Aelwyn Abernant (
aelwyn_aberration) wrote in
apocalypsehowcomm2021-09-15 12:39 pm
Entry tags:
LOG: i've got high hopes, lots of potential... (OTA)
Who: Aelwyn Abernant & You.
When: Early to mid september.
Where: Around town, the ADI office, around the police station.
Summary: A catch-all for all september related activities, including research, paranoia and feeding the Lightless Flame.
Warnings: Paranoia, haunting, arson, misogyny, ableism, desolation feeding, side-effects of long-term sleep deprivation.
I.
[The drowsy effect of the graveyard gets to Aelwyn, probably a bit more than expected considering she doesn’t technically have to sleep. Luckily, however, she has work to keep her busy. Despite her mixed track record as a loose cannon, and despite the judgement from several different parties that would call her dangerous and destructive, she has thrown herself into working as a researcher.
Studying these gods and finding out how others harness them, how to combat them, notable cases that have been connected to these creatures... All of this has become something of an obsession to her. Sometimes she’ll even be drifting off into sleep her head laid across the open pages of a book.
She can be found researching late at night one evening, a cup of coffee cooling beside her, that she can be found pouring over old recorded records and facts that they know about the entities. To her dissatisfaction, it doesn’t seem to be a lot. She’ll sigh, rubbing exhaustion from her eyes.]
I get that some people would just choose to be evil for the sake of it, but they don’t really talk about any positive sides to these. It’s sort of like… do you want to stop having a conscience and act purely on hunger? Yes? Cool, come sell your soul.
You have to wonder if they’re just tied to the negative of this world, right?
II.
[She’s washing her hands in the office bathrooms when it happens. She looks up with a frown and sees an illusion. It startles her, but she knows this trick.
She was a follower of the Nightmare King, afterall. If there’s anything she knows, it’s fear. So when she looks at her reflection and sees a broken version of herself, draped in the layers that the elven prison were oh so kind enough to provide her. And draped around her neck is a shadowy black cat.
She scowls.] Is this supposed to be telling me something? All it’s telling me is that you need to learn some new tricks.
[She walks out of the bathroom, annoyed. A few minutes later can be spotted at the break room staring into space and stirring a cup of coffee for approximately two minutes.
III.
[And then, on a less serious note, she can be found around the apartment building. If you smell smoke coming from her apartment, don’t worry, nothing’s on fire except her attempt at cooking! Aelwyn can be spotted frightfully trying to salvage a smoking pan full of what appears to have been an attempt at frying eggs.
This is embarrassing for her. It looks like since Angelo left, she’s struggling with the whole “living as an independent person.”
She can also be found wandering through the halls and knocking on your apartment door.] Out of coffee. Can I borrow some?
[Whatever this sleeping spell is, it’s hitting her hard.]
IV.
[Her dreams are unpleasant. To the point that she’s been getting increasingly paranoid about the presence of the Nightmare King. It’s impossible. Both Kalina and the Nightmare King might have superficial similarities to this world but they’re from Spire. She’s not even sure if this is even the Great Wheel at all anymore.
She tends to go on long late-night walks, something that seems inadvisable considering the curfew, and the nightmares. She’s not sure what she’s looking for.
That’s a lie. She’s looking for prey. She looks in multiple places, all over Gloucester, but particularly in pretentious bars or 24 hour cafes.
She’s not doing it consciously, but it takes finding it for her to realise. And she does find it one night when she sits at a small, quiet restaurant, one of those Greek poems in her hands. It’s apparently some classic, but Aelwyn’s used to reading ancient spellbooks and scrolls so the outdated language is something her brain is already fine-tuned to be able to intuit on her own.
That’s when shes hears them. Some pricks from one of the nearby prestigious colleges. They’re celebrating, and at the head of all of them is this one kid with sandy blonde hair and a cruel tilt to his smile. Aelwyn knows it well. She’s used to surrounding herself with sharks. She hears them talking.
“Did you see Adeline? She completely flunked the final.”
“Didn’t she run out shaking and crying?”
And then the ringleader’s voice, nasally and thin, speaks up. “Yeah, well, I don’t know what she was expecting. Dumb bitch probably thought she could just bat her eyelids and graduate. My father always says that women have no place in higher education.”
