apocalypsehowcomm | Log: The Point of No Return

Who: Jaskier and YOU
When: March 14ish and beyond
Where: ADI Building + Flophouse
Summary: Jaskier arrives to - not as much fanfare as he generally hopes to arrive to, but one can't have everything.
Warnings: tw for mentions of graphic violence in Caduceus' thread.

Arrival - OTA/ADI Headquarters
Jaskier arrives in a janitor's closet. It takes a bit of doing for him to get himself out of it - mostly by his elbow catching on the lever-style door handle and him falling backwards out of it. His bottle of liquor is a nice thick glass, though, and does not break, and that's really what matters most to him at the moment.

He still gives a few pointed curses. He's covered in bruises from that last fight and being shoved under a table like four times. At least two times too excessive, he feels. Jaskier uncorks the bottle and takes a long pull from it, giving a small cough as he re-caps it to make sure nothing is lost. Merciful Melitele that shit burns terribly. He's pretty sure some of the witchers have to clean their swords with it.

Does the job, though.

"Hello-? Geralt?" Jaskier calls as he wanders. This really doesn't look like Kaer Morhen, but he's hardly had time to explore the whole of the Keep. "... Geralt's - uh, brothers?" Jaskier calls next, followed by "Child Surprise?" and then finishing it off with an utterly exasperated "Yennefer?"

He'll take anyone.

Arrival (Reprise) - OTA/Bonnie's Flophouse
It's well into full dark by the time Jaskier gets let go after being taken to their doctors to see to his injuries (just bruises and scrapes he's fine he's had worse - what's a 'concussion'?) given the runaround (fear drinking entities that wish harm upon the world, got it, same shit different day) and a crash course in what a phone is (... that too most of the time and even then Jaskier thinks it was more 'good enough' than certainty he understood). He takes one look at the rules for the barracks before opting for the flophouse instead, with a comment aside about a curfew and not being some noble maiden needing to protect her chastity. He'll take the indentured servitude over being treated like a bloody child, especially if he's being trusted enough to assist in stopping an apocalypse.

He's still grumbling about it when he's dropped off at the flophouse, bag made of a weirdly slick feeling but not wet fabric slung over one shoulder stuffed with what they called some essentials. He's really curious as to what they think are essentials given nobody gave him an instrument. Now he just has to find his room… well, he can either ask the first person he sees or just find a door and take his chances.

A Search For Knowledge - OTA/ADI Headquarters
A full night's sleep and a chance to recover from a mild hangover and Jaskier is feeling much better, far more up to being a curious little bird. First things first.

"Hello- yes, I was told there was a library here? You wouldn't happen to know where it is, would you?"

Look, he was told the only people in this building are ones who have business here, he's just assuming whoever he asks will know or will be able to point him to someone who does know.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Clearly." Just a tiny bit mocking, because that's sort of his default state, and he isn't about to stop being a shithead just 'cause he can't instantly bail on any situation. One day he'll learn the hard way that people might take some issue with being purposefully annoyed, but he isn't there yet.

He gives Jaskier's summary a quick mental review, before shrugging. "That's about the gist of it. You're on a planet called Earth, country called America, it's awful, avoid the bread." It's so sweet. Bread shouldn't be sweet. "The fear things, they call 'em Entities and they're trying to end the world. We're at ADI headquarters, they're a bunch of idiots trying to stop the apocalypse, mostly by sending us to do their dirty work, seems like."

Bold words for someone who has mostly stayed safely at headquarters after he got his ass kicked one (1) whole time.

Jaskier won't be the one to teach him that lesson, he's do adept at aggressively ignoring people's attempts to get under his skin unless they're done in very specific circumstances.

He puts his hands on his hips, listens to Crowley's rundown of the situation, nodding a bit as he takes it in. He's not sure how much help he can be to stopping an apocalypse, but it wouldn't be the first time he's gotten in over his head because the call came when he was standing nearby enough to jump to it.

"... What's wrong with the bread?"

How could you fuck up bread?

Crowley, immediately: I have to introduce this man to Aziraphale if his first priority was the request clarification on the bread situation.

"They've put sugar in it. And it's not even proper sugar, but it ruins the whole bread." Not that he's actually eaten all that much bread in his existence, but he's had enough to know that it shouldn't be sweet except in very specific circumstances.

