[Log] November Catch-all

[worthallthis]

Who: Bucky Barnes AKA Winter and OPEN
When: All of November
Where: Various, see prompts
Summary: Working, training, and having a breakdown in Dogtown
Warnings: Nothing so far, just the usual internalized depersonalization



I. Suspicion in Early Days - ADI Headquarters

After sleeping surprisingly well for most of a day on the first of the month, Winter spends the next several days of his patrols in the ADI buildings and apartments walking more carefully than usual, with his hand closer to his gun, half-expecting a new nightmare around the next corner. Did they really wake? How would he know?

Even afterwards, he ducks his head at the sight of many of the ADI employees-- more than usual, even. He shot some of them, in the dream. Without hesitation. Did they remember? Did they care? Did they fear him now? (They should. He is dangerous, clearly.)

Catch him sitting as far from everyone else as possible at lunch with his tray, or walking steadily through the halls looking for potential trouble, or having an extra cup of coffee after a bad night.


II. Teacher - ADI training room

Every day after his shift patrolling the ADI buildings or part of the city, Winter is in the training room in the basement levels of ADI, either working through a routine himself, or available to anyone who comes in and wants instruction. He has some regular students, at this point; he also has some people he's invited to come and learn. He hopes they come.

When they've finished a session and are just hitting the point of being too tired to continue without making more mistakes, Winter says, "Walk around the room. Cool off. Then I will walk you home."


III. Cloudy Day Blues - Dogtown

After the whole thing with the pigs, Winter has kept an eye on Dogtown. On days he isn't working, and sometimes in the mornings on days he does when he can't sleep and needs to walk, he circles the district. Dips into the streets to prowl and look for signs of trouble. When he's told of the monitoring at the park, he visits there, too.

Clouds don't make him run, though they do make him start to back away slowly. He feels the building pressure, the building dread, and remains steady. He lives with fear every day, he's learned how not to run away from it. It's when the certainty hits him that he's just going to kill everyone he ever cared about-- it only took the slightest provocation to make him shoot his fellow employees in that nightmare, didn't it? he shot Steve and punched him six times in the face, didn't he? he's killed more people than he will ever remember, hasn't he?-- that he finally buckles and bolts.

He ducks into an alleyway as soon as the oppressive sky lifts again, backs himself into the corner of the wall and a dumpster, and shudders, trying to catch his breath against the fear. The despair. Who's next? Who will he kill next time? Meredith? Strange? Yelena? He stays in that alleyway for a long time, crouched down, head in his hands, until the sun goes down or someone else finds him.


IV. Wildcard

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Comments

I

[henchgal]

When Meredith sees Winter isolating himself at lunch, she approaches and sits down across from him.

And she doesn't say anything right away, just opens her bottle of soda and starts eating, clearly deliberate in her choice of seat. But just as clearly not trying to get pushy about things until he's ready to talk.

[worthallthis]

He looks at her cautiously, from behind a fringe of hair.

She isn't someone he shot or wrestled or broke the neck of. She's someone who beat a transformed dream-employee to death with her cane.

He has a hard time, admittedly, picturing her afraid of him.

So he doesn't get up and move further away. He does, however, look away from her and around at the rest of the room. Will her choice of association with him hurt her, among her coworkers? He knows he shot someone who sits two desks down from her.

[henchgal]

She notices him looking around and shrugs one shoulder, not giving a flying fuck who sees her with Winter and judges her. They're the ones who were monsters, they ought to check themselves before getting weird about Winter.

"They've got brownies for dessert today. I even got an edge piece, if you want to split it with me."

[worthallthis]

He doesn't look back at her yet. But the offering is noted. Appreciated, even. "I will not say no to chocolate." It's not quite an admission of liking, but he is pretty fond of the stuff. It is objectively excellent food, even if not particularly nutritious. "Are edge pieces better?"

[henchgal]

"They tend to have a different texture, more chew." She cuts the brownie and passes him half. "Half the point of brownies is that they're not just fluffy and soft like chocolate cake, and the edge is the best example of it."

She's quietly making a note of him 'not saying no' to chocolate. That's actually the closest she's heard to him stating a preference, which is a pretty big step.

[worthallthis]

He sets aside the sandwich he'd been working on to try the brownie. After a thoughtful moment of chewing, he nods. "Different. Though not as. As." He struggles for a moment with a word. He doesn't have a lot of vocabulary to describe food, honestly. "Fudge? Like fudge?"

Winter maybe likes his brownies moist and thick, like fudge. More chocolate crammed in there.

[henchgal]

"Oooh, if you want a fudgy texture, then you might prefer the center pieces of a brownie. Which means if I bake a pan, I can have all the edges and save you the middle. Perfect."

See, everything works out neatly.

[worthallthis]

"Very convenient," Winter comments, voice so carefully bland that perhaps he's making a joke. His sense of humor is there it just expresses itself oddly, in a barely-there kind of way, just in case there's a chance he'll get punished for it.

He polishes off his half of the brownie neatly, either way, before going back to the sandwich. "Do you bake brownies?"

[henchgal]

"Sometimes. I'm the only person who cooks dinner in our apartment most of the time. Why, do you want to come over next time I make dessert as well?"

She wouldn't mind having him over for dinner as well, but she's not sure how the boys would react to that.

[worthallthis]

He considers this a moment, chewing and swallowing a big bite of ham and cheese before answering. He might be a murder machine, but he's a polite murder machine. "Kate usually makes dinner," he says, tentative. "Not sure if she would be upset if I eat somewhere else."

Which is to say, he's not necessarily averse, but he also has his daily routine and he doesn't know what the consequences would be to breaking it. Even if the routine is mostly imposed by himself, in the end.

[henchgal]

"Would you like me to ask her if I can borrow you for a meal?" Meredith doesn't quite understand his rules, but she understands that he has them. She's going to try to work with them, instead of barreling against them.

[worthallthis]

He hesitates, then nods. "That's acceptable." A pause, then a tentative suggestion. "Or I could just come over for the brownies. I help Kate with our dinners, sometimes." Not a lot, mostly chopping or stirring, but still. He can be helpful. Maybe he can be helpful with the brownies? Especially if she's giving half of them to him.

[henchgal]

"I'd be glad to have you come help." There's probably a joke she could make about him being a stand mixer, but that might be too soon. If he doesn't get it, it could come off as mean.

[worthallthis]

Winter nods. "Then. After dinner, maybe. Or some day we don't work." He can sacrifice a couple hours of patrol time, maybe. How long can brownies take to make, anyhow? Surely not that long.