apocalypsehowcomm | [LOG] - Open September Catch-all!

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[LOG] - Open September Catch-all!

Who: Keith and YOU
When:September Catch-all
Where: Around Gloucester + Network Post
Summary: Network post inquiring and recruiting for cryptid enthusiasts, graveyard exploration, getting a one day gig as a sandwich
Warnings:cryptids, graveyard exploration, possible grave robbing?

I. Network (UN: NO)
[ after having read the papers about this mysterious sea creature, keith is actually curious enough to post on the network. the things you do when you have a fondness for cryptids?? ]

hey. i don't know if any of you saw the headline about that mysterious sea serpent, but i want to find it. i've never heard of anything called the "snakeship" before, but it kind of reminds me of of the loch ness monster.

back home i would wager some of the cryptids were aliens visiting earth or something. here, i'm guessing if they exist they're tied to some entity. if anyone's got ideas or wants to help track it down, let me know.

II. Following the music
[ finally fed up with the goddamn tune playing in his head, keith follows the sound all the way down to the local graveyard.... where he's apparently just fallen asleep by one of the headstones. wake him? steal his money? spook him? the choice is yours. just be careful, he's a light sleeper. ]

III. Odd jobs
[ listen. there is a perfectly valid explanation for why keith is dressed as a sandwich and handing out fliers with a dead eyed expression to anyone walking past the locally owned "Bob's Subs." looks like the new buzz in town over pecker's has left other businesses trying some uh... fresh ideas for advertising. ]

Hi. [ if he sounds and looks like he's dying inside, that's because he is. ] Lettuce brighten your day with a fresh ham sandwich.

[ art source!]

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YES.
I AM AN EXPERT CRYPTID HUNTER.
I WILL ASSIST.

... [That's. That is in fact Keith. She's surprised he actually addressed her and didn't run for the hills. If she were particularly interested in bullying Keith he just handed her an automatic weapon and expected her not to shoot.

She just stares at him, mouth agape.] Keith... who did this to you?

[Her tone is filled with so much horror...]

I'm also willing to come help.

[ look. keith is patently aware of what this looks like, and is choosing to deal with it by acting like nothing is wrong. ]

Nobody did anything to me.

[ his tone there is drier than the sahara. he shoves a flyer in her hand advertising some of the sub options including one that reads: "surf and turf sub" which may or may not explain why business is going sideways. ]

Are you getting a sandwich or not?

so you've met cryptids before? great. which ones?
and why are you shouting?

i didn't realize you were interested in cryptids

oh sorry i forgot typing in caps is yelling over text.
before i came here i met two professional cryptozoologists and they taught me how to hunt for them.

[ Romelle has never seen a human graveyard before coming here, and she has to admit she is fascinated. On the colony, there is very little visible death. Altean lifespans are long and more often than not somebody is picked to go to the 'other colony' before they would naturally breathe their last. But when somebody does die, their body is given a space burial. It's a fairly big event and they have to contact their keepers in order to access the necessary facilities.

The gravestones here remind her of the list of pioneers that is engraved at the bottom of Lotor's statue - to human eyes, it must look like a mass grave. Compared to that, these small headstones are so much more private and dignified.

She thinks she likes it. But also, what is Keith doing here???

Have a light nudge to the shoulder... ]

Is resting here custom...? Or is it that quizaking tune again?

The concept is interesting to me! It's fascinating that you have monsters you can't identify and that so much of the population of this world just straight up doesn't understand that monsters are real. [Which, like, rip to you but she's different]

Also in fairness it's not like you've ever asked.

Selling your own kind? How low you've sunk, dear. [She gives him a grin. Then looks at the sandwich place inside.]

Just between you and me, how are the sandwiches?

Usually if a monster has a name it's because its something that's super dangerous and has killed a bunch of people. Not discouraging you from going after it. Just something that should be accounted for.

