[ it’s barely anything at all. shiro would’ve missed it if he wasn’t so close, staring at keith’s face. keith’s gaze drops and it’s only then, when keith resumes eye contact, that shiro begins to understand what it is he’s seeing. that’s not relief staring back at him. that’s yearning. keith’s talking but he sounds far away, even with scant inches between them, because shiro’s head is suddenly full of questions and options and fears and above all else, wants that are so loud they nearly drown out everything else.
does keith want to kiss him? does shiro want to kiss him? he shouldn’t want to. that’s not the question. he thinks about it almost every night, of how they came together so easily with one kiss, two, keith falling asleep in his arms. maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it really was having the comforting presence of keith in his bed, but it was one of his better nights. no insomnia, no night terrors once exhaustion finally took him – it was such a good night in so many ways and yet, what did he do once he opened his eyes to keith soft-eyed with sleep and the worst case of bed head he’s ever seen? he cowered in the face of that little slice of paradise and denied himself of it without hesitation.
they hadn’t chose that for themselves. drink had been in their system. they’d been influenced. vulnerable. he couldn’t bring himself to collect on a lapse in keith’s judgment. and afterward? hours to days later of him mulling over his dishonesty? he meant to bring it up and talk through the elephant in the room of whatever has been brewing between keith and him, but again, fear had him pushing it off, always telling himself later. later became never after hermy the wormy and now they’re here. keith is the most important person to him here and back home, if shiro screws up this friendship with some misplaced desire…
so he doesn’t lean in. vulnerable repeats in his mind and he thinks of how keith’s emotions are rubbed raw right now. you’d be taking advantage of him. it’s with that thought that shiro once again tells himself later and goes the much safer route of smiling in that soft way of his, vowing with a repeat of: ]
Right. No matter what.
[ deal sealed, shiro tightens his arm to hold keith in for one last, firm squeeze and then relaxes his grip, arm releasing keith’s shoulder. ]
How about we start that by getting out of this shower and into some dry clothes? [ as much as he enjoys sticking it to adi by running up the water bill, they do need to get out at some point. better sooner than later seeing as keith’s been in here – what? over half an hour. he smiles encouragingly, giving keith a nudge with a bump of his shoulder and sweetens the prospect: ]
I made us some ramen. [ er. oh yeah, about that. actually – ] but… it’s probably cold by now. I can reheat it?
no subject
does keith want to kiss him? does shiro want to kiss him? he shouldn’t want to. that’s not the question. he thinks about it almost every night, of how they came together so easily with one kiss, two, keith falling asleep in his arms. maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it really was having the comforting presence of keith in his bed, but it was one of his better nights. no insomnia, no night terrors once exhaustion finally took him – it was such a good night in so many ways and yet, what did he do once he opened his eyes to keith soft-eyed with sleep and the worst case of bed head he’s ever seen? he cowered in the face of that little slice of paradise and denied himself of it without hesitation.
they hadn’t chose that for themselves. drink had been in their system. they’d been influenced. vulnerable. he couldn’t bring himself to collect on a lapse in keith’s judgment. and afterward? hours to days later of him mulling over his dishonesty? he meant to bring it up and talk through the elephant in the room of whatever has been brewing between keith and him, but again, fear had him pushing it off, always telling himself later. later became never after hermy the wormy and now they’re here. keith is the most important person to him here and back home, if shiro screws up this friendship with some misplaced desire…
so he doesn’t lean in. vulnerable repeats in his mind and he thinks of how keith’s emotions are rubbed raw right now. you’d be taking advantage of him. it’s with that thought that shiro once again tells himself later and goes the much safer route of smiling in that soft way of his, vowing with a repeat of: ]
Right. No matter what.
[ deal sealed, shiro tightens his arm to hold keith in for one last, firm squeeze and then relaxes his grip, arm releasing keith’s shoulder. ]
How about we start that by getting out of this shower and into some dry clothes? [ as much as he enjoys sticking it to adi by running up the water bill, they do need to get out at some point. better sooner than later seeing as keith’s been in here – what? over half an hour. he smiles encouragingly, giving keith a nudge with a bump of his shoulder and sweetens the prospect: ]
I made us some ramen. [ er. oh yeah, about that. actually – ] but… it’s probably cold by now. I can reheat it?