Aelwyn has met these people. The way they tore down Adaine as she outshone them and then spat on her when she had an anxiety attack in the middle of the entrance exam. It took every ounce of restraint not to turn to each and every one of those little snot-nosed upstarts and disintegrate them. If she were a brave person, she’d stand up and punch him, or she’d stand up and call them out, or rub his nose in defeat by humiliating him in front of all his friends.
She’s not a brave person. But she is a cruel one.
The anger oozes out of her, replaced only by something akin to hunger. I’ve found my prey.
When she finds herself outside of his school’s carpark, pulling an old trick she and Penelope used to do whenever they wanted someone out of the way, with a canister of gasoline and an elemental made to look exactly like him. The elemental repeats the few words she heard him say on repeat. “I don’t know what she was expecting.” “Dumb bitch!” “My father always says…”]
Light ‘em up, darling. [And she hands him the canister and watches as he walks right inside the carpark and in plain view of the security cameras and gets to work setting all the cars ablaze, one by one. Say goodbye to your scholarship, buddy. It’s invigorating, and the only way someone might connect it to her is that she’s next to a nearby alley, doubling over and giggling.
This is so much better than any drugs or alcohol she’s ever poisoned herself with. This is what it feels like to be alive. In the fire, she feels her fears, her powerlessness, her self-hatred, all of it melt away. And to take its place, all she feels is the warmth of the fire.
She can be found that night at Bonnies, quietly and peacefully resting in the common room with a large bottle of iced tea and what looks like a full cheesecake on the table in front of her. She’s celebrating.
Alternatively, she can be found at the Laundromat, cleaning soot and the smell of gasoline out of her shirt, notably less giddy and peaceful now, and a whole lot more paranoid about what would happen if she were to be found.]
VI.
[Wildcard something! She's generally just keeping herself busy at day and then either reading or clubbing at night. Contact me on discord or Plurk if you want something more complicated than that.]
When: Early to mid september.
Where: Around town, the ADI office, around the police station.
Summary: A catch-all for all september related activities, including research, paranoia and feeding the Lightless Flame.
Warnings: Paranoia, haunting, arson, misogyny, ableism, desolation feeding, side-effects of long-term sleep deprivation.
I.
[The drowsy effect of the graveyard gets to Aelwyn, probably a bit more than expected considering she doesn’t technically have to sleep. Luckily, however, she has work to keep her busy. Despite her mixed track record as a loose cannon, and despite the judgement from several different parties that would call her dangerous and destructive, she has thrown herself into working as a researcher.
Studying these gods and finding out how others harness them, how to combat them, notable cases that have been connected to these creatures... All of this has become something of an obsession to her. Sometimes she’ll even be drifting off into sleep her head laid across the open pages of a book.
She can be found researching late at night one evening, a cup of coffee cooling beside her, that she can be found pouring over old recorded records and facts that they know about the entities. To her dissatisfaction, it doesn’t seem to be a lot. She’ll sigh, rubbing exhaustion from her eyes.]
I get that some people would just choose to be evil for the sake of it, but they don’t really talk about any positive sides to these. It’s sort of like… do you want to stop having a conscience and act purely on hunger? Yes? Cool, come sell your soul.
You have to wonder if they’re just tied to the negative of this world, right?
II.
[She’s washing her hands in the office bathrooms when it happens. She looks up with a frown and sees an illusion. It startles her, but she knows this trick.
She was a follower of the Nightmare King, afterall. If there’s anything she knows, it’s fear. So when she looks at her reflection and sees a broken version of herself, draped in the layers that the elven prison were oh so kind enough to provide her. And draped around her neck is a shadowy black cat.
She scowls.] Is this supposed to be telling me something? All it’s telling me is that you need to learn some new tricks.
[She walks out of the bathroom, annoyed. A few minutes later can be spotted at the break room staring into space and stirring a cup of coffee for approximately two minutes.
III.
[And then, on a less serious note, she can be found around the apartment building. If you smell smoke coming from her apartment, don’t worry, nothing’s on fire except her attempt at cooking! Aelwyn can be spotted frightfully trying to salvage a smoking pan full of what appears to have been an attempt at frying eggs.
