apocalypsehowcomm | [OPEN LOG] Turkey Testicle Festival Open Mingle!

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[OPEN LOG] Turkey Testicle Festival Open Mingle!

Who: Everyone!
When: Post-Thanksgiving Weekend
Where: Bottoms Up Bar and Tavern
Summary: The annual Turkey Testicle Festival returns to a local Gloucester bar with special events including a turkey testicle eating competition, live music, karaoke … and some unexpected spooks and slaughter themed hallucinations
Warnings: Please put appropriate content warnings in your top levels! General warnings include:
For the festival: Alcohol
For the opt-in aftermath: Slaughterhouses, blood, implied animal cruelty, industrialized slaughter, tactile/auditory/visual hallucinations

Welcome to the Annual Turkey Testicle Festival!

It’s that beloved time of the year, folks! All across the United States, several towns host a much lauded festival called the Turkey Testicle Festival and lucky you, Gloucester just so happens to be one of those special towns that pay tribute to the full glory of the humble turkey. Fliers for the event hosted by the Bottoms Up Bar and Tavern can be seen all around town advertising the momentous occasion. See you there!

Dining & Drinking

Bottoms Up serves up classic American bar foods and offers a wide selection of local beers as well as hard liquors for anyone who wants to get their drink on. Just be sure to provide some kind of ID. Or get someone else to get you a drink -- it’s a party, the bartenders won’t ask so long as you don’t get them in direct trouble. But let’s be real, why are you here eating nachos and chicken wings when you could be eating….

The Balls

Ah yes, the crown jewels of the event, who could forget? Breaded and deep fried to golden brown, crispy perfection these balls are just bursting with flavor! Served with your choice of hot sauce for some spice or creamy white sauce, these delectables are said to taste just like chicken nuggets.

Dare to find out.

Or better yet, join the turkey testicle eating contest! Win glorious prizes such as a twenty dollar gift card to Walmart or a CD signed by Sense of Evan. ~~Please, they have so many CDs nobody seems to want…~~

Live Music

Looks like a local band is playing for part of the festival. For better or for worse, “Sense of Evan” are a cover and playing all the best meme hits from the likes of Evanescence, Avril Lavigne, Nickelback amongst others. Come jam out to the music, make merry with other festival attendees. Or maybe you’ll just be hanging out by the wall wondering how could this happen to me…..

Karaoke

But just because the live band’s done playing, doesn’t mean the music stops. Nope. Bottoms Up staff have dredged up a karaoke machine! Now it’s your turn to show off your singing chops and wow the crowd! Or conversely break a few eardrums. It’s all in good fun, right?

The Aftermath

…Or maybe it wasn’t all just in good fun after all?

For those who attended the festival , they may wake up the next day with some unwanted side effects. It might start out subtle — the odd sound of a conveyor belt moving along, the occasional electric shock by your neck. Weird bodily and auditory sensations that seem to flit in and out from an entirely different place. But as the day progresses, these strange occurrences seem to become stronger, clearer until the hallucinations really kick in.

Visions of yourself trapped in a steel pen, along with so many others all waiting to be pushed onto a conveyor belt. Perhaps you’re sharing the hallucination with others you recognize, perhaps you’re meant to work together to escape the seemingly endless line of slaughter and industrialized death. One way or another, these hallucinations will last a full day before they gradually taper off in intensity.

Notes:

• The after effects are purely opt-in. You do not have to play with any Slaughter themed elements if your character attends the festival.
• For the slaughterhouse hallucinations, feel free to go ham with the set up. Be as horrible to your characters as you like, please just warn with the appropriate content warnings.
• As per the mod’s notes, characters who choose to investigate Bottom’s Up following this incident, they'll find that the grocery store had a mix-up in their meat order and got something that came off of one of Sable's shipments. The grocery store's usual seller came up short and just bought up what they could find on short notice to cover the holiday rush.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ keith follows that last nudge with his eyes, and looks up to make eye contact as shiro turns the straw around. entirely deadpan,, keith sighs. ]

It has other guy cooties on it.

