[He shakes his head, partially to convince himself, and partially in response.]

I-- I couldn't. I mean, that's the whole point of what we're doing here, right? So this doesn't have to happen.

[It's not the only thing that scares him about all of this, anyway, and he worries his bottom lip for a moment.]

I can't tell if it's not as bad for me because I know what to expect, or because it's... you know. Helping me, in some way.