[Log] Tired of Sleeping (open, one closed prompt)

[henchgal]

Who: Meredith and Y'all
When: Early half of October
Where: Apartment B1, ADI Offices, a cafe in town
Summary: Meredith dealing with sleepy-song related brain-fog, getting frustrated with herself
Warnings: Minor memory loss/brain fog, may lead into discussion of self-esteem, perfectionism and disability issues.


1. The Bird on the String is Hanging (Closed, B1)
Meredith left three, almost four hours ago to go do the groceries. Any attempts to text her while she's out may lead to the discovery that she left her phone near the french press, which she failed to clean out this morning. It's not like her, really it's not.

And now she's finally back, but what she lays out on the kitchen counter are hardly really groceries. To wit: a tub of caramel popcorn, a bag of Halloween candy, one whole frozen turkey and a single box of cereal. Even she seems confused by what's sitting there before her, staring at the turkey as if it'll explain itself.


2. Clean, Quilted Heart (Open, ADI Offices)
It's slowly getting worse, the slip-ups, the moments when her mind stutters and exhaustion makes the decisions for her. Perhaps the worst incident comes on a workday, when Meredith shows up to the ADI office not only without makeup, but still in her pajamas. She looks...sloppy. It's not like her, given her usual attention to appearances, her need to be just so.

But she's torn between going home to change and just riding out the day. "Perhaps I need to just keep an emergency change of clothes here at the office."

It's a lighthearted comment, but she feels almost as bad as if she'd walked out without any pants on.


3. I Wonder When I'll Be Waking (Open, Cafe in Town)
Coffee solves a lot of ills, right? Meredith's at a cafe out in town, trying to deal with her exhaustion in the way that tastes best. But she's been staring blearily at the menu, holding up the line for several minutes. Perhaps she might need a rescue or someone to just say 'a coffee, please' on her behalf, because between the frappe-machi-mocha-cinos, she's totally lost the plot.


X. I Just Can't Hear What He's Saying (Wildcard)
Please hit me at darkersolstice or darkersolstice#9463 to discuss, but all wildcards are welcome!

Comments

1.

[abrightboy]

The french press is clean when she gets home. It’s not like her to miss it, but it’s not beyond Malcolm to do it.

He wanders over as she’s staring at the haul.

“This looks like my pantry at home.”

[henchgal]

"If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were just saying that to make me feel better about my failure to do groceries."

Meredith sighs, rubbing sleepy eyes, and begins putting away what can be put away. "I'll have to try again tomorrow after work or something. This won't feed us for a week."

[abrightboy]

“Speak for yourself,” he teases, already unwrapping one candy and putting it in his mouth. “Is the turkey for injuries or do you want it to thaw?”

He’s really asking.

[henchgal]

"I don't know. Shit, is turkey something you'll eat? If not...I don't know what I'm going to feed you this week. Well...maybe the carcass can become soup later. If I can manage to cook it without setting the kitchen on fire."

That's...less of a joke than it ought to be. Meredith knows something's going completely tits-up here.

[abrightboy]

“I can eat turkey. And candy. It’s like I went shopping. What happened?” he asks gently.

3

[aelwyn_aberration]

[Well. That's Meredith. Clearly having an exhaustion induced moment.

She places a hand on Meredith's shoulder as the line gets increasingly irritated with her.]

She'll just have a cortado. Make that two cortados thanks. [She'll gently lead Meredith away from the angry mob and give her a concerned look. The bags under her own eyes are pronounced but she doesn't seem quite as out of it as Meredith is yet.]

[henchgal]

"I couldn't remember what I was supposed to be there to buy, so I just...tried to get food?" She pinches the bridge of her nose, letting out a snort. "You must think I'm going crazy. I'm so sorry, Malcolm."

[henchgal]

...yeah, that.

[Meredith manages to focus the bulk of her attention on Aelwyn.]

Sorry, I didn't mean to cause any trouble for you.

[abrightboy]

"I never use the word 'crazy'," he tells her. "Except for myself," he concedes. "And you don't need to apologize. But I am concerned, because this isn't like you. How do you feel?"

CW: poor coping mechanisms relating to physical disability? Not sure what to call this, exactly

[henchgal]

"Tired, but everyone's tired right now. Look, I just need to figure out what I need to do to push through it better. I need to stop making mistakes and then everything will be fine. Right? Right."