[ amazing, logical rhetoric. surely plato himself would have knelt down before keith's superioir intellect. >]

[ it doesn’t. it can’t. shiro wasn’t anywhere near the guy. reason dictates that the bartender would have passed the cocktail directly to the barmaid, who in turn would have gone directly to shiro, not once making contact with the guy. the problem here lies in the first word of that sentence: reason. shiro lacks the capability.

keith seems so certain. and well, shiro is convinced. ]

It does? [ his voice has gone too soft and too breathy, whispered like keith just let him in on secret, bombshell news. looking at the cocktail with fresh eyes, shiro is enlightened… yet so terribly stupid. he hunches over in the next moment, bringing himself eye level to the rim of the glass, as though he’ll be able to see these tiny cootie germs if he looks close enough. ]

You think he sabotaged it?

[ .... waitwaitwait, what's going on. why is shiro leaning in super close to the drink? can he see something in it from real close that keith can't? it's almost kneejerk to lean in as well, equal parts confused and curious.

the verdict? it looks exactly the same as it did before. brows pinching together in discontent, keith scrutinizes the glass. next bit out of shiro's mouth though? gets keith pulling all the way back looking horrified. roofies. flying kangaroo. could that be an unfortunate coincidence? sure. but it's shiro and it's this shitty reality, which means .... ]

Holy shit?!

[ shiro has exactly 2 seconds to keep keith from grabbbing and quite possibly yeeting the drink across the bar. ]

Edited 2021-12-05 03:58 (UTC)

[ shit shit shit. keith’s panicking. shiro’s panicking. this is why they shouldn’t have been shooting shots over some stupid drinking game, because neither of them seem to know how to stop this lousy assumption from skyrocketing. keith rears back but shiro stays close to the glass, hands now gripping the edge of the table.

cooties. sabotage. holy shit. yeah. shiro swallows and turns wide eyes toward keith, looking so unbelievably uncertain that it’s embarrassing. ]

Keith. [ hear the silent help me in his voice? ] Keith. [ he leans over and grabs for his forearm, fingers clutching tight near his wrist. ]

I drank some.

[ the roo~~fie~~s are already inside. ]

Edited 2021-12-05 04:19 (UTC)

[ keith gets his fingers wrapped around the stem of the glass, but before he can get any further there are fingers on his arm and.... ]

Huh?

[ keith hears the words, but the impications follow sluggishly, fighting reality every nanosecond of the way. shiro drank some. shiro drank some?!?!? keith's eyes widen, grip slackening on the glass to instead reach across the table to press his hand to shiro's forehead. classic roofie safety protocol, right? ]

Oh no, Shiro.... [ keith rises to his feet, a pinch unsteady. ] Oh no, it's gonna be okay I'll take care of you.

[ so what are the symptoms of being roofied? extreme drunkenness? well, now he takes a moment and garners enough self-awareness to realize he’s out of it. not enough self-awareness to conclude he and keith are jumping to ridiculous conclusions though. drowsiness is another symptom. is he? may… be? he’s never too far from exhausted in general, so…

difficult to gauge.

amnesia and foggy memory are next. well, he can’t remember the guy from a few minutes ago – does that count? fuck, maybe the cocktail really is flying high on something extra.

so it’s going to be okay? he tips his head back. blinking slow and hazy up at keith. keith… he always takes care of shiro, no matter what. he’s in good hands; he believes that without a shadow of a doubt. nonetheless, he’s not anywhere near comforted, because he’s too busy weathering the guilt, his expression collapsing in on itself and leaving him looking pained. ]

I’m sorry. [ voice thick, it’s slightly slurred as words flow right into one another. ] I ruined our outing. [ he clings to keith’s arm for another beat and then loosens, hand flopping back to the table. ] I just wanted to eat turkey balls with you.

[ shiro's forehead doesn't feel especially warm or cold under keith's fingers which.... okay, yeah, doesn't actually give keith much new to work with here. despite very earnestly wanting to take care of shiro, he isn't actually all that sure of what to do in this exact situation and curiously enough mostly just finds he misses the red lion.

everything was easier when red was around to punch holes through walls to come get him in trying times. this reality with entities, avatars and apparently dangerous bar guys trying to hurt his best friend just makes keith want to punch something repeatedly. especially now that shiro's making that morose face at him.

in the immortal words of sense of evan, there's just too much that time cannot erase. ]

No, shut up. [ despite the tactfulness there, keith's voice has gone soft. fingers coming away from shiro's forehead to squeeze his best friend's wrist. ] You didn't ruin anything. It was all that guy's fault.

