He looks at Gil, and he tries to picture him young-- Jeff's own age-- and scared and on the cusp of losing everything. If that one cop didn't decide to do something good and show him mercy, then... this version of Gil, the one he's talking to, wouldn't even exist.

He wonders if he's at his own crossroad moment like that, or if he's already walked past it, and set on his path.

"Is that why you decided to be a cop?"