apocalypsehowcomm | (open) Remember your virtue;

Entry tags:

(open) Remember your virtue;

Who: Kurapika & You
When: Through the month of November
Where: Most of the locations! ADI Housing & Headquarters, a thrift store, Hammond Castle;
Summary: Kurapika trying to get acquainted with the recent events as a new employee of ADI's Investigation department, as well as getting a little lost inside ADI's Housing. Soon, he decides he no longer can wear a suit and tie everywhere and attempts to get some clothes going (with difficulty) and investigate the Castle! Also, he might see a spider, which means he'll McLose it.
Warnings: Violence, trauma, spiders, mentions of dismemberment, genocide, human organ trafficking and sale, self-destructive tendencies and actions.

𝟏. 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭&𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞
cw traffic of human eyes, conflicting morals, genocide, dismemberment

(When he learned about the living options, this was without doubt not what he had envisioned. It’s pleasanter, much bigger than he had yearned for, and while he doesn’t intend to ever take advantage of the pool, it’s where he finds himself tonight. He, in all likelihood, catches the eye in his suit and tie, and it’s a shame he doesn’t have his traditional clothing at hand because that’s definitely what he would rather wear instead - or even pajamas at this point. He should get to it as soon as possible, but taking into account how he's been absorbed in learning everything he can, it's on the back of his mind while all his concerns bubble to the surface.

At least it’s quiet, and Kurapika’s ears are tuned to the water smoothly running along with the wind as he takes a seat at the edge, careful not to stain the only outfit he’s got. It’s a good, silent place to collect his thoughts.

Being dropped into a whole new world wouldn’t exactly be the end of the world, should Kurapika have finished what he set out to do. Yet, he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to return, and how things will be once he does. He was so, so close this time, all his brethren’s eyes nearly all collected to be returned, everything he’s worked so hard for, compromising his resolute morals to the point of extortion, bribery, threatening… And now? Now, he’s here.

It’s been dreadfully tempestuous here as well. Not even a week in, and he’s already sought to mutilate a priest and had a fit of terror while trying to inspect an episode. It shouldn’t matter. He’ll work on a way to get them home, no matter the cos—

Someone’s here. Kurapika can distinctly pick up the steps of an arrival, and without delay, he’ll get to his feet. Whoever it is, they’d probably like to be alone in a place like this, at a time like this.)

𝟐. 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞

(At least for ADI, he feels dressed appropriately. Right now, he sits in the library, files upon files upon files piled up in front of him, concealing the blonde’s thin build behind it. Before him, a notebook written in strange letters, where he’s been documenting his thoughts and experiences as the time goes by. If he’s going to figure out this place and find a way back to his mission, he’s going to need the entire picture.

One thing he realizes, however, is that there are things that won’t be in books and reports, lamentably so. As someone walks by, Kurapika peeks from the mountain he’s created and beckons them over. No smiles, however, the politeness never leaves his voice. All said in a quiet tone, this’s a library, after all!)

Excuse me. I’m new here and I’m reading up on what’s been happening as of late. I’d like to hear about your experience if it’s not a bother.

𝟑. 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬

(Enough is enough with the suit.

The only problem is -- what is "normal" in this place? Back home, Kurapika pridefully wore the patterns of his people, Hisoka wore his magician stance in his sleeve (literally), and let's not talk about the Zodiacs, each physically resembling the animals they symbolize without anyone batting an eye. Except... Kurapika would like nothing more than to blend in, evade the attention of non-ADI individuals and he can't do it without knowing what's too much and whose sense of fashion might be wacky.

So, here he is, diving into a pile of clothes at the first thrift shop (cheap!) he's found, each time the feeling around him being more and more of gloom and doom with each passing moment. He's absolutely lost. He hates it.)

𝟒. 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐝
cw spiders, trauma, violence depending on how it goes!

(Finally, in an oversized black hoodie, jeans, and boots, Kurapika leaves for a mission. He doesn’t know who came around with him this time around, but after the latest fiascos, Kurapika hopes they’re useful and able to handle their own. Kurapika himself has already had some poor experiences in this new reality, and he knows that certain skills are better than others. A cool head, check for him. Analytical skills, check. Above-average intelligence, check. Being completely out of his mind when the situation pulls his trauma or triggers to the surface? Unfortunately, check as well. Even so, Kurapika promises himself he’ll do his best to not do anything harsh, and simply do what he sets out to do: report back on ghost sightings at the Castle.