[ ah yes. that guy. an excellent description. keith's head snaps up as he scans the bar like "that guy" might actually pinpoint the right guy. curiously enough, it does not. keith grumps audibly, attention turned back to shiro. ]

Tch. What's with weirdos today anyway. Some guy asked me to go to the bathroom with him while you were gone. I just wanted to eat turkey balls with you, too.

Edited 2021-12-05 07:42 (UTC)

[ there is a strange sort of calmness that follows the bluntness of keith’s fussing. shut up; ah, yes, shiro snaps his jaw shut and for a few blessed ticks, even the spiraling of his thoughts goes silent. that steadiness is promptly cut off at the knees unfortunately. keith gives up on glaring at every man standing at the bar and introduces another player to this mockery of a discussion.

wait. there are two some guys? keith has one too?

and look at that, the two minutes have run their course and shiro’s brain cells finally fire with the awareness of those two martini glasses. he zeros in on them immediately. a bleary blink that holds no synchrony between both eyes and then there’s a building repetition of oh no that he can feel in the very depths of his soul. some guy and keith. two drinks. one bathroom?

shiro slams his hands to the table and shoves his chair back with a matching loud screech as he leverages his weight to stand up. his steadiness isn’t any better than keith’s. ]

You drank those? [ his gesture toward the glasses is rough and uncoordinated, his balance tipping with the motion. he recovers, thankfully, and steps completely into keith’s space, unnecessarily crowding him until their bodies almost touch. again, he looks panicked. not for himself – he seems to have forgotten the guilt and worry for his own foolishness – and now has completely moved onto his best friend’s jeopardized wellbeing. ]

That some guy wanted to get you. [ it’s vehement; apparently some guy is shiro’s now accepted code for bad guy with sinister intentions. ] Maybe he did.

[ welcome to the roo’d world. ]

[ the sudden slam of hands on the table makes keith flinch, then subsequently tilt back onto the back of his heels as shiro comes to loom above. so tall... ]

Um... [ give him a second to follow this train of thought. [ Maybe he did.. what? Get me a drink? [ confused, but seemingly footing found, keith gestures at the two empty martini glasses. a beat, then he actually breaks into a smile. ]

It was really cool. They set it on fire. I didn't know there were drinks like tha! Think it was called a Flaming Lamborghini.

[ a drink so cool is obviously roo proof. ]

[ keith’s smiling. why is he smiling? why is he smiling after gesturing at the martini glasses? why is he smiling while relaying an experience had with some guy?

the questions overwhelm shiro to the point that he has no means to do anything with them other than to collapse under them. his mood crashes in a blink. the panic is gone but there’s a different strain of fear now dogging him: turns out keith didn’t miss him all that much while his was gone, huh. ]

… So you had a good time with some guy.

[ dejected, he steps back and crosses his arms over his chest, now outright glaring at the martini glasses. flaming lamborghini, hmph. ]

No....?

[ one blink and seemingly his best friend's upset now? keith takes a step forward to reclose the gap, hand resting on shiro's crossed arms. brow furrowing, he minces no words. ]

The guy was a dick. He said since you obviously ditched me that I should go with him.

[ scowling at the memory, keith folds his own arms after a moment. ]

I just thought the fire was sweet. You'd have liked it too, I bet.

[ okay. definitely a dick. where is this dick by the way? sounds like dick needs a good throttling. brain reduced to its baser instincts – no, shiro finds nothing over-reactionary about this. anyone trying to steal his best friend, especially with so false falsehoods, needs a stern talking to. with fists. especially of the galra tech kind.

fire sweet, fire good, a clearer minded shiro would like to see this flambeed cocktail buuuut he’s far too outraged, inwardly fumbling over himself in the rush to deny the lie that he only manages to get it together once keith is done. barely a beat after and then there’s a rush of: ]

