![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
- !event,
- !npc,
- cornelius hickey (the terror),
- cortana (halo),
- edalyn clawthorne (owl house),
- john sheppard (stargate: atlantis),
- katrina (siren),
- manji (blade of the immortal),
- mercy graves (original),
- raine whispers (owl house),
- zz_beauregard lionett (critical role),
- zz_bruce banner (marvel comics),
- zz_caitlyn kiramman (arcane),
- zz_callisto (xena: warrior princess),
- zz_luka kovač (er),
- zz_malcolm bright (prodigal son),
- zz_methos (highlander),
- zz_misty quigley (yellowjackets),
- zz_neal caffrey (white collar),
- zz_wake (locked tomb series)
Event - Untimely
(cw: hypersomnia, coma, supernaturally induced metaphysical hunger, psychosomatic pain)
"We all dream," the representative from Copernicus explains, directing attention to a powerpoint slide projected onto the wall beside her. The seminar in one of the conference rooms is ADI's latest effort to combat Ava's influence and take the fight to their foe. If she's going to put them all to sleep, then so be it. Let their ranks be ready for battle there. "My boss, Zyrian Steel, is a big dreamer. Copernicus started as one. We-" She pauses as her eyes seem to catch on someone at the back of the room. "But that-that's another presentation! Suffice to say, Mr. Steel heard you were having some sleep troubles around the office and wanted to help.
"Hello, everyone. My name is Luna, and I'm here from Copernicus' Augmenting Reality group to talk to you about lucid dreaming. Now, I see some of us are here in our Halloween outfits." She smiles and poses in her 50's-style poodle skirt. "Some of you have very impressive make-up and prosthetics, I might add. I was told there might be some stiff competition for this mid-Halloween get-together. Glad to see they weren't having a little fun with me." Any non-human in the audience is given an appreciative nod. "I can see we have a few dreams brought to life here, but what about shaping the dreams we have while we're in them?"
"We're going to go through a few exercises today. The key tricks for inducing lucid dreaming include:
"One, assess your reality regularly. Even if you can't remember falling asleep, take a moment every few hours to test your reality. Dreams might look very familiar, but there will always be inconsistencies and distortions you can catch. This should help you to recognize when you're dreaming.
"Second, the MILD method or Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams. This is a method where you'll set an alarm for 5 hours after you go to sleep. Once awake, you'll tell yourself, 'The next time I'm dreaming, I will remember that I'm dreaming.' You'll also try to imagine yourself in a lucid dream as you go back to sleep. Silly as it sounds, just having that intentionality can be highly effective.
"Third, tell yourself when you go to sleep that you are going to have a lucid dream, that you will be shaping your reality, even if it seems outside of your control. Convince yourself. Convince others.
"And fourth…" Luna pulls out some high-tech looking eyemasks. "You can try one of our patented Lucidio Eye Masks. These devices help to unlock your mind and provide it with a few extra cues that you're dreaming once you enter REM sleep. We'll be handing out a limited number of samples, courtesy Mr. Steel. That's for the end of our presentation. Now, let's go through the stages of sleep…"
Whether you can stay away for the rest of the presentation, everyone will be chivved awake with increasingly harsh prods if they've fallen asleep during the presentation. There are more seminars throughout the next few days, always similar with Luna offering her guidance on lucid dreaming. Maybe it's enough. Maybe it isn't.
The music doesn't stop. As with last October, the haunting tunes extend their grasp from the graveyards and out toward the rest of Gloucester, ringing through ADI's halls, along with the Flophouse. The music induces intense sleepiness, and you might find your coworkers slumping down while they walk or you might fall victim to the music, yourself.
You awake… somewhere. It might be a place that's familiar, or one that's utterly alien. What you know is that there is something in this place that calls to you, sings in your blood and burns to be away from. And yet, you're terrified. There is something here that wants to consume every part of you, suck the marrow from your bones and leave you a husk of what you once were. You need it. You want it. You are hungry for it. For the fear it both brings and demands. This place seems to be some sort of pocket dimension, a personal hell built just for you and the things that sink their teeth into your bones and claw at the back of your mind. This is a terrifying place.
