[network]

[romelle]

Who: Romelle
Username: blomblossom
Warnings: Linked image is of a weird animal statue with a transparent womb, so... that's a thing. Otherwise none!

[ MotherAndChild.jpg is embedded here. ]

Do you have any idea how long I have to keep this on my desk for 'observation'? I know the child isn't moving (I checked the security cameras!) but it's making me imagine things when it's in the corner of my eye.

... does anybody who bought something cuter from Things of Beauty want to swap?

[ And then another new post after a few minutes, because Romelle has not yet gotten the hang of post editing: ]

Also can someone please explain what "pogge" (I think) means? I thought I had adjusted to Earth language well enough, but these videos might as well be speaking Snakurlan.

Comments

[text] un: cupkate

[bossyboiler]

Things of Beauty should change its name. There is nothing beautiful inside.

[text] un: Aberration

[aelwyn_aberration]

It's a really bizarre phenomena, isn't it? It's like they think it's hilarious to just make no sense at all. I can't say I understand it.

It seems to refer to video gaming?? Like, "Play of the Game." Whatever that is, I'm not sure on account of having a life.

[(Aelwyn voice) Gamers are the real evil of this world.]

[romelle]

If I wanted to be very generous, I could warm up to some of those plant-animal figurines. Maybe.

[bossyboiler]

I wouldn't waste your generosity. Did you see the human-tooth suit? [ Ick. ]

[romelle]

Well, that just does not make any sense. Supernatural phenomena are not to be trifled with - they are certainly not a game!

[ This is probably quoted, like, straight out of a training meeting. ]

It is as though people on that internet just delight in bursting my eardrums yelling incoherently when they point their cameras at evidently fake 'real magic'.

[romelle]

I tried my hardest not to.

[ In vain, unfortunately. ]

Someone actually seemed to consider buying it, too! More than keeping an eye on spreading curses, I feel like our taking names is just compiling a list of people with atrocious aesthetic sense.

[aelwyn_aberration]

Indeed. [She thinks this girl is a bit adorable, actually.]

I think they all just say stuff to one another repeatedly until it takes on a meaning. Memes, I think they're called.

[Biz tried to show her memes once.

Aelwyn wishes she could brutally murder him for it. (And also all the other stuff.)]

@ jelica

[musicdied]

There are a lot of Earth languages. I don't think that's any of them.

un: freakscene

[cacophonish]

aw i think that things kinda cute...

and everything on the net is so fucking confusing. its like their all speaking another language

[ It's all so frustrating and confusing, going from being cool and in the know by 1995 standards, to being utterly lost and confused among his peers. The living embodiment of how do you do, fellow kids?

(Another reference he doesn't get.) ]

i still cant figure out what "chuggy" means

[bossyboiler]

I think maybe they want to find out if one of the names we discover might be a supplier. I too wonder where they got all of that junk.

[un: nightroad]

[inutilis]

What in the name of the Good Lord is that abomination?? I'm going to have nightmares 😲😱💀
Would you like my rubber ducky?
He's cute if you don't turn him over to see his nauseatingly disturbing insides but at least he probably isn't watching you in your sleep



What if he's been watching me in my sleep

[romelle]

I wish humans would stop shouting it in their videos then. It is disorienting every time!

[romelle]

Maybe a beverage that is so tasty you could just 'chug' it? Is that chuggy? Knowing how... whimsical people "online" are, I am likely mistaken...

But really? Cute? You should elaborate on that, maybe I can change my perspective!

[romelle]

Better in your sleep than... in the bathroom?

[ There's a bright side to everything, but this is probably not it. ]

This truly is one of those missions where I am hoping fervently for a false alarm.

... though then that would mean people just like and purchase these objects for no reason.

[romelle]

It is really strange. If I was going to make a cursed(?) item to hide in people's homes, I would not make it look so obviously disturbing.

[romelle]

These videos are so showy that I can certainly imagine them all shouting "me! me!" as they go.

These clips could be such an interesting window into the world of Earth, but instead they are just repetitive. It seems wasteful to me.

[ Once she discovers travel vlogs, she'll be hooked for a few weeks... ]

[inutilis]

You know what? You may have quite the point, there!! I hadn't thought about that, and you might just be on to something!!! I never thought I'd see the day I say I'd prefer someone watch me while I'm sleeping, but Gloucester truly is a place of firsts, isn't it?

Oh
...Right again,
I can't tell what's creepier, haunted objects that definitely look like they're supposed to be haunted
Or people buying them just for their curb appeal so to speak
I think I need a hug and to pray for my eternal soul 😱😭

[aelwyn_aberration]

Haha. Well, I do think they somewhat reflect the society itself in a lot of ways. They have a few websites similar to TikTok or Instagram back home and it's about the same level of performative narcissism.

But you should be able to find something to your fancy. There's a lot of more educational or intelligent content on YouTube (I believe that's the name, back home it was SpellTube) and such. But I think you'll struggle with finding anything remotely worthwhile with such short videos. Most of this TikTok site seems to be reserved for people mouthing words at the camera as if they're saying them, but it's just the audio playing over the video. It's a bit hilarious in a deeply sad way.

[bossyboiler]

If I were to curse an item, it would be something mundane enough as to not cause suspicion. Maybe the items are just cursed in appearance?

[ In other words, the things are ugly. U-G-L-Y. And they ain't got no alibi. They ugly. ]

[cacophonish]

i dont know it seemed like it wasnt a good thing

[ ...LIGHTBULB MOMENT. ]

wait hey maybe your onto something! maybe its like a drink thats SO BAD that you have to chug it just to get it over with!

[ BINGO. They're totally decoding netspeak now. (Is it even called netspeak anymore?) ]

and yeah cuz its like a mom and her baby. i mean yeah ok its a weird alien rat mom and her weird alien rat baby but
i dont know
its peaceful

maybe i just miss my mom

[ And so he's projecting on a creepy figurine. As one does. ]

[musicdied]

American teenagers are very strange. I think it's a point of pride with them.

[romelle]

People from Earth think of themselves in terms of their regions on the planet and America is this mass of land, right?

Where I am from, space travel is commonplace, so the scales here are still a little confusing to me.

[romelle]

That would certainly be for the best.

Better we waste our time observing these objects that are ordinary than we fail to detect something that might actually be dangerous to others, at least.

[bossyboiler]

Did you see anything ordinary looking in that shop?

[romelle]

[ This sounds logical to Romelle - she's just nodding at her screen vigorously, as if her conversation partner could actually see it.

.... aaaaand then it takes a turn for the sad. Romelle glances back at the figurine and wonders if... mole rats (??) feel maternal emotions.]

I miss my mother as well.

This mother is extremely creepy and the transparancy is worrisome, but at least nobody will take her child away from her.

Has your mother passed away?