apocalypsehowcomm | [OPEN LOG] Turkey Testicle Festival Open Mingle!

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[OPEN LOG] Turkey Testicle Festival Open Mingle!

Who: Everyone!
When: Post-Thanksgiving Weekend
Where: Bottoms Up Bar and Tavern
Summary: The annual Turkey Testicle Festival returns to a local Gloucester bar with special events including a turkey testicle eating competition, live music, karaoke … and some unexpected spooks and slaughter themed hallucinations
Warnings: Please put appropriate content warnings in your top levels! General warnings include:
For the festival: Alcohol
For the opt-in aftermath: Slaughterhouses, blood, implied animal cruelty, industrialized slaughter, tactile/auditory/visual hallucinations

Welcome to the Annual Turkey Testicle Festival!

It’s that beloved time of the year, folks! All across the United States, several towns host a much lauded festival called the Turkey Testicle Festival and lucky you, Gloucester just so happens to be one of those special towns that pay tribute to the full glory of the humble turkey. Fliers for the event hosted by the Bottoms Up Bar and Tavern can be seen all around town advertising the momentous occasion. See you there!

Dining & Drinking

Bottoms Up serves up classic American bar foods and offers a wide selection of local beers as well as hard liquors for anyone who wants to get their drink on. Just be sure to provide some kind of ID. Or get someone else to get you a drink -- it’s a party, the bartenders won’t ask so long as you don’t get them in direct trouble. But let’s be real, why are you here eating nachos and chicken wings when you could be eating….

The Balls

Ah yes, the crown jewels of the event, who could forget? Breaded and deep fried to golden brown, crispy perfection these balls are just bursting with flavor! Served with your choice of hot sauce for some spice or creamy white sauce, these delectables are said to taste just like chicken nuggets.

Dare to find out.

Or better yet, join the turkey testicle eating contest! Win glorious prizes such as a twenty dollar gift card to Walmart or a CD signed by Sense of Evan. ~~Please, they have so many CDs nobody seems to want…~~

Live Music

Looks like a local band is playing for part of the festival. For better or for worse, “Sense of Evan” are a cover and playing all the best meme hits from the likes of Evanescence, Avril Lavigne, Nickelback amongst others. Come jam out to the music, make merry with other festival attendees. Or maybe you’ll just be hanging out by the wall wondering how could this happen to me…..

Karaoke

But just because the live band’s done playing, doesn’t mean the music stops. Nope. Bottoms Up staff have dredged up a karaoke machine! Now it’s your turn to show off your singing chops and wow the crowd! Or conversely break a few eardrums. It’s all in good fun, right?

The Aftermath

…Or maybe it wasn’t all just in good fun after all?

For those who attended the festival , they may wake up the next day with some unwanted side effects. It might start out subtle — the odd sound of a conveyor belt moving along, the occasional electric shock by your neck. Weird bodily and auditory sensations that seem to flit in and out from an entirely different place. But as the day progresses, these strange occurrences seem to become stronger, clearer until the hallucinations really kick in.

Visions of yourself trapped in a steel pen, along with so many others all waiting to be pushed onto a conveyor belt. Perhaps you’re sharing the hallucination with others you recognize, perhaps you’re meant to work together to escape the seemingly endless line of slaughter and industrialized death. One way or another, these hallucinations will last a full day before they gradually taper off in intensity.

Notes:

• The after effects are purely opt-in. You do not have to play with any Slaughter themed elements if your character attends the festival.
• For the slaughterhouse hallucinations, feel free to go ham with the set up. Be as horrible to your characters as you like, please just warn with the appropriate content warnings.
• As per the mod’s notes, characters who choose to investigate Bottom’s Up following this incident, they'll find that the grocery store had a mix-up in their meat order and got something that came off of one of Sable's shipments. The grocery store's usual seller came up short and just bought up what they could find on short notice to cover the holiday rush.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dining and Drinking

Caduceus arrives looking quite... human. For those that know him around ADI, the long pink hair and the height and the general way he carries himself will definitely call to mind the firbolg everyone knows and side eyes. Anyone from Bonnie's, or who happens to see him out and around town a lot, will definitely recognize the human disguise he wears whenever he's off ADI property.