And you're not alone.
If you've been paying attention to the seminars, perhaps you'll be able to recognize this as a dream, something that isn't real. Sensations that aren't real. A world that isn't real. But with that realization comes a choice. You could try to break free of your personal hell, rip it to shreds, make it less horrific. Or… or there is something that calls to you in this place, a thing that sounds the death of who you once were, perhaps. You could call back, reshape this reality to terrorize the others trapped here with you. They'll never know if you were aware or not, will they? They don't need to know you did this to them consciously.
Just this once, what if you gave in? If someone dies in the dream, it's not like they die in real life. Right?
(cw: blood, unsanitary food, supernaturally-induced existential dread, supernaturally-induced suicidal thoughts, isolation, dissociation)
Deathbed Bread is off the market. Thanks to a timely tip, the Health Department has finally made a slightly less timely visit to Better Loaf than Never, and were forced to shut the storefront down when their inspectors were unable to gain entry to the kitchen. The lights are still on behind the boarded-up windows, though, the smell of sourdough still permeating the air as loaf after loaf is delivered through a slot from the kitchen through the day and night, bread piling up on the counter and floor behind the register. They come at regular intervals, still warm from the oven. ADI has taken over the little storefront now and set up a tiny field office there, the higher-ups having pulled enough strings for law enforcement to look the other way and not ask too many questions about the people coming and going as efforts to break into the kitchen intensify...and as ADI staff truck away loads of Deathbed Bread to incinerate back at headquarters.
Someone has a bright (or maybe desperate) idea: if they can't get in, maybe they can at least stop the bread from coming out. Boarding up the bread slot, by all accounts, works for perhaps an hour or two as those present can still hear more bread piling up on the other side. Then there's a soul-wrenching cry of anguish followed by a violent attack on the barrier from inside the kitchen that ends with an ADI agent injured by flying debris and a cascade of sourdough loaves stained with bloody handprints. It's enough, though. Whatever supernatural seal that made the kitchen blockade impenetrable has broken, and within the day ADI is able to break down the door.
A thick, unnatural fog is all that can be seen inside the doorway. Rather than the cool of an early morning, though, the damp air is hot and cloying; those who venture inside will soon find themselves drenched with a mix of sweat and humidity from the air. They will also soon find themselves alone, regardless of what companions they might have had with them when they entered. Did you have someone with you? You must have; it would be foolish to enter alone, and yet it rapidly becomes difficult to remember their face, their voice, the touch of their hand. Perhaps you imagined them. Perhaps you've always been alone.
Dark shapes in the fog resolve into tombstones as one nears--no, into huge, upright loaves of bread jutting up from where they've been sunk into the soft ground of this strange graveyard, dry and cracked and dead. There are names pressed into them, dates of death spanning the last few weeks…and the next few. Perhaps you'll spot your own name and today's date. And why shouldn't it be today? Everyone dies, and everyone dies alone. Any action other than laying down on the soft dough of your own grave and letting it swallow you up is only delaying the inevitable.
The spell of deathly quiet over this place isn't complete, though. Keep moving, keep trying, keep hanging on to thoughts of those you love and the clear sky beyond this little world, and you might find a friend who needs your help as much as you need theirs. One or both people encountering each other may feel as though they're in a dream, unable to see or hear the other–but with persistence, with feeling, it's possible to reforge the connection. Love and friendship may shine a light on what was invisible–but so will shared anger, joy, or disgust. Any strong, shared emotion beyond the fear and sadness that permeates this place renders would-be ghosts visible, solid, and real to one another, able to move forward or turn back to escape together–or to begin tearing up the tombstones in fierce denial of their portents.
This hellish graveyard is as far as most will go. Somewhere deeper in what was the kitchen, Bryn still labors and the bread still piles up. It will be up to those few lucky (or unfortunate) enough to stumble across him to put a final end to this.