[yes she'd like to pit wrestle a sea serpent why do you ask]

[ ah. so valid explanations for current attire are required today? here's shiro’s: he took a two-hour gig as a model for a men’s fashion account on instagram…? yeah, instagram, that’s it. shiro doesn’t have his own but he saw the pic before it went up. strange artistic take if you ask him.

but ah well, he has $150 in his pocket. the suit is his by the way -- sears and its flash sale of $49.99, basically a steal! he would have been stupid not to buy it. and now, he’s walking toward adi headquarters, suit still a little damp and still a little bubbled an’ sudsy, because he didn’t have the foresight to bring a change of clothes. he just so happens to be on the same street of bob’s subs. and well, a human-sized sandwich.

wait.

wait. he knows that sandwich.

amusement building, shiro has a wide, shit-eating, this is the greatest thing ever grin by the time he’s standing a few paces from keith. he crosses his arms loosely and does a piss poor job of keeping the laughter out of his voice. ]

You’re a sandwich.

( ooc; i'm a horrible person & can't remember the artistic credit for the pic ;; )

[ keith is making every effort not to make eye contact with anyone passing by on the streets as he holds out fliers. in other words, he is quite possibly the shyest sandwich in all of gloucester. now this, of course, doesn't stop him from spotting the guy in the suit rapidly making his way over, but it's an extra beat before he registers who said guy in the suit is.

it's weird for all of two seconds. keith doesn't see shiro dressed all dapper much. but weird hits very differently when a light breeze blows green lettuce frill in his face and keith remembers all ocer again what he himself is wearing right this second.

he jerks back, crouching as much as the costume will let him (not much at all) behind a placard advertising fresh cold cut sandwiches, holding the paper fliers over his face. he's not here, do not perceive this humble sandwich. ]

if i had my lion here, a monster like that wouldn't be a problem -- name or no name.
but listen, i want to see this big guy. don't you?

[ falling asleep here would be morbid beyond all reason -- which is to say, it is most definitely the effect of the strange music. even stranger? keith typically tends to be a fairly light sleeper, but the music's lulled him in pretty deep. a light nudge gets keith to wrinkle his nose is distaste as he rolls away from the offending prod, mumbling sleepily all the while: ]

Five more minutes, dad...

; he jerks onto this side then, rolling more towards a headstone that reads: Memento Mori in cloister black. curiously, the name appears to be missing. ]

[ this is the red paladin. this is the man who has been part of recon, as well as sabotage missions of sneaking around battle cruisers and through galra outposts. which makes him ducking behind a placard all the more hilarious. preventing a laugh out of sheer will, shiro meanders closer to the placard, each step slowed down to prolong his amusement.

inevitably though: ]

Keith. [ standing in front of the placard, shiro leans just so to get a look at keith behind. ] Keith I know it’s you. Stop hiding.

[ or better said, trying to hide. it's implied though, when shiro pinches the top of the sandwich costume -- the part that is too tall to fit behind the sign -- and gives it a shake. ]

[ as long as keith keeps his mouth shut and face hidden, plausible deniability is very much on his side, okay? let him have his copium.

but then there's a grab and yank maneuver at bread bun and keith groans, trying to crouch down even lower. how sad then, that the back of the sandwich costume refuses to compress between his ass and thighs... ]

I'm not hiding... [ muttered, still very much keeping the flyers over his face. ] I'm having a moment, okay?

[ a moment of what? don't ask keith, please and thanks. ]

[ well, it’s a good thing keith doesn’t consider this hiding because it’s certainly not effective. mercifully, shiro plays his part as the good best friend and doesn’t ask, which he really deserves some credit for. the explanation would surely be hilarious. alas, shiro only smiles and lets go of the costume, pressing both palms over the top of the placard. he leans, but barely, not trusting the placard to support his weight. ]

Uh huh, alright. [ with keith still covering his face, shiro takes advantage of the following beat to look him up and down, chewing at his lip to control the urge to laugh. ]

Can I at least have one of those flyers while you -- have your moment? [ he isn’t made of stone, forgive him; the last couple of words slow, each one punctuated with glee. he reaches over then, left fingers wriggling. ]

I’m pretty hungry all of a sudden.

[ that mirth registers crystal clear if the visibly reddening tips of keith's ears are any indication. but maybe not, maybe his ears will now be perfectly camouflaged by the bits of felt tomato. either way, ]

No! [ more reflexive than anything, keith gives those wriggly fingers a light swat with the he fliers. face now visible from behind the placard, keith shoots shiro the most dignified expression he can manage, then straightens up while haughtily clearing his throat. ]

I mean fine, here! [ have a crummy flier -- grumble grumble, enjoy the odd advertisings for surf and turf subs btw, and another slightly dismayed: ] Why are you a suit?

