apocalypsehowcomm | Leave me here, Burning with you (Open)

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Leave me here, Burning with you (Open)

Who: Andrew Jaeger

bloodalwaystells and Everyone!
When: Late April-May
Where: Various locations
Summary: Catch-all for post-assassination and TDM events
Warnings: Scars, hospital setting, burn wounds, mentions of violence, murder, and torture, burned bodies, more will be added as needed!

((OOC: Open to planning, just PM or brimstonemuse to discuss ideas and set up a starter! I will match brackets or prose, as desired!))

The Infirmary ((Approx April 23-30, after this thread)) CW: Burn wounds and other damage, hospital setting

It's not the first time that Jaeger has been hurt in the line of so-called "duty", and it won't be the last. Normally, it's something he can fix, but not anymore. Not here, especially since using his powers is partly what got him into this situation in the first place.

So, a hospital bed is home for a while, until he is steady on his feet and showing signs of good healing. He's being kept in the infirmary ward for some fairly severe burns, and some rather mysterious internal damage that has him occasionally coughing blood. Bandages cover one arm and his side and chest, and there's a quietly beaten, haggard look to him that the big man seldom allows to show. Painkillers help, and so do visitors, though his entirely inadequate hospital gown shows both a fine array of decorative-looking scars (well healed) on his arms, and the vicious mark across his throat that by now is starting to become common knowledge.

Visitors will be greeted with a wan smile, though, once word gets out that he's laid up. It's better than listlessly flipping through cable channels for something interesting to watch. Most of the time, he settles on a murder mystery or old western, though other times he'll simply doze through whatever's on the screen.

Well-Read - (May 1 - 12): CW: mentions of torture, murder, scars/scarification, Bad Magic

Being out of the infirmary is a relief for Jaeger, even if it means returning to something like chaos. He's still healing, though, still tentative and careful in the way he moves. A book fair, though? That's a good excuse to get out and about. Fresh air, a change of scenery, and hopefully, bringing back something interesting to read while he's still recovering a bit.

There's still bandages, but he's better. He'll continue to get better, he's resolute on that. He might be out of action for a bit, but certainly not too much longer. He hopes.

In the meantime, he'll be found browsing the offered books, especially the folklore and local history sections. Or, occasionally, hunched over a laptop, a rare deep scowl on his face as the questions flash by. Terrible, pointedly direct questions, that the computer has no business knowing.

Hello, Sebastian. May we call you that? No. Invalid answer. Hello, Sebastian. May we call you that? No. Invalid answer. Hello, Sebastian. May we call you that? Yes. Excellent! Welcome, Sebastian.

This is not the worst of the questions. Not even close to it. Do you still love your wife? gets a vicious glare, and by the time he gets to Why did you kill Claudia when she was already helpless? he's ready to throw the laptop. Or just wither and die on the spot...that's an option too. He's tired and overdue for his next pain pill and goddamn, sometimes this place is just awful.

Alternatively, he might catch a glimpse of your screen, even in spite of his best efforts not to pry. But it's really just a reading questionnaire, right? There's no harm in seeing what kind of questions they're- oh. Okay.

Training Wheels Off - (May 13 - 14) CW: burn wounds, burned bodies, claustrophobia

The Train

Jaeger has never been fond of flying, really. A train proves much more comfortable, even if it's slower, and he is still healing. Most of the bandages are off by now, but he's still just a little bit careful, a little bit tired. Three weeks is a good amount of time to heal, though, and his wounds are well on the way to becoming new scars across his chest and arm.

He's going to choose to take the time on the train to relax as best he can, to lose himself in the liminal space of travel. They're going to be on the train for a while so he may as well make the best of it.

Until things start getting weird, at least. Then he can be found on a slow patrol of the train, or standing sentry (or sitting sentry) at one of the ends of the train cars. Breaks are taken in the dining car, usually with a cup of apple juice or a bottle of water and gaze alert to the darkness beyond the windows.

At some point in the evening, after the chaos of the Tunnel Incident, Jaeger will return to his assigned sleeping car, and whoever his roommate for the trip might be. If it's someone he knows, he will be as cordial as ever...if it's someone he previously hasn't met, well, he'll still be friendly, if a bit reserved? But quick to introduce himself before stretching out his huge frame on the provided bedding with a deep sigh.

Burned Bridges

He's not hallucinating. He's pretty sure of that, and the sight of the body propped up by the tracks, contorted by intense heat into something barely human-seeming, is a strange and surreal shock after the night they've had. He's seen a lot of Weird Things In The Woods but a body always draws his attention right away. It's wired into him by now, with all the awful things he's seen, even though through the glass of a moving train car, it's oddly distant and surreal.