(cw: child death, body horror, violence, potential injury or character death, nightmare dream logic)
Are you dreaming or are you awake? It becomes harder to tell as the music flows through halls and streets, rooms and parks. It’s dangerous out there, people falling asleep where they shouldn’t, or finding themselves face-to-face with what shouldn’t be when their eyes close unknowingly. Perhaps you planned it, your practice made perfect and your mind set to confrontation, maybe this time you sat down with the intention of stopping this. Or maybe it was simply an accident, but you’re here now. What else can you do but fight to survive?
The hellscape of your mind's torment might be familiar or maybe it’s a new flavor, but there’s something different this time. This time, there are seams; the dream around you is sewn together and you hold the scissors. Fight your way or will your way through, and you can pass between the swatches of your dreaming landscape. Maybe you find a friend or maybe you spot the retreating form of a little girl, turning a corner that isn’t there. Except you can see it now, the corridors of this place. You can follow her.
She leads you on a chase, her laugh a ricocheting titter of joy for the game. If you listen closely, however, there’s more to hear. The further you chase her, the more snatches of sound and sensation follow you as well. Grim melodies and snatches of song, searing heat, the taste of ash in your mouth, the sound of screaming that isn’t quite familiar. Your parents? Someone’s parents. Whispered voices. Snatches of words. ‘Amber.’ yelled, called, pleaded. Hide and seek was always fun.‘Ren’ a name that holds fondness, a feeling of a hundred tiny legs across skin- Stop! A command like a pick through your mind filled with anger and fear. Maybe it isn’t just your nightmares in here…
If you catch her, when you catch her, the game is over. Cornered and angry, Ava skitters up the wall, and across the ceiling to hang above you, neck at an impossible angle and clearly broken for it. “What’s wrong? Not having fun?”.
- GENERAL - Bryn and Ava will both be available for NPC interaction and threading. Players who want to talk to ask Luna anything should respond to the Questions section of the OOC post. The mods will provide her answers to specific questions. Characters who die in the dreams will not die in real life, but they will experience severe fatigue and pain, and may retain scarring in the waking world from whatever killed them in the nightmares. Characters who die in real life… well, they're dead. Please bear this in mind as the game does not have an easy resurrection mechanic.
- REALITY CHECK (16-25 October) - Everyone will be encouraged (but not technically required) to attend the lucid dreaming seminar. There will be a few of them over the course of three days. Characters can also pick up one of the Ludicio Eye Mask devices that will assist them in being able to enter a lucid state while dreaming. They don't always help, of course; they're mainly augmenting someone's abilities, provided they're following the guidance provided about how to enhance your lucid dreaming capabilities. Luna is clearly unaware that any non-humans are actually non-humans. She believes everyone is just really into Halloween around here.
The nightmares this go around seem to be specifically focused on the Entities that your characters fear most and/or the ones they might be drawn to. You are welcome to make up a personalized hellscape for your character with anything you'd like in it. These are dreams! Go wild! Characters will fall randomly in and out of each other's dreams and personalized hellscapes. Those who have mastered lucid dreaming will be able to traverse dreams with more purpose, aiming to go to specific people's dreams or get themselves out of ones they don't want to be in. Lucid dream experts will also be able to shape the dreams that are meant for them. In their own nightmares, characters will feel a definitive pull toward one (or more over different nights) Entity and experience an intense fear of that Entity along with the desire to feed it, even if you want away from it.
Feeding the Entities in the dreams and using the dreams to torment others will not necessarily lead to an Entity alignment… but it can do. Or it can set a character down a particularly destructive path in that vein. We would just ask that players remember that ADI is very anti-magic/Entities and anyone who is caught displaying powers/Entity alignment is liable to be mistrusted, watched, and potentially killed by the NPCs if they make themselves too much of an overt problem.
