[ one minute keith is standing, the next he’s being plucked off his feet and being carried. like a child -- is his first bitter thought, but he can’t fathom a proper objection to any of this. shiro wants to take him home, and deep down keith wants that too.
but it’s not as simple as that, is it? keith doesn’t want to go home if home is that lifeless apartment full of negative space that shiro used to occupy. what he wants is to go back to a different time and space entirely, when things used to be simple and a bad day consisted of getting chewed out by iverson in front of his peers. he keeps cycling back to those days a lot, knowing that it’s self indulgent and chilidish.
in the end, maybe that’s why rather than throwing up resistance and trying to get back onto his feet, keith goes limp in his best friend’s arms, gently pressing the side of his head against shiro’s chest to quietly mouth two words. ]
I’m sorry.
[ he couldn’t even say what he’s apologizing for here. everything is what it feels like. for the downward spiral of his life in the last two weeks. the fact that he’s making shiro carry him yet again. for trying to do everyone alone again. keith closes his eyes and keeps them shut through the gentle brush of chin on his head and the returned i’m sorry, too. we’ll talk it all out when we’re back home.
it’s a a promise that manages to make keith feel uneasy all over again, even as it offers some glimmers of hope. he offers a noncommittal mm in return, and the conversation goes silent as shiro figures out how to get them home. it passes in something of a blur for keith. there are easy jokes to be made here about abandoning a mission early, but the queasiness from earlier drains whatever humor exists in the moment.
finally, after shiro’s arranged for them to be picked up several blocks away from the warehouse, it isn’t much longer before they arrive back at adi’s housing complex. again the ride back is entirely quiet. keith ought to be using that time to organize what the hell it is that he wants to say, but his head has gone blank on actual thought. instead, his mind is occupied with replaying the filth and grime of the thousands of bugs crawling around in the warehouse, on victims -- on him, and as soon as they enter the apartment, keith rips off his exterminator garb and tosses it into the garbage compactor. it isn’t enough to get the creeping sensation off of him though, and he looks over his shoulder, as it fo check that shiro is still present. ]
I feel gross.
[ murmured as keith then hastily turns on the tap at the sink and rinses out his mouth. he gurlges, spits, repeats and then proceeds to just dunk his whole head under the running tap water. ]
sure, sure. im not judging you
but it’s not as simple as that, is it? keith doesn’t want to go home if home is that lifeless apartment full of negative space that shiro used to occupy. what he wants is to go back to a different time and space entirely, when things used to be simple and a bad day consisted of getting chewed out by iverson in front of his peers. he keeps cycling back to those days a lot, knowing that it’s self indulgent and chilidish.
in the end, maybe that’s why rather than throwing up resistance and trying to get back onto his feet, keith goes limp in his best friend’s arms, gently pressing the side of his head against shiro’s chest to quietly mouth two words. ]
I’m sorry.
[ he couldn’t even say what he’s apologizing for here. everything is what it feels like. for the downward spiral of his life in the last two weeks. the fact that he’s making shiro carry him yet again. for trying to do everyone alone again. keith closes his eyes and keeps them shut through the gentle brush of chin on his head and the returned i’m sorry, too. we’ll talk it all out when we’re back home.
it’s a a promise that manages to make keith feel uneasy all over again, even as it offers some glimmers of hope. he offers a noncommittal mm in return, and the conversation goes silent as shiro figures out how to get them home. it passes in something of a blur for keith. there are easy jokes to be made here about abandoning a mission early, but the queasiness from earlier drains whatever humor exists in the moment.
finally, after shiro’s arranged for them to be picked up several blocks away from the warehouse, it isn’t much longer before they arrive back at adi’s housing complex. again the ride back is entirely quiet. keith ought to be using that time to organize what the hell it is that he wants to say, but his head has gone blank on actual thought. instead, his mind is occupied with replaying the filth and grime of the thousands of bugs crawling around in the warehouse, on victims -- on him, and as soon as they enter the apartment, keith rips off his exterminator garb and tosses it into the garbage compactor. it isn’t enough to get the creeping sensation off of him though, and he looks over his shoulder, as it fo check that shiro is still present. ]
I feel gross.
[ murmured as keith then hastily turns on the tap at the sink and rinses out his mouth. he gurlges, spits, repeats and then proceeds to just dunk his whole head under the running tap water. ]