He heard about all this over the network, and even if he has absolutely no intention of eating anything's testicles, he is kind of curious and it'd be nice to be social. Between a big family and the Nein, he likes a bit of a crowd.

After getting himself a drink, he's happy to hang around the bar or join people at a table.

Later
"Oh, that was not tea."

That definitely wasn't tea. A well-meaning bartender served up a Long Island Ice Tea and Caduceus made the mistake of drinking about half of it. It really isn't enough to get him drunk (definitely tipsy though), but it leaves the lanky cleric feeling a little green. He tries to tough it out at his table, but the noise and press of people is making it harder to really center himself.

He really should have stuck with water. Or done what Jester always did and ask for milk or something. Now he can't really fathom eating or drinking anything.

He stumbles a little as he gets up from his table, and it's hard to miss him given how tall he is. And the pink hair.

Maybe someone could be so kind as to help him outside?

Live Music

Gangly as he looks sometimes, Caduceus isn't that bad on a dance floor. It's unselfconscious movement at its best, and for the most part he tends to hang around the edge rather than getting in the middle, moving around to the beat and enjoying himself. If he spies anyone that looks like they might want to dance but won't do it alone, he'll sidle his way over to ask,

"Hey, wanna dance?"

No reason anyone has to rock out all alone, right?

And if things get a little rowdy, Caduceus is quick to swoop in and help people up off the floor if they go down.

Wildcard

[Catch Caduceus at the bar, a table, or the dance floor! I will also match style, so feel free to use brackets if you prefer them. Ping me at givemedragons or via PM if you want to plot or have any questions.]

Mercy is having a ball with this. There are people buying her drinks, somehow fascinated by the fact that she seems to be able to outdrink all of them. She's flushed, but she's been holding her liquor for years, and mostly thinks it's funny how easily most people here seem to be down after a few pints.

She's giggling with some people who are examining the turkey balls when she notices someone tall and very pink lurching upward. The look on Caduceus' face is enough to tell her he's in need of the fresh air or a toilet. Possibly both. As much fun as she's having, a friend need is more important.

"Hey there, Big Brother! You're looking a mite heated up. You wanna help a girl outside?" She wraps an arm around him, under his shoulders, offering herself as a leaning post as she urges him toward the door.

Thank every god he has a name for. Later, he might feel bad for interrupting Mercy's night, but right now he's just happy to see her.

"Oh, hey Sister Mercy. Outside sounds good."

He wobbles a little and he's immediately glad for her arm around him. He tries not to lean, though. She might be able to handle some of his weight, but he's a bean pole and he doesn't want his center of gravity compromised too badly.

It takes him a second to properly move. Caduceus looks down at the floor like he needs to be very sure where his feet are going and he trusts Mercy to steer him otherwise. His arm tightens around her shoulders when someone careens past them, but they don't topple over so he'll call that a victory.

"Thought a big fella like you'd hold it all in. You get some sort of bad food?" Given some of the fare she's seen tonight, it's a possibility. And with Caduceus not being a meat-eater... maybe that's why he's gone green around the gills.

"We'll set you down and I'll fetch you a water once we're out, no matter."

"I think it was the drink," he says as they near the door. Caduceus puts a hand out to push it open so Mercy doesn't have to let go of him.

The blast of chilly air is a relief after the warmth of the bar and he takes a deep breath of it to try to settle his stomach. It's possible he's had something that had meat in it or on it without noticing, but he's been pretty careful and he's never had a bad reaction to that before on the off-chance it happened.

"Oh... that's better."

Mercy guides him gently out into the night's chill and over toward some benches set near the pub. The sky is clear for a change, and looking up, she can see stars twinkling in the distance. Such strange and foreign constellations she has yet to learn the shapes or names for.

"Better, but still working our way to feeling back to where we were, hmm? Let's get you sat down. How much did you drink?"

Caduceus sits down carefully so he doesn't drag Mercy with him. He sighs and pushes his hair back, absently gathering it into a braid off to the side.

"Half a glass," he admits somewhat sheepishly. He knows other people are far better at holding their alcohol, but it's really not something he'd had much of prior to joining the Nein, and even then his experiences had been few and far between, and he'd decided at some point that it just wasn't for him. He doesn't realize that he's said a good part of that out loud.

