Eda didn't object to them taking her hand. Normally the reassurance might have been awkward but right now it helped a bit.
And then she squeezed back as their voice cracked, a little surprised when they opened up as much as they did. She wasn't convinced she was brave, but she decided it wasn't the time to argue that point. As for the rest, well, it was a lot. There was a time when she wanted an apology, but right now... right now she just didn't like hearing Raine blame themself like that.
She swallowed, doing her damnedest not to tear up again, and bit back some old instinct to get overwhelmed and run. (What was that about brave? Hah.)
But instead she just… looked at them for a moment. Really took in what was familiar and what wasn't. The decades she hadn't spent with them. That they hadn’t spent with each other.
Little things. The bags under their eyes that didn't used to be that deep, and the new creases at the corners. The faint but notable lines etched into their forehead from a lifetime of stage fright. Their hairline creeping back at the temples, and the narrow waves of silver across the seafoam green. The way they'd filled out, just a bit, overall. Stronger both in build and something in the set of their jaw, even now. A kind of strength that showed in telling her all this, or at least that was how it read to her.
Even if Raine didn’t look quite as old as she did these days, they'd both missed a lot, hadn't they? They'd both changed a lot.
But their eyes were the same, their bone structure, the planes of their face–albeit sharper and squarer than ever (those potions really did work wonders).
The calluses on their fingertips were achingly familiar as she idly traced her thumb over them.
They were still gorgeous. They were still Raine.
And she still loved them, didn't she?
Then she realised she was looking at them just a little too long and dropped her gaze with a small, very awkward chuckle.
"Raine, you... you did the right thing for you, back then. And that's okay. You had so much going for you and I--I should have let you help me," she admitted, even though there was a little bit more to that than she was quite ready to articulate. "But that wasn't your job. You didn't need all that." By which she meant her, probably.
"Look how much you've done with your life. No regrets on my account, alright? I'm proud of you." Even if it didn't work out, even if it didn't save everyone in the end... they got as far as they did. While she just wasted most of the last two decades.
"But... I really wasn't trying to use you. Ever. Just so you know." They already said they knew the way they were thinking of her was wrong, but she still felt the need to say it. She didn't sound like she was defending herself, just... sad if she ever made them feel that way.
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And then she squeezed back as their voice cracked, a little surprised when they opened up as much as they did. She wasn't convinced she was brave, but she decided it wasn't the time to argue that point. As for the rest, well, it was a lot. There was a time when she wanted an apology, but right now... right now she just didn't like hearing Raine blame themself like that.
She swallowed, doing her damnedest not to tear up again, and bit back some old instinct to get overwhelmed and run. (What was that about brave? Hah.)
But instead she just… looked at them for a moment. Really took in what was familiar and what wasn't. The decades she hadn't spent with them. That they hadn’t spent with each other.
Little things. The bags under their eyes that didn't used to be that deep, and the new creases at the corners. The faint but notable lines etched into their forehead from a lifetime of stage fright. Their hairline creeping back at the temples, and the narrow waves of silver across the seafoam green. The way they'd filled out, just a bit, overall. Stronger both in build and something in the set of their jaw, even now. A kind of strength that showed in telling her all this, or at least that was how it read to her.
Even if Raine didn’t look quite as old as she did these days, they'd both missed a lot, hadn't they? They'd both changed a lot.
But their eyes were the same, their bone structure, the planes of their face–albeit sharper and squarer than ever (those potions really did work wonders).
The calluses on their fingertips were achingly familiar as she idly traced her thumb over them.
They were still gorgeous. They were still Raine.
And she still loved them, didn't she?
Then she realised she was looking at them just a little too long and dropped her gaze with a small, very awkward chuckle.
"Raine, you... you did the right thing for you, back then. And that's okay. You had so much going for you and I--I should have let you help me," she admitted, even though there was a little bit more to that than she was quite ready to articulate. "But that wasn't your job. You didn't need all that." By which she meant her, probably.
"Look how much you've done with your life. No regrets on my account, alright? I'm proud of you." Even if it didn't work out, even if it didn't save everyone in the end... they got as far as they did. While she just wasted most of the last two decades.
"But... I really wasn't trying to use you. Ever. Just so you know." They already said they knew the way they were thinking of her was wrong, but she still felt the need to say it. She didn't sound like she was defending herself, just... sad if she ever made them feel that way.