This is embarrassing for her. It looks like since Angelo left, she’s struggling with the whole “living as an independent person.”
She can also be found wandering through the halls and knocking on your apartment door.] Out of coffee. Can I borrow some?
[Whatever this sleeping spell is, it’s hitting her hard.]
IV.
[Her dreams are unpleasant. To the point that she’s been getting increasingly paranoid about the presence of the Nightmare King. It’s impossible. Both Kalina and the Nightmare King might have superficial similarities to this world but they’re from Spire. She’s not even sure if this is even the Great Wheel at all anymore.
She tends to go on long late-night walks, something that seems inadvisable considering the curfew, and the nightmares. She’s not sure what she’s looking for.
That’s a lie. She’s looking for prey. She looks in multiple places, all over Gloucester, but particularly in pretentious bars or 24 hour cafes.
She’s not doing it consciously, but it takes finding it for her to realise. And she does find it one night when she sits at a small, quiet restaurant, one of those Greek poems in her hands. It’s apparently some classic, but Aelwyn’s used to reading ancient spellbooks and scrolls so the outdated language is something her brain is already fine-tuned to be able to intuit on her own.
That’s when shes hears them. Some pricks from one of the nearby prestigious colleges. They’re celebrating, and at the head of all of them is this one kid with sandy blonde hair and a cruel tilt to his smile. Aelwyn knows it well. She’s used to surrounding herself with sharks. She hears them talking.
“Did you see Adeline? She completely flunked the final.”
“Didn’t she run out shaking and crying?”
And then the ringleader’s voice, nasally and thin, speaks up. “Yeah, well, I don’t know what she was expecting. Dumb bitch probably thought she could just bat her eyelids and graduate. My father always says that women have no place in higher education.”
Aelwyn has met these people. The way they tore down Adaine as she outshone them and then spat on her when she had an anxiety attack in the middle of the entrance exam. It took every ounce of restraint not to turn to each and every one of those little snot-nosed upstarts and disintegrate them. If she were a brave person, she’d stand up and punch him, or she’d stand up and call them out, or rub his nose in defeat by humiliating him in front of all his friends.
She’s not a brave person. But she is a cruel one.
The anger oozes out of her, replaced only by something akin to hunger. I’ve found my prey.
When she finds herself outside of his school’s carpark, pulling an old trick she and Penelope used to do whenever they wanted someone out of the way, with a canister of gasoline and an elemental made to look exactly like him. The elemental repeats the few words she heard him say on repeat. “I don’t know what she was expecting.” “Dumb bitch!” “My father always says…”]
Light ‘em up, darling. [And she hands him the canister and watches as he walks right inside the carpark and in plain view of the security cameras and gets to work setting all the cars ablaze, one by one. Say goodbye to your scholarship, buddy. It’s invigorating, and the only way someone might connect it to her is that she’s next to a nearby alley, doubling over and giggling.
This is so much better than any drugs or alcohol she’s ever poisoned herself with. This is what it feels like to be alive. In the fire, she feels her fears, her powerlessness, her self-hatred, all of it melt away. And to take its place, all she feels is the warmth of the fire.
She can be found that night at Bonnies, quietly and peacefully resting in the common room with a large bottle of iced tea and what looks like a full cheesecake on the table in front of her. She’s celebrating.
Alternatively, she can be found at the Laundromat, cleaning soot and the smell of gasoline out of her shirt, notably less giddy and peaceful now, and a whole lot more paranoid about what would happen if she were to be found.]
VI.
[Wildcard something! She's generally just keeping herself busy at day and then either reading or clubbing at night. Contact me on discord or Plurk if you want something more complicated than that.]

IV
Who the fuck. Set all the cars on fire? Ren needs to figure this out, find the cause, find the perpetrator, understand the situation, this must be a crime if all cars are scorching with a passion, the sound of alarms polluting the air and the smoke makes it hard to see.
Ren's going to get to the bottom of this. His eyes close, and when they open, things are not exactly the same as the moment before. The drips of gasoline leading to the spot Aelwyn is giggling at the glow on the dark concrete, and Ren follows it with a fury delineating his every step until...
He finds his friend. Her hands have traces of gasoline, clear as day to the boy's ability. His hands go to her shoulders, concerned and upset at the same time.)