"--and it was supposed to be tea."

He's most offended by the last part.

Mercy tries not to snicker at him, but he's cute when he's feeling huffy. "You never had a tea with a tipple? That was always Granny's favorite. Them that worked in a the cellar at the Abbey had some mighty fine brews to add to any drink you like.

"But maybe we should stick to water for you." She lifts her hand and pats him on the head with a grin. "You gonna be all right if I get you some water?"

Caduceus shakes his head and regrets that when he feels like his brain is expanding. Not in a good way. He leans into the bench and tips his head back to look at the sky.

"I know some people do. My mother did sometimes. The taste just never agreed with me."

Or maybe it was the effects? He can't really say that when he doesn't mind what certain mushrooms can do to him, but that still feels different. He lolls his head to look at Mercy and offers her a wan smile.

"Worst comes, I'll just be lower to the ground when you get back. I'll be fine, little sister."

"Agreed with you enough to suck down some at least." She sticks her tongue out at him before turning to head off. "I'll be back soon. Don't let no thieves come thieving on you."

It doesn't take her long to get the water, and she returns in short order with a pair of glasses, offering one to him before sitting down next to him. "So, what did you think about all this turkey testicle business afore you went down? Didn't think it'd be the sort of thing you'd be interested in."

Joke's on the thieves: Caduceus doesn't really have anything on him worth stealing. He stays put, though, eyes closed for a little while as he focuses on breathing deep and even and slow.

He peeks his eyes open again when he hears some familiar footfalls and his wan smile reappears when Mercy offers him a glass of water. He sits up more to accept it.

"Thank you." He takes a long drink from that, but keeps that slow, too. Last thing he needs is to shock his stomach into emptying itself. He relaxes again, both hands wrapped around the glass. The question makes him huff a laugh.

"Well, I didn't know turkeys had testicles. And I said I'd be here as moral support for anyone taking the challenge." He looks over at her. "And it's kind of nice to be around so many people having fun."

Without something terrible happening.

Mercy snickers. "'Course birds got them, too. How do you think you get a lot of chicks running around otherwise? Mama and Papa gotta get to work together to make little 'uns. I ain't never met a turkey, but if they're anything like ducks, that just makes sense, don't it?"

She sips her own water as she sits back, sprawling next to him on the bench in an unladylike fashion. "And it's been nice. They didn't taste too bad. Don't taste good enough to get their own thing, either, but folks got different tastes."

"I've never taken a turkey apart," he insists, as if that is plenty of reason not to know the inner workings of one. "Or a duck."

Caduceus smiles as Mercy flops next to him. He keeps his arm over the back of the bench, glad to offer some comfort and not at all concerned that this might be unladylike.

"It's an excuse for festivities, right? Even if it's kinda weird. And doesn't taste spectacular." That is one part of the evening that he certainly doesn't regret missing. It's been fun to watch other people trying to the turkey balls and the like, but Caduceus still isn't interested in trying any.

Now if he could just get past this nauseous, feeling, he'll be happy.

"I ain't never taken one of you apart, but that don't mean I don't got a sense for how you get more little Caduceuses," Mercy teases. "You got any of those back home? Or were you too busy fighting and rescuing folk to settle down?"

Because why wouldn't someone want to grow their family? It also occurs to her that she's not entirely sure how old Caduceus is.

That makes him snort a laugh. She's got a point there, he supposes. But far be it from him to presume how anything reproduces. His expression shifts - not sad, but maybe a little thoughtful - when Mercy asks about children.

"I don't," he answers. "And you know, I'm not sure I ever will."

Never say never and all of that, but at this age he's starting to think that's just how it's going to be. It's not something he's ever wanted. Not sex, and not romance.

"I was settled down for a long time before the Nein stumbled into my life. I don't think anything'll change when I go back. It's just not really my thing. It's great to watch other people forming those bonds but it's just not for me. I think I'd be a great uncle if any of my siblings have kids."

cw: ignorance-based dismissiveness of asexuality

graveyounglady - 2021-12-24 18:41 (UTC) - Expand

He's probably feeling a little too lonely and a little too despondent over the bleak family-less Thanksgiving so he might be enjoying himself a little too much at this weird festival.