Not that the bread situation is the most pressing concern. "C'mon, why I don't I walk you to orientation. They'll do a much better job of explaining all the nonsense."

Look, the rest he MOSTLY gets, or at least is accepting that it's something he probably won't get until he has more hands-on time with it. Bread? Bread requires clarification. He's about to ask what proper sugar even means - sweet bread is just fine isn't it? - but Crowley moves on and Jaskier figures it probably isn't worth splitting hairs over. Probably.

It's gonna bug him, though. He's gotta figure out what's up with that.

"I would greatly appreciate the directional assistance- I'm called Jaskier, what shall I call you new friend?"

Once Jaskier has eaten American bread then he will understand; it's beyond anyone's ability to properly explain how truly terrible it is when bread has corn syrup in it. For now, he's going to have to live with the mystery, a Crowley gestures to the right, before starting down that way.

"Anthony." Weird to be referred to as a friend, but some people are like that. "Is there a lot of magic, where you're from? Or is it just a few witches and their nonsense?"

There's a point to the question; a world where magic is common is more likely to rely on it, instead of develop technology to make life easier, so the answer will give him an idea of what level of advancement Jaskier might be working with.

Mysteries of bread set aside for the moment (but they will indeed bother Jaskier who will be having the bread at the first opportunity, maybe yelling 'for science' if anyone looks at him funny during it) Jaskier does indeed proceed to just act like he's already friends with Crowley. It's one of the easier ways to make friends, in Jaskier's experience. Just act like you already are and it all catches up.

Or they try to hit him. One of the two, but the odds are often better off for friendship.

"Pleasure to meet you Anthony," he says easily. "And that is the question isn't it? I can't make a terribly good assessment for you though unless I know where you're coming from. From where I stand- well, stood, in Kaedwen - I would say we have a moderate to low amount of 'magic' overall as there used to be far more of it on the Continent and it's been steadily fading over the ages. We'd probably seem utterly mundane to those that lived in the same place even five hundred years ago. On the other hand, you don't seem bothered about witches and Gates even if you have different names for them, so- an average amount? Let's see - if you display magical promise and you don't have anywhere else to go there's schools to teach magic across the Continent. Graduates of the school frequently go on to become advisors to rulers of the land though it's not uncommon for some to strike out on their own. You can find a witch in most medium sized towns doing business legitimately or illegitimately. Or at least someone who claims to be a witch selling potions or charms."

He gives Crowly a searching look as he explains this, seeing if it rings any bells or can be used as a reference.

For not being able to make a terribly good assessment, what Jaskier does explain gives Crowley a fairly good idea of what they're working with here, especially the mention of schools for magic, and the fact that witches can be political advisors.

And Crowley listens carefully, waiting for him to finish, because God didn't raise someone with no manners. "Right, well, you'll be in for a bit of a shock here." Understatement of the century, maybe, but now he has to decide exactly how much he wants to reveal about himself. Maybe that can come later.

"Inside the ADI it'll be fine, but the normal people going about their lives in the rest of the world don't really believe in magic, not that sort of magic." Religion is a different kettle of fish entirely. "Talking about witches will likely have them thinking you've lost your marbles. Humans killed most of their witches a few centuries back, the ones around these days know better than to talk about it."

Jaskier's eyebrows raise significantly at that information before furrowing a bit.

"That is ... interesting. There are some places where magic is not as thought kindly of as others, which is ironic given who did the major push against witchers in public opinion if certain records are to be believed but the point is I'm not wholly unfamiliar with the need to keep quiet regarding such things. Consider the secret kept."

It's caught his interest enough that he'd really like to look more into it though, if that curious gleam in his eyes is any indication.

"Smart lad." Bold of him to call a grown man lad, but in his defense he's ridiculously old and most people are young in comparison. He is being genuine, at least, even if it may come across as slightly condescending.

That's just what he's like, it's inevitable.

"You'll want to get yourself some clothes that won't make you stick out like a sore thumb, too. They give us a bit of money for that, s'about the least they can do." He's not sure if the ADI are actually responsible for bringing them here, or if they're just so incompetent they haven't figured out how to stop it happening, but either way. He's used to a certain level of luxury that really isn't an option anymore and he's a big baby about it.

Log: The Point of No Return

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i may be projecting

I'll allow it.

thank u for understanding

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