What are you thinking?!
no subject
Her eyes narrow. That's... Ren Amamiya. He's... they're friends. She's pretty sure they're friends. If she had her rational mind intact, she'd notice that the power of the flame seems to purify her even of things she has no interest in removing.
Instead she gives him a wry grin.]
What does it look like? Karmic justice. I want to see their futures go up in fucking flames for what they and everyone exactly like them did. And this way, I can still be useful. It's a win-win!
[Then the smile seems more sober. The fire dissipates behind her.] Look, I know what I'm doing.
no subject
(Dragging innocent people into it isn't going to solve anything. He looks around the parking lot, squinting his eyes to all the cars that burn and smoke, and his gaze returns to her, the grip not strong in a way that's forceful, but in a way that begs for understanding, for her to snap out of it.
She's a criminal? He's one too. His list of crimes is not something to be overlooked, and even criminals can tell right from wrong.)
And the people who won't be able to get to work tomorrow? Who won't have money to pay for a new one and will have to struggle? What if someone innocent got hurt? What about those futures? Or do you only care about those that mean something to you?
(Wow, he speaks.)
no subject
It'll mean more power.]
If you're asking me to put them above the amount of power I can use – to our benefit, then the answer is always going to be no. I'm not a good person, kiddo, you're going to have to accept that.
[Why should she give a shit about any of these strangers who might suffer? Maybe they deserve it. Everyone at Hudol certainly earned a thorough burning. Nobody's dying. She's done worse. All these excuses cloud her mind, but the truth is she just feels nothing for these strangers.]
no subject
(Because there's no way she doesn't see what she's doing. Working on assumptions is something out of an amateur's book, and Ren? Ren chooses to believe everyone has the potential to become better, to repent, to work within themselves to find a more enlightened path, no matter how hard it is.
Just saying 'I'm not a good person' is taking out the responsibility of each and all to try and be something more, something better.
So, yeah, he's irate.)
If this is your idea of benefit, I don't want it.
no subject
So fuck that. They don't need to thank her. She's used to offering someone an oliva branch and watching them throw it back in her face.] You know, maybe I am.
You'll be glad for it when the real monsters show up. The Kelpies turned you into prey and it took us – how long to find you, exactly? We could've found you within the day if I was at full power, we could have killed all of them before they even got a chance to turn you into those fucked up seal floaties. Everyone here will survive. Their lives will be a bit harder but they'll survive.
Whatever nightmare comes next might not be so gracious.
no subject
(Never has his voice boomed so strongly, so thundering, covered with resolve and decisiveness in his anger. Ren never takes action without investigation, without a thorough comprehension of the sort of person and crime they're dealing with, with unanimous voting.
This is rushed, unthought, stupid in nature. He's absolutely reporting this, in case she hasn't realized thus far.)
no subject
Why does this happen? Every time she tries to help they spit in her face? Adaine, Sam, that weird demon girl. What's the point in even trying to be good? Penelope gave her nothing but praise and affection for all of her ugly side. Kalina, as terrifying as she was, was never anything but proud of her whenever she helped her.
What is the point of even being good if there's no benefit to it? Why shouldn't she just help the fucking fire god raze this world to the ground?]
What do you want from me, then? An apology? A confession? Sure, I'll just hand myself up to be tortured again. That'll work.
[The elemental is done, and the face of the kid she's ruining approaches and in a moment of pure loathing Aelwyn reaches forward and banishes it.] All these places breed is monsters like me. If you're going to treat me like I burnt the entire place down, I might as well have done it.
no subject
Yet, he still believes what his heart knows to be true.)
Don't let me catch you again.
no subject
[It's subtle but something changes in her demeanor and maybe even something more literal than that changes in her appearance. Were her eyes always that blue?
She casts Detect Thoughts, which allows her to read surface thoughts.] If you do, then we'll have problems.
no subject
Secondly, he hasn't decided what to do thus far. This is delicate. He, too, isn't abiding by ADI's book completely. It can be a shitty idea to snitch when he too is not clear of fault.)