On the bus, Kurapika reads — fiction about monster hunters, and Kurapika even has a childish grin on the edges of his lips. What a sight for someone who’s been solely distant.)

𝟓. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝

(y'all know the drill! catch me at jade#2897 or newmeatjb if you'd like to discuss anything, otherwise, i'm just game!)

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Mm. [Neither agreeing nor disagreeing, she just hums in acknowledgement. That sure is a thing she could potentially do.

She looks briefly confused by the offer of his coat, before she understands] Ah...Sorry. I don't even really feel it. [less because she just couldn't feel temperatures or something--she could--but because she just wasn't acknowledging it.

Yuri takes the coat then hesitates, looking concerned] You're going to get cold.

Your body certainly does.

(And Kurapika does nothing other than shrug.)

I'll live.

(Awkwardly, perhaps a little stiff, Kurapika finds himself sitting next to her, a little further in distance. A moment of silence or two later, as he recalls the time they've spent previously, he speaks.)

You said I wasn't alone. Why?

(A little suspicious to say back something that had only existed in his mind.)

[She seems to accept that, pulling the jacket around her shoulders. Her sleeves were likely shorter anyhow so she could do with the extra layer of clothing.

His question made her pause and tilt her head, looking at him quietly. There are plenty of things she could say here. She could lie and probably come up with something reasonable, but instead she just asks:]

Was I wrong?

[Are you alone?]

That is besides the point, is it not? I suppose a more straightforward question would be - did you feed on me?

(However that would be. He's sure he's fed from Abel, swimming in the despair in his eyes that night at the graveyard. That's the only thing he can imagine... And besides, the moment she's touched him, it worsened tenfold.

In this place, he refuses to take anything as a coincidence.)

[She drops her gaze immediately and looks away, resting her hands in her lap]

I'm sorry. I don't have the best control of my abilities when someone becomes closer to death. You weren't actually dying, but you were in enough despair that it helped trigger it.

My ability revolves around 'sharing pain.' It was trying to help...I suppose. [She winces in dismay]

But they're not my secrets to share either, so I won't.

... So, you know.

(That's all he wants to hear. That his secret has been outed, and all the pain and sacrifice that came with it.)

[She nods mutely, staring down at the water and shifting to let her feet dip into the cold water. The coldness aches and makes her sigh softly before she continues]

I can share some of my own, if you'd like. [to make it a little even, if he wants. The sound of the water is soothing and part of her feels an almost instinctual pull to it, wanting to slip beneath the icy cold water just for a little bit. It wouldn't help or hurt her like the after on the mountain, but still...]

It wouldn't change anything.

(Kurapika sighs. Unfortunately, she's already seen it, although he doesn't know the extent. He's too tired to yell.)

What did you see?

[Yuri plays with the coat sleeves, twisting them around in her fingers. The feelings and the memories stick with her regardless of how she tries not to let them.]

I only got flashes of things. Anger, a feeling of emptiness, wanting revenge. You feel all alone.

[She's quiet for a moment.] I saw a wall full of eyes in jars.

(That Kurapika's heart plays a symphony of wrath and blind rage, he knew already. He feels it, and it has been pointed out to him before. He's thankful for it. It propels him forward, although it has led him to take actions he's not in the slightest proud of, or even complacent with today.)

Those eyes are my people's. In my world, the eyes of a Kurta are considered one of the most beautiful things that there is. They've all been massacred, I'm the sole one alive. I intend to collect all of them to return them, so my people can die with honor and in peace.

(His voice is nothing but firm, not at all masking the anger that the words bring.)

Edited 2021-11-24 20:30 (UTC)

[Yuri hadn't asked--it wouldn't have occurred to her to. She'd seen Ren's memories of potentially murdering a little girl and hadn't even thought to raise an alarm about it. It's--]

It's not my place...to judge the pain I see or receive. I just house it. [Although it is a bit of a relief to know he's not some crazy serial killer collecting eyes. He wouldn't know the value in her own eyes, but she figured even if it was collecting them because they were pretty, Yuri wouldn't have to worry. Her eyes weren't pretty enough on their own for that.]

...I'm sorry that happened. [Yuri sighs and her shoulders slump, feeling a familiar ache at her eyes. She reaches up a hand to rub over them]

The priestess sect on the mountain I lived on-- the ones with the abilities I have... They were all massacred too. Someone was afraid of their eyes and the power they--we--had. He didn't collect them, though. He destroyed them.