- KNEAD HELP (18-25 October) - Characters may find bread gravestones with their own names, the names of people they have lost, and people they fear losing, as well as names of locals who have been confirmed dead due to eating Deathbed Bread. Some gravestones will bear the names and correct dates for people who are actually dead; others will refer to people who are still alive. Gravestone engravings may include characters back home in player characters' worlds, as well as player characters that have been dropped from the game. OOCly, the appearance of a person's bread gravestone is not a reliable indication of whether that person is actually dead or going to die. ICly, characters may or may not realize this fact at players' discretion.
- NEVER SLEEP AGAIN (20-25 October) - As characters begin to gain control over their dreaming, they will find they can begin to track down Ava the Lullaby Girl. Confrontation can occur within the dream or, with enough willpower, a character can pull a piece of Ava into the waking world to try and kill her. Upon bringing her to the waking world, characters will find themselves faced with a teenaged version of the girl they were following, Ava’s actual body. She's not a little girl at all, but someone who's just entering into adulthood. Fights are likely to result in injuries ranging from mild to severe and can include death, please keep the setting’s death rules in mind for this. Threads with Ava can start in the dreams or already mid-fight in the waking world! It will take a concerted group effort to actually kill Ava. No one person will be able to do it themselves. Only a piece of her is pulled through or fought in the dreams that any person encounters.
The morning after the last pieces are killed, Ava’s mangled corpse will be found on ADI’s grounds shortly after dawn, clutching a bloody, stuffed lamb in one hand.
John Carter | ER | ota
Reality Check
i. Doctor, doctor please (The Flesh/The End)
cw: hospitals, restraints, medical/surgical procedures, gore, blood, scalpels, syringes
note: can absolutely stay clear of certain procedures/instruments/triggers, just leave them in the comment line and i'll avoid!
[The room is green.
It's noisy in here, voices are shouting, more of them clamoring in the hallway outside the double doors. It's a hospital room and it has the blinding cold white lights shining down from overhead to prove it.
Monitors beep everywhere and whoever is unlucky enough to find themselves in Carter's dream will find that they are strapped to a gurney with medical personell moving quickly around them. Their faces remain blurry, it's never possible to see any actual features. And yet it's clear that they're stressed out and they're yelling. About what? It's not entirely clear. They want things like CBCs and blood chems but they also yell about bleeding out or EPIs. The things might not even fit together or make sense but they induce a horrifying sense of stress, of danger, of death.
Apparently you were in some kind of trauma and it's bad.
And then there's Carter who stumbles into the room. There's nothing of the calm he usually exhibits. He's younger in this dream, a lot younger, beads of sweat on his forehead, eyes wide and panicked behind the mask when the nurse gowns him up and gives him a rundown. It's just as rapid and contradictory as the things they have been shouting at each other.
Carter seems to have trouble making sense of it and he looks both more and more confused and overwhelmed. What? he asks several times, his voice getting more and more frantic, but the blurry-faced nurses just talk faster and faster.
Where's Benton? he yells at them and the answer is always the same. Taking care of that gunshot victim. Tied up in the OR. It all comes down to this: There is a patient dying on the table and no one is coming.
You have to do it, Carter. There's no one else!]
R-right.
[He stares at his patient, obviously struggling to appear confident.]
Don't worry, uh. We'll-- we'll take good care of you.
[This is just as much a nightmare for him as it is for you.
Yours is probably going to be worse though because he's moving over to the tray with the medical instruments, apparently getting read to cut.]
ii. An offer you can't refuse (The Desolation / The Web)
cw: economic hardship, financial ruin, manipulation, coercion, humiliation
[It's cold in here.
The walls are high, echoy. It's a villa, a grand one, one that almost looks like a palace. Ornate walls surround the spacious office, a grand mahogany table looming from side to side. Chandeliers are moving softly overhead and when their crystals touch they make an unnerving sound that induce fear and the feeling of being trapped.