Until Jaeger sees the lower portion of a leg, and the whole thing snaps into focus. Untouched, unscorched, just laying there amid the charred, leathery mess of the rest of the corpse. "That's human."

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Sometimes, hospitalization and painful medical procedures are, in fact, the lesser of trials. Jaeger has had a week to lay in bed and mostly zone out, but in his more lucid moments, the entire fight is still on his mind. A nagging, tugging sense of unease, of blooming guilt as he realizes that he did, in fact, cross a line.

Not a big one, and he might not even consider it, except for the fact that it had risked Winter's safety as well.

He's still on bed rest after being released from the medical ward, but the walk back to his apartment is...pleasant enough. Fresh air after the stale, sterile atmosphere of the ward. Time to just exist, hanging in that gauzy headspace of painkillers and pure bone-deep relief.

Any illusions of pleasantry die when Jaeger spots a familiar figure lingering by his apartment, though. He takes a deep breath, slowly, leaning on his cane and bracing himself for what's to come. He doesn't need a degree to know that the man is not happy, and that there's something coming between them like a dark wall of stormclouds.

Jaeger looks at Winter with weary blue-gray eyes and just...waits.

Winter pushes himself up from the wall, makes himself stand up straight, though most of his weight is on his good leg, and the metal arm hangs heavily, fingers occasionally twitching a little.

"You didn't follow the plan," he starts with. "You put yourself in danger. For no fucking reason."

Jaeger bites back his defense, because while he did need to make adjustments in motion, it hadn't been driven entirely by logic. He just stands there for an incredibly painful moment, feeling his burns throb and the rough, raw ache in his throat, and he knows he screwed up, no matter how good his reasons had felt at the time.

"I did." He sucks in a breath, leaning on his cane. "I was trying to adjust my line of sight. But that doesn't excuse it and I'm sorry."

There. There's reason in his misstep, but also actual acknowledgement. And no long, involved defense, no trying to soothe his own pride. He's said exactly what he needs to, and he'll leave it at that. For now.

He fixes the other man with a steady gaze, steeling himself for what castigation is to come.

"You could have done that from further away. Or you could have asked me to move her. That was my job. Instead, you took damage from someone who should never have known you were there. Over-exerted your magic with a spell you did not need to cast. Caused yourself harm." He has a good glare going on. One might infer that the last bit has him the most angry. "Next time. We stick to the god. Damn. Plan. Do you understand?"

Jaeger accepts the verbal lashing with calm, almost hollow silence, not looking away or flinching. It's not the first time he's been chastised, and he's been trained his whole life to accept criticism with resolute grace. His father, his Masters at the Brighter Dawn Foundation. He was raised to learn, and to obey.

He's not going to turn this into an argument. Winter isn't wrong, and countering his accusations won't buy Jaeger anything worthwhile. Not when he knows very well that he gave in a little too much to the Hunt.

He knows he's going to have to be far more careful moving forward, and that's the important thing to take away from this. That things don't work the same as they did at home, that he can't rely on his power the way he's used to.

And the fact that there might actually be a next time, that's reassuring.

"I understand." Jaeger waits until the other man is well and truly done before he speaks, his ruined voice sepulchral in the following silence.

Winter eyes him for a long moment, having somehow expected protests or anger, back. The calm acceptance is... weird. But it does make it hard to keep up a good head of steam. So he just growls, "You'd better," and turns to step out of Jeager's way. The man should clearly sit down. And probably drink something hot.

Jaeger isn't exactly expressive under the best of circumstances, and even more guarded when he's injured.

He knows better than to bleed in front of someone else, especially when it's his own shortcoming. There isn't much more to be said except "do better" and that's enough. That's what Jaeger is going to do. He said it, he meant it, what more is there to say?

He nods slightly toward Winter as he moves to leave, watching the other man with that continued tired resolution, until he's left enough space to let himself into his apartment.

Sitting down sounds like a good plan. The drink will come later, but right now he just wants to think, and take his weight off his wounds for a while.

Winter doesn't leave. Winter lets him unlock the door, but then he pushes in behind him, unless Jaeger catches him at it in time and tells him not to. "Sit," he says firmly. "Somewhere comfortable. Where you won't need to move for a while. I'll bring things to you."

Jaeger raises an eyebrow slightly at Winter's continued presence, before he gives the slightest nod, unlocking his door with stiff, careful movements. He really does trust Winter that much, he realizes, and with that thought some of the tension goes out of him.

He's just tired, and due for another pain pill. But it might be good to have someone around to oversee the process between medication and actually collapsing into bed.

