[NETWORK] An Announcement

[landing_lights]

Who: Ade Bennett
Username: ade37
Warnings: Vague references to animal cruelty


Hi everyone. This is Ade. Just a quick announcement to expect some new faces around the office from here on out.

[ Here, he has attached a photo of three albino rats cuddled up in a little hammock inside their cage. It’s the cutest, most photogenic picture he could take with his limited photography skills. ]

These guys came from ADI’s medical labs, so it’s safe to say they’ve been through a lot. I thought I’d give them a well-earned retirement. Couldn’t get ADI to waive their no-pets policy in the apartments but they did say I could keep them in the HQ itself, so… here they are. I’ll be handling their upkeep, so no one else has to worry about it.

A few notes: please don’t feed them any junk food. They can eat fruits or vegetables sometimes as treats, but other than that, they should be sticking to rodent food from the pet store. Also, be gentle if you handle them, and don’t forget to make sure the cage door is fully latched when you put them back in. I’ve heard they can be real escape artists.

Finally, I hope nobody needs to hear this, but just in case: don’t be an arsehole. If you have a problem with the rats or don’t want them here, talk to me and I’ll work something out. Don’t take it out on them. Don’t manhandle them either. They’re animals, not toys. If you want to handle them and don’t know how, ask me and I’ll show you.

I’ll be hanging out here for a little bit, so if you want to come meet them, now’s a good time. Also: I don’t have nicknames for them yet. I still haven’t figured out how to tell them apart so I’ve been putting it off. If you can think of some good ones for three boy rats, go ahead and drop them here. Thanks.

Comments

[text] un: cupkate

[bossyboiler]

For names, how about...

Larry, Moe and Curley? Snap, Crackle and Pop? Huey, Dewey and Louie? Athos, Aramis, and Porthos?

[landing_lights]

Those are cute. Last ones are from the Three Musketeers, aren't they?

[ He doesn't actually understand any of the other references... ]

[bossyboiler]

They are! I was trying to think of famous fictional trios.

text; un: GOLDENGUARD

[cardinalrule]

dON"T LEAVE THEMALONE WITH,THE oWL lADY.,

[Ha ha, jokes! Except he's kind of serious about that warning.]

yOU COULD call ONE RULER OFDEMONS., tHAT"S A GOOD NAME.

[landing_lights]

[ The name actually gets a laugh out of Ade. ]

IDK, not sure any of them look scary enough to pull it off.

Who's the owl lady?

[cardinalrule]

WhAT"S IDK StanD FOR?

EDA CLAWTHORNE. SHE IS ANOTHER WITCH FROM THE BOILINGISLES,, AND A,NOTORIOUS CRIMINAL.

[thedoctorsmate]

Not a big rat person, but they're cute, I guess.
What kinds of animal experiments is ADI running, though?

Maybe...
Flour, Sugar, and Soda?

[landing_lights]

[ He weighs how much to tell Donna and then switches to private messaging. Even if he doesn't intend to tell her everything, he doesn't want to sully the rats' reputation by revealing they were used to research an infectious disease. ]

These ones were used for pathogen research. Specifically, an alien pathogen from Bezer'ej. Testing on these guys showed that it couldn't survive in hosts not from my universe, so I figure I owe them one.

permaprivate

[thedoctorsmate]

Poor little things.
It's good you're giving them a nice retirement after that.
And good that can't... survive.
What's it even do?

un: bright

[abrightboy]

Templeton is a good name for a rat. You know, from Charlotte's Web.

[landing_lights]

Don't know that I ever read that book, but I like the name. Sounds classy.

[abrightboy]

Templeton the Rat was the first anti-hero I ever encountered in literature.

un: katrina

[twicelost]

[ Humans keeping predators as pets: sensible, logical, clearly improves odds of survival, makes sense the custom persisted in a post hunter-gatherer species.

Humans keeping prey animals as pets: strange, makes sense if the prey will be killed and eaten later, still incredibly new to her.

But he seems to really care about the rats, so she will be nice. ]

They are cute pets.

For names, watch them. Their habit may say what they like. Their personality. Hunter, Digger, Sleeper.

[landing_lights]

Thanks. I really like that idea.

I had a friend who kept two pet rats that he just called Black and White. Said he just thought of them as nicknames since he wasn't privy to what they called each other. I think he'd like your approach.

[twicelost]

Yes. We do not know how they communicate, but they do. They must, or they become extinct long ago.

[ Hey Katrina maybe don't be morbid and kind of creepy smh. ]

un: valentine

[outofthepast]

Cute little fellas. [Nice to see a rat that's not the size of a Welsh corgi.]

I'd call them Frank, Sammy, and Dean, myself.

[landing_lights]

Yeah. Those names from anything in particular?

un: hickey, text

[friendsfordinner]

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner?

Kidding by the way. But you know they're not going to last long, right? All the nonsense we end up dealing with, you know we'll have the entity of things that eat rats showing up sooner rather than later.

[landing_lights]

[ Gross as it is, the suggestion does get a morbid chuckle out of Ade. ]

Only if you want a taste of whatever was being tested on them in the medical labs. [ As if Ade doesn't know... ] Pretty sure rats only live a few years anyway and these ones are already adults. They'll have an easier time running out the clock than the rest of us.

CW, brief mention of sapient creature being owned

[failedpromise]

Awww.

(Sort of. Though kind of cute, they're not really her idea of pets.

...Not that she has much experience with pets. Unless you count being one.)

Sadly, the trio of names that comes to mind is already partially taken.

(Cortana, Joyeuse, and Durandal. But she doesn't want to share a name with a lab rat.)

[landing_lights]

I take it one of them is the name of someone already here? That would be kind of awkward.

[ Regardless of intent, he doubts many people would find it flattering to have a rat named after them. ]

text; un: mkblackwood

[lowficharm]

Oh they're adorable! I didn't realize ADI did animal testing.

[on... what, he can't really think, but that's a conversation for another day.]

Where's their main home? Maybe we could build them out a few different places to rest so they can travel around and be with people.

[landing_lights]

I think they'd like that. They were really curious when I was walking around with them for the first time. Poor buggers probably never saw anything but the inside of a lab before.

They're across from the water coolers in the second-floor offices now. Figure it's a good spot for people-watching.

text | un: bruno

[brunonono]

Oh if you get to know them they don't look alike at all. Those are really white rats. I like them.

[landing_lights]

Thanks. Guess I've just got to keep watching them.

They're albino, I think. Pretty sure most lab rats are.