I'm leaving. Think about what I've said.
cw suicidal ideation & memory manipulation
Memory manipulation... she really hasn't changed at all. This time it wouldn't be aimed internally. All she has to do is cast one spell and she can erase the entire incident in his pretty little head, and they'll talk about that one rich kid they saw setting everything on fire.
She's disgusting, she knows that.
Maybe she can just run. Hightail it. Disappear like her definitely dead roommates. It'd be simpler then.
Maybe she should kill him here. It'd be easy. She's so powerful and he's just a kid, younger than her. She's just a baby.
She's so sick of living this way. She's so sick of herself, of being in her own head and being a witness to all the awful things she does. But she's right, in this case. There's nothing good about schools like Hudol.
Rolling a wisdom saving throw... (10+5=15) SUCCESS.]
Do whatever the fuck you want. [And with that she fades away into the mist.]
no subject
Ren has to wonder whether he is able to change her heart, take away her distortion, make her see that she can leave all this, she can use her powers for the goodness of others, feed the compulsions within her in smarter ways, justice-following ways.
She disappears, and he finally attempts to breathe - only soaking in the smoke and the terrible stench of burnt leather. He should get going.)
I
There's no change in his expression, though even if there was it would be difficult to see behind the card he holds over it. There's no positives, huh...? He supposes that's true enough, there doesn't seem to be any practical purpose. But then, he's never thought about the concept of whether or not a person chose to be evil - he has the knowledge and all the philosophical data, but there was likewise no practical reason for him to make a determination on such matters for himself.
So it takes him several seconds longer than it might otherwise have to answer: ]
... Huh. You think so? it seems like just getting power would be the positive. There's gotta be some catch to getting something a person shouldn't.
[ He rolls his shoulders in an exaggerated gesture. So maybe selling your soul isn't inaccurate, though he doesn't have one to sell. ]
Besides, don'tchya think the negative emotions are what makes a person a person?
[ His father seemed to emphasize the importance of them, anyway. It was an important point of research for him. ]
no subject
Power would be a good enough sell for most people, sure. Still it's absolutely not enough to promote loyalty. Even evil gods dedicated to bringing the worst out of their subjects have ways of breeding loyalty in their tyranny.
Like say... the Hunt. Hunting people down and murdering them – pretty bad, sure – but when it's a hero hunting down a monster and slaying it, well that's just justice. [She can think of a few different dogma that could go with that one. Hunting being the natural instinct of this species, murder being a true show of strength and ability that will prove them worthy.]
It just doesn't match any religious propoganda I've ever seen.
no subject
He drums his fingers on the table. No, it's even stranger that there was no strong rationalization for the way that things were - by now, somebody should've made something up and started preaching it to make everyone feel better. ]
Me neither. Bet they're a hit with cultists, but these guys don't seem like they'd catch on with the general public. Gods gotta follow human rules too, right? Since they're made for humans and all.
[ It's a matter-of-fact statement with no particular emotion behind it. There was always room for new information, but current research suggested that gods were made by and for humans. They were born from human ingenuity, and they served the important purpose of acting as a rule of nature and as a means of comfort. They can promise a soul and an afterlife to soothe the fear of death; they can promise purpose and reward for deeds well done.
So if it's not made for or by humans, then perhaps it would only make sense that it was something humans couldn't comprehend - like the concept of nothingness, or conversely, infinity. But he tries to apply human logic to the little bit of knowledge they has regardless, and comes up with nothing more than a frustrating series of questions.
After a moment, he remembers to add: ]
Well, them's the rules where I come from, anyway. People just make stuff up to fill in the gaps, so folks really eat it up. I dunno that whatever these guys are supposed to be are playing by the same rules.
no subject
It's a bit funny how easily twisted they are despite supposedly being all powerful. But that's just the gods of my universe. [And multiverse but hey, if this guy doesn't think they exist for real, that's up to him. She hasn't realised at this point that she's definitely not still in the Great Wheel.]
I suppose it's true that they could be following entirely seperate rules, though... It's not unheard of.
no subject
Besides, he is curious. His creators didn't see much need for religion or spirituality, past the history and psychology, leaving it a bit of a blind spot. So rather than dismiss the idea, he chooses to defer to her, nodding in acknowledgement of her point and continues his line of questioning: ]
Hmm... They sound pretty fragile.