Edited 2021-11-28 23:17 (UTC)

[ Romelle giggles a little at being called 'dad' by a boy her apparent age, but it really is a testament to how deeply and soundly asleep Keith had been in such an utterly uncomfortable position. That is a point in favor of unnatural sleep for sure.

And as much as Romelle is lacking the human tendency to find graveyards naturally eerie places, she doesn't think the cold ground makes for a particularly good resting place, so she doubles down on shaking Keith - this time by both shoulders. ]

Your bed is much better suited for sleeping those five more... minutes. That was like a dobash, I think?

[ wow, attacking potential customers, what would your employer say, keith?? as opposed to keith’s haughty display, shiro is still banking hard on amusement, mouth seemingly stuck on a smile. gee thanks, he will, in fact, enjoy looking over this… concoction. in theory, steak and shrimp go well together; surf n’ turfs are usually the priciest things on the menu at high end restaurants.

but… a philly cheesesteak with a layer of slathered shrimp? why is there so much cheese? and why does it bother shiro so much?

guess the smile isn’t stuck; he’s well on his way to a perplexed frown. there’s a question, however, and shiro tears his gaze from the printed sub, taking in his friend sub instead. ]

Oh.

[ that’s right. he practically forgot that keith isn’t the only one dressed out of the norm. ]

I was making some extra cash. [ and there’s nothing particularly weird about how he went about making said cash, but here, shiro directs his gaze back to the flyer, forcing nonchalance -- ] By, uh, modeling? [ -- which he completely butchers. why is that inflecting high as a question? ]

[ sucess! the two shouldered shaking does get keith to groggily crack open one eye, clearly disoriented and still half asleep. ]

Huh....?

[ even the syllable is draw out and slow, mind not completely registering how he went from cozy bedtime stories to doubashes. or romelle for that matter. still lying on the ground, he reaches behind his back to feel for his knife handle, then furrows his brow. ]

Wait. Why are you ... [ rubbing at his eyes with his other hand, keith looks around. ] When did I -- [ pausing, he gives himself a pinch. ] Ow.

[ aaaaand there's the cue for keith's eyebrow to rocket up into his hairline. ]

You're modelling?

[ it's said with the kind of incredulity that plainly says keith has momentarily forgotten that he is, in fact, a sandwich in his quest for extra conspiracy board supplies. he really has no right to be judging or questioning anything and yet-- ]

I didn't know you liked modeling? Since when do you have a modeling career?

[ he squints, straightening up and placing one hand on his hip, like he's not peddling unfortunate philly cheese steaks to an unsuspecting populace. ]

[ once upon a time, it wouldn’t have been so unheard of. being the garrison’s poster boy had him dabbling close; never anything that can be dubbed modeling, of course, but he was a marketing tool at one point. it’s how he wound up smiling for a camera and having his face printed on a pamphlet to later be passed out to kids barely into their teens. now though, he can understand the heavy-handed shock. it goes without saying that shiro holds no favor for showing off much of himself these days.

self-consciously, he tugs at the left cuff of his suit jacket, gaze fluttering to the side. ]

I don’t.

[ to both questions, really. the only reason he took this gig is because the ad said suit required, meaning he’d be fully dressed. dming the photographer had shiro sending a headshot, half expecting the scar and confusing hair to earn him a swift no thanks, but to his surprise, it got him a time, a place and an eventual wad of cash.

would he do it again? maybe. seems better than dressing up as a sandwich, at least. ]

There was a casting call for a shoot and it looked like a quick and easy way to make money. [ in the following pause, he looks to keith and then offers a one-shoulder shrug. ]

The photographer liked me, so.

[ Romelle watches Keith get his bearings with a doubtful expression. It's a little reminiscent of their first meeting, this lead-like tiredness that is affecting him, but...

Ah, she should probably give him a hand to help him up. ]

Why are you? This does not seem like an apt location for a nap. Was it the music again?