Characters that find their way into this dream will sit in a grand leathery armchair. It's very comfortable but there is something threatening about it. Sitting in it makes one feel incredibly small and powerless. It's impossible to get out of it - and they might not want to because whatever this talk is about, it's important. It's about their future. Their life.
Carter is on the other side of the table, wearing an expensive suit and a tie with a spiderweb pattern. He's rich. Powerful. He can fix you and all your problems - for a price, of course. Or he can and will ruin your life.
It really depends on his mood. Right now he's just enjoying the feeling of control like a cat playing with a mouse.]
Now.
[It almost sounds like him, almost sounds like the usual boyish tenor. He even smiles but it's so very, very cold.]
Why don't we get down to business? What is it that I can help you with?
iii. Knead help
[He doesn't remember how long it has been. How long he has stumbled around in this fog, staring at the gravestones. Reading so many familiar names. From here. From back home. Loved ones, enemies, even the unfamiliar names. They all hurt, they all remind him of what is to come.
He's tired, he's lonely, he's sad - but he's been all that before. Maybe that's what saves him in the end. Keeps him from lying down.
It's always been loneliness that drove him. So he keeps walking, keeps wandering, the world blurry around him.
Eventually, Carter thinks he spots a figure up ahead. But it's so hard to tell, it could just be his mind playing tricks on him. Who would be here? Everyone is dead. And soon he would be. And whoever was up ahead. If there was really someone.]
Hello?
[He feels stupid calling out. He should just accept it, there was no one around, just like always...]
ii. RIP
Not this place, exactly, and not in this comfy yet threatening chair, and certainly not in front of Carter in this fashion, unless their shared quarters has suddenly gotten swankier when he wasn't looking, but this...situation. This scene.
His father, sitting in a large desk that looks eerily like the one before him. His brother, lurking off to the side, either with curiosity or with disdain. A disappointed note in his tone, a suggestion that sounds like he has no choice. This is your life, John. You don't have a choice, John. Think of your future.
Except now, something is wrong. He knows Carter but he also doesn't know him like this, but he's got the sense that he can help him with whatever this is. He's wearing a suit, an expensive one, but he feels uncomfortable in it. He suddenly feels very small. Embarrassed.
Ashamed.]
We're...we're not doing very well.
[The family business, of course.]
I didn't--I wasn't supposed to be in charge of it but... [Somehow he is, now. He just knows that. He's in charge and he messed it all up.] I told them, I don't know how to run a business. Just because I'm his son doesn't mean I know how to manage it!
[He shifts uncomfortably in the chair.]
We're losing...millions.
no subject
[It's polite. Concerned. Distant. Carter leans forward and smiles; it could be friendly but it has about as much empathy as a loan shark's.]
You know, I felt the same way. Would you believe that I didn't want anything to do with all this?
[He spreads his arms, pointing to the opulence around him with a small chuckle.]
Didn't want to be treasurer, didn't want to take over the family business... Stayed away for years, actually. But turns out that now that I'm here? I'm not half bad at it. Actually, I'm great at it.
[That very idea will haunt him in the days to come, the fear delayed for after the nightmare. Right now he feels great. And that will haunt him too.]
Millions. That's a lot of money, John. We better fix this mess before the shareholders get wind of it, huh?
no subject
[He’s feeling small and ashamed but no less sarcastic. He doesn’t know if Carter had an upbringing anything like his own, but obscenely wealthy family businesses tended to follow similar patterns.
Though he probably shouldn’t antagonize the guy he was asking for help from.]
Of course. We gotta make the shareholders happy, don’t we?
[He should probably try harder at that.]
no subject
You also already have.
Of all the wrong things to say, it's obvious that he expertly managed to pick one of the worst. Carter's eyes harden at gold star and the smile evaporates. Even that fake politeness disappears and for a long moment he just stares him down.
It's a terrible look. It's every disdain, every contempt, every scorn John may have faced at some point combined into one expression.]
Is this a joke to you? You think you can come here and waste my time?
[He leans forward slowly.]
