punched_hitler: ([ae] outside looking in)
Steve Rogers ☆ Captain America ([personal profile] punched_hitler) wrote in [community profile] apocalypsehowcomm 2023-07-23 10:55 pm (UTC)

Steve maybe should've seen that question coming. He's quiet as Winter leads the way to the bench; it feels better outside. Less cloying. Less claustrophobic. Easier to leave the anger behind. A little.

"You're - I don't want to say braver," he starts, carefully. "You were always brave. But it's different now. A different type of bravery, I guess. You, uh. You told me how you felt," he adds, feeling a little awkward, a little embarrassed. "I don't know if you would've done that before." Steve had clearly been too chicken to do it first, and - they'd never have gotten to what they have now.

"You've lost a lot," he adds, fingers tightening around Winter's. "You've reinvented yourself. But even though the bones are the same. You're a new person. I don't know if I can describe it better than that. You are Bucky, but you're not. You're Winter. You took what was left of him, and you kept going."

It's - hard, actually, for him to say that. Like watching Bucky fall, all over again. Like willingly giving him up. Steve's voice is admittedly a little hoarse, and he's looking at the horizon. But he's also proud, to know this new person, who isn't Bucky but also is, and he doesn't think he really has the words to explain the delineation, because it's both clear as day and fuzzy as hell.

"You're not the ghost of my dead best friend," he finally gets out, voice so quiet it's mostly a whisper. "You're just you. I don't think I woulda ever let myself love him, but it's - I love you."

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