ᴀᴅᴅɪsᴏɴ ᴍᴏɴᴛɢᴏᴍᴇʀʏ (
neonatal) wrote in
apocalypsehowcomm2022-05-13 08:39 pm
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► LOG
Who: addison montgomery + you
When: the rest of may
Where: a bar, the library
Summary: tdm prompts, getting her feet, losing her feet (alcohol)
Warnings: drunken disaster addie
► THE LIBRARY
When: the rest of may
Where: a bar, the library
Summary: tdm prompts, getting her feet, losing her feet (alcohol)
Warnings: drunken disaster addie
► THE LIBRARY
Is this on yours too?► A BAR
( she'd made them do a printout of the list, grabbing a pen from one of the desks and scribbling notes on it. it was weird, having a list that had her name attached to it but without any memory of having read any of the books. not that she'd had time to read a book lately, her last vacation had gotten sidetracked and well-- apparently she was now in gloucester.
so she was ignoring it, analysing lists and trying to do something that felt fine and normal when nothing really felt fine and normal. as if her life was normal anymore anyway )
I can't say I recognise the name... Which is weird, right? Reading a book you don't know you've read and probably haven't actually read? Right?
[ copied from her tdm ]
( she'd found a bar, she'd found wine. more than one glass if addison was counting (she wasn't). there had been some very nice men that had tried to explain this place to her, had been gentle about it but it was hard to accept. they'd seemed nice, believable and something had wanted to believe them. but she couldn't.
it didn't help that even before coming here her head had been reeling, that her emotions had been blown up and focusing on anything else when there were answers that she needed was hard. answers that she couldn't get. her brother was sick, her could die and... she could do nothing.
so wine had been the good answer. wine had been the only answer. lots of wine was the answer because addison really didn't want to be able to think of anything )
no subject
( she's done a few, for some of her patients it is definitely easier for her to go to the especially if they're on bed rest )
I am here to drink and get very drunk and to not think about any of this.
( with a very emphatic hand gesture at everything around them. except it's not just this place she doesn't want to think about or remember )
no subject
[Carter hums and nods. He had a feeling it might be something like this. After all, he had the same urges - still has them - and how could you not, with everything that was going on? There's a part of him that's suddenly envious, almost angry that she gets to drown her sorrows and he can't. It feels unfair. Why can't he? Why shouldn't he?
He dwells on these feelings for a moment, acknowledges them, and lets them go.
Or so he's telling himself.]
How's that working out for you?
no subject
( she knows that at least. it's not drunk enough, she wants to get to the state of sorrows fully drowned and not remembered but it's a start.
she raises her glass in a yay sort of thing, drinking some more of it )
So it's... distracting? It doesn't actually stop anything but distractions are what I need.
( no, addie, you should probably talk about some of the stuff at some point )
no subject
[It's non-judgmental, more matter of fact. He nurses his soda for a while, pondering her words, trying to come up with a response.]
What would you say is the thing you need the most distraction from?
no subject
( and since that is something that addison understands it makes it the more troubling to her, the thing that she really can't do anything for but worry )
no subject
[He's quite for a moment, mulling the words over.]
Before I ended up here I volunteered with the Alliance Medicines de International in the Republic of the Congo. Nothing felt right at home. Didn't know what to do, where to go. Being over there was more straightforward than everything at home. You go there, you try to help. It's very simple.
no subject
( and wouldn't have felt normal even if that's what normal used to be )
I've done fresh starts before, some that work, some that don't. I wasn't trying to run from anything this time.
no subject
[He pauses, then gives her a wry grin.]
Not just this place at least?
no subject
My brother. We thought he had a brain tumour but it turns out he has neurocysticercosis. ( she laughs slightly, shaking her head ) He didn't even tell me about the tumour until a seizure put him in hospital. They got so bad that we had to induce a coma and... I'm hoping that we can do the surgery quick enough.
( her plan had been to call derek, air ambulance over. but here she was )
no subject
Wait, you're... So you don't know how the surgery went?
[Damn.
Carter has been running away from pretty much everything in his life and pretty much everything was left unresolved. But he also didn't want that resolution. But to stay far, far away from it.]
I'm sorry. That must be rough.
no subject
( she sighs, finishing the last of her wine in a gulp that's bigger than she should have had )
My ex husband's a neurosurgeon but he's in Seattle. I have to call him but... I can't seem to call him here.
( because this isn't the massachusetts of her world )
Drunk is my answer. A bad answer but it's the only answer I have.
no subject
[He looks at her empty glass and he thinks of Abby, buzzed, defensive, combattive. Trying to convince her to accompany him to a meeting. Literally trying to drag her there.]
Sometimes it can help to get some new ones. From other people and places. When you can't find them by yourself.
no subject
( there's a little maudlin starting to drift in. or it already was there but is now being given a real voice )
How am I supposed to be here and not understand what here is? And have nothing?
no subject
[Maybe he could try and come up with empty phrases but what would that achieve?]
But I don't think you're gonna find it here. Or in there.
[He beckons at her glass.]
If you want to save your brother, if you want to give him the best shot at this surgery, maybe saving the world is the best way you can go on about that now.
no subject
Save the world? I'm a surgeon, we're doctors... maybe the world's too broken to be saved.
( too many terrible things happen and not just personal ones )