... [She feels like she should defend them, say that everything they did was all with the intention of making her and Adaine into the truly staggeringly powerful forces of nature that they are today.
But they're not here. And if she has her way, she'll never see them again. So maybe... maybe she can try being actively critical of what they did. The way they treated her, and worse, the way they treated Adaine.]
Love was something we had to earn through success in my house. It was a finite resource that they pit me and my sister against one another to try to earn those precious few scraps. "Laughing" and "having a good time" isn't earning that love, it's...
Well, in their mind, it's squandering it. We weren't allowed to buy clothes that weren't varieties of our school uniform, eat any foods that weren't entirely healthy, buy anything for ourselves... [Then, with a bitter smile directed entirely at herself, she continues.]
I was always the favourite, the one they looked at as the Golden Child who could do no wrong because I excelled at magic and school and politics. Everything I set my mind to I mastered. I'm sure you're aware by now that despite all that, I'm a deeply horrible person. They never quite figured that part out.
But my sister has an anxiety disorder. They didn't want to diagnose it or do anything about it because I don't think they ever understood it, so they simply demanded she stop having panic attacks at the enormous amounts of pressure they piled onto her back. It's funny because she's more powerful than me by a wide margin, but as an automaton who only exists to serve their will all they could see was dysfunction.
[She rests her chin on her fist, staring at the goats, before turning to Keith with a sardonic smile.] Pause for laughter.
cw for parental neglect, ableism and emotional abuse
But they're not here. And if she has her way, she'll never see them again. So maybe... maybe she can try being actively critical of what they did. The way they treated her, and worse, the way they treated Adaine.]
Love was something we had to earn through success in my house. It was a finite resource that they pit me and my sister against one another to try to earn those precious few scraps. "Laughing" and "having a good time" isn't earning that love, it's...
Well, in their mind, it's squandering it. We weren't allowed to buy clothes that weren't varieties of our school uniform, eat any foods that weren't entirely healthy, buy anything for ourselves... [Then, with a bitter smile directed entirely at herself, she continues.]
I was always the favourite, the one they looked at as the Golden Child who could do no wrong because I excelled at magic and school and politics. Everything I set my mind to I mastered. I'm sure you're aware by now that despite all that, I'm a deeply horrible person. They never quite figured that part out.
But my sister has an anxiety disorder. They didn't want to diagnose it or do anything about it because I don't think they ever understood it, so they simply demanded she stop having panic attacks at the enormous amounts of pressure they piled onto her back. It's funny because she's more powerful than me by a wide margin, but as an automaton who only exists to serve their will all they could see was dysfunction.
[She rests her chin on her fist, staring at the goats, before turning to Keith with a sardonic smile.] Pause for laughter.