob, at your service! It's an honor to make your acquaintance, Sir Jaeger. My dear Rue has nothing but praise for your good name.

[Settled back at parade rest, halberd in one hand and the other behind his back, Hob regards him with interest. His long tufted ears flick and swivel as he considers.]

Many offers have been made for unarmed combat. Perhaps blades, if you are amenable?

[sneakery]

I must admit I didn't anticipate being so popular. [For a moment his thick, expressive eyebrows pinch with concern. Evidently a lack of sparring partners was a more common trouble than he'd known. Still! He's happy to be of service!] No matter! There is, as they say, enough to go around.

What manner of arms are you trained in?

[bloodalwaystells]

[Okay, that gets a twitch of surprise out of Jaeger, but he quickly schools it into solemn respectful nod.

He doesn't have any real answering salute, but Hob is from Somewhere Else Entirely, and Jaeger isn't going to disrespect him.]

Rue is very kind, and it's good to meet a fellow professional.

[Jaeger might be human, but he's broad-shouldered and sharp-eyed, watching the screen with a quick and intent gaze. He...might be in for quite a challenge with the hobgoblin, but that might be good for him.]

Blades would be a welcome change for me, as well. I lost my previous partner, and...it's been a bit difficult to get back into the routine.

[He pauses for a second, teetering between fond recollection and the sting of a loss still a little too fresh.]

He favored reach weapons as well, which makes for an interesting challenge. Something I could do with more of...because you're absolutely right, drills are useful enough but not nearly the same as a good sparring match.

[sneakery]

[Hob makes a note of this Pelor, who he takes to be a lord, and the halting corrections she makes as she speaks. Interesting, he thinks. Why did she make that change?]

I can certainly help you there. My own troops contained a multitude of physiques, from the very tiny—

[He lifts his clawed hand to demonstrate, thumb and forefinger held about two inches apart.]

—to the toweringly tall. As you may guess I am no stranger to guiding adjustment to a weapon that may not perfectly fit its master's hand. The glaive is a fine armament, and I would be honored to assist in whatever way I can.

[sneakery]

Ridicule? I meant no offense. My own people are renowned for their prowess in throwing it back. None can shake it like Goblins!

[And he does indeed sound quite proud of that fact.]

Forgive the lapse in decorum. I simply do not know what else to call you by. I have not yet had the pleasure of learning your name.

[musicdied]

You're new. And there's only so far anyone can progress without trying someone unfamiliar.

[And he is most definitely unfamiliar.]

Knives, baton, quarterstaff. And unarmed combat.

[She flashes a quick grin.]

A few other things that aren't relevant.