I don't like people who waste my time. Especially not when they've got nothing to show for themselves.
no subject
John shrinks in the chair, it's an overwhelming feeling that he can't fight against, even with the supernatural compulsion this is something more...something worse.
He's seen that terrible look before. But not as bad as this. It's like every unpleasant situation all boiled down into a condensed form. It's a court marshal. It's running away. It's being punished. It's a disappointed voice.
It's the last look his dad ever gave him.]
...I didn't--I was just...
[His mouth has run dry. If Carter doesn't help him, he's finished. They're finished.]
I was just trying to lighten the mood.
no subject
[But Carter leans back again, so at least there's that.]
My family is not a laughing matter, John. That flippant attitude is probably what got your finances all messed up in the first place.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: spider imagery
i. Even more rip
Luka can't remember how he got here, and for all he knows this is real, and really happening. But it's strange, things seem...wrong, he can't quite focus on the people around him. If Carter's here, shouldn't Abby be here?
But even Carter looks...wrong, different.
Younger?]
Carter...?
[Wait, this is wrong, all wrong. He's doing surgery? He's not supposed to--why is he--wait, how hurt is he!?]
No, wait--where's Benton? Or Corday?
[He tries to move, but whatever has happened to him, whatever trauma this is, it's rendered him too weak or injured.]
F
The dream logic keeps him trapped, doesn't make him question that he can't quite diagnose what it is he's supposed to fix, that this doesn't make any logical sense - neither the situation, nor the injuries.]
It's going to be okay!
[The monitors start beeping, leaving him no chance to stop and think. All he knows is he needs to act and he needs to do it now. He cuts laterally, looking for a bleeder, trying to remove rubble at first or maybe it is some broken glass or a bullet... Somehow it's all and none of the above at the same time.]
I need more suction! Get me another clamp!
no subject
…except it gets worse almost exponentially.
Carter starts…cutting.
Luka howls, trying to thrash against the bed, but he’s too weak to do much of anything but scream.]
You d-didn’t—
Carter, I’m still conscious!
You n-need to i-intubate me first!
[Clearly Carter is in a panic, which is strange—-usually he’s much more level-headed.
He can’t believe he’s giving advice on his own treatment but here they are.]
no subject
[Look, don't you see that? He needs to act now!
There's more blood and the stress is getting worse. Luka's screaming is making it worse, too but the dream prevents him from stopping, from understanding that he can't operate like this. He does understand that he needs to do something about it, though.]
Give him something for the pain!
[He snaps at the nurses but there's just gibberish in response. He's not responding to the painkillers. What? Why wouldn't-- it makes no sense!]
Okay. O-kay, I can... we can... I've clamped so all I have to do is, is, is, make sure I don't miss any bleeders and keep the pressure up...
no subject
[This is literally insanity, Carter's acting like he's never been in this situation before--was that why he looked younger? Maybe his own mind was playing tricks on him, but still...from his point of view it's Carter who has something horribly wrong with him, and he's going to die here on the table if a more experienced doctor doesn't come in.]
Call someone else f-for h-help--
[At this point he'll take anyone else, because he's only making it worse.]
P-please!
no subject
[Please, he's been trying? He doesn't want to be here!]
They're not coming!
[No one's coming. And he can't do this, he can't, he's messing it up, he's going to lose the patient...!
He desperately keeps working on him, trying to fix what changes and shifts around him, trying to keep up with problems that create new ones outside of any real sense...]
cw: suicidal ideation
cw: suicidal ideation
cw: suicidal ideation
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: ptsd, children and family death, war imagery
cw: death, throwing up
cw: death, ptsd
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
i, good with anything tbh
What--
[She recognizes the doctor as the annoying guy she'd come in with, so many months ago, only here he looks so much more baby-faced and so much more scared. That in and of itself should ring alarm bells, should be a clue that this reality isn't reality, but it doesn't.]
No, I'll do it.
[She says, struggling against the gurney strap to try to reach for the scalpel.]
Give it to me.
no subject
What!?