[ Just like humans. How strange indeed. ]
So, d'ya think it's possible for 'em to shape one that's just mindless? Y'know, something that just acts on instinct. The kind of god one of those freaky torture cults might think up, where the cruelty's kinda the point. Or the type who just see a god as something to be feared.
[ Though perhaps there weren't enough of those for it to take such influence, or some other mechanism in place. Certainly, even most destructive cults had more proper incentive, but he'd heard of a few exceptions. It truly was amazing what humans could adapt to, and what they could normalize. ]
no subject
[She taps her chin, contemplating her question. Really, that seems like it'd be more universally shaped by the conciousness of it's followers...] It'd be harder to do something intentionally but... probably, yes, I'd say it's possible to shape them that way.
They are shaped by human fears, after all.
no subject
Well, if it was something like that, I guess it'd answer one question. There's plenty of dumb bastards obsessed with the apocalypse too, either because they're nutjobs who buy into conspiracy theories, or since they think it's means of punishment or salvation. Still doesn't explain a whole lot, though.
[ He lets out a small, frustrated sigh. Why drag in completely unrelated parties? Why latch onto ones who didn't even align with their beliefs? Even animals could determine the best marks. This almost seems random. ]
Y'know, if they're righter beings, you'd think you'd at least figure out how to communicate better.
no subject
[She did one course on religious studies so she's familiar with the divine pact and all that.
Still. She thinks they're a bunch of waffling morons. All gods are.] Sometimes they're just too prideful. Or they think humanity's beneath them. Or they're too vast and unknowable for us puny mortals to understand.
[She rolls her eyes.]
I
I think it isn't very different from the people who take power from exploiting people in any other world. Someone who is willing to prolong a war to make billions isn't a better person than someone who is willing to prolong a war to cast magic spells from the fear it creates.
[She looks up, reaching absently to pick up the cup she'd brought from the canteen, and grimacing when she finds it empty.]
But I think if they do have a good side, or if there are some that are less awful than the others, an organization devoted to fighting them would probably not be the place to find that information. They wouldn't want the recruits who have not already been attached to the Dread Powers to decide that maybe aligning with one would not be so bad, and would help in the crusade.
no subject
[She's aware she's discussing this in the middle of their headquarters but she doesn't really mind. It's not like she's particularly outraged by the prospect, if she were in charge she'd be doing the same thing.
There's little they could do that she wouldn't nod and say 'fair enough' considering their goal is to save the world. But if that's not their goal? Then that's a problem.]
Wouldn't surprise me if the higher-ups have intentionally turned a few employees into Avatars they could put on leashes, just to try and get some on their own side.
In war, the better armed side always wins. The moral highground rarely plays into it. [In theory, anyway. Aelwyn's genre savvy enough to know that the plucky heroes have a way of winning anyway.]
no subject
[She rolls one shoulder in a shrug.]
But you're right that morality is rarely a factor. I don't think they would avoid giving people bad ideas because of moral objection. It's just practical. Even if they want an Avatar on a leash, they would not want fifteen junior operatives dabbling in dangerous magic.
no subject
I agree though. It does make me a bit interested in finding whatever information they've got hidden away, though... Still, I suppose it'll be a while before we learn anything like that.
no subject
[Some days, she even sympathizes with them - or at least with the 'burn the world' part.]
I think it will be quite a while. Organizations like ADI are reluctant to give up their secrets.
[And it takes time to learn the intricacies of an installation's security.]
no subject
Sometimes the world needs to be burnt. Or at least sometimes it's a relief to just watch it all go up in flames. On that much, Aelwyn relates.] You'd think they'd want to rule over the intact copy. Or at least try to go for that.
[She sighs.]
Somehow I feel as if their secrets will escape them before long. They always tend to.
I
But it's much busier places than the Archives had ever been.
He glances up from what he's reading when Aelwyn speaks, and gives a small shrug.]
Perhaps it's helpful to think of it more like an addiction. Like smoking or harder drugs or gambling even. You know it's bad for you, that it may eventually destroy you and hurt the people around you.
But it's not a quick thing. You just have one cigarette, because you're stressed, or a friend offers. And then you have another. And it feels good for a while. Each one becomes easier, and the consequences of stopping become worse.
