[OPEN LOG] Cracking

[henchgal]

Who: Meredith and EVERYONE
When: Early January
Where: Apt. B1, Bonnie's, ADI offices
Summary:Meredith returning from Medical; A Visit to Bonnie's; New Year, New You TDM prompt/A day at the office
Warnings: discussion of self worth that may include internalized ableism; non-graphic mention of medical issues relating to hEDS, self esteem issues and change of appearance (per New Year, New You TDM prompt)


1. My footsteps are ticking, like water dripping from a tree [Apt. B1 and close friends]
It's been weeks that Meredith has spent in medical, being poked and prodded and fed bland meals that won't upset her stomach. They don't talk about it, early on, how much connective tissue is in the digestive system. It's the mobility issues that everyone talks about, because those inconvenience the rest of the world. But the rest of it matters. Has mattered.

The day she returns home, she doesn't alert anyone in advance. She tries to be quiet, walking into the building and toward the front door of Apartment B1. Lets herself in and holds the knob as she closes the door so it won't slam. A part of her expects the place to be a disaster-mess without her having been around to tend to it. But maybe the boys (her) boys have kept it together enough while she's been away.

Either way, she creeps quietly toward her room, not sure if she's ready to see them yet.


2. Walking a hairline and stepping very carefully [Bonnie's]
Once she's ready for people-ing again, Meredith puts in a visit to Bonnie's, bringing with her a pan of fresh baked brownies in the hand not holding her usual walking cane. The ADI housing building is an easy place to live, but Bonnie's is better for hanging out and getting to know her fellow off-worlders, and there's probably been a fresh batch while she was away. Time to make new friends. After all, the more she has, the more likely someone will come save her when another disaster problem strikes.

But first things first. "Where do you guys keep knives and paper plates? I want to make sure to slice this so everyone can get a piece."


3. My heart is broken, it's worn out at the knees [ADI Offices]
It is a beautiful morning in the ADI building, and Meredith is...trying something different, clearly. Someone has hacked off her hair to a choppy clearly self-done bob (probably accomplished by putting her hair in a ponytail and lopping it all off at once), and she's wearing no makeup at all, so the bags under her eyes and her generally wan complexion are much more obvious than usual. Even her clothing shows signs of the distaste she currently has with her usual...everything. She's in a rather unflattering dark green turtleneck sweater-dress that's about two sizes too big, and mustard yellow leggings to match.

Maybe someone should check in on her.


X. Something is cracking, I don't know where [Wildcard]
darkersolstice or darkersolstice#9463 to plot if you want something else

Comments

[worthallthis]

"I don't know how to give you context." He hardly knows all of it, himself.

Though he does know some things. He considers a beat, then offers, "Secret multinational organization made me, owned me, sent me on missions. To protect freedom. By killing people." He's pretty sure they were not actually protecting freedom, these days, but that's still what he was told. "There was cryo between missions. There was. Maintenance. For when I started to malfunction." That's the basics. He doesn't think he's told her that much, straight out.

[henchgal]

It's the word malfunction that plucks a heartstring that resonates. Meredith...often talks about her body in terms of being functional. She's not good, she's not well, she's functioning--unless she isn't. Hearing it from someone other than herself, it aches a little in the deep part of herself that still quietly sometimes thinks that it's not fair, that she's this kind of a mess.

It would hardly be helpful to say that to him, though.

(Is it weird that she has no reaction to the rest? To the killing people, or the idea of him having been owned? It doesn't surprise her; she'd figured most of it out from how unfamiliar he was with having choice and freedom and touch that wasn't violence.)

"Cryo between missions--is that where you got the name Winter from? Because they had you on ice?"

[worthallthis]

That makes him pause, and frown, because he's never actually thought about it. He'd just accepted that it was the name of the program. "I don't know. I was called the Winter Soldier. Or the Asset. But Asset upsets people." And he kind of likes Winter, these days. Nobody at HYDRA ever actually called him that, specifically, so it's really just his alone, in the end.

If she's familiar with Thomas Paine, she might recognize the reference, but Winter himself is oblivious.