Malcolm Bright (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
abrightboy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
apocalypsehowcomm2022-01-04 01:12 pm
abrightboy) wrote in apocalypsehowcomm2022-01-04 01:12 pm
New Year, New You [OTA]
Who: Malcolm Bright and YOU
When: The first half of January.
Where: B1, ADI offices, around town.
Summary: Malcolm is aware that he has problems. Time to get rid of them for good! Because mental health works like that, right?!
Warnings: mental health struggles, vomit
There's a TV playing in the cafeteria at ADI when he goes down to get lunch after the new year. He's going to order soup; he already knows this. He's not even paying attention to the TV. He's lost in his own thoughts. But, as he waits in line, he changes his mind. Maybe he won't have soup after all. He's going to have a hamburger! And fries! Time to do like his mother says: stop all this nonsense. It's all in your head, Bright, he tells himself. That admonition is in a lot of people's voices from throughout his life.
He spends most of the afternoon in the men's room on that floor throwing up.
But Rome wasn't built in a day.
Back at B1 a few days later, he's staring at the tidy line of pill bottles on the kitchen counter. He's considering just throwing them away. He has to force himself to be normal; he can see it now.
At the coffee shop down the street, on another day, he orders his usual mocha and a big slice of chocolate cake. He'll try not to throw it up on the street but no promises. It takes time for a body to get used to new habits, is all. And if he's a little jittery, anxious, more unraveled than usual, well it's probably because he quit his meds cold turkey but he'll adapt. It's not to worry. He'll adapt.
Maybe he should stop relying on the restraints to sleep.
Maybe he should start going out to bars to meet people.
Maybe he should break curfew and crash with friends at Bonnie's.
Somebody stop him.
When: The first half of January.
Where: B1, ADI offices, around town.
Summary: Malcolm is aware that he has problems. Time to get rid of them for good! Because mental health works like that, right?!
Warnings: mental health struggles, vomit
There's a TV playing in the cafeteria at ADI when he goes down to get lunch after the new year. He's going to order soup; he already knows this. He's not even paying attention to the TV. He's lost in his own thoughts. But, as he waits in line, he changes his mind. Maybe he won't have soup after all. He's going to have a hamburger! And fries! Time to do like his mother says: stop all this nonsense. It's all in your head, Bright, he tells himself. That admonition is in a lot of people's voices from throughout his life.
He spends most of the afternoon in the men's room on that floor throwing up.
But Rome wasn't built in a day.
Back at B1 a few days later, he's staring at the tidy line of pill bottles on the kitchen counter. He's considering just throwing them away. He has to force himself to be normal; he can see it now.
At the coffee shop down the street, on another day, he orders his usual mocha and a big slice of chocolate cake. He'll try not to throw it up on the street but no promises. It takes time for a body to get used to new habits, is all. And if he's a little jittery, anxious, more unraveled than usual, well it's probably because he quit his meds cold turkey but he'll adapt. It's not to worry. He'll adapt.
Maybe he should stop relying on the restraints to sleep.
Maybe he should start going out to bars to meet people.
Maybe he should break curfew and crash with friends at Bonnie's.
Somebody stop him.
no subject
"Sure. Sounds... like a fun new experience, right? Do I need to, like, register or something?"
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And as they walk, he looks at Malcolm curiously. "So what's up with all the... new experiences? Is it like a new year's resolution?"
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"Why would you want to be normal?"
Being Gifted and queer, 'normal' was never in the cards for Jeff. His parents always taught him to embrace that, to be proud of the things that made him different, even if it could be a pain the ass sometimes.
"Fuck normal. What's normal, anyway?"
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Jeff has no poker face. He immediately winces and looks away to hide any further reaction. Yup, it's pretty obvious he knows what Malcolm's talking about.
"Concerts are different, man. They're like--" He waves a hand. "Transcendent. Don't worry about what he did at a concert, that's not normal day-to-day stuff, you know?"
That being said:
"Sorry things haven't been, um, moving in the direction you want..."
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If he were on top of his game, he might have put two and two together a bit, but Jeff’s shenanigans and Neal’s encounter with them aren’t what he’s focused on. What Neal got up to and who he didn’t get up to it with are just another in a long list of examples of why Malcolm needs to change.
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Malcolm's smart, and interesting, and clever, and sweet, but would he believe Jeff right now?
"Yeah, but then... Who's gonna be weird and pathetic with me?"
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“Probably me still; let’s be realistic,” he admits. He looks at Jeff. “Cool guys like you don’t talk to me at home,” he confesses.
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"Cool guys like me get insecure, too, um, like... especially around guys like you. You know, guys who're smart and can, like, dance and swordfight and punch a dude out in one hit."
And, more importantly!
"And I'm not cool, I'm a total fucking dork! Ask Tim."
no subject