I didn't mean to fall asleep here.

[ for his part, keith seems genuinely chagrined by that line of questioning. he takes romelle's hand, pulling himself up to his feet and then quickly steps away from the grave he'd been sleeping on, looking uneasy. ]

I was following the music out to where I thought I could hear it the loudest and happened to end at the cemetery. [ frowning: ] Don't plan on resting in a cemetery for a good while yet.

[ a beat. ]

This place better not be cursed or somethinng.

[ would be just his luck, honestly. ]

[ keith squints even further hearing that, completely oblivious to shiro's self consciousness. ]

The photographer liked you.

[ hands still on his hip, he steps away from the placard to come stand in front of his best friend. ]

This wasn't some skeevy photoshoot, was it?

[ assumedly not if suits were involved, but suspicious sandwich is suspicious. ]

[ liked him, yeah, is that so hard to believe? on second thought — yeah, maybe. shiro doesn’t really fit the mold of the typical model. shiro’d just been thinking this himself but to have it echoed by keith… that stings a bit. so does keith immediately thinking it’s that kind of photoshoot.

shiro sputters, spine straightening and shoulders going rigid. ]

No! [ of course not! why — why? ]

I’m not that hard up for cash.

Do cemeteries tend to be?

[ The very concept of curses is a bit novel to Romelle though she's certainly familiarized herself with it quickly - it's not as though there aren't comparable idea in Altean culture. ]

I would think the spirits of the ancestors might protect a place such as this.

[ that earns a slightly derisive snort. ]

They're doing a great job of that if some entity thing is luring people out here.

[ though on second thought, maybe that's some kind of altean cultural belief? time to dial back on some insensitivity. ]

Guessing Alteans have some pretty different takes on death and dying though.

[ Romelle for her part doesn't seem at all offended. Instead she is weighing it as a serious argument and... yeah, okay, this does not feel particularly sacred. If the cemetery is the source of the awful sleep music, she has a bone to pick with it as well. ]

I'm not certain how it was on the homeland, but back home in the colony we don't keep the bodies of our deceased. They are put to rest in space, returning to the outside world that we living cannot see right now.

So... what is the issue with cemeteries, exactly? I would not know.

[ .... that shouldn't instantly remind keith of those robeast coffins, but that's where his head ends up first. frowning slightly, he takes another couple of steps away from the headstone. ]

So they become... satellites that orbit your planet?

[ it's aske a little tentatively, not especially uncertain of his conclusion there. ]

I wouldn't say there's a specific issue with cemeteries. They're just... lonely places with bad memories attached, I guess. [ briefly,he looks away. ] Lots of ghost and zombie stories too.

do not think the wrong thing of me here i am absolutely saying you should do it. im just also saying you should get a team and know what youre going against.

if i did not make this previously clear, i would like to fistfight that thing in the pit

[ the hand comes off the sandwich's hip, but the scrutiny is still present and definitely not being apologized for. ]

Ok. Just making sure.

[ it seems like a normal thing to inquire after, right? gotta make sure your best friend was comfortable and not getting hit on while being photographed and all that. ]

So what kind of shoot was it? Can I see?

] will shiro be making an appearance in a jc penney catalogue at some point... ]

[ Satellites...? It takes a moment for this to fully register with Romelle and you can basically see the loading bar in her eyes as she processes. Satellites... ]

... oh, no. No, it's-- They are cremated first, of course. Do humans bury whole bodies?

[ Suddenly these graves appear in a new light to her and she feels like she understands why mankind finds cemeteries unsettling. Whole bodies... brrrrr. ]

[ the real question here is: what would keith do if shiro had answered yes? before, shiro was banking on keith judging him but now, shiro wonders if he’d have to send the photographer a dm, warning him to be on the lookout for a mullet on legs. ]

Oh, you know… the regular kind? [ … what does that even mean? listen, shiro isn’t well-versed in modeling. there were lights and a fancy camera and props – all the standard aspects of a shoot. truthfully though, shiro still has no idea what the point of it was. what were they selling? what were they promoting?

rubber duckies??

he pulls out his phone and opens up his instagram app. fashionboys is punched in and – there, the most recent post is him. he pulls it up and turns the phone to show keith. ]

Don’t ask me to explain it. I don’t think I can.