You never mean for things to get that bad. They just do.
no subject
I understand that's why people turn to these on an individual level, and some probably just desire powers but...
[It still feels wrong to her.]
But why would anyone be loyal to that? From what I understand, there's entire cults dedicated to these entities and Pyre seemed to see it as not inherently malicious.
And I can sort of follow the logic, I mean, they seem to represent cornerstones of both this world and my world, even if just through the lens of fear. Fire, pain, hunting, meat, knowledge, air, dirt, disease. All of these are natural and could be framed in such a way that they're not evil. Which just makes it odd that they always are.
Not because I don't believe that they're evil, I'm sure they are, it's just that I have to wonder if they represent the positive or neutral parts of these concepts as well as the actively malevolent. If you got rid of them all would gravity stop being a thing in this world? Would every spider in the world disappear? Would the sun be completely snuffed out?
CW: Discussion of cults
It doesn't mean they are.
[He runs a hand over his face.]
I don't think it's the spider itself that is evil. [See Martin he can learn.] They're just a... a symbol. It's about the fear of manipulation. Of being caught in a trap that you can't perceive.
...alright and sometimes genuine fear of spiders.
If there were older records I'm sure we'd find information about how these entities have changed through the centuries.
no subject
Still, the opposite is also true. I've had an encounter with a cult to a god that we know objectively is a force for good and order, and the cult itself was trying to bring about the end of the world.
There's an evil god of spiders back home that's rather infamous among the elven people. She considers them all her children. Still, I can't say I've ever felt particularly manipulated by a spider.
[Why aren't there older records? Surely these monsters have existed for millenia, you'd think there's be something at least. Humans are weird and bad at taking notes.]
...To clarify I'm absolutely not a religious person. The idea of selling my autonomy to these creatures is repulsive, I'm just wondering about their deeper nature.
no subject
[Love had helped him save Martin. But he remembers Jane and the wasp nest that had sung to her of belonging and love.]
It's not so much the spiders really, as it is the web.
Oh, I'm not religious either. And who says you're selling autonomy? We don't know what they want really. It's all interpretation. Seems more like people being offered something they need, or going in with the best intentions, and then... it's a deal with a lot of undisclosed small print.
no subject
I suppose I can see the connection with the web of a spider and the strings of a puppet. Though, I'd still say the latter is a lot more coherent of a metaphor.
[She leans a bit closer and cocks her head slightly.] You seem pretty knowledgeable on the subject, Sims. Been reading a lot about it?
[She recalls his pre-existing expectations of the circus... She might have to pay a bit closer attention to him and his boyfriend.]
no subject
I suppose. In the end all of these titles are just... attempting to apply a framework to things we can't understand.
[He gives a shrug.]
I've read a lot. I was a researcher at home so all of this is- well, it's what I'm good at.
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[Her tone's friendly but there's an undercurrent of... something between curiosity and suspicion hidden in there.
Things we can't understand? Honey, you underestimate her hubris. There is nothing in this world that they can't understand. It's rule number one of being a wizard, not even a personal philosophy so much as a rule of conduct.]
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Are they verifiably real over there or more like this one where the general populace lives in complete and utter ignorance?
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Did you know that vibrations... sound waves at certain frequencies just below the range of human hearing can cause feelings of dread and fear, dizziness, blurred vision? A lot of hauntings can be tracked back to that.
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I can invoke dread just by waving a wand at someone. Literally, I just overpower their brain and make them feel overwhelming dread. Fake hauntings happen but there's almost always a supernatural explanation.
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Probably the same principle when you get down to it.
[Make the bones of the ear vibrate in just the wrong way...
And Jon can invoke dread by looking too hard at people if he isn't careful. He hasn't done much research into the mechanisms of that. The Fears don't tend to obey scientific laws.]
Well, where I'm from they're almost entirely fake.
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Are the remaining .01 percent just cases you can confirm or cases you're not sure about?
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You seemed to walk in there with some prior expectations.
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Yes well, when a sentient ringmaster mannequin wants to skin you alive, you come out a bit less enthralled by the prospect of the circus.
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Yeah, I can imagine that'd be a bit of a turn-off. Who's to say Fenix didn't want to skin us, though? He probably thought about it at least.
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