A mathematician walks into a church to confess.

[bossyboiler]

When: Nov 2nd, evening.
Where: Apartment #C2, ADI Housing.
Summary: Kate has some confessing to do. Will it really be good for her soul or will she have even more problems to deal with? Let's find out!
Warnings: N/A (Will update if necessary.)



Kate normally makes dinner for the three of them. Winter and Yelena both come and go with regularity that Kate can plan dinner and have it warm for everyone to enjoy. If not, that is what leftovers are for. Given that she normally makes a pasta dish, the leftovers usually taste better the next morning. It's not a big deal if they have to reheat it.

Tonight, however, is different.

She had not prepared dinner last night. Kate had simply been too tired to eat and too tired to venture out of her room once she had gotten back to it. She had slept most of that day except for a few brief waking periods where she showered or had been interrupted with a threatening series of text messages. After that, she had discovered the rumors of real magic being posted to the internet. The first of November had been another bad day in a series of bad days.

Kate knows that she has to make it better somehow and the first step to that is telling the two people that are closest to her what she had done. She doesn't feel brave in doing so. IT's a matter of necessity that compels her decision to.

And so she makes dinner. Kate sets the dinner table herself even. She makes her favorite dish and serves it along with bread and wine before calling them both to the table. She feels like she is going before a firing squad. Once they both sit down, Kate places her phone on the table. If both look, they will see the text that she received yesterday.

"I need to tell you two something. I know that you're going to have questions but please don't interrupt me." If she doesn't get this out in one go, she could very well chicken out. She could try to bury it. She could do so many things. Maybe it's fortunate that she had been sent that text yesterday and she has to act. Maybe not. She doesn't know but here goes nothing.

"I was... I have the ability to create forcefields and manipulate them. Back on my world, anyway. I can't use them here because of the danger. I don't know if you two feel it but for me, I feel the desire to inflict fear. I've been able to ignore it, most of the time. " She is going to attempt to stick to the facts. Kate knows that they will have questions. "When the carnival was in town, I used my powers." She swallows and wishes that she had some of the wine that is sitting on the table. "I couldn't take it anymore. I thought if I fed it a little, the feeling would go away. I thought I was being careful but I was caught and now it's coming back to bite me."

Kate reaches down to her phone, turns it around so that they both can reach it before pushing it forward. She doesn't care if they pick up her phone and go through it. There is nothing more damning to reveal.

Comments

[musicdied]

Yelena does pick up the phone, eyes narrowing as she reads through the message chain, then reads it through a second time. She notes the name mentioned, files it away as someone to have a little chat with later, and commits the number to memory before handing the phone off to Winter.

She studies Kate in silence for a long moment, then finally says, "You shouldn't have done this in public, Kate. What were you thinking?"

[worthallthis]

Winter frowns when Yelena hands the phone over, skimming over the texts as well. He doesn't immediately have anything to say, turning the situation over in his mind, letting Kate respond to Yelena first.

He doesn't necessarily like that Kate is frightening people, some because it could get her in trouble, like the text string suggests, even if it isn't overtly threatening itself. But some because... it could get her hurt by things he can't just shoot. He could track down and take out a mortal stalker. He can't track down and take out a fear entity thing if it hurts his team.

And he also hasn't heard the urge to give in to a fear entity thing described in that particular fashion, so... he's chewing on that, too.

[bossyboiler]

What had she been thinking?

"I was thinking that it was better someone else than me. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to create fear or I would be the victim instead. I've had nightmares about it." Kate lets out a breath. She reaches up and touches the base of her throat with her hand. "So I picked someone. It was a Mime."

She addresses Yelena because that is who had spoken first. "When the Mime did his 'trapped in a box' routine, I created a box around him. The lights from the carnival masked the light from my forcefield. I made the box smaller and smaller and the Mime was so cared." Kate hates this. It doesn't feel as though this is good for her soul at all but it must be done.

