i. Wired - Magic Mirror (cw: internalized toxic masculinity and body images, dysmorphia, self-esteem issues)
[Rodney doesn't even want to stop at the stupid booth.
Really, what's so great about it? It's a boring concept, nothing innovative about it, probably some AI that changes your video feed in real time, how groundbreaking. But then he watches it from afar and he can't quite figure out how exactly it works. Which is galling. So he steps closer and he gives it a try and soon gets caught up in it like he would in the character creation window of a new RPG. Meaning he fiddles with the controls and tweaks and sculpts meticulously until all the proportions are to his liking.
Taller. Leaner. His broad shoulders can stay, they actually work nicely once the rest is-- well, not fixed, he wouldn't consciously admit to thinking anything needs fixing, but... improved. So much improved. There's muscles that are more toned, there's a slimmer, more athletic frame, there's an improved posture. His hair, he definitely does something about that, too, fixing that receding hairline until it falls into his face in a messy-yet-fashionable way.
Oh man.
He stares at the image, baffled by the results. While he tried to act and proclaim that he was a fairly attractive man that is mostly posing because he really doesn't think of himself as such - how could you when you traveld with people who looked like Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon and be the fourth member to their weird existence as both models and superheroes?
And then he feels uncomfortable, self-conscious, embarrassed that he's even wasting his time on this stupid program. Except he can't stop looking at himself, turning left and right, imagining what it would be like going on a mission like this, vaulting over stones and nimbly moving between trees, shooting at Wraith with one hand while fixing a console with the other, hair mussed up from the wind and heat of battle...
He winces when he realizes he's not alone and quickly clears his throat, trying to be casual about it.]
Nice gimmick but overall just a, a really a boring concept, like, there's nothing innovative about it, just some AI that changes your video feed in real time, I could write a program like that...
ii. Wired - Server Room
Oh, come on!
[Rodney throws his hands up in frustration when he sees the rows and rows and rows of the server maze.]
Seriously? Just once, can any of this follow some sort of logic? I feel there should be laws to this? Just saying that it's magic shouldn't make it a free for all and either it's magic or it's technology, don't make it technology when you don't plan on adhering to technology's rules.
Where's the electricity coming from, huh? Is it magic electricity? If it's magic electricity, why make it look like it runs on regular electricity when clearly, it doesn't? I'm sorry, did you fail basic physics in school and now you have to compensate by making it magic physics and pretend you know what you're doing with your magic circuits and your magic coding?
[Bicker, bicker, bicker.
He yelps when one of the copper snakes attacks him, flailing, jumping, managing to slip off his backpack and smashing it down on it again and again and again until he's sure it stopped moving.]
See! That's what I'm talking about! What is that! Why is that! That is a perfectly good copper connection wasted on a carnival scare!
[He's so scared. And the more scared he gets the louder and the faster he talks.
Just wait until he sees the first bodies.]
iii. Enter the matrix
[He studied this.
All his life, this is what his mind was directed at. Space and its vastness and all the things about the universe they didn't understand. It's why he went to Atlantis, exploring, venturing out, experimenting, observing, inventing.
He's in a space suit, floating, and the stars and the universe, it all stretches out around him. There is so much he already understands in a theoretical frame and his mind races, calculates, equations pressing down on him as they attack him with bodily, visceral experience. It's Dogtown's Stars all over again and it's too much, his mind can't keep up but it tries, it almost feels like Ascending again, that place where near absolute knowledge had filled his head, where he had started to invent new Mathematics.
He's so close to understanding and some part of him wants to, needs to, almost wants to hurl himself into that deep nothingness just so that he can see, that he can comprehend, that he can push past the limits of his mind-- We love you, Elizabeth tells him and it makes him stop, like it made him stop once before from becoming pure energy, from reaching that next plane of existence.
Others.
There are others.
This is what he does, he figures things out for others because they need him because he is smart and because they love him--
I've come to realize that, because the people here have become a sort of a-a surrogate family to me. Now, I know what you're thinking. I've never really been the poster child for that kind of sentiment...
He closes his eyes, trying to pry himself away from the big picture. Trying to imagine the others in it. Clearly they're lost without him. Just look at this giant universe, how can he expect them to navigate it without his expertise, without his insight? They need him, obviously.
In the real world, his hand moves to tear at one of the cables and the universe in the machine spins, shifts, fades away to a different metaphor, someone else's metaphor. He looks around, puzzled, pulled back in before he can fully break free.