[A ragged, desperate, and angry curse, 'don't look at me...!' and the glint of a knife's edge. Yuri takes a breath and feels the phantom pain explode across her eyes, making her flinch as she lowers her hand to her lap again.]

I can understand, at least a little. I'm still trying to put them to rest too.

(For a second, it feels like the world is blank and only static hits his ears. He knew that he wasn't the only person to have experience such loss. History, even in here, tells tales of people being massacred purely for what they are. Who they are. But for eyes? This is news, and for a second, he feels a little less alone. He feels seen, like she could understand exactly what he went through. How difficult it is to make decisions for the dead. To be lonely in a way that only being the last can feel like.

It's unconscious. His eyes glow with anger not soon after that hopeful feeling dies, scarlet and a hue of tones dancing in his iris. He's rather angry that someone else has to go through the same pain, only because a bastard decides to.

It's hard to breathe, and he sucks in air.)

I'm sorry to hear that.

[Yuri turns, a rustle of clothing to look at him quietly.] ...I told you, didn't I? You're not alone. Not anymore, at least.

[but, well, that's for him to decide what to do with. She hesitates, half-reaching out for him before she second guesses herself and retreats, placing her hand back in her lap.

She looks back at the water, contemplating] ...Do you ever... Wish you'd died with them?

(The eyes don't turn back to black. Instead, they continuously burn until Kurapika has a few breaths inside of him. There's no one to lash out on - Yuri is definitely not on the table for that. Slowly, but surely, he stabilizes, it only serving as fuel for him to continue working on a way to go home so both of them can meet their endgoals.

He isn't sure about her, but his soul is tainted as it is. What is another threat he makes, one more bribe? Perhaps a death, as he hopes it doesn't come to it.

Her question though, makes him hum. Of course he does. What he does isn't living. He isn't even sure how to live when so many of his have fallen. Gently, thin fingers move to undo the laces of his shoes, removing them along with the socks. After he folds his trousers, his feet meet the cold water. It's certainly a good way to keep grounded on a conversation that can destabilize him at any second.)

All the time. I suppose it's something called 'survivor's guilt'. How did you make it out alive?

Edited 2021-11-24 21:37 (UTC)

[She tilts her head a little to observe him, dimly noting that her feet are a little numb. Odd her entire body feels a little numb and hollow, as it often did when she started talking about these things]

My situation is a little different. I wasn't there when it happened, it was...a very long time before I was even born. But the mountain used to be a revered place. Holy, almost. Now it's cursed and condemned, nothing can live or survive on it for very long. What was once a sanctuary became feared.

The ability all but died out because of it and all the practices of the area. But I... There was an accident. My entire family was killed. It was only me. Those of us that have this ability, either it shows itself in childhood or...when something traumatic happens.

I didn't have anyone to tell about my abilities though. I suddenly...started seeing and hearing all these things I never used to. Terrifying things. The doctors told me it was just stress from the accident. That I should just... be less crazy.

Before, I could've gone to this sect, but they were long dead. It's...what we could do--what I can do-- is incredibly rare now. So I just... realized I was all alone. I wanted to end it. But now... Now I'm just trying to save that place and the souls trapped there. They don't deserve to be forgotten about or be trapped there. I want them to be able to rest.

(It's different, but everything she says resonates with him. The Kurta had been hiding for several generations now. Hunted, feared because people could not understand it. The brightness and crimson color that take over his eyes give him none of the abilities she has. Instead, it increases his strength considerably -- as if he needed any help.

Nowadays, it works as fuel for Emperor Time. When activated, it eats away at his lifespan in exchange for power. Power used to stop the Phantom Troupe, the child of his hate. One second removes one hour. He's dying for it.)

You're not alone. Your journey is much nobler than mine, I can assure you that. I'm glad for you.

I don't know if I'll live to see it realized. [She admits softly, staring up at the sky. Even the night looks different here than back home]

But I promised someone to stay around for a little while longer, at least. [Not around here, as in this world and this city, but rather 'the world of the living' in general.] So here too, I'll keep the promise... Since I don't know what else to do.

[She kicks at the water a little again]

I know that feeling as well. It's maddening to know someone else has the same fate.

(He'll die. He knows that. Truthfully speaking, he doesn't even know what he should do if he lives. It's all just gloom.)

I'll work towards getting us home. We have business to see through.