"Everyone who watched him thought it was part of the show but it was me, using him, like a monster." Kate lets out another sigh. Maybe she'll feel better later but right now, she doesn't feel good at all. "I let him go when I realized that I could have killed him. I could have made the box smaller and smaller until..." Does she need to finish that sentence? No. They should be know by now what she could have done. "When I released the forcefield, he collapsed. The crowd still loved it. They still thought it part of the show. Why wouldn't they after seeing the other carnival performers?"

Kate wants to reach for the wine to numb it but she refrains. She lowers her head because she can't bear to look at either one of them. She feels deeply ashamed with herself, not to mention all the guilt that she feels. There are other feelings mixed up in those. Is she really a terrible person? The signs are pointing towards maybe.

"When the Mime ran off, that's when I saw Malcolm Bright. He had seen the entire thing."

[musicdied]

Yelena leans back in her chair as she listens to Kate's explanation, her expression thoughtful. If she's considering the possible applications of her roommate's powers as well as the description of the events and her reasoning, well.

None of them can be other than what they are.

"And that's why you should have done this somewhere private, if you had to do it," she says once Kate's finished. "ADI is full of people who hunt the supernatural - you can't rely on the assumption that they will not realize that something strange is happening, or that they won't notice the woman nearby who is not quite acting like the rest of the crowd."

[worthallthis]

Winter is still silent for a moment longer. Yelena has a point, of course. Being careful not to be seen. Letting one of his team get locked away by ADI is unacceptable.

But ADI, he can do something about, probably. Put on his mask and goggles and load up with ADI's own guns and mow them down like the highly trained, intensively programmed, perfect killer of an Asset he is. Even without his usual strength-- but he thinks for this, his strength might just come back to him.

There's other things he can't mow down, though, and after the nightmares, he knows it more clearly than ever. So he says, "We can maybe protect you from ADI or people like these." He taps the phone once. "If we really have to. But if the fear-entities hurt you. I can't hurt them, back. I don't think a bullet or a metal arm will do much to them."

[bossyboiler]

Kate looks at Yelena not knowing what to say. She had been expecting more admonishment than this. She had expected them to be severely disappointed in her for terrorizing an innocent person. Instead, Yelena sounded as though she were more upset that Kate had not been private enough.

"I know. I know. I'm not going to do it again." She honestly believes that she won't. Still, the desire is ever present. Feed or be feast upon a voice in the back of her mind says. You could do it now. Show them. Make them scared. Trap them then squeeze them. Kate shakes her head.

"I know ADI is dangerous but they aren't exactly helpful. They tell us not to use our powers but they don't tell us how best to avoid feeling as though you're being torn up inside." Kate lets out a breath. "I don't think I deserve protection."

With her last comment, Kate hangs her head. "I don't know what to do, guys. I need help."

[musicdied]

Let she who isn't a cold-blooded killer cast the first stone. Yelena has room to criticize strategy and subtlety. Morality, though? That's far stickier.

"What you don't deserve is to be executed by ADI because their idea of integrating people into a new world is to say 'no, bad alien, don't do the things that are as natural to you as breathing'," Yelena says tartly. "Or to be a slave to a nightmare monster, but Winter is right, that isn't something we know how to fight."

She glances from Kate to Winter and back again, and something hardens in her expression, an unspoken 'yet'.

"If you feel like you need your powers to keep yourself from being a victim, we can help you with finding other ways to keep yourself safe. And not just learning how to fight back. Situational awareness, threat assessment - there are ways you can protect yourself without needing magic or violence."

[worthallthis]

Winter nods once, firmly, in agreement with Yelena. "You are my team. You deserve protection. And to feel safe." A sidelong glance to Yelena. "Both of you are my team."

Then, back to Kate, he adds, "I can expand our lessons. Not just fighting. Also climbing, hiding, reacting to surprises. Belova would be better to teach you general observation skills." He's not sure he has the words to explain what he knows by instinct, let alone the tools to show her.

That's the most words he's said at once in a long time, and he feels wrung out already, ugh. Why is talking so hard.