I would never ditch you. [ now he’s the one touching keith’s crossed arms, though, his is less resting and more grasping at his elbows, hauling him in until they touch and sandwich keith’s arms between their chests. ]

What was this guy doing? Watching you? [ waiting for the moment to swoop in? creep. he’s glaring at no one in particular, just… glaring at the mass of people in the bar. forgive him for his ridiculousness, please, but feeling protective of his best friend, shiro shifts to wrap his arms tight around keith. ]

I’ll never give up on you. Remember? I said that. [ it applies – kind of. annoyed, he squishes keith ever closer. ]

You’ll have me always. You don’t need to go to the bathroom with any one dudes. [ ok shiro what. ]

[ keith does not understand this emotional rollercoaster shiro has strapped himself into, but whatever concern he'd been about the voice is abruptly smooshed into shiro's chest. hi? keith tenses, then relaxes a beat later, deciding that yes, saying hi to pec is a-okay. ]

I know, I know...

[ it's murmured a little soft, face tipping up just barely to make himself more audible. ] You're the only one dude I'd go to the bathroom with.

[ ...for whatever reason shiro might want to go to the bathroom together for. bless keith's soul, he still doesn't know what that was about. maybe the guy didn't know where the bathrooms were? wanted someone to stand guard while he did his business in the stalls??? just.. weird. ]

[ hear that dick, wherever dicks hide: keith only has eyes for shiro… as a bathroom partner. that elated feeling of triumph fades in one beat, two beats, and his murky thoughts connect to understand the full meaning of that statement. okay, not understand, because nothing shiro is thinking makes any sort of sense in the context of who they are to each other but…

keith wants to visit the bathroom with him? takashi shirogane. not some guy. not his adi crush. ex-crush? it has been a few weeks since a dejected keith confessed his crush didn’t like him back…

idiot.

shiro huffs and tightens his arms on another squeeze, locking keith suffocatingly close for one, extended beat before deciding: ]

You deserve better than a bathroom. [ … surely there’s more to that statement. sadly, there isn’t. shiro relaxes his grip and lets keith go free. mostly, because his palms still find placement on keith’s hips. amazingly, even buzzed to high hell, shiro has enough ingrained care to realize keith deserves better than a filthy, bar bathroom as the backdrop as his first experience with a boy. he gives keith’s left hip a pat, swaying ever so slightly on unsteady feet. ]

So let’s just eat some balls.

[ slightly disgruntled over being dislodged from a perfectly comfortable place, keith wrinkles his nose as he looks up at shiro. though a beat later, he has to ask: ]

... I do?

[ ??? the pistons are slow to fire in keith's head, but that still registers as an odd combination of words. deserve better than a bathroom -- how so? does one deserve to escort someone places? suddenly his head hurts in the familiar way that it does whenever he's starting to think he's lost the plot. ]

Oh... [ at the very least, the suggestion shiro throws out about eating turkey balls is met with obedience as keith feels for the booth and takes a seat again. he even reaches for his little cup of balls and dipping sauces but his eyes are still very much on shiro, one foot still lost in that same old rabbit hole. ]

I guess I'm glad you don't need me to go wih you to the bathroom then?

[ help, he's so big eyed and confused.... ]

[ shiro sits himself down as well, feeling steadier already, now that he isn’t trying to balance six feet plus on legs that seem to want to tilt this way and that. keith has control of the balls, which is fine. shiro is busy frowning at his slightly soggy glass, condensation beginning to appear on the sides. he nudges it toward the center of the table, only to think better of it and keep pushing it all the way to the other end, as far away from keith as he can get it.

oh. they’re still talking about the bathroom?

shiro turns his head to look to keith, dragging his hand to set it in front of himself on the table. he rubs his index and thumb together, dispersing the wetness there and then with far too much seriousness: ]

I’d never jeopardize us by taking you to the bathroom. [ just because they’re cutting loose at a bar and just because keith isn’t a bad looking dude, doesn’t mean they should do that. sure, it’s been a really long time for shiro and sometimes he wants to break the dry spell, but this is keith. his best friend. though, some guy here doesn’t seem to recognize that. shiro does need to assert his claim as best friend – is that a way to do that? shiro doesn’t think so… but blearily, he does take a moment to reconsider, doubting his once vehement confidence.

maybe they should…? no. ]

I have more self-control than that. [ … clearly demonstrated by him being currently trashed. ]

[ the baffled look on keith's face intensifies as he haphazardly skewers a ball on the end of his fork and accidentally splashes it into the ranch. jeopardize us? i have more self control than that?

keith blinks, then attempts to scoop out the ball by rolling it around somewhat ineffectually. ]]

You[re not putting me in jeopardy by going to the bathroom...?