Welcome to the madhouse, in the meantime, Winter. Most of the living room is taken up by Tony's various projects, a field of obstacles to be carefully navigated lest they wind up in even more disorder.

"Comfortable can be a bit of a challenge," he observes wryly. At least the kitchen counters are clear, the one rule that Jaeger and Cortana have both held firm on.

There's space on the couch if you don't mind the looming piles, and after a moment of debate, Jaeger chooses that as his place to rest.

He's not quite up to having anyone else in his bedroom. That's his space, his security, and it's...still kind of new to him. He's still working his way through the feelings attached to that. The couch will do, and Jaeger lets his small bag of prescriptions and supplies rest on the cushion next to him as he just enjoys Not Moving for a minute.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he says. He closes his eyes for a moment, head tipped back and just relishing the peace. Such as it is.

Winter knows who else lives here-- he keeps track of where all his people, for certain values of "his", live-- but looking around he frowns in disapproval. Clearly this is Tony's shit. Jaeger and Cortana wouldn't be making this kind of technological mess. He knows them well enough to know that.

"He can't keep his shit to his room? Or an office at ADI." He's heading into the kitchen, though, setting about putting together some... well, hot water, anyway. Does Jaeger have cocoa? If Jaeger has cocoa powder somewhere, that's what he's getting. If not, it'll have to be tea. Coffee is a bad idea when he's supposed to be resting.

Jaeger isn't the sort for any kind of mess, really- he likes things orderly, he likes to be able to work in an organized manner. He and Cortana have at least stood their ground on the kitchen being neat and navigable, but the rest? Probably a lost cause.

Jaeger isn't one for hot chocolate, but there is tea and that's probably better for him right now than the strong black coffee he usually drinks. He hasn't done any shopping, obviously, since his wounds, but there's still sugar and a small bottle of honey.

"I don't pretend to understand the logic in his head, if there is any," Jaeger grumbles, with a shake of his head. There's a note of helplessness to it, because anyone who knows Tony knows, well, exactly what he's like. "We try to rein it in as best we can, and we still have this."

Tea it is, then. Winter gets the honey out, because he has the vague thought that honey in tea is good for sore throats. ... He has no idea if Jaeger has a sore throat. But it's better than nothing.

"I don't understand him, either," he admits. "But he's not bad. He's been kind to me." He looks around with disapproval. "Just. Cluttered, apparently." That's probably a good way to describe Tony Stark in any case, to be honest. Even his speech patterns are kind of cluttered.

"Will he let you sleep? When you need it?" he asks.

Honey is good for a lot of things, and it just goes well with tea so there will be no complaints from Jaeger. Not that he would gripe anyway, but on this particular matter, he's content.

"I don't think he's bad, either," Jaeger agrees quietly. "I think he's been through a great deal, before coming here, and it shows. So I try to give him some leeway, let him work through things the way he chooses to."

It's not comfortable or convenient, but Jaeger does have his own space in his room and he spends a lot of time out or at work anyway.

"That's one thing I stand my ground on," he says, a little more resolutely. "Sometimes he's up all night working, but I have no problems telling him to keep it down. He's gotten better about it."

"Good. You need to rest."

Says the guy who got injured in the same fight Jaeger did. He pours the water over the teabag, and adds a dollop of honey, then brings it over with the spoon for Jaeger to stir to his liking. He's clearly limping, but he's just as clearly ignoring it and soldiering on.

"Careful. It's still hot. You'll have to let it steep for a minute." But even holding a warm mug, he's found, is nice when you're tired and upset. So hopefully that much helps.

"Thank you." He wraps his hands around the mug as it's offered, content to just let it warm him for a minute. It does feel good and he's glad to have it, especially since he didn't have to make it himself.

Jaeger gives Winter a long, appraising look at that, because in spite of his generally shaky status, he hasn't missed that Winter is holding himself carefully, mindful of things that may not be working at 100%.

"What about you? How are you healing?" he asks after that moment of appraisal, dark eyebrows quirked in question. He's not even sure that the other man had his wounds treated, but he can at least ask.

"I still need to do more repairs," Winter answers, giving his arm a little glare as a couple gears inside make a painful-sounding grinding noise when he tries to unbend the elbow. "But I have had worse."

And Yelena has thankfully introduced him to tylenol by now, so he could be feeling worse, too.

That does sound kind of awful, and Jaeger winces slightly, but nods.

It's all he can do, with his abilities now chained to something terrible. In a life or death situation, he might make the choice, but here and now, for something that isn't fatal? It's not a gamble he could make in any sort of good conscience. Especially not on the tail of the lecture he'd just (and rightfully) received.