[Carter just stares at her, then at the nurses in search for help, a silent plead for support. What do I do if the patient suddenly tries to perform surgery on themself?!]
Uh. Uhh...
[They remain faceless and unhelpful. No responses from the nurses. He's on his own. Again.]
No! No, you, you can't?
[He reaches out to press her shoulders back into the gurney.]
Don't move, you're, you're gonna make it worse! Just let us work!
no subject
[She insists this even as her fingers shake, scrabbling for the scalpel but never quite able to make purchase on the edge of the tray table.]
Let me go; I-- I can--
[She tries to sit up, but strapped down as she is, that isn't exactly effective, either.]
no subject
[Carter winces the moment he yells it, stress getting the better of him.]
But... but we'll fix it, we'll, you'll be fine, just--
[He grabs the scalpel before Misty can, waving it around frantically.]
Just trust me, okay!?
[A+ bedside manner, John.]
no subject
At the movement, a fast-growing bloodstain starts to form on her jeans.]
no subject
[Carter stumbles back, clutching his arm for a moment and hissing through his teeth.]
A little help here!?
[Of course he doesn't get it. The nurses just keep yelling nonsense at him, more medical details about what is going wrong now that he fails to keep the patient subdued.]
Nurse, restraints!
[He's reaching out to grab them himself, ready to wrestle Misty back onto the gurney.
Or, well. try.]
(no subject)
iii
But he'd survived. Right? He lived through it, even though it felt like he was dying.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Maybe it's all a dream, maybe he should just sit down and curl up against the cold stone and close his eyes accept that.
Maybe if he dies he'll wake up.
Neal goes down on one knee in front of the headstone, reaching out to trace his name with a fingertip.
no subject
And then he wonders, why should the figure disappear? Why does he expect it to?
Because that's what always happens, something whispers in the back of his mind. People just disappear.
But this one doesn't. It's the first person he's seen in - he frowns when concepts press on his mind, the passing of time, a sense of place, a sense of self. Where is he? How long has he been here? What is he looking for? It's not like he forgot, it's just like it hasn't been present up until now that he was forced to think about it...
But there is the shape of another person up ahead and it gives him something - something to focus on, something to move towards.
"Who's there?"
feel free to let this go, i know it's ancient in game terms by now--life kicked my ass
"Neal Caffrey," he says, his own name feeling like lead in his mouth. The around them eats up any echoes. "...Who's there?"
no worries i know that feel!
His lips move silently, forming the name. A name, something that exists outside of the nothingness, the endless fog. Something he can focus on, a sudden focal point that helps his mind to gather thoughts, plans, ideas.
"It's Carter. John Carter?"
He follows the sound of his voice, stumbles towards that shape.
"I can see you."
no subject
I can see you, John Carter says, but Neal doesn't get up. He turns, instead, so he can sit, back against the soft crust of his gravestone. He can feel the doughy ground under him shift, pressing up along one of his thighs.
John Carter. He knows the name. John Carter. He was the doctor in the medical wing when Neal lost his memories, temporarily though it was. There's a peace in that idea--losing himself. He doesn't remember how terrifying it was, how alone he felt. Right now the thought of being no one is just a relief.
He lost more than himself, though. Didn't he? There was something else. Someone else. He doesn't know. He can't remember now, either. "Are you real?"
no subject
He thinks he's real. Why would he feel so bad if he wasn't? In a way, that's the only security, the only certainty the fog can give him.
"I remember you."
It's difficult to think but there's something in that name.
"You... were my patient."
Because... he's a doctor. He works at ADI. That's... where he was before he came here. Wherever here is. Whatever here is. There's a startling realization that if there's a here, then there must be a there. That the world and existence didn't start and end with this place but extended beyond it.
He stops by the gravestone, squatting down to be at eye-level, overcome with the sudden urge to check on the man. Pupils, pulse, perspiration, they're wild concepts swirling in his head.
"Are you injured?"
(no subject)