He raises his glass when he sees Caduceus nearby at the bar, looking like he's had one too many himself, but it's fine.

It's all fine.

"Hey, you look a lot like that one guy from ADI," Eric points at him, his words crashing into each other a bit. "Totally dead ringer, man."

Edited 2021-12-01 03:55 (UTC)

"I am probably that one guy from ADI," Caduceus says cheerfully. "I look a little different off the property."

Since apparently having a tail and floppy ears is a big no-go around here. He's still getting used to having the disguise imposed on him rather than doing it himself - he wouldn't mind, really. It'd be easy and at least it'd be under his control.

"I'm Caduceus."

"Yeah! That's it!" Eric snaps his fingers, though he's far enough gone that he can't quite get the snap to work, and he just sort of waves his hand enthusiastically at him instead. "That's so cool how that disguise thing works."

He raises his glass to him.

"Eric Matthews. Hope you're having a great time here, Caduceus. I've never been to a turkeynut festival before, though...I didn't even know turkeys had nuts..."

"It's a little weird," he admits. "But I'm used to it now."

Sometimes he forgets that people aren't seeing him the way he expects to be seen, but for the most part he's adapted. He lifts his glass of cranberry juice in an answering gesture.

"I didn't know they had turkeynut festivals," he says as he glances over the crowd. "Or about the testicles in general. I guess I thought that was just a mammal thing."

"I bet it is. If I arrived in some weird world and had to be disguised everywhere, I'd be a little annoyed? When I have a face like this," he smushes one of his own cheeks. Yes, he is that vain sometimes but it's also to help with the crushing insecurity? "It'd be a shame to hide it away. But you look really cool either way!"

He takes a long swig of his drink happily.

"I know, right? First I ever heard of it! And for there to be a whole festival out of it?"

"Disguising myself isn't... unusual? It's something I could do before coming here, whenever I felt like I needed to. I just... didn't. Not often. And I could decide when it would happen and when it wound stop."

He huffs a laugh as Eric squishes his own face and a dry smile appears. He sips his juice.

"The big harvest gatherings and dinners makes sense to me," he says as he shifts to lean back against the bar while still sitting on his stool. "Though I never saw a turkey before. I think I'm more used to like... pheasants."

"You mean, like with magic? Because that would be totally awesome." But yeah, he figures it would be weird not to have any control over it.

There's a shrug as he grins, getting comfortable on his stool as well.

"I've seen fall festivals before, they're pretty common from back home. I've never had a pheasant, though." He's...not entirely sure what a pheasant is. "Does that taste anything like a turkey?"

"Yeah, with magic. It's one of those little things I think all of us - people like me - can do." He hasn't met a firbolg who couldn't, anyway.

"I wouldn't know," he admits regarding the taste of pheasants and turkeys. "I'm a vegetarian."

Which makes his presence here all the more weird, maybe.

"That's amazing! Can you just like, look like anyone you want? Or change your hair color? That would save a lot of time and money I think..." Eric sounds almost excited about it, like the sheer concept is beyond fun just to think about.

"Oh! Yeah, well, then I guess we'll never know if pheasants are like turkeys." It will be a mystery that evades him forever. "I hope you got something to eat around here though, maybe someone has a nice salad booth or something?"

"Oh yeah," he admits. "But I just kinda try to look the same most of the time."

So that if he has to appear more than once to people who have already met him, it doesn't get weird. But there have been plenty of occasions in which disguising himself has become a necessity.

"It wears off, too. I'd have to keep casting it."

He takes another drink, enjoying the kind of sharp taste.

"Yeah, I cooked at Bonnie's before coming here." He hasn't gotten brave enough to try the menu yet, though he's seen some tempting things passing by on the way to other tables.

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[OPEN LOG] Turkey Testicle Festival Open Mingle!

Welcome to the Annual Turkey Testicle Festival!

Caduceus Clay | Critical Role | OTA

Dining and Drinking - Later (cw: underage drinking)

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cw: ignorance-based dismissiveness of asexuality

Dining and Drinking

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