Uh...

[ oh great, how did he end up the ambassador for human burial rites? ]

Sometimes? Depends a lot on where you live? Some traditions involve things like embalming the body and putting it in a casket to be preserved forever. Sometimes people want to be buried and ... decompose and return to nature, I guess. Others want to be cremated. But there are a lot of other traditions besides those.

[ keith goes a little quiet for a moment, brow furrowing as he gets a little lost in thought. ]

My dad would've probably liked a space burial. Guy was always fond of looking at the stars at night.

[ That is a lot more variety than she was expecting. But then, Earth just has a whole lot more people than her colony. Even Gloucester taken on its own contains more different people than Romelle has ever seen in her entire life - it's staggering, really. She's always known there were these masses of others out in the universe, but actually witnessing it for herself is still a different matter.

And she wants to ask about it, how one decides what should happen with their body, but Keith's next comment makes her train of thought come to a halt. ]

... he's passed on, then? I'm sorry... I know how it feels.

[ Though she didn't get to bury any of her own family, at all. ]

[ keith looks away for another moment. passed on sounds so peaceful... like his dad just fell asleep one day and never woke up again. the inappropriateness almost makes him laugh, but he swallows it back down with some effort. ]

It was a long time ago already.

[ which is true enough, but there's a hollow note in the way he says it. ]

You've lost family, too, then?

... my whole family. It's been many years since I lost my parents, but my little brother... It was recent.

[ Mourning her parents is strange in comparison to Bandor, who died in her arms. For so long she'd had questions about their whereabouts, but questions are very different from the crushing certainty of death. Her parents had been gone, unreachable, out of her life and yet... they could have been thriving, elsewhere. Or even suffering, but still alive.

Only with mourning Bandor came the realization that she should have been mourning those gentle people who raised her years ago. It still doesn't feel entirely real. They still feel out there even as she knows they're not. ]

[ for a long moment, all keith can think is ah, fuck. he knows better than anyone else that family is a touchy subject, and now he feels a little cornered into playing a game of platitude roulette. not because he can't sympathize with a fellow orphan who's lost their entire family, but because he's just... never been good at knowing what to say. ]

Oh.... [ case in point right there. immediately wanting to facepalm, keith fights back the urge by balling his hands into his jacket pockets. ] ...Jeez, that's awful.

[ fucking hell, is that really the best he can manage? ]

I'm sorry. That must be rough.

Mhm.

[ It is. And she's never even told a living soul about it before coming her. There is more to say, really, a fountain of words and frustrations and anger and fear that will eventually break out of her but... Romelle's good at keeping it in. What else was she going to do but that?

And it's not as though Keith can bring any of her loved ones back to life. As a Paladin of Voltron, he might be able to help the living once they get back (if they get back)... but the dead are dead. Nothing will save Bandor now. ]

I think the cemetery is pretty, really. Despite whatever creepy tales humans tell. I like that everyone gets a private stone of remembrance. It feels like the individual life was truly valued.

[ keith's gaze stays averted despite the shift in subject. is he relieved? he couldn't even say. ]

It's quiet, yeah. [ that's already a giant plus in a cemetery's favor, if nothing else. ] ... Not right now, but generally.

[ weird music is still very much a factor that's disrupting the serenity of the place otherwise. ]

Did you not put up private memorials back on the colony?

[ Romelle shakes her head. ]

... no, we don't. Once someone is buried in space, their life is seen as completed and they do not need to be tethered to the colony anymore. They live on in memories and written records. We only have...

[ She trais off for a moment, her own fists clenching now. ]

We have one big monument to the ones who were sent to the 'second colony' I told you about. Imagine a stone twenty times the size of this one, full of names, with a giant statue of our oh-so-benevolent murderer right on top. He overlooks everything in the colony, his likeness is visible from practically everywhere. And he stands on the names of his victims.

[ After Bandor died, that monument had made her want to scream so so many times but she had to swallow it all down. ]

Of course, nobody knows this. Officially it is a symbol of our connection to our friends living elsewhere.

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[LOG] - Open September Catch-all!

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iii. ( i know that sandwich )

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