"The trouble with technology in a strange world," he offers with quiet sympathy. "Take care of that leg, though. For however long we actually have some quiet."

"I'm not working yet," Winter says, sounding grumpy about it. "If I step foot back at ADI the. The doctors will try to wrangle me back. And I'm not going back." So he's convalescing, as much as he can, he's just doing it at home. Using his home-collected medical kit when necessary.

Jaeger cocks his head, but accepts that. He hadn't been fond of being examined either, but had given in to the necessity...along with medical care on several occasions where he was simply beyond his own capabilities.

He wound up needing medical care entirely too often here. It made it even more frustrating, not having his healing spells available, but at least there were options. Unpalatable, but...options.

"The doctors are good, but they're still doctors," he agrees quietly. The tea has had a moment to cool the slightest bit, and Jaeger lifts it to his lips for the barest sip. It's warm and sweet and very much comforting, and he keeps both hands wrapped around the mug to continue to soak the heat in.

"So long as you're taking what time you can to recover. I don't think we're going to always have the luxury, here, so it's good to take time when we have it."

"They're still doctors," Winter agrees darkly. It's clear to him, "doctor" is practically a dirty word.

But he does take the advice at least a little. He picks some scrap tech off of one of the kitchen chairs and eases down onto it, where he can see both the door and Jaeger.

"Belova was injured too. Fighting one of the other ones," he says.

"Still doctors." Jaeger isn't fond of medical attention either, but he's at the point where he's accepted it as a necessity of the career path.

Especially with a lack of the luxury of magical healing, but then again that's not always so reliable either. The thought is enough to make him want to touch the scar around his neck, but he stops himself in mid-gesture, letting his hand fall back to his lap.

The mention of Yelena gets the big man's full attention, and he looks to Winter for more details. It's not a surprise, exactly, but it is a moment for concern. And the slightest streak of guilt. "I had a few visitors while I was in the hospital, but I wasn't able to check in on everyone. How badly was she hurt? Is she recovering?"

He can't simply reach out and fix the issue, but he can care. Which he very much does.

"She's recovering," Winter assures him. "She's back at the apartment. With me and Kate. I'm keeping an eye on her."

He makes a face. "She makes me take painkillers. And sit down more." Which means she is also keeping an eye on him, which Jaeger might also appreciate. Winter's sort of gotten used to his slower healing rate without feeding the Stranger, but he still chafes at it. He still doesn't treat himself as kindly as he expects others to treat themselves.

"Good." Jaeger gives Winter a pointed look, though some of the fire in it is stolen by his fatigue and the fact that Winter did bring him tea. Which he takes a slow sip of, relishing the warmth and sweetness of it. "If we actually have a little bit of time to rest and recover, taking advantage of it is a good idea."

He's doing his best to be stern, but he's a little too tired to keep it up for long, and his posture relaxes again after a moment- just the stiffness left that the burns would account for. In bed, he might have a better chance of getting comfortable but sitting up is still a bit of an ordeal.

"I'll come visit when I'm a bit better, I should send her something as a get well present." The musing is quiet, thoughtful. "But I'm glad to hear that she's in good hands."

The thought crosses Winter's mind to make a rude gesture at Jaeger's pointed look. He doesn't do it, but he spends a beat considering it, and wondering where the idea even came from. It's not like he's mad at Jaeger (anymore). Maybe it's like his urge to say sarcastic things to Steve. Coming from a positive place but expressed in a negative way.

Weird.

"Don't push yourself," Winter says instead, shaking his head. "We'll still be here when you're feeling better. Do you need more tea? Anything to eat?" Because sitting here doing nothing feels useless, and Jaeger looks damn tired, so if there's nothing else... he might flee.

It wouldn't be the first rude gesture Jaeger's received, and certainly wouldn't be the last, either. The fact that it would be in something like good spirits makes a difference, too...affection is a weird thing.

Jaeger nods as he glances down into his dwindling tea, then back up at Winter with a small, wry smile. "I'm still going to be laid up for a few more days, but I think I'm okay with that. A few small things just to get up and move around won't hurt, though." He's going to need to keep moving while he's healing, it's just a matter of respecting his body's limits...and the doctor's orders.

Luckily, he's not particularly inclined to push past those limits. Once in a while, he actually listens to good advice.

Likewise, he's comfortable with silence, but he's not going to drag out the visit, either, not when Winter looks a little tired, too.

"I think this will be just right," he says, hands still wrapped around the mug as he sips at it slowly. "They did feed me before I left the clinic, so...I think some rest will be good. I'll have some groceries delivered in the morning, and in the meantime if I'm hungry I can make toast."

He pauses, silent again for a second, then adds, "Thank you. I appreciate it."

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