She sounds oddly defensive there, as if the music messing with everyone is something that is somehow her issue to deal with. But then, that's how it's been. Any deficiency she experiences is something she needs to just get over. Push through. Figure out how to function despite. She does such a good job, some people even think she's okay.

[abrightboy]

“Sometimes we can’t just… push through it so everyone else doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Maybe you need to rest. That’s okay, you know,” Malcolm tells her.

[henchgal]

"No, it's not okay. Other people get to rest, but I've got to do twice as much just to be considered half as good. And someone's got to take care of you and Tim. I can't just stop, I'm necessary."

She leans on the counter, looking at the turkey again blankly.

[aelwyn_aberration]

Oh believe me, honey, you didn't. You just gave me a chance to cut the line.

[She smiles deviously before leading Meredith over to a table relatively cut off from anyone else.]

Feeling okay? I think the exhaustion's starting to get to all of us.

[henchgal]

I'll be fine. I'm always fine.

[That's complete and utter defensive bullshit rather than an answer to the question.]

[abrightboy]

“You’re very necessary,” Malcolm assures her, “but we’re not going to die if you take a day off. I promise.”

[henchgal]

"No, you'll just eat Twizzlers for all three meals, and Tim will sulk in his room and not eat at all. And if I stop for a day, I might be tempted to take longer, and I can't. If I stop, I'm not sure I'll be able to start up again."

[aelwyn_aberration]

We've had this conversation, if you'll recall.

Nobody's "always fine."

[ployboy]

He knew it. He knew it was coming, that it was inevitable in any relationship. Tim just hadn't thought it would happen so soon, or that he would be so unprepared. That's all on him, that's all his fault.

This is a test is the grim thought in his head as he stares at the frozen turkey.

Maybe he's supposed to create something moderately palatable out of all of the ingredients before him in this kitchen counter.

Ingredients is used loosely, of course. Very loosely.

He stares at Meredith and swears he doesn't mean to stare, exactly.

It's the anxiety.

"Uh. Did you have something in mind for today? I don't think... the turkey will thaw."

He can find a flamethrower.

[henchgal]

It is absolutely not a test. She flinches at the question, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry. I tried to do the groceries, but my head was in a fog. I know this isn't right, and I'm sorry. We can order grubhub or something tonight, and I'll try again tomorrow. I'm sorry."

[henchgal]

Yes, well, maybe I'm nobody then. [If it sounds bitter, perhaps she is. But she catches herself a moment after the words slip out, looking at Aelwyn.]

I don't mean that, I'm fine.

[aelwyn_aberration]

...You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. [She knows she certainly wouldn't in Meredith's shoes. She doesn't want to talk about how this state is bringing back memories she thought she'd forgotten, about what it felt like blinking awake and seeing Adaine in that hot spring about...

Her paranoia's not doing great, either.]

It's just been a rough two months.

[henchgal]

It's been rough for everyone, so talking about it is just commiserating, at the end of the day. It's not going to help.

And if I try to go to counseling, Caduceus will tell me to be nicer to myself.

[And that would just be awful.]

[aelwyn_aberration]

[She can relate. To not wanting to go to Caduceus or counseling or anything like that.

Not... necessarily because she doesn't think there's any point to them or anything she's just too smart for therapy.]

Then let's not talk about it. And instead literally talk about anything else. Also maybe get a bagel each.

2

[cacophonish]

After blacking out mid-set and losing his busking money more than once, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Which is to say that Jeff's gotten a job. Sort of. He's been hired part-time to help out in the Admin department, which really just means he goes out to fetch people's coffee (and boy do people want coffee now), or their lunch, or pick up this-and-that supply, and is otherwise tasked with making Halloween decorations for the upcoming party.

(It's the best use of his 'talents,' they learned, after he fucked up every other menial office task.)

He looks a mess, himself, as he stops by Meredith's desk and sets down a cup of coffee for her, but it's hard to say if Jeff's experiencing the same brain fog, or if he just rolled out of Bonnie's looking like this after partying all night or something. It's possible he's still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He definitely smells like a bar.

But hey, he knows Meredith is always way more put together than this, and something must be way off for her to show up without any makeup, and still wearing her pjs.

"Heeey. Want me to pick something up for you?" he offers. You know, a change of clothes, her makeup... kit, more coffee, whatever. "It's kind of my job now."

[abrightboy]

“Okay; I get that. I’m slightly offended, because I would only eat Twizzlers for two meals and I’d order in the third and share it with Tim, but… point taken,” he concedes. “Maybe we should make a list…” he suggests.