LOG - July Catch-All/TDM Prompts (OPEN)

[conning]

Who: Neal and VARIOUS PEOPLE, POSSIBLY INCLUDING YOU?
When: Throughout July
Where: All around Gloucester
Summary: TDM prompts, as well as some other stuff, will get more specific as I write them.
Warnings: Nothing big at the moment tho lord knows that's bound to change. Scopophobia, paranoia, the issues mentioned in the TDM prompts.

Comments

[abrightboy]

“I was hurt more than angry,” Malcolm says quietly. “But I’m not now.”

[conning]

“I’m sorry,” he says, sincere, if still a little confused. He rests his forehead against Malcolm’s temple. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. And the kindest. The most honest.”

[abrightboy]

“Thank you.” But he doesn’t understand, really. Malcolm can tell. “I appreciate that. When is the assessment?”

[conning]

He sits up again, worry gnawing at him, though it’s not about the assessment. “I haven’t scheduled it yet. Whenever I want it, more or less. That’s what it sounded like.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm watches him for a moment. He’s nervous.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asks.

[conning]

Relief knocks the bottom out of his stomach. “Would you? Yes, I mean, I’d like that, if you want to come. They said it would take at least three hours.”

[abrightboy]

“That’s not that bad,” Malcolm assures him. “I’ll clear an afternoon of all the nothing I’m working on.”

[conning]

Neal snorts. Pauses. “Have you thought about… seeing if their psych teams could use any assistance? I know it’s not profiling, but it could be something.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm makes a face.

“You’re not the first to suggest it,” he admits. “But… I didn’t get into psychology to be a therapist. I’m a cop.” Sort of, anyway.

[conning]

“I know.” Neal grazes his knuckles lightly across Malcolm’s temple. “But it’s a way to help people, at least. A more direct way, without crimes to solve that make sense.”

He kisses Malcolm lightly. “I just don’t like seeing you so bored.”

[abrightboy]

"It feels like giving up," Malcolm says softly. "On what I want to do."

[conning]

“Like hell,” Neal says, almost surprised at his own intensity. “It’s only giving up if you don’t keep looking for another way. It’s something to do in-between.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm blinks at him in surprise, then his brow creases.

"But... it's not who I am."

[conning]

Neal tilts his head a little, unconsciously mimicking Malcolm’s own little tic. “Well, no, of course not.”

[abrightboy]

"Then why would I do it?" Malcolm asks with his own confusion.

[conning]

“Because it might be more fun than spinning in your chair at your desk all day.” Neal feels like they’re both learning things about each other in this conversation, but he’s not sure how to categorize the things learned.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm frowns faintly, still clearly not getting it, but he glances down at his lap.

"I'll consider it."

Neal isn't the first to suggest it.

"I mean. I guess... doing something is..." He shrugs.

[conning]

“You don’t have to.” Neal kisses his temple and takes one of Malcolm’s hands. “What is it? There’s something wrong.”

[abrightboy]

God, Neal is always so sweet and kind.

"I just. I don't know who I am here, without my job.... without him. And becoming something else just doesn't feel like the answer. I don't know how to find myself."

[conning]

Neal shifts on the couch to hold Malcolm's other hand, too. "Doing something else doesn't mean becoming someone else."

He understands, though. God, he understands all too well. The wallowing helplessness that came with wondering if he could be anything other than Neal Caffrey, brilliant criminal. In some ways the had the opposite struggle. He wanted to be someone else. People kept telling him he couldn't change.

"You're not going to figure out who you are sitting behind that desk and waiting for something to happen. You're not going to find yourself if you're not looking at what's here."

[abrightboy]

“But I’m a cop,” he protests weakly. He sighs. “I guess I could try working as a therapist. I’ve been to a lot of therapy.”

[conning]

“You don’t have to,” Neal says again. “I don’t want you to do it if you won’t be happy. I’m not saying you have to do it all the time, either.”

He frowns, squeezing Malcolm’s hands. “I don’t know. I just feel like—felt like—I’m starting to figure out what I need to do while we’re here. I want you to have that too.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm lifts his head to look at Neal. He doesn’t actually know what would make him happy.

“What do you need to do here?” he asks, eyes slightly wide with the eagerness of anticipation.

[conning]

“Find a way to stop the apocalypse,” he says, firmly. “Not piecemeal either. Stop all of them. Free this world and the people in it.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm thinks about that.

“I want to help the Avatars. Help them go back to being humans.”