[She nods, accepting that] Me too. I’ll do the best that I can. [She can’t fight and she’s pretty sure outside her abilities all she has is quick reflexes and report writing, but she won’t let herself be a burden.

She lapses into a companionable quiet for a little bit before she speaks up again.]

I’m sorry for the pain you’ve endured. But… I’m glad I found someone who understands, even a little. It makes the pain…a little less.

Kurapika-san… though it might only be for a short while, could we… Be friends? Or at least… I’d like to keep talking to you.

... I suppose, but I don't think that's wise. I'm not exactly...

(Stable. He's not exactly stable. With how easily triggered he is, and how much he can be blinded by emotions. He might hurt her, or even worse, he might become close to her. Let himself have a shred of happiness that could be distracting. He hasn't answered his friend's calls or texts for months. He can't afford it.)

I'm truly not a good friend.

I can endure it. [Maybe she’s selfish, or maybe she’s being crazy. She just doesn’t want to lose the thin threads of connection she so rarely has with others.

She thinks of Hisoka’s journal about the dream she had of people being swept away trying the crossing a river of Death. Maybe I'm drawn to Yuri, and she to me, because we are both fighting against the current.]

Like I said, it’s not like it will last long. We both know we’ll have to lose each other eventually anyway. Even if it’s temporary… it’s nice to enjoy it for a little while and enjoy these small things. “Sometimes life is merely a matter of coffee and whatever intimacy a cup of coffee affords.”

…That’s what my mentor used to say, anyhow.

... Alright. I do have conditions, however. If you see my eyes turn scarlet, I don't want you to come close. I--... I lose sight of what I have. I become primal. I don't want you there when it happens.

(Not only does he want Yuri to not be a target for his anger, like Abel has been, he doesn't want her to witness it. He knows what he's capable of. It's not pretty, nor is it pleasant to watch him lose himself to his anger, in full awareness that he is doing so.

She deserves better.)

Run if it happens.

[She’s not actually sure she can promise she wouldn’t hang around, but then she’s also sure there’s not much she could see that would shock her too much anymore.

Still-] I will. [There’s not really any warnings she can give in return, unless she wants to get into extremely Dark Humor territory and tell him to keep her away from any cliffs.

…She’s not going to make that joke. Instead she slips his jacket off and sets it aside, before staring into the water. She hasn’t been comfortable with water for a bit and the water is frigid, she knows that. But there’s something in that that compels her anyway, knowing it will bring a sense of clarity and cleansing. Renewal. All the good things water was supposed to do.] …I want to see… [She mutters to herself.

She then pushes herself up and plunges into the water.

In retrospect maybe she should’ve warned Kurapika about a lack of self-preservation instinct, but it doesn’t matter. The water is cold and comforting in spite of, or maybe because of, it. It muffles sound, suspends everything in a brief, timeless moment.

She could stay under here forever, but there was someone there. The knowledge of Kurapika’s presence soothes her and is what spurs her to surface again.]

(That's a relief, although he isn't sure how much he trusts it. His comrades back home certainly don't hold back from being around Kurapika when his mind goes blank. Much to the contrary, they attempt to have him see the bigger picture and not follow the melody that his heart pumps out, dark, sightless, and feral.

Good for him that he has astoundingly good reflexes, so he can see when she gives the intention of jumping. That's not wise, she doesn't have a towel, it's way too chilly, it's late, she'll catch a cold-- all arguments that he'd give if he had managed to grab her wrist before she plunged. Instead, he misses, and in his attempts to stop her, he too falls in the icy water of the pool, suit and all.

Blond hair sticks to his face once he reaches the surface, and he shakes his head in attempts to dry it a little. His heart races with the temperature drop, but he's laughing. What an idea.)

[She’s dimly aware that he must’ve fallen in too and looks around, baffled, and he surfaces too.

She doesn’t know what to say, eyes wide before a startled noise escapes her and, miraculously, she finds herself laughing. It’s not much— a chuckle maybe or a giggle and she covers her mouth with her hand as her shoulders Hawke with mirth.]

Sorry. [She’s not sure if he fell in because of her or if he just decided to join her, but she apologizes anyhow and there’s a hint of a smile around the corners of her mouth and the softening of her eyes.

She reaches out to move some hair from his eyes in apology]

Laughter suits you.

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STILL SCREAMING I MISSED THIS

IT'S OKAY /GRIPS HANDS

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cw genocide

cw: suicidal ideation

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Cw: suicidal ideation

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