[ it's laugable that there's enough uncertainty in keith's voice that it even sounds like a question. this isn't dogtown, but it's still gloucester so.... who knows? maybe there's some freaky but cool oddity hiding out in the bar bathroos?? at least that almost starts to make sense of why the other guy wanted to take him to go?? brow furrowing, keith finally manages to reskewer the ball, and lifts it out of the ranch, now thoroughly drenched in white sauce. ]

You don't have to protect me from the bathroom, you know?

[ maybe not. keith is an adult. they’re both adults. some friends do that sort of thing for a whole slew of reasons: boredom, need, loneliness. if he and keith decided to give a casual hook-up a try, what would their justification be?

murky thoughts becoming murkier by the second, shiro stares at that ranch coated ball. ]

Guess not.

[ the words come a pinch slow, like he isn’t fully convinced even as he’s agreeing aloud. he eyes the white ball for another beat and then reaches over, snapping a ball himself, straight out of the cup via his fingers. a frown follows. ]

Do you only wanna go with me because your crush doesn’t like you?

[ desperation is also a reason. ]

[ where keith had been focusing his efforts entirely on not dropping the ball, the mention of his crush gets his attention to fracture instantly. ]

My crush?

[ ??????? hell, even those questions may as well be audible. confused and now definitely lost, there's a totally blank look on keith's face as he stares at shiro. why would he want a crush to take him to the bathroom at a bar of all places? he ponders on his own for a second, but it threatens to make his head hurt. ]

I want to go with you because it's you.

[ try as he may, he's unable to get the duh out of his tone, even though he's really not quite sure why he's even arguing over the bathroom at this point. ... or arguing in general, reallu, but the words continue to pour out. ]

Nonexistent crush has nothing to do with it.

[ scowl-pouting slightly, keith's eyes go back on the coated ball balanced on his fork. there is... definitely too much ranch on this thing, but maybe that'll only enhance the taste? tentatively keith gives the ball a lick. ]

[ hold the fucking phone. the crush is nonexistent? sure, shiro knew keith thought his crush was unrequited and yes, it’s been over a month since keith clued him in on that, but turmoil or time don’t always mean the heart gives up. keith is over it though; over this mystery someone that shiro still agonizes over. who is it? what do they look like? tall, short, slender, beefy, light haired, dark haired…

huh. all these years and he doesn’t have the slightest clue of what keith’s type is. how is that possible?

his drunk brain is especially focused on this right now and perturbed, really, because as his best friend, shouldn’t shiro know what kind of dude keith is into? considering that keith is okay with visiting a bathroom stall with him, shiro can probably assume that he falls somewhere in the range of what aesthetically pleases keith, right?

… why is this important?

he pinches the turkey ball between his index and thumb as he considers this… only to derail immediately upon seeing keith taking on his own turkey ball. just – keith. that isn’t how one is supposed to approach this. ]

Oh. [ he can’t tear his gaze away. it’s there. it’s stuck there; staring at the licked, bare strip along the testicle, the heavy coat of white making him think things he should not be thinking. perhaps that’s why his mouth runs away from him with this dumb crush discussion…? should it even be considered a discussion? ]

So you’re available. [ physically. emotionally. available for what though? And for who? ] That’s good to know.

[ the sample lick yields unsurprising results. it tastes like ranch. incredible insights into what lies beneath a coating of fried batter. keith doesn't have a refined palate so he doubts anything about the experience of a turkey testicle will be especially offensive, but it's hard not to keep circling back to it's a ball and then thinking about his own.

mercifully, shiro keeps interrupting this cycle by apparently refusing to drop the crush debacle which has now become inextricably linked to the bar bathroom in keith's very clear headed mind. stalling a little for time, he looks away from the ball and raises an eyebrow. ]

Well yeah, I'm available. [ it's matter of fact, but still questioning. if anything the fact that keith isn't embarrassed about this is probably the clearest indication that he has no clue what shiro's actually getting at here. in fact: ] Did you want to go to the bathroom now?