Rodney McKay | Stargate: Atlantis | ota
[Rodney doesn't even want to stop at the stupid booth.
Really, what's so great about it? It's a boring concept, nothing innovative about it, probably some AI that changes your video feed in real time, how groundbreaking. But then he watches it from afar and he can't quite figure out how exactly it works. Which is galling. So he steps closer and he gives it a try and soon gets caught up in it like he would in the character creation window of a new RPG. Meaning he fiddles with the controls and tweaks and sculpts meticulously until all the proportions are to his liking.
Taller. Leaner. His broad shoulders can stay, they actually work nicely once the rest is-- well, not fixed, he wouldn't consciously admit to thinking anything needs fixing, but... improved. So much improved. There's muscles that are more toned, there's a slimmer, more athletic frame, there's an improved posture. His hair, he definitely does something about that, too, fixing that receding hairline until it falls into his face in a messy-yet-fashionable way.
Oh man.
He stares at the image, baffled by the results. While he tried to act and proclaim that he was a fairly attractive man that is mostly posing because he really doesn't think of himself as such - how could you when you traveld with people who looked like Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon and be the fourth member to their weird existence as both models and superheroes?
And then he feels uncomfortable, self-conscious, embarrassed that he's even wasting his time on this stupid program. Except he can't stop looking at himself, turning left and right, imagining what it would be like going on a mission like this, vaulting over stones and nimbly moving between trees, shooting at Wraith with one hand while fixing a console with the other, hair mussed up from the wind and heat of battle...
He winces when he realizes he's not alone and quickly clears his throat, trying to be casual about it.]
Nice gimmick but overall just a, a really a boring concept, like, there's nothing innovative about it, just some AI that changes your video feed in real time, I could write a program like that...
ii. Wired - Server Room
Oh, come on!
[Rodney throws his hands up in frustration when he sees the rows and rows and rows of the server maze.]
Seriously? Just once, can any of this follow some sort of logic? I feel there should be laws to this? Just saying that it's magic shouldn't make it a free for all and either it's magic or it's technology, don't make it technology when you don't plan on adhering to technology's rules.
Where's the electricity coming from, huh? Is it magic electricity? If it's magic electricity, why make it look like it runs on regular electricity when clearly, it doesn't? I'm sorry, did you fail basic physics in school and now you have to compensate by making it magic physics and pretend you know what you're doing with your magic circuits and your magic coding?
[Bicker, bicker, bicker.
He yelps when one of the copper snakes attacks him, flailing, jumping, managing to slip off his backpack and smashing it down on it again and again and again until he's sure it stopped moving.]
See! That's what I'm talking about! What is that! Why is that! That is a perfectly good copper connection wasted on a carnival scare!
[He's so scared. And the more scared he gets the louder and the faster he talks.
Just wait until he sees the first bodies.]
iii. Enter the matrix
[He studied this.
All his life, this is what his mind was directed at. Space and its vastness and all the things about the universe they didn't understand. It's why he went to Atlantis, exploring, venturing out, experimenting, observing, inventing.
He's in a space suit, floating, and the stars and the universe, it all stretches out around him. There is so much he already understands in a theoretical frame and his mind races, calculates, equations pressing down on him as they attack him with bodily, visceral experience. It's Dogtown's Stars all over again and it's too much, his mind can't keep up but it tries, it almost feels like Ascending again, that place where near absolute knowledge had filled his head, where he had started to invent new Mathematics.
He's so close to understanding and some part of him wants to, needs to, almost wants to hurl himself into that deep nothingness just so that he can see, that he can comprehend, that he can push past the limits of his mind-- We love you, Elizabeth tells him and it makes him stop, like it made him stop once before from becoming pure energy, from reaching that next plane of existence.
Others.
There are others.
This is what he does, he figures things out for others because they need him because he is smart and because they love him--
I've come to realize that, because the people here have become a sort of a-a surrogate family to me. Now, I know what you're thinking. I've never really been the poster child for that kind of sentiment...
He closes his eyes, trying to pry himself away from the big picture. Trying to imagine the others in it. Clearly they're lost without him. Just look at this giant universe, how can he expect them to navigate it without his expertise, without his insight? They need him, obviously.
In the real world, his hand moves to tear at one of the cables and the universe in the machine spins, shifts, fades away to a different metaphor, someone else's metaphor. He looks around, puzzled, pulled back in before he can fully break free.
But maybe he can help?]
Hello?