[ that’s a loaded question. shiro isn’t sure of the answer. he’s been out of sync with his life since that galra cruiser came into view back on kerberos. from an alien prison cell to a castleship to another reality entirely, shiro craves anything that will tether him back to the confident, unbroken thing he was before. shiro claims he’s holding on so tight to keith because they’re a team and they have the best chance of surviving the threat of this reality if they keep each other close. all true, but there’s more to it than that. it started with voltron. lance, hunk, pidge -- they have their own, minimal way of connecting him back to the garrison but they didn’t know him. not the real him. keith does. did? and there in the castleship, feeling so far from home and out of sorts in both his body and mind, he mentally clung to the constant of keith, his best friend and confidant, for some sense of stability.
the right hand of voltron, heh, fitting, because he’s definitely that for shiro.
so part of him wonders if adam would bolster the same feeling. sure, things were a ruin in the end, with the distance too great for them to bridge beyond the necessary cordialness required of two people working within the same circle but there are happy memories to be found there. memories of the real takashi shirogane, untouched by imprisonment and war. maybe shiro would feel more like himself if adam was here to tsk and remind him to take care of himself.
fuck, what a selfish reason to want someone to be dragged into this mess.
that’s the truth of it though. shiro doesn’t miss adam and he doesn’t regret the break-up or the sudden gap it left in his life those few months before launch day. shiro simply misses feeling whole. but collecting reminders and people from his days as golden boy are never going to be enough to accomplish that.
will he tell keith even the bare minimum of how he truly feels? no. the moment is heavy and strained as it is, and as always, shiro doesn’t want to talk about the burdens of his life. so he deflects. still staring into the crowd, he lets his mouth tug hard to one side on a lopsided smile, none of that supposed amusement reaching his eyes. ]
No. [ at least he sounds sure in that one word. the rest? comes out flippant, clearly playing up a joke. ] He’d hate it here for one. The whole 2021 east coast living while preventing an apocalypse thing -- heh, it would not go over well. He needs structure and routine, something he can depend on.
[ amazing then, that he stuck it out so long with shiro and his chaotic health. though, maybe there's something to that. adam could depend on the progression of the disease and the gradual decline of shiro’s body. he simply couldn’t depend on shiro’s reaction to it. he blows out a breath on the thought and then pitches his weight back, reclining his back to the picnic table, elbows resting along the edge.
he tilts a look keith’s way and again, forces the joke. ]
And two… things are scary enough as they are without my ex following me around.
no subject
the right hand of voltron, heh, fitting, because he’s definitely that for shiro.
so part of him wonders if adam would bolster the same feeling. sure, things were a ruin in the end, with the distance too great for them to bridge beyond the necessary cordialness required of two people working within the same circle but there are happy memories to be found there. memories of the real takashi shirogane, untouched by imprisonment and war. maybe shiro would feel more like himself if adam was here to tsk and remind him to take care of himself.
fuck, what a selfish reason to want someone to be dragged into this mess.
that’s the truth of it though. shiro doesn’t miss adam and he doesn’t regret the break-up or the sudden gap it left in his life those few months before launch day. shiro simply misses feeling whole. but collecting reminders and people from his days as golden boy are never going to be enough to accomplish that.
will he tell keith even the bare minimum of how he truly feels? no. the moment is heavy and strained as it is, and as always, shiro doesn’t want to talk about the burdens of his life. so he deflects. still staring into the crowd, he lets his mouth tug hard to one side on a lopsided smile, none of that supposed amusement reaching his eyes. ]
No. [ at least he sounds sure in that one word. the rest? comes out flippant, clearly playing up a joke. ] He’d hate it here for one. The whole 2021 east coast living while preventing an apocalypse thing -- heh, it would not go over well. He needs structure and routine, something he can depend on.
[ amazing then, that he stuck it out so long with shiro and his chaotic health. though, maybe there's something to that. adam could depend on the progression of the disease and the gradual decline of shiro’s body. he simply couldn’t depend on shiro’s reaction to it. he blows out a breath on the thought and then pitches his weight back, reclining his back to the picnic table, elbows resting along the edge.
he tilts a look keith’s way and again, forces the joke. ]
And two… things are scary enough as they are without my ex following me around.