[ ...for whatever mysterious reason that shiro can't go alone?? he starts looking away in the direction of the bar bathrooms when he happens to spot the flying kangaroo in his peripheral vision. ir clicks then. ]

....do you need to puke?

[ that’s a loaded question. they’ve been circling this will they or won’t they bathroom bit for a good while now and each time it’s reoffered to shiro, that once, very firm belief that they shouldn't comes back weaker. last time it came with a maybe they should and now it’s a few steps further into it might not be so bad. dangerous territory, that’s what that is, but does shiro have the capacity to process the kind of consequences that would follow such a decision?

he’s nodding. he’s actually nodding. it’s a barely there, slow bobble of his head, sure, but it’s still a nod. he gets two, three in as he watches keith look away. warmth fills his system, the beat in his chest picks up and he feels dizzy on the knowledge that he’s accepting, that they’re going to do this, that they’re going to stumble their way into a stall and –

nevermind.

there are two ways for drunk shiro to react to this: lean hard into the preposterous of it with some boisterous laughter or hyper focus on how offended he is that keith is even thinking about him hurling. judging by the scrunch of shiro’s face, he’s going with the second option. he makes a hmph sound in his throat before he pops the turkey ball into his mouth, chewing on it with a pout. grumbles in between chews. ]

I don’t need you to hold back my floof. [ he feels fine, thanks. ]

[ ah, so shiro does need to go to the bathroom? is this two cent sherlock holmes mystery finally over? .... evidently not. the last question has clearly displeased his best friend and keith is left floundering all over again. ]

....oh.

[ his expression falters as he drops eye contact to look back at the ball resting on his fork. should he be apologizing, even though he isn't sure what for? it wouldn't exactly be the first time he's said the wrong thing and gone and offended someone without meaning to. wanting to sigh, but refraining, keith keeps his eyes on the ball as he speaks. ]

Okay. I didn't mean to upset you. [ a beat. ] I don't think anything in my head's making sense right now. Sorry.

[ he’s not upset. or is he? he doesn’t know. it seems his head isn’t making any sense either. ]

Yeah. [ a beat, in which that pout lets up and he relaxes closer to neutrality. ] Mine too.

[ if neither of them are thinking straight, then that means going to the bathroom to not be friends is… bad? trying to follow the logic of his fragmented decision-making, shiro concludes that he had it right the first time: friends don’t go to the bathroom together. a shadow of that pout is back, though it’s one of confusion rather than an annoyed feeling. ]

Let’s not go to the bathroom until both our heads are working again. [ he tacks on a nod, encouraging the belief that that’s the right decision by supporting it himself. ]

We'll stay here and eat these balls, okay? [ he reaches over then, to snag another ball and pop it in his mouth as he eyes up keith’s still mostly untouched ball. come on, keith, catch up. ]

[ ok. so shiro isn't mad, used to want to go to the bathroom but doesn't want to anymore and is now prompting him to refocus on the turkey balls. summation of events neatly organized, keith still keeps his eyes on shiro for a moment longer, trying to make inferences out of facial expressions his brain honestly isn't in any kind of state to accurately interpret. ]

If you're sure.

[ pouting doesn't make it seem like shiro is sure, but keith's finally getting it into his head that maybe the bathroom is too touchy of a subject to be dealing with at this point for reasons that are still unclear to him. looking at the ball then, keith eyes it with a lingering bit of uncertainty. shiro had just popped the thing whole in his mouth,, so that's probably the best bet on how to go about eating a known testicle. frowning very slightly, keith stalls a moment longer. ]

Did you do anything special to commemorate your first ball?

[ why the fuck would anyone commemorate this? don't ask keith. he's just very unsure if he wants to know if the turkey nuggets of ye olde good days were a hoax from the start. ]

Welcome to the Annual Turkey Testicle Festival!

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cw: mention of roofies ( just 2 drunk boys being drunks, there are no actual roofies )

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